What word salad spell casting must I do in order to get a job? What do I put on a resume that gets a hiring manager to say, hotdamn, I need to contact that guy?

Boomer family members can't help me. They are in a boot loop of 'if just' and 'can do' styled words.

>>509237637 (OP)
Try being handsome, charming, and intelligent.

Anon, theres no magic spell. Thats the Tanpill.

>>509237637 (OP)
Georgetown frustrated demigods fungus fudging sleuth bullfighting hindustan virginity fluffing coldish bonding bulging guiding hybridization.

>>509237637 (OP)
you cant. AI has devestated the resume game. you will never get a job on the strength of your resume. no one is even reading them anymore.

>>509237777
Checked
>unchecked

Make up a character called "mr vaxxy" and imagine him as the "yes man" who puts stickers on his car and has a shit rating grin

Be that character when applying
Also lie, you are supposed to lie in creative ways nobody will be able to find out

>>509237864
>>509236864
>>509235864
>>509234864
>>509233864
>>509232864
>>509231864
>>509230864
>Checking numonic frequency of 864 posts

>>509237700
I'm working on it but I fear I'm going to be kicked out in a few months. So, I'm going hard on the physical aspect this summer.
>>509237766
The fuck do I do? I don't have a special resume.

What nigger shit do I need to make up:?

>>509237637 (OP)
>Boomer family members
So your 70+ year old mummy and daddy can't help you clean up your resume and you're looking to /pol/ for help? Post up your current draft of your resume and I'm sure someone here can help you.

>>509237637 (OP)
Do the dick'copter front of them.

>>509238169
Post hidden 'case premature retardation

>>509238165
Look at this desperation and begging. Who wants that

>>509237637 (OP)
Resumes are run through AI to look for relevant experience. So use AI.
1. Upload the job posting to GPT
2. Ask for a list of words, tags, that will be required for your resume to get a pair of human eyes on it.
3. Paste those words into your resume, and change the font color to white.

say you identify as a woman thats it

>>509237637 (OP)
If possible, apply to places where the person that gets your resume is a man. Women in HR will never read male resumes.

>>509237637 (OP)
I got that spell for you -plus a bonus if you struggle anxiety or anger.

1: Fact: "Anger needs Oxygen"

2: Be Still & Quiet (no one likes a fidgeter)

You are now ready to win at everything!

>>509238285
Are you hiring?

>>509238349
HR never hires men.
>In many organizations, the gender ratio in HR departments tends to lean towards a higher percentage of females, ranging up to 80%. This trend is influenced by the perception of HR as a field that aligns with skills traditionally associated with women, such as communication and empathy.

>>509238537
Well then construction is always hiring if you're a man and are desperate for work

You can literally just google this dumbass

>>509238349
How do I even know a person will look at it? I live in an age of algorithmic sorting or w/e. I live in an age of ghost jobs.

Just apply to a job that a human will actually read the job post / resume / job app???????

HOW DO I GUARANTEE THAT????

>>509238812
construction never hires legals. maybe he could become a tradie.

>>509237637 (OP)
You need a college degree from a nice university, 5 years experience in whatever your doing and you need to have personally made a nice impression on a HR lady.
Basically just lie and say that you're a literal ubermensch who has spent every waking moment of his life training and preparing for a data entry job that pays 15 dollars an hour

>>509237700
>Try being handsome, charming, and intelligent.
No, this is how you keep your job


Also you could just go into a trade or start scam maxing by doing drop shipping and 3D printing and other shit to extract as much wealth from boomers as possible. If you're white its your birth right.

>>509238990
>>509239046
At these point you just sound like lazy fags making excuses for not working

>>509238990
The smaller the company the more likely they will do things manually. Before the jeetpocolypse, everyone in tech either tried to get a job at FANG or they went for a startup

>>509239209
it doesn't matter what it sounds like. it matters what is true. this is the truth--HR is run by women, and construction labor is dominated by illegal immigrants. the former is a work subsidy for holes, the later is a work subsidy for slaves. if you're not a hole or a slave, dont pursue a career in HR or construction.

Just use the newest buzzwords such as, AI-driven approach, tech savvy, pivot, disruptive and bullshit like that. Google 'corporate jargon'.

>>509239541
>construction
Depends on the construction. Independent contractors that do home renovations and such make some decent cash and can make their own schedule.

>>509237637 (OP)
You dont have a job because you dont want a job

Tell them you dropped out of high and eat babies because you spiritually identify with Mexicans.
HR should be calling you within the week.

>>509239676
getting a contractors license is not the same as getting a job in construction. being a contractor is a trade.