>pull up to my Barratt new build home with my 25 year fixed rate mortage in my grey Audi A3 on finance after a hard days work as deputy assistant head of sales targeting

>open the boot and take out my River Island and Superdry bags with the new gear I bought on the way home from work

>open the door

>yell hello to my wife of 2-years in the kitchen as she is already home from her work as a Team Leader in a call centre

>sit down on my leather sofa bought on sale at Sofology (haha I love those adverts, what is that sloth like haha, love sloths me)

>put up my feet on the IKEA table

>whap on the telly and tune in just in time to see Bradders going through the rules of the final chase with the contestants who made it through before they face Anne Hegarty

>perfect timing as my wife comes in with the dinner, another one of Jamie Oliver's cracking 30 minute meals

>tuck in as I pretend to listen to my wife's stories from her day at work

>Whip out the top shelf Dubai Chocolate for dessert

>send a cheeky snap to Smithster and Deano to see if they can come round for the champions league match later to watch it on the ol' Sony Bravia, maybe sneak in a few rounds of Fifa '25 on the PS5 first, bloody Smithster ignoring the rule of no tap-ins what a melt haha

>when the wife's gone to bed, pop a molly, some yay, a joint and some whiskey be a Freeman! Before reading about the Kieran Rus

>>508980002 (OP)
What's the problem cunt

>>508980002 (OP)
A fate worse than death

>>508980002 (OP)
Dream life compared to mine

>>508980002 (OP)
i wish i had such a nice life

Why do you feel the need to paint your face? Same with the ladies. Nothing wrong with being white. They try and teach you self-hatred. That you are wrong just for being born. They hate a child just for being white.

God made you how you are. Racism is haram, and that applies to white people as well. Respect yourself. You have dug yourself into a hole of guilt and shame for things you did not even do. Depression, drugs, confusion, atheism.

Come back to God, white man, get yourself out of that mess. Someone does care about your plight, I invite you to Islam.

>>508980002 (OP)
For anybody wondering, yes there are lots of Brits exactly like this. The meme is very accurate.

>>508981356
Muslims also act like that, there used to be a paki deano version of the copypasta floating around

>>508983761
>pull up to my shithole terraced victorian era house in Sparkbrook in my white BMW 3 series with personalised numberplate 'PAK1 B055' I bought on finance with money from selling weed.
>open the boot and take out my Selfridges and Zara bags with the Stone Island jacket and Gucci trainers I spent all my wages on
>open the door
>yell Salam to my Mom and 10 siblings, slap my little bro in the face for being cheeky bhenchod
>sit down on my leather sofa our uncle Assad gave us
>Spit out all my phlegm in the sink, then roll out the prayer mat
>Tuck into some leftover curry as I pretend to listen to my Mom telling me I'm a family failure for not training to be a doctor like my cousin Whaleed
>drive recklessly to the gym with boys Harmzy and Abbas, don't signal at junctions and tailgate every car in front whilst playing some dutty bangers on radio 1 xtra
>Perv at all the white girls at the gym (gorri bitches) and spend the entire session snapchatting myself tensing in the mirror
>Mention multiple times how all white girls are slags
>swear down all the kuti are checking me out (see the way she lookin at me she on2 me i swear bro)
>say "kusmeh bro" regularly in conversation
>go shisha lounge and a mixed grill later in the Mailbox, add a further 20 snapchats to my story
>drink brandy and whiskey with coke all night because I think I look hard (non-alcoholi tho enni)

>>508983842
this is so specific that it was certainly written by a bitter 4chan britistani

>stable income
>happy
>friend circle
>healthy tan
>has sex
>has own transport

>>508983970
>no kids

why take all that responsibility and debt just to wank yourself off? his life is also entirely dependent on his bird not shagging another deano since it's all double income

I’m loving this new shitpost

>owns a normal person gaming console
>has never had to google how to use cracked exes or patches or obscure windows gaming software from pre-2010
>affords 3-4 vacations per year
>happily married
>has a wife that cooks
>doesn't know what depression is
>lives in a new home
>has a huge smart TV
>enjoys luxurious treats
>new luxurious furniture
>gets to give orders at work
>drives luxury car

>>508980002 (OP)
i like crystal castles what does that mean

>>508984569
Deano doesn't know who they are even though all he talks about is music

>>508984718
deanos a good lad, hearts in the right place

>>508984569
>i like crystal castles
Utter shite mate

>>508985326
i like to listen to them while i drive really fast on the interstate on my commute to work and enter a trance state

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySU4CabKQ2A

>>508984569
Delta Dawn was going to be taken to a palace in the sky? Is the castles the same thing?

>>508984454
Just needleneck middle class types and/or shitskins with a deep hatred of the Deano and his ability to find joy in a normal life

>>508985486
Trash
Put on some happy hardcore or positive ambient for motorway journeys you absolute melt

>>508980002 (OP)
Test

>>508980002 (OP)
>Based fellow Essex boy
We like a laugh, we ain't perfect, far from it, but we're normal. And we're generally nice.

>>508981356
Based Arab bro respecting other people. But I have to disagree - he clearly doesn't hate himself. But I understand religion can be a good thing for some people and your concern is valued.

>>508985550
No need for racism ere bruv - we all orange down on the Estuary innit

>>508985982
Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.

>>508980002 (OP)
based life. just add a couple of little braddles running around & he's set

>>508986129
I have to agree, racists are a bunch nig- I mean, negronis, haha innit.