Happy Saturday! This thread is for all you weekend warriors. Post your janky repairs here.

UPSETTING THE EPA EDITION:
-Draining oil into the city sewer
-Throwing your old battery into the ocean
-Releasing refrigerant into the atmosphere
-Filling your AC system with propane
-Installing a defeat device for maximum power

>>28523891 (OP)
Is that a prostate exam?

>>28524056
>Is that a prostate exam?
Colonoscopy.

>>28524056
whale harpooning

>>28524056
Architect's cellulite quality check

>>28523891 (OP)
>Get fresh 3.8 long block installed in Wrangler
>Add fluids, getting prepped to fill coolant the rest of the way
>First start, nearly instantly fired up
>Idling, see something splashing through the louvers through the hood
>Oil light comes on, no oil engine sounds
>Killed it the moment it sounded off
>Walk up front, coolant and what appears to be oil in radiator
>Feels like oil
>Check dipstick, empty
>Pull drain plug, next to nothing came out
>Check oil containers that the engine came with: opened and empty
Well fuck.

Do I need those specific MAF and throttle body cleaners, or can I use some alternatives like IPA?

I'm trying to get some emissions related issues fixed, basically new battery/previous owner reset the o2 and evap monitors and I am doing drive cycles to get it to finish its tests and be emissions ready.
O2 is now working but evap still needs something to function.
The hard part is I just bought the thing a few days ago and have no license plate or insurance on it yet so its a bit sketchy... I have put about 85 miles on it so far trying to get it to clear just to see if its gonna pass.

>>28523891 (OP)
envision ze fragrance

>>28525942
Evap can be such a pain in the ass to get "ready"

>>28526021
anything I can do besides just drive it more?

>>28526062
When when the temperature outside is as cold as possible. It can be a difficult monitor to get set during the summer.

>>28526073
well fuck. I guess its gonna be an early morning next weekend to hopefully get that 65F low for the day.

almost dropped the hammer on some Yukon spider gears before discovering they won't fit the factory carrier. first time cracking open a diff, every fucking piece of information I learn about this process is +$200 to my repair costs.

>>28525540
sorry for your loss.

>>28525942
Google the specific process for your car for the monitors to be ready, it's not just "drive it around a lot" there's a specific amount like 15 minutes at 30mph, 30 minutes at 60 mph, something like that. It needs highway and town driving. Also make sure there's no pending codes

>>28525765
Apparently some car manufacturers use some kind of coating in their throttle bodies that something like brake cleaner would damage.
I'd say use the right products just to be safe.

Does hearing ticking and having the check oil light come on mean the engine is already fucked?

>>28526771
Yeah I did all that, I gave it another go even though my evap on my scanner was still blinking but they pushed me through so I'm good to go... now the transmission is popping out of gear lol.. but its a linkage issue and I can just hold it in gear for a few extra seconds.... I love $5k cars

>>28527344
gonna depend on the engine and the ticking for sure but its not typically a good sign a good sign

Got a new car with this style of lug nut. If I buy picrel, will I be good to go?

>>28528338
Update: found the socket in the back seat :-)

>>28529116
was gonna say those are definitely not metric lugs

Fucking hell, my car had lost about ~60% of it's braking power (old drum brakes) when I took it for a short drive today. Was able to drive safely back home slow and steady, but what could have caused it? The car worked just fine a week earlier when I drove it last time. The garage has been hot as fuck though, around 35c/95f, could that alone cause such a brake fade? I checked everywhere and couldn't see any noticable leaks either.

Talk me out of changing the hydraulic lifters.

>>28531122
If you have to ask this you need to do a modicum of research then inspect your brakes. You could have a fluid leak or a mechanical problem. You're not going to fade brakes just driving normally regardless of outside temperature unless your short drive involved going down a mountain grade.

>>28531177
The brakes felt soft already when I backed it out of the garage, but I thought I was just imagining things since everything worked normally when I last drove it. But when I had to brake properly to red lights little later it became pretty damn clear that something was wrong. I'll check the brake fluid level tomorrow, but I'll be surprised if it's low, since the brake lines, drums etc, and the garage floor all looked bone dry.

>>28531135
for what exactly?
if you've got it stripped down you're gonna have to throw in a fat hog cam
dingleball hone the cylinders
replace the rear main seal
ignore the oil pump and cam bearings
replace the timing chain/ switch to timing gears if possible
and finally, paint it

replacing the lifters is actually a pretty big job