Hey guys I wrote a poem. What do you think of it?
I would appreciate evaluation and feedback.

My feedback is you should kill youraelf, Anon.

>>24559084
What about in my technical execution. What can I improve?

for the first three lines i had the impression that this poem would both ryhme and scan, the word "thin" threw off the scansion of the poem and the there was no more rhyme. disappionting. i was looking foward to a bit of pithy doggerel, instead i just got YET MORE free verse. there is far more than enough free verse.

>>24558403 (OP)
An American classic.

>>24560702
That is like telling Shakespeare that you needed more rhymes in Hamlet. What had, what needed to be expressed, required free verse. This isn’t lighthearted Byronic sport, it’s something more profound. The music is lucid and well controlled, exemplifying order and variation

Autistics for whom racism becomes their hyper fixation have to the most contemptable of all beings

>>24560871
Agreed. Racists are abominable. But how do you relate this insight to the poem?