>>509835658 (OP)I thought I was a cold bastard but then I moved somewhere near a nature preserve and there's a long winding road through it to my house. Unfortunately there is no turtle fence and the turtles try to cross the road a lot during some seasons.
I saw one with a cracked shell breathing heavily on the side of the road. I couldn't stop because it was one lane and people pushing.
I broke down. I couldn't take it anymore. I cried a lot and I suffered a lot of chest pain.
The pain of the world the suffering of untold millions of people and animals since the beginning of time collapsed on me. The idea that there could possibility be enough beauty and joy in the world to make up for the suffering seemed like an obvious childish fantasy.
Darkness consumed my soul for days and despair. I was in a numb and zombie state.
That was 5 years ago and I am a changed man.