Here's whats about to happen: Iran is going to infect the USS Nimrod with the STUXNET virus, which was unleashed upon the Iranian nuclear program and caused the centerfuges to spin too rapidly, fucking shit up!! Well, they SAVED A COPY of the virus, and they're about to use it to commit a terrorist attack!!

The Stuxnet virus will force the propellers of the USS Nimrod to accelerate the ship rapidly. Because the aircraft carrier is flat and shaped like a wing, IT WILL LITERALLY TAKE OFF AND FLY all the way to New York, where it will make a miraculous LEFT BANK and obliterate the statue of Liberty!! Holy fuck!!

Then.... at the same time... a nuclear SUBMARINE will also meet the same fate!! Its accelerated propellers will cause it to LEAP out of the water, and land on the dock on Coney Island!! This will cause a slow motion ripple effect which will launch women and children into the air!! Also, while the sub is still in the air, it will be shotting all of its guns and missiles too!! So random people will be getting shot and random buildings in the background will be hit by missiles!! But it gets worse: when the sub bellyflops, its NUCLEAR PAYLOAD will explode, obliterating part of New York!!

But the horror doesn't end there. Next, the modified Stuxnet virus will cause plane engines to spin TOO SLOW!! So all the planes won't be able to take off, they'll be driving around like cars on the road!!! The wings will be hitting lampposts, causing them to topple and crush some people!!! Shit!!!

(This report was composed by the Royal Canadian Beaver Force.)