How do I get this?

>>42268988 (OP)
you first have to be not OP which you have failed since you're a cock sucking faggot

>>42268988 (OP)
You have to hit yourself on the head with a hammer at just the right angle and speed to get to Equestria

>>42268988 (OP)
Sorry faggot, you can't because that's my wife and she's right here on my side.

>>42268988 (OP) rope and ceiling spell

Step one is to post extremely high-quality, positive and friendship-affirming threads and posts on /mlp/. You need to do this for as long as possible. Then, on the off chance that Twilight Sparkle decides to look at our world and see your posts, she'll say 'wow, that seems like a creature I could get along with'.
Then you just need to become good friends with her, build up mutual respect and comfort, and then finally approach the issue of personal intimacy and see if she's comfortable snuggling with you. If you do all that, you can have picrel!
Alternatively you can just hope to make it to Equestria and hope she's inexplicably interested in you without any effort on your part.

>>42268988 (OP)
Buy a lifesize. ERC is great.