>>508243560 (OP) I would force feed him sufganiyot until he inflates big and round and then I would amputate his arms and legs and cauterize the stumps and then I would lock his fattened limbless torso into a capsule with tubes to force in food and remove foecal matter and urine and then I would keep him in my NetanPod, stored securely in my closet, keeping him alive with regular sufganiyot insertion