Thread 24873523

prev >>24869113

Why couldn't I join in the siege of Troy and take home a Trojan woman, or die trying? I want a war bride or death.

anyone else think they might be entirely screwed mentally
like if i don't fast and meditate for several months and somehow hit the reset switch on my brain it's probably over

My farts are always real sour, never sweet like girl farts.

My penis is buttery.

>>24873529
Seems my body decided I was still 17 at 27
This has continued for quite a few decades.

>>24873523 (OP)
I don't know French. I don't kiss in French. I don't transfer escargot snails from my mouth to that of a hazel eyed temptation. I don't hold my cigarette between my middle finger and ring. I don't smoke perfumed cigarettes. I don't wear French perfume.
I am just me; how terrible.

>>24873523 (OP)
Some dude I knew on Twitter died. I didn't actually know him, he was just one of the few accounts I followed. His final post was from a hospital and was probably one of his last utterances.

What a weird phenomenon it is to have a last post.

>>24873560
I've never even smelled one.

>>24873560
Upper bowel obstruction can cause odorless flatulence. Maybe you've inadvertently got a thing for constipated women with irritable bowels.

Lil worried right now. Why did google show me a memory of me jacking my dick? Where did that video come from. It wasnt in my gallery

I'm THINKING! I'm a big THINKER!
the THINKER
he destroyed his THINKER
yes
yes
The THINKER is using is THINKER
>>24873589
Sorry about your loss.

Fuck this place is bullshit!
Nonstop trash posts scum bumping anything of genuine inquiry
We need a /lit/ general on /lit/

OR ACTUAL MODERATION.

>>24873655
First day, tourist?

>>24873651
This was posted from a THINKpad

>>24873656
NO. Back again, posting here and there for a few days and then made one real post. Some ass hat tells me to "stop talking about it larper"
Granted it has been dab for a good 10, 15 years, but I do recall our old moderation and user base.

>>24873656
NO. Back again, posting here and there for a few days and then made one real post. Some ass hat tells me to "stop talking about it, larper"
Granted it has been bad for a good 10, 15 years, but I do recall our old moderation and user base.

I'm thinking about writing my thoughts casually. Substack? I'd like for it to be pretty private, like no one actually cares about some no-name on these sites, but I need a bit of the pressure of it being at least *seeable*. I get lazy and complacent without the little hope that someone might find meaning in the text. This place isn't fulfilling my need for pontification on a like daily basis.

I'm considering shitting myself.

Dreamt that 4chan had a trending tab. Shit went hard we need that. No posts i mean btw but words and topics like twitter has

>>24873687
i can't believe you would post this instead of just posting your pontifications. like i'm genuinely furious right now. let me see them. why tease like that. let me see.

It's the fact that you're probably happy and fine and you don't ever think about me. You don't lie awake at night remembering what you did. I'm the only one stuck in this

>>24873658
Unironically, yes!
>>24873667
>back in MY day
OK

>>24873765
i'm going to strangle you to death

You lied to me

>>24873792
I don't know you!

I just bumped into this coworker in the hallway. I think she's irritated with me because we're supposed to be working on something and I'm procrastinating and she is too, but maybe slightly less than I am. This isn't the coworker I really, terribly, extremely badly want to fuck, nor is it the coworker I've gradually and to my surprise discovered I'd also like to fuck. Or maybe I'd like to fuck her, too: I'll have to think about it some more.

>>24873748
I guess it's some unattainable ideal and thinking once you do it, the writing, you'll be magically and very permanently fulfilled by the pure idea of now Writing, instead of not writing. I've been reading Infinite Jest, and there's a totally apt segment about keeping the tennis players in their own little world of competition, away from the making-it until they've been tempered in the world of "not being seen, but seeing" so that when they really do make it professionally, the ennui of release won't reach the critical point of e.g. suicide and ultimate dejection. Knowing that fulfillment is a process rather than any state.

I vacillate between thinking the answer to everything must be in the couple thousand years of written thought, and the cyclic eternal day that I keep living inspiring only further sleep. Just trying to figure where to pour all this nervous energy into so that the nihilism and depression don't outweigh the moments of meaningful inspiration on the psychic scale.

>>24873523 (OP)
Schizophrenia is the answer to all my problems.

>>24873808
Suicide*

I must write my book so I can be mentally sane enough to write my book.
>>24873798
>thinking about fucking
uhh...

I ranked all the fandoms I've been a part of since I was a kid.

>>24873792
About what?

>>24873836
>horizon over witcher and lord of the rings
I ought to rape you

>>24873874
lmao. I still think Witcher 3 is great and the original Peter Jackson films are good. I just hate everything else.

>>24873800
that infinite jest analogy is very apt. i confess i've also toyed with the idea of starting a substack, because i can't write without some plausible hope of a sympathetic audience, but i think what i truly yearn for above all is to have been publishing pamphlets in elizabethan london.

>>24873915
There's always some type of /image/ that you think of, you know? An empty room with a typewriter and table—that'll get me writing. Some kind of like pure thing that should attach itself directly onto your psyche and melt into it. Doesn't work.

I've thought that one thing you can do is like guerilla publishing. Write something and just leave copies all over. In library shelves and coffee shops. That type of thing. Anything to escape how un/antimysterious this information age is. Celebrities without faces, thoughts from out of the void. There's something to it. I don't want followers in numbers on online platforms.

The only cure for being sad is to learn something.

ohne dich bin ich allein

You are not who you say you are.

Clearly you did not take what I said to heart.

>>24874113
I am not anonymous.
I AM SOMEBODY!

And honestly I anticipated that you would react to it that way but I hoped I was wrong about you.

>>24874136
https://youtu.be/sn5hCdHuZzw?si=MuDdnrI7ur8SJa96

>>24874145
Thankfully I'm not Jesse Jackson

I really wanted to believe that you were better than that.

>>24874180
That I'm better than what?

>>24874192
Jesse Jackson

I try to remind myself that someone who was callous enough to treat me that way in the first place is not going to magically regret what they did and apologize. But I still wish you would.

I really hate having a lazy eye. I look retarded.

>>24874136
https://youtu.be/M7Cs-VIDKSY

>>24874278
It would look cute if you were otherwise attractive.

>>24874285
I don't think I am unattractive, but I am fairly quiet and have been told I have a flat expression. It is one of those traits that exacerbate your percieved stupidity/"weirdness".

>>24873523 (OP)
I wish I could write. Everything I write makes me feel terrible. You can tell it was written by an arrogant little narcissist and when I try to affect being casual and relaxed and even just-plain-not-good instead of making things better, it makes things worse. It's still obviously the work of an arrogant narcissist, but one making an utterly childish attempt to pretend to be something else.

>>24873424
lol

and why people gotta be so hateful :(

my aunt went back for somethiing medical and now works at the main hospital downtown. she was waiting tables and such before. she's the second smartest person in the family (after me obv) and I've considered doing something similar (I'm 30 now)

Should I read Gaddis' JR or The Recognitions first? The library has both.

>>24874326
Be firm and tell them how it is. You don't have to agree with everything people say. Definitely don't hold back because you fear the judgement of random people who don't matter to you at all.

>>24874331
thanks botposting anon

>>24874335
I maintain a strict 50/50 ratio of schizoposting and NPC-posting for cosmic balance.

I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to leave this board forever. I just can’t because I miss you

>>24874340
kek touche

The aspect of suicide which terrifies me the most is the risk of reincarnating as an impoverished third-worlder. Though if I do, then statistics suggest I might actually end up having kids, so that's one benefit.

>>24874356
Does the concern really make sense if we are all going to die anyways? We will either get reincarnated now or in a few years. Does it matter that much?

>>24874367
Yes? Because I don't wanna to become an adult in fuckin' Somalia or a beggar in Indonesia. What if I end up living to old age in that life?

>>24874367
>>24874372
Oh, wait, I misunderstood your post.

It does because if I know things are gonna get much, much worse, then well, I'd rather prolong this life and delay that one as much as I can. At least to the point where I'm not bringing it about immediately at my own hand, y'know?

>>24874372
If you believe in reincarnation you are going to become the Somali no matter what; it is only a matter of when. You would be suffering more in your current life for no benefit.

>>24874384
It doesn't make sense rationally, but I can understand why you have that thought process.

I have been using chatgpt as a therapist
Honestly, it is shit, but that will have to do for the time being
it is "predictable", it just with variations of its bullshit, depending on the whining I type, often I know its answer before I send my text

>>24874405
On the optimistic side, sometimes it's just about being heard, expressing yourself, getting the thoughts out, so knowing the responses beforehand is irrelevant. No different than a friend replying, "damn, that sucks man, sorry to hear that." That still works.

On the negative side, enjoy your narcissistic journey into psychological botslime.

I saw somebody on here talking about the rich/billionaires like the average /pol/tard talks about the Jews. Like they controlled everything, they can't be touched, they're always going to win, that sort of thing.

Do some people just need a class of people like that to exist? The supreme puppetmasters, the untouchable evil overlords, that sort of thing? Do some people psychologically need such beings to exist to function?

>>24874530
Indeed, it's a supreme emotional comfort to think that people are in control of all this chaos, even if they're supposedly evil.

Where did I go wrong?
1. First rejjdjdjd

I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna

X to the D to the D X to the D

They’re great! Great!

Gre

aT

>>24874569
Why not just worship God, in that case?

I remember, as a kid, occasionally cringing a little as I turned a page and the little sharp tear sounded from the base of the page. I just realized I haven't accidentally torn a page in many, many years.

My cat has been given one week to recover or she will 'have' to be put down, she doesn't seem to be recovering. Pray for her bros. What should I read for the first book i've ever read within 2 months of its publication - Shadow Ticket or Tom's Crossing?

>>24874603
God's up in his cloud of unknowing. It's a lot more comforting to think knowable humans are behind it all.

Do you ever regret hurting me

>>24874530
The biggest problem with a conspiracy theory that there is a secret group of rich people secretly running the world is that there is a non secret group of rich people non secretly running the world

>>24874681
Yese

Shat-
Tered..
Glass..
Frag-
Ment..

>>24874682
The trouble comes when you think of them as invincible. I don't understand this impulse to view this or that cabal as unstoppable. Nobody's unstoppable. The rich people aren't and the Jews aren't either. They're all just mortal like you and me.

god I love spending my whole evening reading wiktionary

It feels like the US economy is rapidly going to turn into a slave-trade more so than it already is.This entire morning I was laying on my bed in mental agony trying to come to terms with it and lamenting the wasted years spent training for some career that I'm never going to have. That people are only talking about cutting back on consuming over the holidays is insane to me. What will it take for this illusion to be shattered so that something may be done?

We live in the "hide behind my gf while getting mugged" era

>>24874769
Unironically I am excited that Fuentes and the Groypers seem to be stepping things up. We need to accelerate. Them AND the Commies on the other side. Accelerate. Accelerate. If things are going as planned right now, then plans need to be disrupted, dramatically so.

>>24874789
Oh fuck off. All you accelerationist fags do is fantasize about how after The Collapse™ it'll be YOU and your special ideological group taking power and lining up your enemies against the walls. None of you have a coherent plan or even values beyond "fuck the system" and cringy power fantasies.
>yes haha we will make everything go to shit and make everyone hate each other and it will all fall apart and while a roving gang is disemboweling me with a kitchen knife while robbing my home I'll think about how fucking based this is and how much pvre aryan vril to power they have
Pathetic.

Bruhhh why do my legs shake uncontrollably when I get high. Im not even anxious its just fucking annoying

Tim Robinson is so good.

>>24874798
Some of us have done more than fantasize. Don't forget that here on 4chan you could be talking to ANYONE.

More than that, at least it's a plan of sorts. Better than having NO plan as the tech overlords seek to put us in permanent debt slavery under the watch of an omniscient panopticon.

>>24873523 (OP)
Was on FaceTime again with my girl. She's gone back to her hometown, meeting her extended family. So we're talking before bed as usual, and her sister and girl cousin come into her room tipsy, and we all start chatting. They're all not wearing bras because they're about to go to bed. Not a big deal, so I keep chatting. Her cousin keeps smiling like crazy and looking at my shyly whenever I try talking to her. A few minutes later, my girl's sisters drunkenly points out, "omg girl cousin your nipples are hard like a mountain" and the girl cousin replies, "oh god I know but his smile is so handsome and his voice is so deep", to which the sister says, "right???", to which all three sisters break out in giggly laughter.

Is this normal among sisters? Isn't it super weird to say you think you think your sister's bf is sexually attractive to you?

Something I wrote about an 87 year old man who made some popular Youtube videos fifteen years ago, and still makes weekly uploads, to about 12k views each.

His videos are getting very low effort now. From fun concepts with themes to shaky 'budget cooking' videos, coupon chicken and veggies, bad editing in a dim kitchen. His new house looks smaller. He knows though if he were to stop, he'd be dead, nothing left to do. Or perhaps harder to deal with, everyone would immediately comment 'he's DEAD.' He sees it everyday.

Trapped. Why'd he choose to end his 80 year spree this way, his happy little life, unlucky, unfulfilled, but never huge or terrible, now ends up in moderate popularity on this alien medium he can never fully understand.

>>24874844
ⰡⰾⰻⰱⰾⱆⱅⱑⰡⰸⰰⰱⱁⱅⱐⱄⰭⰰⱁⱅⰵⰱⰵⰶⱁⱄⱄⱆⰱⱆⱅⰻⱄⱅⱁⰱⱁⰻⱆⰻⱀⱁⰲⱁⰴⰻⱅⰻⰲⱃⰵⰿⰵⰭⰰⱄⱅⱁⰱⱁⰻⱆⱅⰻⱅⰲⱁⱃⰻⱄⰻⰿⱏⱀⰵⰿⰻⱃⱏⰻⱃⰰⰴⱁⱄⱅⰻⰂⱑⱃⱆⱅⱑⰐⰵⰳⰾⰰⰳⱁⰾⱆⱄⰻⰵⰲⱄⰵⰿⱏⰻⰐⰵⰻⰳⱃⰰⰭⱆⰶⱁⱄⱄⱆⱅⱑⱃⰰⰶⱆⰿⰵⱅⰻⰻⰴⰰⱃⰰⰶⱆⰿⰵⰵⱄⰻⰿⱏⱀⰵⰻⰴⰰⰂⱑⱃⰻⱄⰻⰡⰽⱁⰾⰻⰱⰾⱆⱅⱑⰻⱄⱅⰻⱀⱏ

>>24873589
Everyone who has ever posted will have a last post unless Bryan Johnson figures out a way to not die
>>24873687
That’s an easy nontechnical choice
If you drop by /g/ and ask in the web-dev general you’ll get anons eager to help you out
But Substack will make it easier to notice if people are reading your stuff
If you just have a website, good fucking luck distinguishing humans from LLM scrapers

America, that great Antiquity, observed Sir Thomas Browne, lay buried in the Urn for centuries. At least I think he did. Something less bulky lay buried in my subliminal mind (for a somewhat shorter period), to wit, Did dragons have kidney-stones? Suddenly, and I don’t know why, it came to me that what I had really been wondering was, Did dragons have gizzard-stones? And with that the entire matter of dragons seemed to leave the realm of the imaginary and enter that of the possible.

>>24874325
Do you think you ought to try and be less of an arrogant narcissist?
>>24874605
Gratz on fixing a skill issue

I'm considering adopting a one-outfit aesthetic. I'm sure some of you are familiar with the type, usually women, who wear one really nice jacket with a variety of very similar shirts. I might try that out, especially since I already have the jacket. Then again, it's easier for women because the low-neckline is effective at providing style in a way T-shirts don't for men. Hmm.

pic related, a character in a TV show I recently binged with this very aesthetic.

I'm having toe curling feverish fart spurts right now.

I wish I had the words to tell you how I feel

I wish it was the 60s I wish we could be happy

I just experienced my first earthquake, 5.2 in Cyprus.

>>24873836
>>>/tv/215872961

>>24873672
>old moderation and user base.
Our old user base didn't have mods. Like literally the catalog would be covered in shit for days, blown out assholes everywhere, and mods would get to it when most of it was off the catalog from turnover on a small board.
Go read a book if you want something edited

>>24875251
Dumb larper

I'm reading Debt by david graeber and I like it. What are other books that deal with economic thought like this?

>>24875276
>anonbo thinks grandpa is listening
And when we did get mods they'd delete Lolita threads as CP

Revolution, dope, guns, fucking in the streets
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aETrWclwyNE

>>24874863
>one-outfit aesthetic
If you're going to be this much of a pretentious ass about it, I'm going to insist you refer to it as a signature piece as a one-outfit aesthetic is different to what you're describing

Kind of odd that Don Quixote is appreciated primarily as a satire of chivalry and the middle ages nowadays when Ariosto did the same thing but like almost an entire century sooner.

>download popular normie dating app
>make profile
>fill it with my incel rage
>say I'm ugly
>far right
>want to take it out on women
>also include the books i liked and incel thoughts on two books
>expect to be instabanned
>4 matches in 3 days
>all attractive women
>this morning a match sent the message first
"hi. you're really not that bad. do you want to meet at h——'s café or ———? not something serious but i tht you were interesting"
"if you want ofc no pressure"
>feel intense fear
>delete app immediately
What do I do now

>>24874885
Be careful, those always, suddenly and without warning convert into foot-pronating diarrheal spasms.

>>24875358
Consider becoming a monk?

>>24875207
where in cyprus

>>24875431
Larnaca.

>>24874844
LARP. You haven't done shit and will never do shit.

Motivated.

Determined.

Resilient.

Confident.

Mentally untouchable.

Had the laziest day today.
Ended up playing video games all day and jerked it a little.

>>24875533
didn't read any books?

>>24874857
Oh, I have a website. I just haven't paid for the domain in like two years and honestly, maintaining your own website means 0 visitors these days. At least on Substack someone /might/ stumble there.

Can't wait to get back home and jerk it to my colleague who posts CrossFit shit in her insta

>>24875564
Didn't feel like.

>>24874530
>>24874569
>>24874682
The problem is that it's hard to believe that people with so much power, wealth, and influence could also be so incredibly fucking stupid.

Like the West incrementally increasing coorporate taxes, regulation, minimum wage laws, etc... and then outsourcing all of their industry to the third world in order to avoid those same regulations, and now importing millions of third worlders who will cut corners and violate those same labour laws while also actively increasing the complexity, cost, etc. of those labour laws they're trying to get around. And Boomers will defend all of these things at the same time while pretending like you're a racist/nutcase for pointing out the contradictions ("What do you mean get rid of minimum wage? Do you want people to not be able to afford housing?" and "Chinese stuff is just cheaper, thats the free market at work, if you don't like it buy American" and "If the cost of housing ever went down that cause an economic meltdown everything is fine young people always have to get roomates for a couple years while they save up for their first downpayment").

It's so fundimentally bipolar. And obviously there are a lot of smart people at the helm, just look at the Club of Rome, these are not fools, so it's just incomprehensible for me that the CIA isn't outright murdering the single-issue-idiots driving this country off a cliff but instead they keep getting elected over and over again and all criticism is squashed or outright criminalized.

After being a neet for a few years I had forgotten how absolutely pointless and humiliating job interviews were
>asking me questions that could easily be answered if they looked at my cv for more than 5 seconds
>making up weird scenarios and asking me how I would proceed even thought I have never been in that position and there's nothing to play off of
>asking me things about the job that I could only if I have experienced it before even though they know i have none
>unironic ''Sell me this pen!'' threatrics

The fact that they're enough clowns out there that would do all of this hoop jumping and juggling to get what is essentially an entry level job that requires no experience is insane and speaks about how utterly mangled the economy and job sector is. Cannibalism when.

>>24875364
Okay, just cut my balls off, now what?

And I've been taking chances,
I've been setting myself up for the fall,
I've been keeping secrets,
From my heart and from my soul


No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

You did what you thought

Went through my mobile data and now I can't scroll twitter for a few days now. I'm getting the shakes.
I used to not even have mobile data until I was 23 or something, I was a long holdout.
Now I'm a total normroid.

>>24875358
Extremely relatable. I just don't date, since I know it's not going to work out.

>>24875574
based

>>24875833
I miss when I was committed to a psyche facility and required to interact with people, even though I hated it. The forced contact gave me an "excuse" not to run away and avoid people. I wish that I were forced in some way to meet with her but it's so much easier to run away especially when I realize it won't work in the end.

I just need to be forced.

>>24875857
You're like a panda. Unable to get laid unless forced to.

My girlfriend admitted to me that she's a p word. I said as long as you don't abuse anyone or anything, and she said she wouldn't. Very strange situation for me.

>>24875861
It's a stupid thing to tell anyone. She probably wants to be loved for who she is, with all her flaws, but you should never share stuff like that.

drinking wine, listening to music

>>24875861
shes a penis???

The four days were fun and helped make me even more excited for my new future. There is much to get done for my move, but I can't wait.

>>24875857
No, I totally understand. It's like being unable to open up unless you're perceived as suffering and under someone else's control. There's structure to it. You'll never be able to freely speak your mind if you've no restraints and it's just formless social engagement. Lacking structure, people like that just retreat to their own little prison-like private corners.

I've been thinking of spending like, ungodly amounts of time at the library, just reading. It'd work for "going outside," but I wonder if I can do it, mental-wise.

Always been fascinated by Michael Jackson since I was a kid. Truly the living embodiment of globohomo, the culmination of everything the 20th century was working towards. Being a homosexual pedophile rapist is the cherry on top

>>24875860
Haha. Too bad I am not a cute animal, but instead a hideous misanthrope.

>>24876007
I know exactly what you mean. That's precisely it. I have always felt imprisoned by freedom.

>>24875861
Get her into therapy. It‘s treatable but usually spirals into hurting someone even by those who thought they wouldn‘t because nobody wants to admit it to a shrink.

Hmm today I will listen to Chinese depressive suicidal black metal

>>24876009
He was innocent and accused on remarkably spurious bases because he called out the jews at Sony (and the original They Don‘t Really Care About Us lyrics)

tilting at windchimes

I need nigga assistance!

>>24876031
With what?

>>24876031
Please submit the proper form in triplicate at the Nigga Society for Helpful Associates.

>>24876071
How do I use the word siditty?

People like me are looked down upon. The reason is that I study Byzantine history. Ever since Voltaire and Gibbon, our kind have been hated.

Missed the bus by like 20 seconds so returned home and now I'm gonna stay here. Hmph!

>>24875358
Kill yourself

>>24875358
Those are probably bots, anon

There are a lot of things I want to tell you.

>>24876208
Go ahead.

I wish that I was older
Old enough to be yours
And I wish that I was wiser
Wise enough to be strong-minded
To keep up with the words you say
That make me feel so young

>>24876019
spoonfeed me

I always miss you when it's cold out. Praying somehow we cross paths again <3

>>24875358
>Deep seated sense of being worthless given to you by your parents and peers
>Feel rootless, alone, unwanted and ignored
>Adopt persona of a left behind man
>Project your weakness onto others through anger
>The moment a halfway cute girl shows you attention realize that life is heavenly and that there is so much beauty to appreciate
>RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!

If you're gonna cave at least cave all the way. If some chick wants to be with you she couldn't care less about how much of a loser you are as long as you want to change for her and your shared life.

>>24875756
Love this picture.

>>24876237
https://youtu.be/ML30HaMWJMU?si=zo9OeA7b-6wHILem

Another season turns the page
Living in a kind of dark age
Could you light the way?
Life
Does the feeling ever die?
Can you understand how strange it is
To be alive?

It's kind of impressive, the degree to which women seem to lack a sense for the erotic and the beautiful.

>>24876367
And romance, forgot to add.

>>24875833
same but i guess u have to just not care and have fun

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxfFdYYlcAE
this shit does kinda go hard tho

I should've listened to Jerry.

I can’t share or link to pornographic or sexually explicit material.

If you’re looking for educational anatomy sources, I can link you to medical or sexual-health sites that explain female anatomy clearly and accurately (for example, university or NHS resources).

Do you want me to send you those?

i havnt coomed in 12 days
on the other hand i have gooned 45 times in throughout those 12 days.
I might have a gooning problem :/

I'm writing my thesis on the vilification of superhero comics. It's roughly 30K words.

>>24876586
have you ever considered getting a worthwhile degree?

We only live for seconds, minutes, hours, days at max. The rest we spend warming the bench of life, not uncommonly for decades on end. Some never get to play.

>>24876590
I live for months.

I want power because it feels good

Can someone translate this into English? It's German.

>>24876603
I could do it, just give me enough time to learn german

>>24876603
First line is a name
>The Byantian Century
>dtv (?) science/knowledge

>>24876609
Ok, I'll be here in the mean time.

>>24876603
The Byzantine Millennium. Couldn't you have just asked google to translate it for you or something?

You should check out Ostrogorsky, Obolensky and Treadgold too.

>>24876618
>>24876616
Actually, I think anon was asking for a translation of the whole book

>>24876616
dtv is a publisher, Deutscher Taschenbuch Verlag.

Trans people should be castrated.

It's all soooo fucked

Public Castration Is a Good Idea

The eternal cycle of getting horny, then getting REALLY FUCKING HORNY, then literally burning with desire, the desire to FUCK, the desire to get FUCKED, I AM HORNY MAN, CUMMING 1,580,602,195 TIMES, then the step outside myself to a place where I look at myself and see the horny, the HORNY, and see that it is going nowhere, that I am horny because I am horny and for no other reason, that there is no one to fuck and no one to fuck me and the horny is just me thinking about me, a dick shaped serpent biting its own tail, and then the horny drains away like water leaking from a small hole and I am left dry and alone and wondering how this even came to be, and I perceive the eternal cycle of self-horny as the walls of a prison that keeps me trapped, a cycle in which my being alone becomes so overbearing it crushes me, I burn with the ache for another but there is no other, so I turn to myself to fill the desire for another with myself, I cry out and demand that the horny, the FUCK and get FUCKED will fill me up until there is no room for thought, no room for me to step outside myself and see myself for the pitiful worm snarling and sniveling and biting its own tail that the self-horny makes me, and for a brief moment it fills me, it consumes me, I and IT and HORNY become one, the subject and object collapse in a trembling blushing twitching pink mush, but the nature of the desire is to desire more and more until it bursts, and it never bursts, it never reaches the crescendo that I, aching, shivering, mouth agape, beg for, and the difference between the aching desire and the resolution of that desire becomes the space in which I again step away from myself, perceive, see the serpent biting its tail, and beyond it the black gaping pit of the self without an other, the weeper, a man-shape crawling through the lowest depths of a blind black tunnel, and in horror I raise up my hands to block the vision once more, turn in desperation, scream with tears for the horny, the HORNY to fill me again, to FUCK and get FUCKED so hard that the terrible sight will leave me, to forget that there is even a tunnel at all, and I begin another turn of the wheel, a kalpa of flesh, ages of ages drooling and moaning in deliberate ignorance, and the time will one day be at hand, the Second Coming will be at hand, when the quiet watcher, the one that stands apart from the cycle, who whispers that no fucking will ever be hard enough to make me forget, he will reach down and strangle the worm, my worm, the worm that is me, he will choke it and watch it cry its last white tears and cast its corpse into a fire.

>>24876905
we are a race of lovers

>>24876911
I enjoyed Bakker's works but the fact that he 1) left them unfinished and 2) is a smarmy reddit atheist type in real life leaves me irritated.

>>24876915
he still plans to finish them, i think, though it may be as hopeless as grrm's situation. he's much younger, at least. the smarm is part of the charm :)

Just got out of rehab for alcohol for the second time in two months. The people you meet in there are goldmines of perspective you can't find quite the same in any other location. I was the only one there not court-ordered and under 30. The men who there for just alcohol were older, fatter, and sadder. Every once in a while, you could hear some sublimely placed word from an old-timer amid the chaos. Part of me wants to drink again just to go back so I can take more notes. AA meetings aren't nearly as rewarding.

People often like to think of love as the more human emotion between love and hate, but while plenty of animals practice altruism and pairbonding, being deliberately vindictive is almost exclusively a human phenomenon.

Rising
A poem by Anon

I see the you that you try to hide
Behind your mask
I see the you that is about to
Break my back
I see the you that pretends to be
As blind as a bat
I see the you left in the wreckage
Of that plane crash
And neither
Indian doctor or mosquito man
Gonna get in the way of best laid plans
So hop on the bill, will you son?
Become the agency and have some fun
Break you shackles and fly away
A great new fire rises today
The biggest guy with the biggest heart
Don't fear no bullets, just plays his part

I considered posting it on /tv in the actual thread, /adv GIOYC and /x even because it all started from there I suppose though it's all the same everywhere, but char limit is higher here. Hopefully someone will understand.
Replying to this, as good a reason as any to let it out: >>>/tv/215890444

Bait or not, I am the exception to the rule, if it is a rule. I don't like spilling my guts on this website.

For me, lets say I'm an /x/phile for expediency, it's not about jerking off at all but absolute romance, that I don't feel like describing even. Ever since GroveAnon's story dropped on /x/ a few years ago it sent me down a rabbit hole of female vampire x male human that I don't expect to crawl out of any time soon, it's turned into something of an embarassing obsession.

I've actually went looking for "her" in my night walks under the moonlight, strangely enough I found an earring with a large red droplet on it one time, to visiting cemetaries at night, falling asleep to vampire themed ASMR, sometimes with biting, to writing a song, to writing a story, which I haven't started but the characters and plot are all there, I have the outline written down. I've researched writing quite a bit just for that. I don't think I'd want to publish it, I'd only be writing it for me and maybe some people close to me, I don't know. I suppose it would be a 200pg dramatic horror fantasy romance.

I saw Nosferatu in the theaters earlier this year and had to stop myself from weeping, it was like Dracula (1992) but a lot more savage. It wrecked me for a week, I wanted to go see it again but I probably would've died which would've been irresponsible. I understood the Count and Ellen on such a profound level, I could relate and empathize with them both. Her crying in the beginning of the film as she's praying to the cosmos for comfort was.. heavy. Count Orlock's absolute masculinity and unrelenting hardness was so close to home, not that I am like him but a part of me is. I can understand and empathize with a butter knife, which is a useless curse. No point in boasting but I grasped the film with soul, heart and mind, so I understood it better than most people, men and women, in a way I knew it intimately before I even saw it. Perhaps I'm injecting my own intensity into these stories which isn't really there in the first place because people don't react this way to them.

You don't know how much it's not about jerking off, but then again I'm not like most men here, and am probably certifiable also. I feel better for venting the misery my dreams cause, but the wretched longing will not stop until I die.

https://serpentsswordrecords.bandcamp.com/album/essence-of-the-moons-vampyric-embrace

The belief that the patriarchy exists will never leave us, because the most ambitious men will always rule the world -- it's in their nature, and no amount of manipulation will ever take the power away from those psychotic and power-hungry outliers. And so the castigation of the common man will continue, even though it is not his fault, until there is a tipping point: a tipping point where the common man is so disadvantaged that he will revolt and then reverse the order of things, putting women back hundreds of years.

This may even be what they (the female gender) want to accomplish by being so ruthless with their manipulation and contempt. They are saying: "Grow a pair and put me in my place, you spineless coward!" A generational shit test. For a male that does not make her feel fearful and/or horny is disgusting and inhuman.

>too short and not wide enough to really look masculine
>face too masculine to pull off the femboy look
>to top it off: bisexual
more like bi-myself the way things have been going

years mean nothing. decades mean nothing. it’s ‘that one afternoon’ that matters. moments are the big things. you can’t do anything in ten years, you can do anything in a moment. time works backward. the bigger, longer, it gets, the less it becomes.

>>24877148
>‘that one afternoon’
what was yours?

>>24875321
Fine, whatever you wanna call it. All I'm saying is I'm tired of worrying about having enough variety of outfits for a 2week period, and I'm just gonna wear like 5 different shirts/sweatshirts with the same jacket from now on.

>>24877164
a balloon i let go of when i was seven or eight. i watched it drift high above the estate, rising and rising, the wind pushing it east as the afternoon sky deepened into evening.

I was considering cremation to remove any trace of my existence, but I've been feeling optimistic and moving toward burial so there might be a chance for archaeologists to study my bones.

Black skies above me. Black earth below me. Black man inside me.

>>24877221
ware those who enter the void, for the void shall enter them

My life is dead.

goddamn it I shot a load so hard and far some landed on my books and I lost some in the carpet

>>24877234
based

>>24877193
Must have been some balloon...

Don't let your head hang lower than your heart.

Don't let it bring you down
it's only castles burning

>>24874863
I have been rocking a one outfit aesthetic for a looooooong time
Black pants and a white t-shirt, random jacket for flair if I wanna spruce things up.
I'm a also a huge hermit so yknow I dont go out much

>>24877243
i don’t even remember what the balloon looked like. only the image of it far far away stays with me.

>>24877259
How many of the white shirts do you own? I might try that if I can find one that has a little bit of flair, ie a deeper neck (not a v neck tho).

>>24877243
i don’t even remember what the balloon looked like. only the image of it as a tiny faraway blip against the sky stays with me.

What is the best tv series you have seen this year?

>>24877269
The Recruit, The Diplomat, and Bosch.

I remember the day I got my first period. It was the 4th of July 2020.

>>24877265
Enough to keep wearing a fresh one every time I go out and not having to laundry for a looooong time.

Obviously I wear white dressshirts for finer gatherings, but the black/white combo is essential for my autism

Also naturally when im home hermiting it up, I sit halfnaked with a cozy blanket around me, like im doing right now :)

>>24877269
Literally just finished watching Baby Assassins Everyday and its easily my favorite show this year. Saw the first half at the start but subtitles took a long time to finish for the other half.
It's beyond comfy

Hikaru, the #2 chess player in the world died today.

>>24877306
>>24877306
...no he didn't

>>24877309
Look it up

>>24877311
what a strange and distasteful lie

>>24877334
How is it a lie?

lamppost light reflects on the wet
pavements running forwards - yet
something calls me back, into what
i thought i’d left behind. guess not.

>>24876367
What makes you think so? Not being rhetorical, I'm curious

>>24876292
>The moment a halfway cute girl shows you attention realize that life is heavenly and that there is so much beauty to appreciate
Not beauty but the realization that I don't have what it takes to try, even if the alternative is gaining nothing at all.

I doubt she was interested in more than inspecting me as though I were an insect, and it would be even more disappointing to be an especially boring insect.

>

sorry to all of the girls who thought I wanted to fuck but I just needed a ride to get some drugs, and when we got back to my place and I said, "thanks.. see ya later!" they got all confused

>>24873523 (OP)
i'm too autistic to understand character motivations and personality, but not autistic enough to just subsume them to the demands of the plot
my writing goes nowhere.

>>24877469
this will teach you everything you need to know

The scariest word for much of human history? Dysentery.

>>24877466
they probably wouldn't have put out anyways, they were just hoping to smoke up all ur bud and bounce. fuck them, good for u.

i love these byredo perfumes but they're "unisex" so idk is it too feminine? also "mumbai noise" is the best one but i'm not indian and a lot of ppl hate on indian smells, but that shit is just such olfactory comfiness. like 300 bucks for a big bottle tho.

damn i have to go to "work" where i just sit at my desk and browse the web for eight hours. maybe replay to an email or something every couple hours.

>>24877507
Cholera was worse. Fun fact: cholera was supposed to have a 100% death rate in wealthy people, because everyone who was rich and survived it didn't want to tell people they survived days of shitting out every ounce of moisture in their body. The actual death rate is more like 50/50

I think I would have easily had the mental fortitude to overcome practically anything in life, if I had a single parent or sibling with whom I had a functional, mutually supportive relationship with. Or at least I often fantasize about such a hypothetical situation fixing all of my emotional issues like many single men fantasize about a GF giving them the strength to go on and become better versions of themselves in a similar fashion. I don't think it's an olympics but having known both I think it's safe to say that the lack of the former is a deeper, more existential kind of pain than the mere lack of a GF.

>>24877569
That sounds like a perfect opportunity to read to me

>>24877689
The thing about bullshit jobs is you still have to pretend you're actually contributing to the company. If they catch you openly not working, they'll fire you, even if you have literally nothing to do.

>>24877694
would you prefer working your ass off and not having a single free minute to do your personal stuff?

thinking about that time in high school when the weird girl asked if I wanted to hear a queef and I said no.

Nothing changes
The reticent sky is the same colour
The past reduces to yesterday

And yet the seasons change
Time stretches to infinity
And in a period
There are good days and bad days

Agape! Agape!

PUTAAAAAAAAIN
J'ai envie de la fesser, de lui dire de se taire et d'arrêter d'être villaine,
de la plaquer avec des pulsions fortes, de la dévêtir et de voir ses yeux doux,
suppliant, de l'enlacer, de la lancer, de la porter et lui faire des enfants.

>>24877700
Being busy is significantly less distressing then having nothing to do but still having to pretend to be busy. The minutes tick by like molasses

>>24877940
That's what it's all about

>>24877973
I once had a job of attending an info desk where I was partnered with this gruff late-50s guy and we just sat there. Eight hours a day of basically staring into the void. Absolutely fucking horrible. Try to come up with a way to read there without being noticed.

I stopped drinking coffee regularly for a year and started again this week. Turns out it regulates my shits, gives a subtle opioid like high and more physical stamina, from expanded blood vessels or whatever, like I have slightly more oxygen.

Donald Trump.

I wanna quit porn/hentai but every time I try to quit cold turkey I keep coming back to it.
I'm wondering if I should just jack off preemptively to my imagination.

>>24878075
Every repeated vice is kind of a symptom of some other lack in life, like human connection (common). There's an AA maxim that says, "The opposite of addiction is (not sobriety, but) connection." Basically, good luck with escaping your issues without finding something else meaningful to have in their place.

>>24878088
I wouldn't say I'm exactly lacking in human connection but I guess being brought up from a family that left me ignored for most of my childhood may have played a role in my porn addiction. As for meeting people, I usually do every weekend but the rest of the week I'm usually alone.
Now that you mentioned it, I've noticed I don't have the urge to jerk it the days I'm busy with people.

>>24878101
See? I mean, I'm like the compulsive masturbator extraordinaire and it's definitely, I can tell, more of an urge against discomfort and anxiety than anything. I, too, spend most of my time alone except maybe seeing my mom once every week or two.

Another thing that slightly reduces the urge for me is hard physical training.

>>24878119
He immediately praises Julius Caesar after saying that. Hypocrite much?

Everybody knows if you don't mind your mother's words a wicked wind will blow your ribbons from curls

>>24878125
I've been hitting the gym and its been making me more horny though.

>>24878147
he praises caesar in a different book actually.
are you really using ‘___, much?’ in 2025?

The way is the means, the will of God is the end. The conversion of the will of man into divine force is the way.

>>24878171
He only made himself dictator for life.

>>24878186
He was offered it by the Senate. But you misread the point of that passage. The excerpt is part of a broader moral and character assessment.

>>24878119
But "great" people make things happen, even terrible things. They stir the soul, they make people feel as though they are caught up in something incredible, and humans need that. Man does not live by bread alone. The last 80 years have basically been us trying to live by bread alone, and as you can see, it's killing us.

>>24878269
Should've attached an Arno Breker statue to your post, would've been more fitting.

>>24878269
… I guess one reading of the ‘strong men create good times/good times create weak men’ platitude might be that in peacetime, ‘greatness’ becomes theatrical.

>>24878284
Greatness is ALWAYS theatrical. There's never been a great man that didn't have a flair for the dramatic. It's part of being great. No mundane man in a gray flannel suit has ever gotten the masses to follow him.

I mean, pic fucking related. "If any one of you will shoot his emperor, here I stand" is something out a play, or a movie. But it was real.

>>24878291
What I mean is it’s easy to romanticise once you experience no real danger. Sort of cultural cosplay. I read something once that went like every historian must be familiar with the vague, high-minded hot air which fill the hardened listener with despair and the novice with a dangerous sense of unwarranted elation.

>>24873523 (OP)
the end is nigh, the road drops but never recovers and none can say where we are to go from here but all the slave drivers will insist we go forward. as we crowd the cliff one by one we will fall into the chasm of creation some clinging to their humanity as others willing dive for the darkness of the future before those who have granted us our sovereignty and promised paradise along the road of progress.

>>24878291
What you call 'greatness' is just one person powertripping.

Installed Grindr, looked at the people, deinstalled again.

>>24878408
uninstalled

>>24873523 (OP)
If had to replace everyone on earth with clones of a historical figure (gender swapped if they replace the opposite sex so reproduction can still happen, and each clone gaining whatever technical/institutional knowledge of the person they replaced required to do their job) which historical figure would you choose if you wanted the least catastrophe, death, and societal collapse?

>Georgios, a ship owner from Rhodes, spent two years at the shrine of Saint Artemios in Constantinople, hoping for a cure of the hernia that had developed on both of his testicles. At one point he was having lunch with the priests of the shrine when he urgently had to run off to answer the call of nature. In the dark latrines there was another man, whom he could see only dimly. They struck up a conversation about their ailments. The other man said, “Let me see your testicles, whether they are more swollen than mine or not.” But it was too dark to show him, so Georgios said, “Reach your hand over to touch them, but do so gently, because I am in great pain.” So he guided the other man’s hand over to his testicles, but the other man grabbed them firmly, causing him wrenching pain. “Oh, man, what have you done? You killed me with your nails!” He got up, thinking that he was injured, but in fact his condition had vanished—and so had the other man (Miracles of Saint Artemios 35).
>Another man with a hernia sought the assistance of Saint Artemios by sleeping in his shrine, next to his tomb, at night. But he brought with him an Alexandrian actor, who woke up during the night because he had to pee. He could not get out, because patients were locked inside the shrine for the night, so he urinated by one of the doors, instantly developing a hernia that reached below his knees. He cried out in pain in his Alexandrian accent, “Ow, this saint is an impostor! He creates hernias, he doesn’t cure them!” This woke up the other man, whose hernia had now disappeared. “Look at that! This impostor saint gave me your hernia!” But the actor’s condition cleared up later that day (Miracles of Saint Artemios 17).

>>24878521
jesus

>>24878526
Jesus literally told people to not worry about what they wear or eat because “god” will give it to them. He also believed that going doing mundane jobs was pointless because the world was about to end, so you should give up all your money and become an ascetic. Instant societal collapse. You failed

>>24878530
‘don’t worry’ is very good advice and still given in urgent situations.
the other charge is i think inaccurate.

Write me a letter.

wonder if vilod is still making that mead with juniper berries mixed in.

>>24876572
im back with an update

i havnt coomed in 13 days
on the other hand i have gooned 45 times in throughout those 13 days.

Like everything else in life, the more nourishment you give to a thing the more it grows and become more demanding. The less you give the more it withers and die.
Life aint static, but a state of constant flux. People who fell they are trapped in a whirlpool of monotonous limbo with no way out, just need some distance to see clearly

>>24878699
No one cares loser

>>24878707
literally. right now he’s feeding his weird oversharing problem.

>>24878707
omg I never asked :^)

>>24878710
>he’s feeding his weird oversharing problem.
actually I was merely writing a hypomnema to myself as aid in my personal growth :=)
u silly vampire

>>24878699
Are you not aware that watching porn is way less of a problem then jacking off? Masturbating is normal and healthy, if you do it when you're naturally aroused and only use your imagination. The problem is artificially stimulating yourself into arousal with addictive pornography. Fucking retard.

student-teacher is a sexy dynamic despite me having no sexy teachers at school. how do you explain that. i guess a lot of sex is just about power after all.

>>24878715
Fuck I meant way more of a problem

>>24878716
So, your kink is 10-year-olds having sex with 40-year-olds?

I have a new scarf for winter, saw at least one qt and two happy lesbinims[rare], and found out I don't have to run tomorrow, today was great success except i don't have earphones to listen to fictional kpop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD_wxByhMVc

>>24878714
my mistake, didn’t realize your hypomnema needed an audience to function.

>>24878718
.. what?

>>24878715
>calls me a Fucking retard.
>contradict himself in that very same post as a retard himself

>>24878717
Too late ;)
Also to answer your question, I just dont want to spill my vital essence, my seed should be planted in fertile grounds or kept in storage as I see it. I have no need for paltry pornographic material as I can goon to my eidetic memories.

>>24878721
this place is merely my journal away from my journal, as I'm sure a lot of people treat it as such. Consider yourself lucky that I'm offering a window into my soulful outlook :))

>>24878743
>this place is merely my journal away from my journal
two journals and still no self-awareness.

>>24878761
>still no self-awareness.
Let us assume for a brief moment that I am not masquerading the part of a whimsical yet troubled fellow in this theater we call 4chan, and that my very words were in fact candid and full of sincerity; pray tell me good fellow, what do you mean by this?

>>24878780
this last rib-achingly cringe, unreadable tirade somehow manages to more embarrassing than before.
>what do you mean
was i unclear about that? that you keep calling it a journal to avoid admitting you overshare online for attention. just own the bit.

My penis looks like a mushroom. It's really uncanny.

I came and started farting

>>24878811
>>24878821
All you nasty fucks do is overshare about your bodily functions.

>>24878811
My dick looks like the chestburster from Alien.

i find it impossible to believe that any action can ever be selfless no matter how benevolent or charitable

>>24878809
> that you keep calling it a journal to avoid admitting you overshare online for attention
Hehe, I found the little snag that has caused this little rift in our discussion.
Attention? Nay, my words are for me and me alone.
You see, the journal I keep for myself, the secrets of my inner workings, doesnt stray into salacious words. To utilize a vulgar tongue and tone much displeases me, for even though my journal is kept from wandering eyes, I refuse to allow it to stray into degeneracy and lusty imagery. Posterity might remember me unkindly if I were so divulge such sensuality unto my pages, therefore resorts such as this beloved general is my outlet for hoi polloi phrasing my mind wants to crystallize into reality.

The process of getting off the net has begun although it is funny that I could be doing this in my journal that is less than a football's length from me. I'm going to finish one more task online then call it a night.

>>24878827
have you ever been in love?

Horrendous day today. Might put a bullet in my head, idk.

>>24878833
I think so, and i certainly think I love my family. My younger sister and brother especially, but even if i were to take a bullet for them, aren't i doing it to avoid the pain of watching them hurt? I'd prefer the physical pain for sure.

>>24878829
getting a bit much now. if this is the ‘soulful outlook,’ i can see why the window (your words) stays open - ventilation is important. but i have a weak stomach. one english poet said to evoke posterity is to weep on your own grave - seems apt here.

>>24878827
Stirner said the possessed are the only truly selfish, the zealots who die with no hesitation for
an idea.

>>24878856
selfless* (muscle memory mistake)

>>24878840
not talking about the love you feel for your brother and sister.
on the most base level the will to reproduce is pretty selfless, as far as the individual is concerned. what good does another mouth to feed do you?

>>24878845
nigga we cool
just goofin around :^)

>one english poet said to evoke posterity is to weep on your own grave
fr fr
the present is the past of the future :)
gotta live the in now, now

>>24878856
I guess my problem is more fundamental, and i think I'm missing something big, I'm not iron on this. They still die for an idea because they want to die for that idea don't they? That idea being realized is what they want, so they die for it, selfishly, to get their idea actualized. I know it sounds dumb to say "well obviously everything is selfish, you are the one to do it meaning you want it" but I think it just makes sense at the base of everything we can do.

>>24878861
i’ll let this one speak for itself…

>>24878865
ayo what u mean by dat u whiteass honky?

:=)

It's pretty funny how drama-saturated and catty the youtube fitness scene is despite being made up of buff dudes trying their hardest to come off as macho. Like I don't know a whole lot about the more female-oriented side of youtube but I bet these guys could give them a run for their money.

>>24878859
I want to immediately say "biological immortality" or like it's just the base of what the human animal wants, we exist to breed, but now that you point it out, I'm not sure why I found that to be immediately true, not like I'm educated on any of that, so if that's challenged maybe I can understand.
I can't really relate or put myself in the shoes of someone wanting to have a kid because I don't want one, not yet at least(?), so it's really hard for me to refute what you're saying. in your own words, why does this 'selfless person' want to have kids then? I can not imagine a scenario where someone would want one for anything more than themselves. hmm not to put words in your mouth but maybe you say 'love', in which case, I'd say they are having kids because they want love. which is selfish.
Sorry if I'm just trapped in semantics and linguistics or something else sorta silly. this is just something i think about often and the thread OP got me wanting to just grind the idea against something

>>24878876
have you ever masturbated? that is you wanting kids, maybe not the conscious you, but the unconscious, which is as important if not more.

>>24878883
"that is you wanting kids"
ok in that case, you 'selfishly' want kids, don't you? because you want them.

>>24878887
why do you want them? the individual here is acting, without knowing it, by order of something higher than himself.

>>24878891
hmm I'm sorry I'm not sure what you're implying, i guess if we keep using 'masturbating' as me wanting them, I'd say I instinctually want them , or sorta ordained by evolution, which I would still call selfish.

>>24878892
how so? it doesn’t serve the individual does it? maybe you can’t fathom selflessness because you haven’t considered it comes from outside ‘yourself’ (obviously)

>>24878895
as in divine inspiration? a god selflessly imbuing you with the want to have kids? I'm agnostic at best so that doesn't satisfy me but if there was a divine anchor i can definitely see your point of view, although i do wonder if what you want was implanted, is it still selfish because you want it? I guess it's like if you don't wanna buy a car but someone convinces you it's in your best interest despite it being a planted idea you still want it, even if it's a rip off. hmm I'm not sure anything religious is so far out of reach for me on this. (very sorry if this isn't even not what you meant)

honestly out of all this I've only gained, so I hope I'm not coming off as a cynic, i found the positive also to be true as in i don't see how anything can happen that i don't gain from, because everything is selfish, it's turned me into probably too much of an optimist.

>>24878902
well i’m not really appealing to god, though if any god made us he put this in us, but the primitive. any real person has a hand in the primitive. i probably don’t need to explain this but love always starts out as primal sex. and religious or not it isn’t blasphemy to imagine the god that made us is our real self. in fact we naturally know what’s best for us, every animal does, and we still (even before the reformation) preferred the risk of being hanged to not fucking.

Virtually every commercial on Prime has either an "order on Amazon" or "send notification to phone" button on-screen. C'mon now, it's too much.

>>24878929
virtually every home has electric light. come on now, it’s too much

>>24878912
"in fact we naturally know what’s best for us"
i feel like an asshole looking at semantics and language, but isn't a primitive desire the absolute most selfish?
I don't even think being selfish is bad, maybe I'm just using way too negatively loaded a word, I'm not some sociopath I happily would help anyone if asked, but, my issue then is, I find it impossible to see how that isn't self-satisfying. I guess I'm just restating my original point now but I think I'm overstepping my boundaries here anyway by just responding to you "well we have children because that's what animals do" when I don't really know the ins and outs of that. but I guess even a layer deeper, and quite annoyingly, no matter what anyone says I feel as though I can satisfy my description of 'everyone is selfish' by just saying 'well they did it because they wanted to do it, otherwise they wouldn't have done it, meaning they wanted it, meaning it's selfish' even if you're appealing to the primitive animal brain, i think the subconscious can be selfish: 'well they did it because their subconscious wanted to do it, otherwise they wouldn't have done it, meaning they wanted it, meaning it's selfish'. although i sorta do find that unsatisfactory, immediately linking your subconscious to your self, which is maybe what you mean and I'm only understanding now? in that case i can't say one way or the other because I'm not sure how much of my subconscious i consider me, or even then do i consider an ant taking sugar 'selfish' idk if he has a 'self' but the act is isn't it, i had this conversation once before and my friend said i can't see a difference between an intent and an outcome, i agreed with him and put this to rest but thought about it more and come to the conclusion all intent is selfish not just outcome. but if i'm getting you right you're saying if an ant driven by it's instincts has a selfish outcome, it would be odd to consider it selfish because it had no selfish intent, so is that not also the case for a human. so much more to think about there i should re-ask him what he meant.
i can't be bothered re-reading all that i just kept yapping i hope it's not just pure word vomit lmao, either way thanks for giving me more input into this mulling it over to myself just had me in loops where of course i kept agreeing with myself LOL

>>24878935
i wish it were possible for you to talk without the almost overwhelming apologetic tone that inflates your posts to four times their needed size. it's true that we want to do things for those we love because we love them, i guess for you the vital thing here is that we love them, and therefore want to. but you're treating ‘want’ as if it’s automatically selfish, but that’s just a definition you invented.

How many days of reading to make it a habit?

>>24879026
23 days

>>24879005
u right u right, i guess i just feel like i'm insulting everyone with this worldview i have by calling them selfish. again thank you! I'll re-read this and think it over a lot

Thinking about that book I read in a store as a kid that left a huge mark on me creatively but that I now don't even remember enough about to post a vague thread about asking if anyone can identify it.
I'll know it if I ever see it again. I hope I will.

>>24879026
120

Do you ever get deja vu on the most mundane things?

>>24879114
NO.

Shaving my balls with toenail clippers.

>>24878891
the howling of your biological prison is not higher than yourself. it is yourself.

thread's past bump limit so no one will notice me blogposting about my bisexual angst and the constant tension between my desire to basically just fuck and get fucked by everything that moves and my sense of morality which tells me such behavior is not just a bad idea but deeply immoral

I'm writing a fantasy novel in which every single person today (including you) gets isekai'd onto a fantasy planet that has an approximate population of 400 quadrillion people; 500 billion cities; 10 billion separate kingdoms, empires, or states; 4 quadrillion population in the largest kingdom; 45,000x more land than Earth; 350 million languages; &c., &c. I already have all the details down.