Thread 42645403

Previous thread:>>42628850

Welcome to the Thread! Kinderquestria/Anon in pone prison focuses on the world and adventures of naive child like ponies and the misadventures and shenanigans of Anon that results in him going to prison! To get a good handle on how things are done around here I implore you to check out our new and improved one stop shop of kinder greens and prompts here >> https://ponepaste.org/7630

Very wise of the mod, Nonny. Very wise indeed!

>>42645493
a ton of other threads died last night too

>>42645525
Sliders need to go ride a slide

>>42645883
I always figured Pinkie would be Mabel for obvious reasons

>>42646024
I'm sure that's a reasonable take, I never watched gravity falls so I can't say for certain.

>>42648025
Toplel

>>42645403 (OP)
>tfw no cosmic horror Ponk to bite my arm off, drag me into a storm drain and eat me
why even live

>>42648197
Five roombas? That's a lot of paperwork for the Foundation.

>The CMCs got into Anon's war trophies
>This will be disastrous for the cutie mark economy

>captha:KSP0J
>KSP

>>42649919
Indoctrination theory.

>>42650021
Yeah, the one downside about magic horsey land no one talks about is that it's all one giant cult dedicated to the alicorns. (This is why they ruin everything.)

>>42649919
"What are bananas?"

>>42650178
"botanically berries"

prebed dash

>>42650294
Tinnitus is a bitch can't sleep without fan

>>42650787
same but not for tinnitus

Going to the store with Twigglesworth

>>42652844
she's gonna say the Z-word!

>>42652086
> POV: Starlight Glimmer accidentally kicked a rock while time traveling.

>>42652919
ZIMBABWE

>>42654374
Oh lawd she coming

>>42655384
Derpy is playing Minecraft before the other ponies even have PCs

>>42655810
The famous sister of Pinkie Pie, Catseye Cobbler

pre bed butter

>>42656249
Butter is allowed in the bed as long as she doesn't bring toast

>>42657749
Little shit trying to sway me with he cutness

>>42656705
Tax office

Perfect height for headresting

>>42659675
I love this

>>42659675
Actually wait, if some bug that feeds on romantic love was getting fed from my baby I'd be making the same face as Cadance

>>42660604
It's never specified in the show.

>>42659621
She's literally me.

>>42661584
I would be psychically incapable of stopping myself from laughing maniacally due to the sheer ridiculousness and absurdity of the situation.

I hardly post trixie and I need to remedy that 'cause she do be a cute sometimes.

>>42662334
Truly a great and powerful ass she has. A plot to rival the Muffin.

Just beat MM for spookymonth

>>42662816
Wow I'm retarded I only looked at the thumbnail and assumed the CMCs were dressed like Link

Pre bed car pile

>>42663848
ote

>SCP 1314 minus 1
>Object class: Euclid
>REDACTED, PLEASE INPUT SNOWPITY VERIFICATION
>...
>CONFIRMED
>THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENT IS A KNOWN PSYCHOHAZARD AND MEMETIC AGENT, PLEASE INPUT MEMETIC AGENT INOCULATION DATA
>...
>CONFIRMED
>Continue:

>Description:
>SCP 1314 minus 1, or SCP 1313 as it'll be referred to henceforth, is a memetic agent capable of spreading through written text.
>Ponies that see the characters 1313 used in a cutesy way will find themselves unable to stop wriggling their eyebrows for hours at a time, stopping only due to muscle fatigue.
>First instance of SCP 1313 was identified on the forbidden book "The Ponynomicon, 100 PARTY TRICKS FOR FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!!!!", discovered accidentally by the Cutie M[REDACTED].
>Of note is that the pony who first writes the 1313 character is immune to their own instance of SCP 1313.

>Containment Procedure:
>Due to its specific trigger condition being the use of the numbers 1313 in a cutesy way, stopping ponies from doing so is enough. Inter-city letter delivery must pass through an automated SCP 1313 detector, and affected letters must be magically modified by inoculated personnel to remove the numbers.
>Infected ponies may be given temporary relief by administration of a paralytic ointment on their eyebrows (side effects of being unable to blink are known and to be expected).
>Beer-class amnestics are enough to erase the memory of the memetic agent.

>Notice: Log name changed from SCP 1313 to SCP 1314 minus 1 after it was discovered that recovered patients now always saw the numbers 1313 as cutesy, unless properly inoculated.
>Notice 2: The anomalous properties of the 1313 characters can be triggered by conjunction with a more cutesy non-anomalous set of characters, such as "1313 :3". This property has been weaponized by Group of Interest "Marebrow Wiggles are HOT" and used in several terrorist attacks on canterlot walls, area wide Beer-class amnestics deployers have been installed in critical areas.
>Notice 3 hey is thsi thing on hey hlelo there this is one of the many anonfillies from that one group you menioned i heard you guys got the marebrow wiggles can i get a video we like that thing its hot like unf i love me some marebrow wiggles man i'm over here wriggling my eyebrows i got lotion on my eyebrows right now i'm just wriggling my eyebrows i'm eyebrowy as buck mare i'm a freak mare tell my ziga twily sparkl that i'll be waiting for here marebrow wiggles tonite unf that purple flank and purple eyebrows make me UNF
>Notice 4: Despite several attempts at removing Notice 3, it has been anomalously anchored to this document, O5-1 TS has been notified.
>Notice 5: Immediately after notification, O5-1 TS blushed as red as a tomato and had an instance of SCP-533 (Steam bursting from her ears).

>>42645403 (OP)
>"Want a balloon, Anon? They all float down here!"
"Pinkie, all balloons float"
>"..."

>>42664525
Kek but what does 1313 have to do with eyebrow wiggles?

>We have tested extensively
>Despite all lack of visible mechanism or alterations
>Water just tastes better from a hose

>>42664870
it's an emote in the more uwu-centric internet that means a flirty eyebrow wiggle

>GENERAL ALERT
>Do not squeeze the boobies
>While they do indeed make the human go honk, they invite slapping
>If you want pillows, pretending to be a cat has the highest rate of success

>>42666950
Luna riding her husband with their daughter in the distance

pre bed filly derp

>>42667649
That's not a filly that's clearly a clothes moth

Boop

Ornery fillies get put in the carry handle vest

>>42670811
Of course, because pony have soft buns

>>42671134
>Wakes up in Canterlot
>"Well where the hell was I gonna go? Detrot?"

>>42671217
The filly looks slightly displeased

>>42670811
Looks like Anon teaching her how to fly.

>>42672582
Dashie NO

>>42673975
Catpone

>>42674523
Kidz Bop 37: Fillies Wit Attitude

>SCP-512: The Sneezebags
>Object Class: Safe
>Containment procedure:SCP-512 must be kept within O5-2 - Anonymous' basement. O5-2 is allowed free access to SCP-512 with the intent to scoop up small portions of SCP-512's contents for personal use.
>Description:
>SCP-512 are two an extra large cloth bag filled, one small black pellets, hereto referred as SCP-512-1, and one filled with fine black powder.
>SCP-512 measures 1.2 Celestias tall, and 2 celestias wide and long, while SCP-512-1 are all regularly shaped spheroids, measuring around 1 cherry pit in all dimensions(1).
>Through use of a specialized device (SCP-512-2), the black pellets can be ground into either a chunky powder or an extra fine powder, identical in composition to the fine powder in the other bag. According to O5-2, these are two different states of the compound known as "Pepper".
>Ponies are advised to NOT inhale these powders, lest they find themselves unable to stop sneezing (see Incident Report)
>Careful dosage of SCP-512-1 has been shown to reduce Alpha and Beta tier tummyaches to the more manageable Delta tier, which can be relieved with basic first aid magic.
>Anomalous anti-Plague effects have been identified as well, with D-class test subjects that were previously exposed to The Plague(2) presenting an accelerated recovery process after consumption of SCP-512-1.
>Dosage on salads and assorted foodstuffs must be done by a trained professional (currently only O5-2 Anonymous applies). Excessive consumption of SCP-512's powder will cause the [REDACTED].
>An experimental agricultural project was suggested by O5-2 and approved by Head of Botany Applejack. Small scale "pepper" farming has been undergoing, with surprisingly good results. A request by Head of Security Rainbow Dash to start development of weaponized "pepper" sprayers for riot control was approved but hasn't seen fruit yet.

>Incident Report:
>Soon after discovery of SCP-512, field agent and close friend of O5-2, Pinkamena "Pinkie" Pie, meandered into Anon's basement, upon which she discovered the bags, opened the powder one curiously and accidentally inhaled the powder.
>This caused agent Pinkamena to sneeze and instinctively breathe in again, which led to a Class 4 Sneeze-feedback stopped only by O5-2's direct intervention. (3).
>Agent Pinkamena may not enter O5-2's basement anymore, under threat of Ethanol-class Amnestics as punishment (as requested by O5-2).

>(1): It's two 50 kilo bags of black pepper, one finely grounded, one regular, will probably last until I die of old age. -Anon
>(2): I.e: A cold, the common cold. It's the plague here. -Anon
>(3): Apparently black pepper is to ponies what tear gas is to us, gotta be careful with this. Love me some pepper though. -Anon

>>42675629
KEK

>>42675629
>Somepony snuck SCP-512 into Twilight's kitchen
>But who would try to assneezeinate Sporkle Porkle?

Boop

>>42676377
I can't- if I get you any higher I'd be throwing you

>>42676913
she's a pegasus so she'd probably enjoy that.

>>42677492
But throwing ponies is a form of assault
Are you saying it's sometimes good to break the law??????
>This will have disastrous effects on the pony political landscape

>>42677593
I mean if they ask and they enjoy it would it really be assault? the law breaking part would be if it was against their will.

pre bed boop

>Celestia trying to read an 8th grade scroll
>Why did she send the only high school reader to Ponyville?

>>42681026
When Anon was offered a crushed pelvis, his expectations were not in line with reality

>>42681660
I'm imagining Rarity as a witch, doing laundry in a giant cauldron with bespoke scents. I bet ponies would take detergent scents super seriously.

>>42682396
Why do they have dolls of themselves? Where did they come from?

pre bed mlem

Spike has developed an unstoppable anti-pony attack. Who will stop his reign of scritches?

>>42685357
I'm petting mine down to the bone!

>>42685357
would vigorously

>>42685995
Delivering her lunch I see

>>42686618
Become ungovernable

pre bed

>>42688899
dubs confirm she may go at ver hihg sped

>>42690762
Yes you are

>>42688609
Just a stallion and his giant mare.

>>42692014
>giant mare

>>42693115
10/10, would marry, be the dad that stepped up and plap Derpy full of mutant satyrs

>>42694105
>SCP-++++1
>Containment Class: Thaumiel

>Special Containment Protocols:
>SCP-+1 is to be distributed as needed

>Description:
>It's uppies, I dunno(1)

>1. Heck you MEAN "you dunno"? This is a professional document!(2)
>2. I dunno, just not feeling it.(3)
>3. Would an uppy help?(4)
>4. Maybe.(5)
>5. Report to your nearest large grabby thing at once, doctor's orders.(6)
>6. Instructions unclear, now I'm stuck playing checkers with that big red dragon. Zest for life has returned, though.

pre bed moona

>>42694613
If only Celestia had mooncakes back then, history would've gone drastically different

Pre bedloon ride

>>42690781
Kek
I can't help but hear this in GLaDOS' voice.
>You're a silly pony that made me a giggle-fest!

9

>>42696615
Pondering the orb from inside the orb

>>42697294
LEWD

>>42698074
Foals these days need to stop with the lewd and start drinking some brewd- tea that is.

>>42702732
Mares who commit uppy violations will be sentenced to uppies

Where does she keep getting these

>>42700137
>>42699434
>>42699032
Twiggie. lmao

>>42703707
Anon has figured out how to build a computer with equestrian technology just so he could provide Derpy with unlimited computers.

>>42705078
Royal Guard standing at parade mlem (c. 1002, colorized)

>>42705675
Mlemble Pie

>>42703707
the windows 11 e-waste apocalypse

>>42706990
Haburgr

>>42662908
Why are there red car lights in the back window? Is anon driving... IN THE OPPOSITE TRAFFIC LANE?!

>>42707257
Dash wanted fast and red goes faster, them's the rules

>>42707751
Twily NO

>>42707782
thats candy ass

>>42707844
Sorry, force of habit. I see a pony with a powerful aura and a book I assume twilynanners

>>42708739
>Anon's Journal Day 254
>I have successfully convinced Twilight that raspberries are an acceptable greeting for royalty

>>42708799
Holy dubs confirm

>>42709645
Kidanon getting in trouble for messing with a dollhouse that's actually a house for teenypones

>>42710427
What the fuck is that balloon made of? It's tougher than a building!

>>42711749
I wish I had fillies to carry like footballs

>>42712247
>Eating off the ground

>>42712306
Well I mean she's technically eating the ground.

>>42712657
>Anon tells Pinkie his sides are in orbit
>Now she refuses to tell jokes for fear of banishing things to the moon
>Friendship problems ensue

>>42712626
eating the ground off the ground

>>42712626
Grass is made of grass, not dirt

>>42713272
A shoe-nicorn

>>42713608
Apple Bloom, you can't eat all those cookies!

kinder bump to kill anni thread

That's what she gets for digging through my cabinet

>>42716019
>Cadance could not handle the smoked paprika

>>42715574
2000 miles? Either she doesn't fear bedtime or she made that trip in one afternoon, and I don't like either possibility.

>>42716922
Do not underestimate the power of a liddle shid.

>>42717440
Oh my, someone left this unbooped snootle out here

>>42717623
Do not boop that snoot, she needs it to navigate

>>42717708
So you're saying I gotta lead her by the nose?

>>42717708
I would smooch that snoot

pre bed butters

>>42718512
Qtqtqt

>>42718512
Treasure trove in the cove

>>42719869
Kindersurgery is a terrifying idea- they don't even have Operation to practice with

>>42721216
Catering for Luna

>>42719910
Depends on what version in kinderquestria you're in.

pre bed moona

>>42722932
A mlemon, even
>>42723360
How would ponies react to gamebooks?

>>42723429
amazement most likely

Yeah I could go for some go-gurt

pre-grocery boop

>>42714076
im so fucking high and stupid right now what is this called when they stick out tongue and do the fart noise with it. its so adorable and i want more

>>42724104
its called blowing a raspberry anon

>>42724134
oh my god thank you anon

>>42723992
Update: Sam's Club kinda sucks ass I wish we had a Costco round here

>>42725581
I'd give you a kek but Celestia stole them all thinking they were cake

>>42725857
Cake

Going native sure has it's perks

>>42726380
You don't need to go native to enjoy desserts

>>42726811
going native means no diabetus and no malnourishment issues. essentially unlimited dessert

>>42727358
POV: they strategically saw the worst thing ever while they were standing next to your bed

>>42728038
Imminent >consensual sex for the dual purpose of procreation and sustenance

>>42729019
based fellow lillslim appreciator

>She's yelling answers from the back of the class
>Not a single one is right

>>42730090
She's so addicted to muffins she's trying to eat the box

>>42730090
>SCP-005
>Containment Class: Thaumiel

>Special Containment Protocols:
>Instances of SCP-005 are to be issued to sneaky sneak pones before infiltration or asset recovery missions
>When not in use, SCP-005 must be stored in a marked and numbered cubby AND listed in full on the storage bay's manifest(1)

>Description:
>SCP-005 is a hollow rectangular prism, composed of flexible and soft yet durable brown papery stuff
>The object is so nondescript it emits a field of boringness that prevents lesser-minded creatures from noticing it from a distance
>Active search parties who are aware of SCP-005 are capable of finding it up close, but at a distance the object's perception-altering properties can still fool visual reception beyond 20 paces
>Even when an opposing force is aware of SCP-005, there is a chance they will fail to notice it due to a psychonautical hallucination effect; this effect appears to be stronger and more likely to work in the Foundation's favor if there are multiple opponents.

>Transcript of initial secondary effect discovery:
>[Sounds of hooves on hardwood]
>[Great shuffling of cardboard followed by powerful panting]
>"Ey, TONE, find that blue lady! She set fire to the water in the toilets!(2)"
"Yeah I think I heard her climbing into the sneaky box- check the log or we'll be looking all day."
>[Preat and gowerful muttering of oh crap]
>"Says section 9, unit C5?"
>[Chattering of bones and rustling of wizard hat]
"What? I'm looking right at it- there's just another time machine someone put in the wrong warehouse!"
>[What]
>"Are you nuts? Let me- no, what are you talking about? That's a WAGON."
"Are you calling me a liar!?"
>"MAYBE I AM!"
>[Sound of escaping to find Trixie's superior and play this off as a totally legit test]

>1. Please stop writing your Hearthswarming wishlist on that- a manifest is a list of cargo, not a form for you to manifest your dreams!
>2. Trixie insists this says more about your water than about her

>>42731520
Cozy Gloaf

>>42731520
qt cozy

>>42730541
>OBFUSCATED FORWARD ENTRY
>DIRECTOR EYES ONLY
>NO PEEKING

>SCP-005
>Containment Class: Keter
>Proliferation Proffers Potential Pony 'Pocalypse

>Special Containment Protocols:
>SCP-005's status as a boring stealth object is a cover story.
>This fiction must be maintained to the general public.
>Ponies able to see past this fiction must be tracked; Foundation employees are to be promoted to a desk or janitorial job.
>The Ethics Board has already discussed SCP-005's potential as a weapon on multiple occasions. Each time, the risk of proliferation has been declared too great to even consider.
>For this reason, wild entities should be destroyed in a standard containment dumpster fire, and the fiction that the SCP-005s in Foundation custody are unique should be disseminated.

>Description
>SCP-005 is a nondescript brown paper box
>To most everyday ponies, especially grownups, this is true; refer to surface level protocols for more information.
>To many foals, and grownups with a Pinkles-Whimsypie Rating above 5, SCP-005's(1) true potential is self-evident.
>The box will appear to such an observer as the object they would find most useful in the current crisis, or the most fun if there is no crisis.
>In the event of multiple potential users, each will see their own desire until one takes control, at which point the imagination waveform will collapse and all observers will perceive the winner's chosen reality.
>Normals will continue to perceive a nondescript box
>They will insist it is merely a box even as they watch their foal drive off a cliff at 90 miles per fast.

>>42731960
>1. That's totally why we named it SCP-005 yep everything is planned and holistic yep uh huh

>>42732740
Would pet

>>42734064
What man could hold such powerful tummy!?

>>42734224
me, would blow raspberries on that tummy until i died from asphyxiation.

>>42734236
You wouldn't be free even then, as the mare tummy would generate life-sustaining mare air

>>42734323
worth it beyond a shadow of a doubt

What did (you) do?

>>42736602
>pic rel

>>42736730
It's located inside the mare

>>42737570
little shit

>>42738259
Actually if you feed a horse that much bacon it'll probably be an astronomical shit

pre bed butter

>>42740988
look at her go!

>>42741306
I could only imagine

>>42731960
>>42741306
>SUPER TOP SECRET
>SECURITY CLASS: CELESTIA'S BOOTY CALL
>IF YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK WHAT A BOOTY CALL IS, GO TELL ON YOURSELF FOR BEING HERE

>SCP-005
>Containment Class: Ȁ̯̤̞͇ͦͤ̂p̖̣͚ͨ̑ͭo̸l͔̳̗̀͐ͣl͝=̼̼͍̥-̽͗̿̋ͣẗ̮̳́h̤͎͛a͐ͧu̹̭̦̮̮̹ͭ̾́̈ͦ̚-k̻ͤę̭͕͔̳͕̟ͪ̊͂͆̓̒0ee̴̺̪E͇̝͔̯ͅT͔̥̯̠͇̿̐ͮ̍̑͘r̡ͮ͋͗͐
>Warning: Containment failure will be ERR0R

>Special Containment Protocols:
>It's F̜̣͚̟͚͈͆̉ͧͩ̈́̚ͅI̻̩̦̫͙̠̖͊ͨ̈͐̃ͧ͐NȆ͗̂̆ͤ

>Description:
>SCP-005 comprises 99% of all civil architecture.
>Containment failure will lead to complete physical collapse of Equestrian civilization and return to sleeping outside in the dark.
>Release, proliferate and protect the illusion.
>Nothing else matters.

>The true nature of SCP-005 was discovered by Foundation agents responding to a Derpy incident
>After destroying the Ponyville town hall with her rump, her eyes focused on a single point for approximately 2 seconds
>By the time agents found her, she was frothing and raving, requiring five agents to restrain.
>Hazard pay and disability compensation is still being negotiated, but is expected to cost 10% of total Foundation income for the next 5 years.
>I͑͠T'̢ͣ̆̑ͤS͜ ̩̤Ă̫̮̖͕͕̖ͫ̐ͦ̈̐L̩͙̜͈͔L̥̤ B̢O͎͈X͂̒̿̊͂̇E̯̞͔͈̗̓̾̂̔̾͞Ş̦͉̼̩̻̈̌̐̿̈́ ̪̬̯͇̺̈͌̽̂̋Ẽ͉̹͎͚̱͈ͤ̿ͦ̊́V͎̤͎̫̤͋͐̔ͯ̽Ë͙̦̟͖́̈́ͩ̎͡R̞͙̗̘̦̼̈̌ͪ̽ͭYͧͧͣͦ͞T̙̹̹̗̯͕̻H̍͗̉Į̱̺̼̤̖ͧ̓͋̏ͣNG̵̮ ̖͈̦̟̤͡I̘̱Ș̖̳ ̰͕͈̑̽̃B̡̦͈̗̱̺̠̹͆ͣ̌̀̊͛̿O͡X͓͖̜̺̥͓̀ͤ͆̋͒ͪ͜ES

>>42743515
>all glass in kinderquestria is sugar glass to prevent booboos

>>42645403 (OP)
I love you kinderquestrian fags

>>42743746
Don't get into her van! The candy there smells like old pumpkins!

>>42744331
Limestone could take up poetry and change her name to Rhymestone Sly

Pre-bowl boop

>>42745470
>She ate them books

She's gonna bite the fuck out of you

>>42746829
Removing the fuck from me implies she is quelling the sin of lust forever- is it truly possible that petting protesting ponies is a path to salvation?

That's what happens when you die!
https://vocaroo.com/1my9rYPUqezZ
It's pain that gets worse and worse forever!

>>42749141
Why did they never do this in the show?

>>42749243
because fuck you that's why unfortunately

>>42750071
Celestia is reaching levels of smallness that are frankly just absurd

>>42750215
Twily booptrayal

Teaching Twiggie the magic rune

>>42693947
This Anon has the right Idea!
Get this anonymous a true!

>>42736602
I don’t like apple pie.

>>42746829
Thats my fetish

>>42752758
RIP Anon pancaked by a derpus

Fuck it's cold in here

>>42752525
Holy cow this is probably my new favorite screencapture. Wow, that's adorable.

Get rotated, cutie

>>42753526
Get petted, Golly

>>42754804
Waaaait, the house isn't destroyed- this can't be Derpy's fault! She's been framed!

>>42755353
What the [buysomeapples] is going on here?

>>42755382
she is lifting

anon is a menace

>>42756656
Cutie Mark Crusaders: War Criminals! YAY!

pre bed derp