Thread 508187628

>pull up to my Barratt new build home with my 25 year fixed rate mortage in my grey Audi A3 on finance after a hard days work as deputy assistant head of sales targeting

>open the boot and take out my River Island and Superdry bags with the new gear I bought on the way home from work

>open the door

>yell hello to my wife of 2-years in the kitchen as she is already home from her work as a Team Leader in a call centre

>sit down on my leather sofa bought on sale at Sofology (haha I love those adverts, what is that sloth like haha, love sloths me)

>put up my feet on the IKEA table

>whap on the telly and tune in just in time to see Bradders going through the rules of the final chase with the contestants who made it through before they face Anne Hegarty

>perfect timing as my wife comes in with the dinner, another one of Jamie Oliver's cracking 30 minute meals

>tuck in as I pretend to listen to my wife's stories from her day at work

>send a cheeky snap to Smithster and Deano to see if they can come round for the champions league match later to watch it on the ol' Sony Bravia, maybe sneak in a few rounds of Fifa '25 on the PS5 first, bloody Smithster ignoring the rule of no tap-ins what a melt haha

>when the wife's gone to bed, pop a molly, some yay, a joint and some whiskey be a Freeman! Before reading about the Kieran Rus

At no time did you honor the king. Shame!

>>508187628 (OP)
>Then anon woke up from his dream
> Only to realise he live in a 1 bedroom apartment that he shares with Abdul.

>>508187762
We don’t honour sausage fingers

I don't get it.

>>508187628 (OP)
I moved in to a new build in November and all my neighours are this exact person.

>walk home from the small town recycling plant
>long day sorting bags, piles of trash knee deep
>small home built for a poor man, thin walls
>sit down and kick off my work boots
>redneck woman brings me chili
>street cat jumps in my lap
>I eat the chili, tasty, warm
>so tired I just fall asleep
>wake up, cat in my lap
>walk to the bedroom
>lean up against her
>warm, I love her
>fall asleep

>>508189205
>five years ago, wake up in the ghetto
>big demonstration, I walk to the White House
>big crowds are gathered in Lafayette Square
>a cop killed a man that he wasn't supposed to kill
>I have a speech in my pocket, wrote it myself in the ghetto
>my handwriting is bad, damp from sweat, long walk in Summer
>there is a young black woman with a megaphone making chants
>I ask her if I can use her megaphone to deliver a speech to the people
>She seems unsure but then hands me the megaphone and I face the crowds
>I pull my speech out of my pocket and unfold it, carefully, worn piece of paper
>I call for the overthrow of the government of the United States
>I pour out my heart at the top of my lungs
>The crowd is moved and cheers
>A reporter approaches me
>I refuse to give my name
>Another man is speaking
>The crowd pushes him out

>>508188063
>25 year fixed rate mortage
On a house guaranteed to start falling down after 10.

>>508190217
I rent and get a good deal so not too bothered t b h

>>508190026
>night falls after
>the city is on fire
>the military deployed
>armored cars, helicopers
>lines soldiers all with rifles
>blocking off the streets
>flames everywhere
>graffiti all over
>see a dead man
>he is flat on the street
>the government killed him
>they ferry him on an ambulance
>I walk up to the lines of the soldiers
>They do not even notice me approaching
>I tell him that I am trying to get to Lafayette Square
>All the soldiers freeze up and go silent, they stare anxiously
>He points me some other direction, it's a lie
>A crowd of protestors gets tear gassed
>I see rioters try to break a window
>The rock bounces off and fails
>I walk home to the ghetto

>>508190599
>five years later
>back down South
>laying asphalt road
>working for the county
>a coworker approaches me
>he is a federal informant, a Muslim
>I am under investigation as a Jihadist
>He tells me that he does not like Jews
>He wants to learn more about Islam
>He is a black man, found Islam
>While serving time in prison
>Struggles with alcohol
>Misses his prayers
>Has two sons
>He is CIA
>They threaten to kill his sons
>He wants me to talk about Jihad
>To talk about Hamas and Palestine
>I tell him: The highest Jihad is inside us
>It is to obey Allah and avoid all sins
>I say his Jihad is to quit alcohol
>And go home to be a father
>We part seperate ways
>His rusty old trailer
>My small home
>And my garden
>The street cat
>The flowers

>>508187944
nu-rich peasant adulting

Therefore the queen of england

Sadly deceased miss Elizabeth granted the island Lennox to the chilean nation, by all effective legal purposes