>in mid 30s
>ugly beta male
>never been on date, had a gf, or had any woman show any interest in me
>was an ugly loser without friends all through adult life, including university and all my jobs

What a humiliation ritual. It kind of hit me again in the past day how totally discarded I have been by everyone in society, in every way after the age of 18. Going into university was hellish for me as an ugly beta male. I still remember the first week of university where there was almost a party environment on campus and I didn't talk to anyone.

Another thing that's hitting me lately is my previous job, which required me to go in the office for most of the week. I'd sit in this open plan area with people in their 20s and 30s who socialised a lot and I always felt so fucking awkward being there and being the outcast. I ended up always going to the random desks at the side of the building to work. I could never go to the after work social events and it had a stack ranking performance system.

Another horrendous memory that came up: having pair dancing lessons in PE in school at the age of 13 or 14 and being humiliated for weeks because all the girls were so disgusted to be near me.

I'm also really resenting having had to come into contact with the bottom 80% of the population. I'm not a genius but I have to be really fucking honest.

>>508196518 (OP)
Go to the gym.

>>508196518 (OP)
Do you at least have money? find a trade and restart your life bro, it ain't over yet. Even autistic nerds get girlfriends, theres gotta be at least one that would fit you.

>>508196518 (OP)
Not politics but...
Your issue is that you have been so pre-occupied by your own self-loathing that you have been sabotaging your own life over it. Those people at university would have likely been more than happy to socialize with you but you were too shy to approach them. Now at work, you're running away from your colleagues, not even giving them a chance to get to know you even though they are more than likely too worried about their own lives to judge you for "not socializing enough in your youth". If you just keep running away from people of course you're gonna end up as an outcast. Also everyone is awkward at 13/14.maybe those girls were just scared of stepping on your toes and you interpreted it as them being disgusted, either way you should not be worrying about shit that happened 20 years ago

>>508196518 (OP)
people like you only exists because they're aren't enough wars. you're peak pikeman material, born to be impaled by your french counterpart's spear or beheaded by a sabre from a charging horseman. be happy you're lucky enough to be born in modern times where expendable, unloveable, uggos like you are allowed to exist despite poisoning the eyes of all who are unfortunate enough to gaze in your direction.

You can change that(the past) but what do i know

Posting here will surely improve your life.

>>508196518 (OP)
>I feel left out by the 80%
>I don't like the 80% and don't want to socialize with them
You guys always have this absurd contradictory complex. Like incels who want a gf and do everything in their power to hate women and be as revolting to them as possible. I stay away from people like you because you only pretend to want help but actually you like your self-created misery.

>>508196518 (OP)
Stop living in your head faggot, thats what women do. You're feminized.
99% of your thoughts are fantasy, you should be ignoring almost everything.
Trust only in thoughts that are backed by logic and evidence.

>>508196518 (OP)
>feel ugly with low self esteem
>I know, I won’t try to be cool or funny
>in fact I’ll look down on most people, I’m so le smart and red pilled.
>I’ll constantly avoid people, look down when I walk and never confront my social awkwardness
>waaahhh society rejects me waaahhh

You 100% did it to yourself. Ugly people have friends and socialize. It’s called being funny, interesting to talk to, knowing how to relate to people etc. you won’t get pussy as easily but that’s still also possible. You play the game like a woman, wanting to just be there and hope someone sees the value in you by just existing and not actually doing something about it.

Your problem isn’t being ugly, it’s being a fucking narcissistic pussy.

>>508196518 (OP)
Wash your penis

its not the world. its you. you know that too. just came here for a pity party. look at all the shitskins thriving just outside your window. they came here from literal hellholes and you ruminate about being bullied at 13 lmaoing @ ur life

>>508196518 (OP)
you're just playing hard mode anon, stop complaining and:
> hit the gym
> study more
> get a better job with a decent salary
> if you're really horrendous, make some plastic surgery or something

>>508196518 (OP)
>"I didn't talk to anyone"
your own damn fault
imagine being fucking shy in AD 2025

1pbtid negative attention thread.

>>508196518 (OP)
I personally think your simply a male without greek archetypes that have no relevance to being a male
alpha and beta males do not exist they make this stuff up to create delusions with modern society

and the worst thing of all, you're a frogspamming reddit faggot too

>>508196518 (OP)
No amount of effort will change anything for you. People just lie about this because they believe what they want and not what is reality.

>>508198045
This is shit advice because OP's problem comes 100% from his head. No amount of "self-improvement" bullshit will magically turn an introverted autist into a social butterfly, at worst you will end up like Elon Musk where you have everything except people who genuinely enjoy your company

>>508196518 (OP)
Our nervous systems are wired to protect us. These narratives you have created are done so to protect yourself. You likely won't find much compassion here, as the majority of the people here are suffering in their own ways and lash out. You will serve as an outlet for their suffering.

My first suggestion would be to try to be kinder to yourself. Treat yourself like a child you care about. It is not easy when we harbor self hatred. Life has not been going the way you wanted it to, or the way you expected it to. Aim for "neutrality", not necessarily positivity. It won't feel good shifting things because your nervous system is used to going down certain neural pathways.

Secondly, I suggest getting a therapist that does EMDR and Ego-States interventions. You have been interpreting things in a certain way for a while, ways that just keep bringing you down. You likely have avoidance, so finding a therapist will be challenging, but what have you got to lose? It's their job, they see it all the time, and as hard as it is to believe, some actually do want to be helpful.

Lastly, go back further. If you felt wanted/like you mattered as a child, and had the necessary resources emotionally when puberty hit, you wouldn't have been hit so hard when disappointment hit. THAT'S where the core wounds reside. People focus on sex and women here, but quite often they are individuals who have never felt wanted period. It isnt about the women. It's about the core human experience of wanting belonging.

>>508199377
>OP's problem comes 100% from his head
taking care of your health (like hitting the gym) massively affects your mental health anon.