Thread 42788399

How do I stop ponies from laughing at me?

Have you tried not sucking dicks?

>>42788399 (OP)
Rape them and spank them

Get MARED.

>>42788411
>BLACKED shit
>>>/trash/

>>42788399 (OP)
If you suck at life, then there is little you can do. You're doomed to suck and just be an overall failure. The absolute best you can do is be "the funny guy" in a vain attempt to embrace your clumsy, uncoordinated day-today life of depression and mockery.

>>42788399 (OP)
Go full monkey mode. Reject mares, reject society. Eat banana. Climb tree. Fling shit at laughing horse.
Their laughter and their screams mean nothing to you anymore.

>>42788448
Hey, Troubleshoes did it and he probably got a nice rodeo wife who will help him sire some nice rodeo foals.

>>42788399 (OP)
Have you tried not being alone on a Friday night?

>>42788505
Have you tried not being petrified?

>>42788399 (OP)
Why would you want them to?

>>42788399 (OP)
>How do I stop ponies from laughing at me?
Roast yourself the hardest, but in the gleeful sadistic way, followed by "Haha, wouldn't that be funny?" after going into gratuitous disgusting detail.

>>42789383
>do just that
>one mare actually runs off crying
>she shows up wondering wtf you just did
how fucked are (you)

>>42788399 (OP)
Step one: embrace the nudist culture. All of those close you're wearing are sending a different message.
Step two: Inform them that you're lack of fur is considered attractive from where you're from. You may still get a few snickers, but you'll be able to exert confidence.
Step three: tussle with a minotaur. Yes, they're strong, but if you manage to slip a handful of bits before your fight, you two can make it look convincing. Even if you can't bribe one and/or you lose, you'll still gain some respect from the masses.
Step four: if all else fails, cave in to your carnivore side. Eat rare meat with your bare hands in front of a large crowd, let the red juices drip all over you. To the uninitiated, it'll look like blood and you'll look savage. No pony will ever laugh at you again.

>>42788399 (OP)
try taking off your hat

>>42789494
Ponies don't laugh at Button Mash, be nice.

>>42789494
Take off your clown flag.

>>42789494
If the propeller hat goes, I go. Simple as.

>>42788399 (OP)
Maybe hide your micro penis for starters?

>>42789563
It's not my fault that stallions are bigger!

>>42789569
It's okay, I know some ponies who prefer comfort. You'll find a good fit.

>>42789588
Oh yeah? Who? I'm not fucking a filly.

>>42789590
Gryphons have small vaginas, or so I've heard.

>>42789590
Marble Pie will be a good one for you, I believe in you bud.
>but what about big mac
Why do you think they broke up? You didn't think it was because of that maybe-distant-cousins stuff, did you?

>>42789593
I'm not a furry.
>>42789595
Her sisters are the ones laughing at me.

>>42789598
>Her sisters are the ones laughing at me.
Well, your heart will be full of enough love that you won't care about ponies mocking you.

>>42789601
I'll skip the excuses and be honest, I don't like Marble Pie. Beggars can't be choosers, but my micro refuses to get up for her.

>>42789603
Well that makes things a bit more complicated. Maybe check with Coco? I know she's into anal so she might actually prefer it smaller.

>>42789607
>Coco
>Wanting small
Anon... She's the fucking size queen pony

>>42789607
Anal enjoyers prefer large cocks. Or at least, not small ones.

>>42789494
Sorry babe, but the propeller hat stays on during sex

>>42789609
Yeah it's not likely but it's possible. I dunno you might be fucked! If you're lucky you can find somepony who doesn't care about sex at all but is still willing to help you get off. If you were a faggot that'd be Sunburst, he wouldn't care about your micropenis.

>>42789607
Me not liking Marble was because she's shy. Same applies to Coco. I don't want a shy mare. They are anti-sex to me. Is it over for me?

>>42789619
If you're really lucky it'll turn out that being gay is unacceptable in Equestria and then you can be the beard for some lesbian mare who'll begrudgingly get you off in exchange for helping hide her secret true love.

>>42789623
I feel like I'll do this with Bon Bon and she'll be secretly making glowie logs on me and my micro penis.

>>42789619
You should still be able to land an unknown background mare. Will she be happy about you having a small penis? No. But only the top mares can get a stallion. And humans are a novelty to some.

>>42789628
Yeah but then Lyra will convince her that you're okay because fingering feels great and then you're set to jet.

>>42789399
>"I told her what an ugly POS I am and went into graphic detail about all the things others would enjoy doing to me like it was one big joke. This made her cry. I...just wanted to make others not laugh at me, not cause them to have a breakdown. I don't actually want any of that to happen. I didn't mean to make her cry... And I don't want you to hurt me. But you're the one in charge."
And then wait and see what the hell happens.

>>42789619
Coco isn't even shy. She's just soft-spoken but does all sorts of extrovert shit.

>>42790151
So does Fluttershy. Coco's meek. Meek is shy. Shy is anti-sex.

>>42788399 (OP)
I don't know, Anon. Take your meds maybe?

necrolaugh

>>42791090
fuck no

>>42791090
no.

necrolaugh

>>42788399 (OP)
Wake up from your nightmare.

>>42790865
>Fluttershy marecel