I felled asleep.
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>>42253462 IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
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>Be Anonymous.
>Be in Ancient Equestria.
>Everybody else out worshiping Celestia or Luna or Discord or something.
>You worship The Great Grape. Everyone laughs at you, but they don't know why your faith is so strong.
>Your God talks to you.
>Even when you don't want her to.
>A knock comes from your door.
"Oh great..."
>You rise to your feet, open the door, and who should be standing there swaying while the griffins from Her chariot shit on your fucking lawn?
"Hello, Lady Berrysus." you mutter.
>"AAHHHH-*HIC*-HHHNOOOOOON~...HOW'S M'FAVORITE ACACOLYTE, BUDS?"
>She sways to one side, almost losing Her balance.
>With practiced speed, you dive down and hold her up.
"AAAAAAWWWWWW, THA'S THA -*HIC*- SHTUFF I SPECT FR'M MY NUMBER ONE PRIEST, WOOOOO!" Berrysus shouts as she holds her chalice high before tossing her head back and downing the contents.
"I...live to serve you, Lady Berrysu-"
>"SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH! SH SH SH SH SH!"
>She paps her hoof on your mouth a few times as She shushes you.
"Ano-Anon. Sshhh. Don' talk. I-I need to tell you somefing..."
>You look into her magenta eyes.
>"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII luf you, 'Nonymous. I luv you a whooooooole lot."
>You feel your cheeks redden.
"L-lady Berry-
>"GIB US A KISSY, AHNON!"
>Berrysus throws her chalice behind her and proceeds to make out...
>...with your eye.
>As She glides her tongue over your eyelid, you try to calm her down.
"Uhhm, Miss Berrysus, I think tha-"
>*hurk!*
>What?
>You look her in the eye long enough to catch her bringing her hooves to her mouth a second too late as the wine colored vomit comes rocketing out of her.
>It shoots out with such force that you're thrown against the wall at the rear of your house.
>When your vision clears, you see Berrysus passed out on the floor.
>She pissed herself.
>Fucking drunk Gods.
>You are Anonymous.
>It's been three years since the accident took your arms and required you to have chainsaws grafted to the stumps.
>You try to make the best of it.
>You have a job clearing space in the Everfree Forest, but you don't have too many friends.
>No one will Brohoof you when you have chainsaws for arms.
>It feels bad.
>Heading back to town, you see your Bro Rainbow Dash.
>Hey! She'll bump you one!
"Hey! Rainbow!" you call.
>She looks down at you quizzically.
"Bump me!"
>Her eyes drift over the rusty chains and the bits of wood stuck out of it and her face contorts in horror.
>She flies off without a word and leaves your heart broken.
>You get low, low enough to just want to end it.
>You try to saw off your own head, but your stumpy arms can't reach.
>God your life sucks.
>>42302615>Be Anon.>You aim to misbehave.>You were invited to Canterlot Castle to meet the Princesses, but man fuck that.>You snuck off the tour group and made your way to the archives.>Time for some mo'fuggin' anarchy.>You re-arange the library so that it's out of alphabetical order.>Then you uncalibrate the Astrolabe. >You tip over potted plants and leave streaks on windows.>Your name get's scratched onto tables.>The royal bathroom stalls get racist graffiti written on them.>Discord would be so proud.>So so pro->"Anonymous?""WHOASHITWHAT!?"
>You whirl around and come face to face with Princesses Celestia and Luna.>They overlook your handiwork with annoyed faces. "Wha-what happened here!?">Uhhhhh...>"It looks like a tornado came through...">UHHHHHHHHHH...>"Anonymous...did -you- do this?">UUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH SHIT FUCK.>You turn and dash to the window, leaping through into the bushes below."I'msorryIcanfixitlaterthankyou!"
>You might have gone overboard with the plants.
>>42302602 (OP)actual previous thread was
>>42301382
>You are Anonymous.
>You are hanging with your best bro Rainbow Dash.
>It was a hot summer day and Celestia was letting the sun practically roast you alive.
>You're sitting with your feet in a little inflatable pool while Rainbow does tricks in the sky above.
>She pulls off a particularly daring stunt and lands down next to you.
>"Hah! How'd you like that, Anon?"
"It was pretty good." you say not removing your shades.
>She rolls her eyes.
"For a filly." you finish.
>"Oh yeah? What do YOU want to do."
>You mull it over in your head a bit.
"Hey. Bro."
>"Hmm?"
"Know what time it is?"
>"Uhh...12:15?"
"Nope. It's Shirtless O' Clock."
>You stand from your chair and yank your shirt off, tossing it over a nearby tree-branch.
"WOOO! THAT FEELS GREAT!" you shout.
>It was nice to cool off.
>You glance over and see Rainbow with eyes the size of pinpricks and wings sticking straight out.
"Uh...you okay, bro?"
>She turns her redenning face away and stumbles over her hooves.
>"Uh...y-yeah, Anon. I'm j-j-just gonna head home for a bit." she says before running away.
>...
"Y-you too..."
>>42302618Nothing of value was kost
