>“Your Highness, it is my duty to inform you that the particular species of phoenix that Philomena is a member of has become endangered.”
>“Under the authority provided to me by the Endangered Species Act of 957, you are hereby ordered to surrender your pet bird to be released back into the Everfree.”

>>42261931 (OP)
>"Shut the fuck up you dumb bitch I'm Princess Celestia I can do whatever the fuck I want."

Philomena is part of a licensed repopulation program with Anon, mudhorse

>We’re in a real pickle, Princess!
>Not a single eligible bachelor Phoenix can be found anywhere!
>Research shows we could probably get Philomena pregnant with some kind of bald monkey sperm… but I don’t know where in Equestria we could find a creature like that!
>…Princess?

>>42262117
Dr. Fauna has a nice butt.

>>42262117
>Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

>>42262147
>Phoenixes can regenerate from any damage
>It doesn't matter how rough you are
>Philomena can handle it
>In fact she prefers it when you fuck her to literal death

>>42262212
Then I guess it’s even better if conservation efforts were underway for them, lest they literally go the way of the dodo.

Isn’t it a good thing that they’re endangered? If they can’t be killed they’ll overrun Equestria in a couple generations

>>42262147
but aren't they... hot? i mean on fire hot? will burn your dick to crisp hot?

>>42263241
She can sit on pony’s heads. They’re not on fire, that would be retarded

>>42261931 (OP)
>>42262058
>>42262104
what if barack obama was in equestria guys would be barackin all over the place

>>42263241
Remember Harry Potter, Anon. Phoenix tears heal you. In Equestria that's also true, but it extends to all of their bodily fluids. It's why sex with a sufficiently aroused Phoenix is goddamn heavenly, since you get to feel your dick burn and be healed at the same time. It's a sensation you can't get anywhere else.

The ponice dont wear pants how you can take them seriously as law officials.

>>42263325
I think I remember this exact mistake happening in some sort of kid’s show on TLC or something.

>>42262792
How would they overrun Equestria? They are not rabbits.

>>42263447
>oblivion flame atronach crying lava, pointing at a smug Philomena
>"How am I supposed to compete with THAT?!"

>>42264101
can’t kill them because they always come back, they’re capable of reproduction as we see. Why haven’t they overrun equestria?

>>42264422
But if they live forever, do they have a need to reproduce, or at least a need to reproduce as much as humans or ponies do?

>>42262058
What makes you think she is above the law?

>A bright flash of light occurs.
<“Who called my name?”
<“Oh. Is there a problem, officer?”

>>42265169
>nohooves
yuck

>>42264771
>above the law
She IS the law

>>42265879
LAAAAAAAAAAAAW

>>42264771
her height

>>42265784
But yet you didn't call out
>>42262147
>>42263447
zootranny

>>42264771
The Magna Colta.

>>42265879
What makes you think so?

>>42263447
>feel your dick burn and be healed at the same time
YOU THINK THE MATRIARCH OF THE SUN IS NOT CAPABLE OF SUCH THINGS WITH HER GLORIOUS DRIPPING MAREPUSSY?

>>42267136
not really

>>42262104
But why would she buy this?

>>42267136
And would any unicorn?

>10

>>42267131
>"Are you saying that I, Princess Celestia, the all-powerful ruler of Equestria, am not the law?"
>"Would you like to go to the moon?"

>>42270497
“OK, that’s it. You are under arrest for violating the Endangered Species Act and for assaulting a peace officer.”