I'm told the board got spammed or some shit so now I have to remake the thread in autistic detail.
Last thread >
>>42253462 IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
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>rope's HD remastered thread archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0>If a pastebin link is broken you can copy the string at the end of the url of a poneb.in link so pastebin.com/mVG33ERXbecomes https://poneb.in/mVG33ERX>PiE Corner>Remember to tag all PiE Stories.PiE Author List: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNy
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>Be Anonymous.
>Be in Ancient Equestria.
>Everybody else out worshiping Celestia or Luna or Discord or something.
>You worship The Great Grape. Everyone laughs at you, but they don't know why your faith is so strong.
>Your God talks to you.
>Even when you don't want her to.
>A knock comes from your door.
"Oh great..."
>You rise to your feet, open the door, and who should be standing there swaying while the griffins from Her chariot shit on your fucking lawn?
"Hello, Lady Berrysus." you mutter.
>"AAHHHH-*HIC*-HHHNOOOOOON~...HOW'S M'FAVORITE ACACOLYTE, BUDS?"
>She sways to one side, almost losing Her balance.
>With practiced speed, you dive down and hold her up.
"AAAAAAWWWWWW, THA'S THA -*HIC*- SHTUFF I SPECT FR'M MY NUMBER ONE PRIEST, WOOOOO!" Berrysus shouts as she holds her chalice high before tossing her head back and downing the contents.
"I...live to serve you, Lady Berrysu-"
>"SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH! SH SH SH SH SH!"
>She paps her hoof on your mouth a few times as She shushes you.
"Ano-Anon. Sshhh. Don' talk. I-I need to tell you somefing..."
>You look into her magenta eyes.
>"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII luf you, 'Nonymous. I luv you a whooooooole lot."
>You feel your cheeks redden.
"L-lady Berry-
>"GIB US A KISSY, AHNON!"
>Berrysus throws her chalice behind her and proceeds to make out...
>...with your eye.
>As She glides her tongue over your eyelid, you try to calm her down.
"Uhhm, Miss Berrysus, I think tha-"
>*hurk!*
>What?
>You look her in the eye long enough to catch her bringing her hooves to her mouth a second too late as the wine colored vomit comes rocketing out of her.
>It shoots out with such force that you're thrown against the wall at the rear of your house.
>When your vision clears, you see Berrysus passed out on the floor.
>She pissed herself.
>Fucking drunk Gods.
>It was a cool April morning and you were out in town.
"Dude, they're fine."
>"They are SO not "fine"! Everyone's staring!"
"Oh come on."
>You grab Ram Rod by the horns and drag him out of his house.
>Sure enough, everyone looks at the Earth Pony with the huge ram horns.
>"A-anon! You douche!" Ram stammers out.
>Ram's dad was the same species as his namesake, he had always been ostracized growing up over his additions.
>That was partially why you and he were bros, kinship between weirdos, you guess.
"Well fuck them, man! They can sit and spin!"
>You march over to one mare, Berry Punch you think, and get in her face.
"What is it Berry!? You here to make fun of my friend for something he can't control?"
>You shove her a bit.
"Better to have ram horns that he was born with then to be the town drunk!"
>Berry doesn't meet your gaze and continues to stare at Ram, that hits your trigger.
"GGRRRR. WHY DON'T YOU CHECK YOUR BUCKING PRIVILEGED, BERRY!?"
>Berry finally forms some words, but they really weren't what you expected.
>"If his horns are that big...I wonder what else is~..."
>...
>...What.
>You turn back and look at Ram Rod, his normally blue coat is now beat red around his cheeks.
>"...Maybe these aren't so bad." he mutters.
>Be Anon.
>You aim to misbehave.
>You were invited to Canterlot Castle to meet the Princesses, but man fuck that.
>You snuck off the tour group and made your way to the archives.
>Time for some mo'fuggin' anarchy.
>You re-arange the library so that it's out of alphabetical order.
>Then you uncalibrate the Astrolabe.
>You tip over potted plants and leave streaks on windows.
>Your name get's scratched onto tables.
>The royal bathroom stalls get racist graffiti written on them.
>Discord would be so proud.
>So so pro-
>"Anonymous?"
"WHOASHITWHAT!?"
>You whirl around and come face to face with Princesses Celestia and Luna.
>They overlook your handiwork with annoyed faces. "Wha-what happened here!?"
>Uhhhhh...
>"It looks like a tornado came through..."
>UHHHHHHHHHH...
>"Anonymous...did -you- do this?"
>UUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH SHIT FUCK.
>You turn and dash to the window, leaping through into the bushes below.
"I'msorryIcanfixitlaterthankyou!"
>You might have gone overboard with the plants.
>You are Anonymous.
>You are hanging with your best bro Rainbow Dash.
>It was a hot summer day and Celestia was letting the sun practically roast you alive.
>You're sitting with your feet in a little inflatable pool while Rainbow does tricks in the sky above.
>She pulls off a particularly daring stunt and lands down next to you.
>"Hah! How'd you like that, Anon?"
"It was pretty good." you say not removing your shades.
>She rolls her eyes.
"For a filly." you finish.
>"Oh yeah? What do YOU want to do."
>You mull it over in your head a bit.
"Hey. Bro."
>"Hmm?"
"Know what time it is?"
>"Uhh...12:15?"
"Nope. It's Shirtless O' Clock."
>You stand from your chair and yank your shirt off, tossing it over a nearby tree-branch.
"WOOO! THAT FEELS GREAT!" you shout.
>It was nice to cool off.
>You glance over and see Rainbow with eyes the size of pinpricks and wings sticking straight out.
"Uh...you okay, bro?"
>She turns her redenning face away and stumbles over her hooves.
>"Uh...y-yeah, Anon. I'm j-j-just gonna head home for a bit." she says before running away.
>...
"Y-you too..."
If a buncha EQGfags shit up the board again I'm gonna crash out.
>>42304645 (OP)fell off the board again award
>>42304756There was a spammer, other threads were trying to hang on too.
>>42304881>Another miserable fucking day in Eternal High School>If somebody had asked you what Hell was like before you showed up here?>Yeah, you would have said it was this."Go through the portal, they said!"
"You'll get to hang out with cute ponies, they said!"
>"Hurry up, anon, you're going to be late for class!""FUCK YOU!"
>>42305380That just means you have all the time in the world to mold Canterlot High into Cromartie High
reposting some old green of my favorite pony while i work on new material and to help keep the thread alive
>Cold caresses you from all sides, buffeted only partially by the fuzzy duvet tucked neatly around your limbs.
>Your eyes slowly come open, crusted over by a visit from the sandman.
>A mostly-dark bedroom greets you, dimly lit by the sleepy blue sunlight of an early morning creeping in from behind the curtains.
>You shift slightly, searching your sea of blankets for any sense of warmth that can relieve you from the frost nipping at your extremities.
>A great, shuddering yawn takes you suddenly, and your morning breath is ejected, thankfully, out and away from you.
>You continue to twist and turn, searching for that fabled heat that winter had supposedly snatched away while you slumbered.
>The Equestrian winter had hit hard this year, and its fury must have reached its peak in the middle of the night.
>Eventually, though, you do find that patch of warmth.
>Hiding among the mess of sheets and covers, a spot you had supposedly moved from is still radiating comfort.
>It calls to you.
>“Come on over,” it says.
>“Five more minutes won’t hurt, Anon.”
>Its offer is too strong to resist.
>With great effort, you roll your tired body over, wrapping yourself up in the duvet in the process.
>Holy shit, that’s nice.
>Although you’re now a burrito, the warmth is potent enough to seep through the fabric and turn your bodily housing into an oven.
>The soothing comfort is enough to add a couple of pounds to your eyelids, and in your current state, you’ve nary any strength to fight their fall.
>Your eyes close again, and the blackness overtakes all.
>Senses begin to fade one by one, but…
>Wasn’t there something you were supposed to be doing today?
>After a few seconds of thought, you decide that no, you did not have anything to do on Hearth’s Warming.
>Not until later, anyway. You didn’t need to be ready for that party for several hours, though, so you don’t feel bad about getting some extra winks in.
>As your thoughts fade into whispers of nothing, your breathing slows, and-
>She’s coming over.
>You’re thrown from your near-slumber as violently as possible.
>How could you have forgotten?
>With great haste, you fling your mountain of covers off of you, practically flying out of bed as you make a mad dash to your bathroom.
>As fast as you’ve ever gone, you throw on deo, cologne, and brush the absolute hell out of your teeth.
>With fresh pits and whites as pearly as snow (thank you Minuette), you rush back into your room and look for a decent ensemble of clothes.
>Hastily, you withdraw an adequate looking outfit.
>More than likely unfit for socializing with a princess, but it’ll have to do.
>You begin your rush back to the bathroom. Judging by the light from your curtains, you probably still have time to freshen up with a shower.
>Maybe, if you hurry, you can even-
>>42305905>Three knocks upon your front door catch your attention as you go to close the bathroom door.>You freeze in place.>Surely that isn’t her. She’s an early bird, yeah, but /this/ early?>She’s only done that once or twice, and she had let you know prior both times.>Still - she’s the only one who has any reason to be here at this hour.>You swallow a lump in your throat as you head for the front door, clad in your messy hair and wrinkled sleepwear.>You shiver slightly as you move through the chilly, stagnant air, morphing around you as its slumber is disturbed in a manner similar to yours.>Before long, you’ve crossed the decidedly compact living room.>You come to rest just before the front door, hand hovering above the knob.>Breathe, Anon.>One twist and you’ll find out if it’s her.>She’s never seen you fresh out of bed.>Agh, you must look a mess right now. Maybe it’s better to leave it shut?>Schrodinger’s pony, and all that.>Whoever’s on the other side will be neither here nor there if you just… wait until you’re done getting ready.>A renewed set of knocks, however, forces your hand, which comes to rest on the doorknob.>You give it a hearty twist, pulling the door open to the cold outside as you do so.>A frigid wind billows inside, drying your eyes as the sunrise on this side of the house does its best to melt your irises.>You give ‘em a good ol’ rub, blinking a few times to reacquire some sort of impaired vision.>When your eyes decide to stop being complete pushovers, you understand why you went temporarily blind.>Wherever you look, the town is blanketed by freshly fallen snow; rooftops, walkways, lawns, patios - nothing is spared.>It’s all you can do to squint until your eyes are barely open.>In front of you, among the sea of icy white, a form begins to take shape.>It giggles at you before you can quite make out who it is.>“Good morning, Anon!”>…>Well, shit.>You pray to anyone who’s listening that you at least look somewhat alright.>Maybe she’ll go for the whole disheveled thing?“Hey, Cel!”
>Dear God, even your voice is hoarse as hell.>Pun intended, of course.>Before she can awkwardly dance around the obvious, you decide to nip the situation in the bud as best as you can.“Sorry about, uh… looking like this. I didn’t know you were gonna be over so early.”
>“There’s no need to apologize, Anon,” she reassures, her voice a fair degree warmer than the weather.>“If anything, I should be apologizing for not letting you know sooner. It’s a bit unbecoming of a princess to show up unannounced, isn’t it?”>Her guilt comes easy, even over the littlest things. You’ll never understand why.“Doesn’t count in this case.”
>Her polite grin turns into a mischievous smirk.>“Oh? And why is that?”“‘Cause I don’t see a crown on that pretty little head of yours, miss.”
>It’s true - she’s here in casual winter wear.
>>42305905>>42305906green sucks ass, try harder next time
>>42305906>Well, ‘casual’ might not be the best descriptor.>Her ethically sourced fur-collar coat and scarf combo stands leagues above your tussled PJs in terms of style.>Come to think of it, Rarity will probably beat you over the head if she finds out you answered the door for royalty in rags.>Or not. She sorta dotes on you like an older brother.>Celestia hums in approval of your compliment, breaking your train of thought.>“I suppose you’re right,” she replies. “It would’ve been ill-suited for a gathering of dear friends.”“In that case, it’s settled. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, Cel.”
>You frown, deciding your previous sentence isn’t quite sufficient.“I mean, you wouldn’t even if you /did/ have your crown. I just- yeah, you know what I mean.”
>A sigh from your nostrils blows steam into the air.>What a wordsmith you are, Anon.“Can you tell that I just woke up?”
>She giggles openly, her body tensing with subdued laughter as her eyes scan you up and down.>“I’m afraid so. I must say, it’s quite endearing.”>Your inward sigh of relief is monstrous.“I’m glad one of us thinks so.”
>Her smile, infectious, makes its home on your own features.>You move out of the way, holding the door open for her.“Come on in, it’s a bit too frigid outside for my tastes.”
>She bows her head to you slightly in a show of gratitude and heads inside, her hooves leaving behind perfect imprints in the snow.>As she passes by you, her perfume follows just behind her.>Oddly enough, it doesn't smell like ozone and sunflowers, which is her usual ensemble.>Instead, you get delightfully present hints of citrus, vanilla, and…>…Honeysuckle, if your nose isn’t lying to you.>Closing the front door wafts it about the room, and it brings with it a wave of memories, of a winter home drenched in the amber glow of a sunset coming to the forefront of your mind.“Love your new perfume, by the way.”
>She turns to look at you, almost lucent with satisfaction as you shut the door behind her.>“Oh, I’m so glad you noticed!” she beams, the ghost of pride in her eyes.>“I almost went with my usual fragrance, but I remembered our conversation about nostalgia we had a while ago and decided to wear something that might bring some good memories forward for you.”>…Wow.>You’re rather caught off guard by how thoughtful her gesture really is.“You remembered the honeysuckle story?”
>“How could I not?” she laughs. “The imagery you used for when it was stuck in your nose was quite colorful.”>You look at her in some form of blissful disbelief, which she returns with a confused smile.>“Is something the matter?”>Her question returns you to reality rather abruptly.“No, I’m alright, I just… Do you even know how sweet that is?”
>She cocks an eyebrow at you, and from the way her smile twists, you can tell she’s suppressing a giggle.>“Remembering your stories?”
>>42305909>A brief, hearty laugh runs from your lungs as you shake your head.“No, not that - the reason you wore the perfume. I mean… I don’t even know what to say, Cel.”
>Your dopey grin is beset on both cheeks by a heady warmth; a rosy blush, you assume - one that she adopts in kind.>“You don’t have to say anything, really,” she reassures, walking over to you. “I’m just glad you appreciate it, dear.”>Stopping just shy of you, she brings up a foreleg to her chest and holds her head high, closing her eyes as she leans in toward your right cheek.>You meet her halfway, bending over a tad and pressing your temple against hers, moving your head almost imperceptibly up and down in an affectionate nuzzle.>Your right hand goes up, fingertips delicately resting on the base of her neck.“I missed you.”
>Her velvety fur mimics your motions, and the sensation on your bare skin feels like a lullaby made specifically for you.>“I missed you too, Anon,” she says right next to your ear, her silky voice reverberating through your shared contact.>After a few moments spent in each other’s embrace, you both reluctantly pull away from each other.“Give me just a few minutes to grab a quick shower, and I’ll be ready to go out.”
>She nods, flashing you her seemingly ever-present smile.>“Of course, take your time.”>You smile back, content that you’ve got some time to get properly freshened up.>Turning back in the direction of your bathroom, you waste no time in->“Actually…”>She catches your attention just before you cross the door’s threshold.>Rubbing her hoof with her chin, her gaze is affixed to nothing in particular as she appears lost in thought.>“I believe Pinkie Pie said her party was going to start in the afternoon, right?”>You nod.“Yep. At three, if I remember correctly.”
>“And what time is it now?”>You crane your neck to check the clock in your living room…>“Seven thirty. Why?”>She smirks to herself, her horn coming alight with her aura.>“Well, since we have enough time,” she begins, a tinge of what sounds like satisfaction in her words. “Why don’t you get some more rest?”>Your perplexion is matched only by the steadfastness of her offer.“What, you mean, like… go back to sleep?”
>She nods, confidence backing the motions of her head. She blinks once or twice, the very sight of her eyelashes flitting about giving you the faintest of butterflies.>You can’t help but laugh, colored by your bewilderment and decorated by the awkward nature of said reactive mannerism.“I thought you wanted to go out and do something this morning, though?”
>“I did, but I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a moment of quiet where I wasn’t working in some way. I’d sooner abstain from sweets forever than pass up an opportunity like this.”“You can’t mean that.”
>“…It would be a hard decision.”
>>42305912>Air is ejected from your nose, and the corners of your mouth reach as high as they can go.>This mare and her sweets.>Still, the idea of going back to bed now doesn’t quite sit well with you.“Wouldn’t that be rude, though? Leaving you hanging like that?”
>You intend to wait for her reply, but a sentence that’s been bubbling in your chest for what must have been a while rises to the surface before silence prevails.“I just want to be with you as much as I can, you know?”
>The words leave your mouth before you can curtail their intensity a bit.>It doesn’t sound desperate, thankfully, but it’s highly indicative of how much she’s been occupying your waking mind.>She notices, of course. You’d be surprised if she didn’t.>Her eyes widen just slightly - almost imperceptibly, if you hadn’t been getting used to her mannerisms.>Below her eyes, her pristine white fur turns the faintest shade of pink - it seems she wasn’t expecting that level of>The reaction passes just as quickly as it arrives, replaced by the mischievous grin you’ve become all too familiar with.>“Luckily for us, we don’t have to make any compromises.”>Before you can ask what she means, her horn flashes a brilliant light, making you cover your eyes with your arm to shield yourself from its intensity.>A few moments pass before the light dissipates, leaving your living room in a state of hazy dreaminess.>You move your arm back to your side, blinking a few times to regain the usual sharpness of your vision.>Nothing about your surroundings has changed; it’s when your eyes rest on her once more that you understand what she’s done.>Gone is her stylish jacket, her striking scarf.>In their place are a t-shirt of her favorite musical group, some particularly eye-catching socks, and a nightcap.>You’ve never seen her in anything other than casual outfits or her regalia, given that you haven’t been together for more than a few months at this point.>Seems as though today’s going to be a day of firsts, if nothing else.>“There,” she says after a hefty sigh. “Much cozier.”>You blink again, more out of surprise than anything else>She notices your lack of input and coyly locks eyes with you.>“Too much?” she asks, a bashful smile accompanying upturned eyebrows.>You can’t help but smile; she may be acting shy, but that look in her eyes gives you a hunch that she planned this.“Not at all. Although, if you wanted to take a nap together, you could’ve just asked me.”
>She giggles to herself, content that you’ve uncovered her game at last.>“I’ll keep that in mind for next time, sunshine.”https://ponepaste.org/9685
may the slide threads be ever waning, lads
>find yourself in Equestria
>no pony can speak English
>who could've guessed?
>luckily a rather minty mare knows an ancient tongue known as "English"
>...that she studied using a rather questionable source
>>42305908eat shit and die. It´s rather nice, and i don´t even like Celly that much.
>>42305908lol
Anonymous? Anonymous never changes
>>42308061I understood this reference
>>4230749115 years and it's still undeniable.
>>42304645 (OP)How many views does this video have
>>42312037Okay here.
=Flanking Maneuvers Episode 15=
-Theme Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGkfWDtv78-
>Breakfast.>Toast.>BURNT toast.>Again."And on her last day of our bet, she decides to be a cunt and burns my food to carbon."
>You toss your ruined toast and watch it break into a million pieces.>"It slipped." Celestia says."How often have those words been uttered around you?"
>Celestia rolls her eyes as you start buttering a sweet role.>The Royal Family was rather small today, just Luna.>Armor and Cadence were off in the Crystal Kingdom cleaning up after Sombra's crap.>You remember that week, you had been on Celly's tits the entire time wondering why she was sending six kids instead of going herself.>She spouted some crap about it being a test for Twilight.>Meaning it smelled like a case of the "bad ex"'s to you.>But that was the past now."So how you been, Luna?" you ask as you butter your bread.
>Luna sips her tea and arches an eyebrow. "I have been...well, In-law. I have been spending time out with some friends out in the city.">Luna.>Friends.>Ha."And how's that been?"
>"It has been well, I even had a social date the other evening.">Celestia sighs. "Spending time with those you care for is so nice...">You nod."That it is."
>"I wish I could get out more often.""Yeah, it's a bit boring here all the time."
>"So you'll pick me up at eight?""Yeah, su-"
>Whoa.>Wait.>What?
Fucking jewtube deleted my theme song and I am NOT changing 30 pastes for one line so here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywMD3GLoKG4
>>42312527-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwLtFovGyCI-
>You and Celly were in your Sunday best sitting in the middle of the "Le", Canterlot's premier fancy restraint.>You thought the name was flank-on-head retarded.>Everyp0ny else sat around the outer edge of the establishment eating and being merry.>You catch a few glances to your table still."Everyone is staring."
>Celly continues to eat her food. "We're royalty, it comes with the territory.""Don't talk with your damn mouth full."
>"I'm the Sun, I can do what I want.""You're a Princess, don't be a cunt."
>Celly waggles her eyebrows and puts a few leaves of salad in her mouth before saying "No.">You resort to your last choice and flip her the bird.>"Body language, dear. We're in public.""Since when has public image been something you care about?"
>"Since I've had to pick up after you.""Just keeping life interesting, don't want you going back into Hyper-Whore mode."
>"It keeps life interesting~" Celly says as she downs her wine.>Hmm...should fix that.>Your waiter returns to your table levitating a notepad. "And can I get the royal family anything else this evening?""A bottle of Asgardian Black, if you don't mind."
>The waiter balks a bit but regains his composure. "Is His Highness feeling particularly daring today?>You toss a smile to Celly."No, I just like to get wined and dined before I get fucked."
>>42312533>Celly sent your drink back as soon as it arrived, denying you and sort of fun you had planned and forcing you to do the thing you dreaded doing.>Talking."So what's the plan for next week?"
>"The Prench president is stopping by for a bit of a chat about the situation of Horsaille and later in the week I was thinking about helping teach magical theory at the university.""So you're gonna smell like cheap cheese and booze for a week, brilliant."
>Celly arches an eyebrow. "You'd prefer if I smell like you do? Sweat and whatever food was tossed at you?""Feck off."
>"Always a way with words, dear.""One of us here has to."
>"And what are your plans for the week?""Figured I'd work most days, come home to your bitchy ass, and drink until I can't feel feelings anymore. You know, stuff normal people do as opposed to your God-king schedule."
>Celestia grins down. "Don't tell me you're still jealous~?""Don't fucking start that shit again."
>Celly titters and goes back to her meal, letting you spot two familiar faces over her shoulder."Hey, check five-thirty and seven."
>Celly looks over her shoulders at Filthy Rich on her right and Fancypants on her left.>"Small Equestria.""And you fucked one of them."
>"I have not slept with EVERYONE, dear.""She said totally believing herself."
>>42312537>Your soup came in time, one of the only filling things you could get outside of the castle."They burnt my soup..."
>"That's what you get for being picky.""How do you burn soup?"
>"Honestly, I thought the royal chef was going to quit a few times.""It's SOUP."
>"Why is it that you make half the castle staff almost quit just by being you?""Is Sweetie Belle working the backroom or some fucking shit?"
>"I swear that's the reason I don't take you out on diplomatic missions, you'd start a war in an hour.">You continue to glance around the restaurant as an older stallion come to your table.>"Princess Celestia." he began.>Yeah, just ignore you.>"It is my great honor to have you in my establishment tonight, and I would just like to ask if there was anything I could do for you to make your evening any more pleasant.""You burnt my soup."
>Celly and him talk around you.>"Oh thank you sir, but the dinner was positively lovely.""Except for my burnt soup."
>"Your praise warms this old heart, Princess, thank you." he says with a bow."Do you have a little white filly working in the kitchen?"
>"The praise is well earned, good sir.""About this tall? Unicorn? Pink hair and a high pitched voice?"
>The stallion bows deep as he continues to ignore you.>Okay, that's it.>You grab his ear."Hey, can you give me a hand with something?" you whisper.
>His eyes dart between you and her. "What did you have in mind, sir?">Oh.>Something good.
>>42312538>You kick in the door to the royal apartments."Luna! We're home!"
>You hoist the moaning Celestia further onto your back and trudge into through the door, grunting all the way."And I could use some damn help here!"
>Luna trots out of her room and balks when she sees you holding a Celestia who frankly looked like death on your back. "In-law! What happened!?">You take a few more steps as Luna helps lift Celly off your back.>You massage the small of your back and groan as Luna looks her sister over.>"WHAT HAPPENED HERE!?" she shouts."Ease up on the Royal Voice, she ate pears."
>Luna twists her head a bit. "Pears?""She's allergic. Stomach cramps."
>Luna nods her head. "Ah...""Care to help me lug her to bed?"
>"O-of course, In-law.">You help Luna carry your wife upstairs and dump her fat ass on the bed.>Once Luna is out of the room, you collapse on the bed next to Celly and give her your best grin."How ya feeling, Sunshine?"
>She mumbles something, you're sure you hear the word "revenge" in there.>You pat her head."Now don't be like thaaaat, it's all in fun."
>She groans and rolls over as you hop up next to her."You gonna warn me if you vomit?"
>She moans again. "Uuhhhhgggggggg...yes...">She was totally lying, but that was the price you paid.>You flip on the TV and nudge her as the show comes on."Oh look, Dirty Jobs."
>Celly moans and groans under the covers at the thought of a show about sewers with poop.>You sigh contentedly."I had a good night too, sweetheart.
>>42313018She knows he almost said "Royal Hiney" and only corrected at the last instant because he's afraid of getting banished to the moon or something
>>42313282Oh I though he said “wide load” or got found sniffing horseshoes or something
>>42312854Butt 4 Days gonna be my new gym
