What are the secrets to get nice stools and little wipes?
Im tired of leaving a huge pile toilet paper and baby wipes after i finish

>>2818130 (OP)
Use your hands like a sir

>>2818130 (OP)
a bidet

>>2818130 (OP)
bring your dog

>>2818130 (OP)
Do it in a creek downstream from where you fish. Let the natural water take care of the problem.

>>2818175
I never understood this issue.
>nooooo you can't piss or shit near a water source you'll ruin it
Meanwhile every other animal does it. Fish do it in the fucking water. Thousands of years ago humans likely also were doing it. Our ancestors weren't going to walk a mile just to not shit by the river. Hell, most of India does it to this day and they are just fine.

>>2818130 (OP)
immodium and salad tongs
not the plastic tips though, you need the cold metal so you can feel it

>>2818179
>most of India does it to this day and they are just fine.

>>2818137
this. Honestly just do it like the Arabs and South Europeans. Or get one of these for your trip instead of wiping like a Pajeet.

>>2818229
I have that but it doesn't work nearly as well as the blast from a proper bidet gun hooked up to the plumbing. Maybe something battery powered?

bring your own toilet paper and paper towels
toilet paper doesn't work for shitting in the woods
what you want is folded up half sheets of paper towel
ideally you want to wet every piece by spitting water onto the paper towel before applying it
this will better remove the poop
make sure to apply hand sanitizer to your hands after to kill the poop smell (mostly)

the best way to poop is sitting over the edge of a bench or squatting on a flat rock with your butt hanging off the back
hold your cheeks while you poop

I am an animal. I don't bother with shovels or hiding the poop or paper. If you want me to shit in a bathroom put a flushing toilet at the trailhead.

Hiking makes you have to shit urgently sometimes, which sucks. Pre-emptive pooping - even if you don't feel like you have to go - can be a great strategy if you remember to do it.

And, after pooping, beeline for the nearest gas station - this is where the toilet paper comes in - ideally you find a toilet adjacent to the sink so you can wet the wads of toilet paper to clean ALL the poop particulate off - but if not you can spit gurgles of water from your drinking tube onto the toilet paper
and make sure to double wash your hands with a lot of fucking soap after pooping in the woods cuz it can get everywhere

>>2818238
> Maybe something battery powered?
Thats a good idea, im sure there might be something like that. I use the manual one for roadtrips and camping and havent had issues with it.

>>2818246
Us fatasses have sticky poo. Before I got a bidet I used so much tp and clogged the toilet a lot.

>>2818249
i was born in an Arab country, so ive been used to a biden since I was a kid.

https://makerworld.com/en/models/396909-bum-buddy-travelling-bidet-sprayer-for-pet-bottle

3D print one of these. You can also buy them injection molded if you don't have a 3d printer.
Put on PET bottle and enjoy clean bums.

>>2818267
It's literally a lid with a hole in it, just get a knife and poke it out

Just pooped in the woods.

>>2818249
Just flush more. I bet you are a slant-eyed, mouth-breathing mongoloid.

the secret is fiber. If you have enough fiber in your diet, you'll only need to do a quick test wipe to confirm you're clean. Your BMs won't usually leave any residue
if your dietary fiber is sufficient. Get some metamuscil, start with half the recommended dose at first and eventually work up to a full tablespoon a couple times a day. You'll become as regular as a clock, the stools will be perfect and never too firm, and you'll rarely have to wipe after a bowel movement.
Most people don't eat enough fiber. Once you start having clean shits, you'll wonder why you didn't try this sooner.

>>2818614
Kind of, you can make a version with a knife but it won't work as well. The printed version has both a proper nozzle and most importantly the 90 degree angle.
Making a hole on the side doesn't properly work as the walls press against the lid.
I used to use just a bottle lid with a hole poked into it with a knife and while it worked, I prefer this much more. It uses less water, cleans better and is easier to hold.

Find a stream of water
Poop at the base of a tree close by, so as not to pollute the water
Crabwalk to the water to wipe your ass
Enjoy smelly but fresh hand

Put on a disposable glove to wipe your ass with the puffiest most luxurious toilet destroying triple ply that you would never dare use with modern plumbing. Treat yourself, you deserve it. Now take out a sanitary body wipe. Not the flushable wipes, the big ones you use to bathe invalids. Use the whole thing on your entire asscrack up to the base of your balls. Congratulations your ass is now cleaner than if you took a shit at home without taking a shower.

>>2818736
This guy knows what's up.

>>2818639
it's this op, can also be achieved or supplemented with prunes, dried mango, more fruits legumes and veg in one's diet

physically, find a mid-size downed tree and sit on it with ass hanging over the edge. for <week trips i pack out rather than dig (dog shit bags + pringles or tennis ball can or empty pb jar) mostly due to location and being lazy. you can add a lil dry bleach for odor control

The trick is to take fiber and avoid fast food for at least 1 or 2 weeks. I do this before any backpacking trip and it works really well. Your shits will be so clean you'll have an ass eating party around the campfire.

>>2818244
>I am an animal. I don't bother with shovels or hiding the poop or paper
Based and same.

FIBER

and drop logs

Fiber and protein. Can't get shit on you if it comes out as dry, rock hard logs.

Not OP, but thanks for the advice guys- specifically about the fiber

>>2818266
>i've been used to a biden since i was a kid
damn, how is your anus anon?

>>2818130 (OP)
Just use baby wipes BUT, rinse them before use, that way they won't irritate your balloon knot

shave your asshole and you get 1 wipe shits every time. there's no way around it. it is gay. but your ass will smell less