>I love you anon, which is why I need to confess a secret I’ve been keeping from you.
>I’m the one who gave you a kidney stone.
>Me and Pinkie Pie put little trace amounts of sugar and salt in all of your food for months.
>Then after you pushed it out and spent hours in pain I collected the stone and put it in my “special” rock collection.
>I’m sorry.

I’ve secretly been smearing frosting on your ponut while you’re asleep and licking it off for my own enjoyment. Im sorry too. Now were even.