>Be me, 30, Estonia.
Was bright kid, big dreams — wanted to build a business, study ecology, be someone.

Discovered alcohol and weed at 15, other drugs at 21. Went to psychiatrist age 27
Xanax was a miracle at first: no anxiety, no overthinking, social god mode.

Fast forward: daily use, 2-4mg easy, sometimes more.
Chased with vodka.

Woke up in strange apartments, dents in car I couldn’t remember.
Crashed into a ditch once, came to with cops knocking on window. Went to jail to detox.
Didn’t care.

Lost my emotions.
Nothing brought pleasure anymore — not food, not sex, not friends.
Brain felt like static.

Spent years living like a ghost: wake up, pop pill, survive, repeat.

Eventually tried to overdose with 30mg xanax 2l vodka and other shit. Tolerance too high, didnt die. Checked into rehab 2 months ago. Got out 2 weeks ago.

Now?
On tiny dose 2mg xanax daily with ssris and sleeping pills (no alcohol), still tapering to avoid seizures.
Liver tired, brain fogged, money gone, criminal record from DUI.
But I try tostart uni this fall. Trying to rebuild something from the ashes. Feeling suicidal 95% of the time still.

Moral of story: that little pink pill steals your soul slow and fast. Worse than any other drug.

If you’re still early — run.

I’ll keep fighting. Maybe there’s a comeback arc left.

>>510370558 (OP)
Go to bed, Jordan

I believe in you anon.

>>510370558 (OP)
>Chukhna peasant has a defective brain
Oh no, anyway

>>510370558 (OP)
Filtered

Did you use it daily? For how long?

>>510370558 (OP)
Your brain will go back to normal but it'll take time. I smoked a ton of weed everyday for 11 years and when I quit my brain experienced pretty extreme schizophrenia that lasted almost an entire year. Now it's been 3 years and I'm totally rehabbed

>>510370558 (OP)
I was prescribed 2mg a day for like 8 years and now I feel like I have alzheimers
Single biggest mistake of my life

>>510370558 (OP)
"doctors" prescribing this shit must to be lynched in the streets. So many Europeans were ruined by this because they felt sad at some moment in their life.
Fuck the pharmajew industry

>>510370558 (OP)
Become an Indian and prepare to reroll life.

enjoy degenerate retard

>>510371447
Then don't let go of spirit healing. Physicians were all nothing more than barber-quacks selling suggestions until the science of causing cancer came. Now they demonstrably worship money and don't care about people. The ADA even cause abortions for their hexes.
Live more ascetically while studying and practicing and it will come to you. We are all gonna make it.

>>510370558 (OP)
>Maybe there’s a comeback arc left.

Of this there is no doubt - the Lord Jesus Christ has a plan for you OP, please speak with Him, bring everything to Him, lay it all before His cross and ask for help, and you will be healed. All glory to God!

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeKppPL-Emo

>>510370558 (OP)
>here's my totally not fake story about a life and death struggle
>1 post by this id

>>510372063
Our bodies are great healers. I know that miracles happen but also there are slow healing processes that can repair the s/called permanent neural or chemical changes they say occur.

>>510371441
there's a lot of drugs that can do that
I take a bunch seizure meds and feel like that on days
I'm literally fucked up so I just roll with it and laugh

>>510371348
Kind of curious how your worldview changed after that. How do you survive an entire year like that?

>I was a bright kid
You know when women tell you things like you're "bright" it's because a bunch of Jews, that subverted the media and education system tried this thing called "positive self esteem". That the reason why people did poorly in life was because they weren't getting enough praise and if you boosted their self esteem, they'd do better.

The opposite is true. When you're very young and told things like you're "bright" (is rote learning a bunch of bullshit from the state curriculum really a sign of intelligence or obedience?). It also sets great expectations for you and your life. Which, if it's based on a lie (and it very often is) you will only be unhappy when you don't meet these (unrealistic) expectations put on you by people who are themselves just failures.

And this now opens up a new opportunity: Jewish pharma gets to give you pills so that it masks your emotions in having been set up in this way.

>Discovered alcohol and weed at 15, other drugs at 27
And if you were really that bright you'd have stayed away from that shit. That's another massive fucking lie from Hollywood movies, this idea of the "damaged" genius. Like in Good Will Hunting. The guy is a genius but he had a bad childhood, then got into fights and drank and could only hold down a janitor job. Complete bullshit that's designed to make retards believe they too could be some unrecognised genius. It's very cruel to do this. It's the same with trying to tell someone without wealthy parents or lots of connections that they could be a billionaire some day if they just "worked harder". That meme is so that the plebs stay good little worker bees. You were played and you should be incredibly angry being deceived in this way.

>>510372352
Ive posted this thread 2 times already in 2 months. Some anons remember me. Still checkin in

>>510372521
reply to the other people commenting on your actual post not the one guy pointing out you stopped replying

>>510372521
yea I remember, I talked to you before
I guarantee you didn't take anyones advice and are just here for attention again
everyone told you to start talk therapy and attend church and I bet you did neither

>>510370558 (OP)
Because something is legal it does not mean it's safe to use.

>>510372850
Im doing therapy hard. Like weekly psychiatrist and psycholigists. Prayed to god few times and have had stroke of luck with some things in lifw. But still suicidal and 0 drive to do anything but sleep

>>510370558 (OP)
What a trash human being you are

>>510370558 (OP)
>study ecology, be someone.
stopped reading there

>>510370558 (OP)
I would get rid of the SSRIs

They aren't safe

try to get rid of Xanax as well

That's the problem with xanax. It works wonders but only if you have extreme self discipline. I take around 0.2mg max when I need it and try to avoid it. I'm going through a very hard time and it's hard to resist the temptation though

>>510370558 (OP)
switch to Gabapentine for mood + Etifoxine for anxiety, if doesn't help, Lamotrigine (also for seizures)

Benzos are one-way street with insanity in the end.

>>510371348
Bullingto Shittly. Your name. King of misinfo and crapola.

>>510373246
I know. If i werent such a pussy i wouldve offed myself many times, always chicken out or not overdoseing enough

>>510372507
>That the reason why people did poorly in life was because they weren't getting enough praise and if you boosted their self esteem, they'd do better.
>
>The opposite is true.
You did a good job expressing your stance but I still believe both are true. I non-verbal cues like body language, the way teachers unintentionally seat, punish, and send negative energy to students. A defiant student can take that negative energy and grow from it but that is not The Way for all student's and it is the responsibility of teachers to read the students. When teachers do that, they are appreciated and I am personally grateful that through my perils, I had some teachers above the FUD who exhausted they selves notwithstanding the entire bullshit schooling system.

A classroom needs good feng shui for example to facilitate learning.
>If you do not agree that feng shui exists:
Can you at least admit that architecture and room design influences our emotions? There is art as buildings that inspire as as well as set designs on Big Brother and reality TV that are psychologically skewed to cause conflict and people to be angry at each other... compulsory schools in America are an evolution of the mental asylums were people were re-socialized. Netflix's Love is Blind is really NPCs watching people be psychologically tortured into vulnerability so they latch onto love. For me, Palladio's architecture that allowed the air element to pass through freely inspires me. You can follow his work to learn how air can cool things down and carry sonics. Science is elemental.

There's so much to Subtle Energy and making a place where learning is natural that the West doesn't understand these days and in the East they are not even using to make the best thinkers and dreamers and do-ers they can produce.

>>510373719
Im on lamotrigine 2x 100mg and 1.2k mg gabapentin already. I had my first seizure last year while on lamictal.

Basically gaba hits like 10% of what xanax for me. Problem is that i am alcoholic so these medication dont help

>>510372491
I developed some delusions about aliens/spirits watching me and gambling on my actions. Anything bad that happened to me was them trying to fuck with me and get me to crack. I could hear them positively talking about how I was different when I'd wake up at 4am every morning to hit the gym, or laugh at me when I did something stupid like make a mistake repairing my truck or get fast food. After a while it all just went away. I had started a business which kept me grounded talking to new people everyday and it was also the tail end of COVID so everyone was a little strange and probably didn't even notice anything was off with me. Only time I ever really cracked was if I started drinking the schizophrenia would get really bad and id be shutting off all the circuit breakers and trying to build a faraday cage for my PC/phones in the house. Once I was convinced that the government was tracking me and watching me with actual flies. Went on a lot of rants about Jews too but I still do that sometimes.

>>510370558 (OP)
I'm the same way but with suboxone. These fuckers told me it was non-addictive and had no withdrawal. Ended up being a million times worse than the opiates I was on. 6 weeks minimum withdrawal. May as well be a thousand years. The day this shit becomes unavailable, my life is over.

The SSRI's are doing the majority of the damage to you.
I was on Effexor as a kid and it really messed me up. Then Celexa later and it made me do many things im not proud of.
I also used to get these insane stomach pains every day from taking it that would make me black out from the pain.
It was hard to stop taking them, brain zaps when i looked around etc, but I did and I will never go back to that shit ever.
You don't need Xanax but you ESPECIALLY don't need it during the day.

That said, my favorite pasttime as a street junkie back in the day was to drive around on xanax and black tar and fall asleep at stop signs. Never felt a peace more close to death.
>fall asleep while driving
>wake up next town over
>wake up one time to being in handcuffs, nude, covered in peanut butter. I think I was trying to make waffles? Wasnt my house
>fall asleep while driving on bridge, hit guard rail, cops come to my location later on to ask me about it, they cant prove anything so i get let go

fuck me man, how am I even alive?

>>510373194
Your suicidal and depressed because there is nothing to believe in.
I told you before where to find your salvation.
Go to Church, participate in the community, listen, pay attention, maybe you will make some frens, and maybe meet a girl.

>>510370558 (OP)
>Discovered alcohol and weed at 15, other drugs at 21. Went to psychiatrist age 27
these are all self-owns. what the fuck is wrong with you? did your parents never take you to the bad side of town and show you a bunch of homeless and say "these are druggies that failed out of school, do not be a failure like them" ?

>>510370558 (OP)
I got up to like 4-6 mg of klonopin at some point. I would get my script then head into Minneapolis to pick up more from this weirdo guy. I always had pins. But I tapered down, didn't sleep for like 2 weeks. I ended up laughing and crying at the same time one day. Anyway yeah it's bad, but quitting is possible. You feel a lot better once youre not reliant on pills. Then I got on baclofen to stop drinking years later. Now that shit is scary. Fun though too. They just send them out in the mail and thats that.

>>510371348
Weed ain't shit compared to real drugs. Piece of cake quitting that shit. Go kick this guy's benzos cold-turkey and get back to us. It's a lot different.

>>510370558 (OP)
>On tiny dose 2mg xanax daily with ssris and sleeping pills (no alcohol), st
But Xanax IS a sleeping pill. Are you taking Xanax with the Xanax?

>>510374237
>I developed some delusions about aliens/spirits watching me and gambling on my actions. Anything bad that happened to me was them trying to fuck with me and get me to crack. I could hear them positively talking about how I was different when I'd wake up at 4am every morning to hit the gym, or laugh at me when I did something stupid like make a mistake repairing my truck or get fast food.
A very normal story for God's Chosen.
I recommend this song and following its recommendation to
>read Job verse 2 so u can do it 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYcgzjeQr0w

>>510370558 (OP)
>Eventually tried to overdose with 30mg xanax 2l vodka and other shit. Tolerance too high, didnt die
Same here, was suicidal years ago, took a handful of about 20 Xanax and a dozen or so Valium, chased it down with a bottle of Black Label, only thing that happened was that I woke up with the worst fucking hangover of my life.
It’s not easy to OD on benzos, regardless of what the Jews tell you.

>>510374534
I mean it shouldn't be prescribed for sleep but it does work that way, if you want to ruin your life anyway

>>510374387
how was baclofen?
did you feel like you would get addicted to it?
they've been floating that to me for my neck pain as I have brainstem damage and had cranial nerve surgery

>>510370558 (OP)
It's ok soon russia will invade estonia and you guys will have a heroic motive in your lives

>>510374440
I'm still on methadone 60mg a day due to all the shit I did in my youth decades ago. without it i go into massive withdrawls. People that say weed is addictive are weak and have no fucking clue what actual chemical dependence looks like

benzos are based. wish i was still prescribed them. nothing like tearing through an entire scrip in one weekend

>>510374655
Its extremely addictive simply because of the half life. It you dont take it you WILL have a seizure starting in your back muscles. Almost happened to me once. Same anxiety as benzos with withdrawal. It does help you stop drinking but only as long as you keep taking it.

>>510370558 (OP)
Most horrible rehab possible but it gets better with time.

>>510370558 (OP)
Because of dumb cunts like you, people who actually need these drugs can't get them prescribed nowadays. Fuck off with your pity party.

>>510374534
Yea and i also pop zopiclone daily. My psychiatrist just prescribes me alot of drugs which get me high. Lucky

>>510374178
>1.2k mg gabapentin already

Oh boy. I take 300 (rarely 600) on occasion for fun and leisure (I'm old so MDMA is not for me anymore) and it makes me very high. I would probably turn into an animal from 1200.

>>510374974
>zopiclone
Start cutting down on it first. It probably gets you so drowsy during the next day, so you have to take even more meds to combat that effect

Same. Death by despair is my biggest fear. Thanks a lot Trump.

>>510375016
Bro i took all 50 pills 300mg with alcohol and xanax. Felt pretty chill like smoked weed. I feel nothing from 1200mg a day

>>510374801
How does it help you stop drinking?
I take a seizure med, oxcarbazepine, which is an upgrade from carbamazepine I used to take for years. They used to prescribe carbamazepine to get people to stop drinking as it would make you incredibly nauseous from a single drink.
I tried to drink on it once and thought I was going to die, was it something like that? Stopped drinking years ago because of those meds but I was never a heavy drinker.

>>510374755
Know how you feel. I'm in the same boat with suboxone. My biggest fear is running out. Tried to kick it, made it 7 days, and it didn't let up even a tiny bit. That's when I learned the withdrawals are like 4x as long / bad than the shit I used to take. Would be easier to just get back on dope and quit that. Only takes a week there. I can do that but it's brutal. Longer than a week is insane. Fucked up part is that, even if I wanted to do that, I'd have to quit suboxone cold-turkey for like 5-8 days because it blocks them for so long.

>>510375016
how the fuck do you guys get high from gaba
I take 900 daily and I never felt shit but it worked to stop my burning nerve pain
people always tell me this and I am just like what, I have never felt anything from gaba

>>510375190
Well, as a medic in an unrelated field, I would say you have a developed a tolerance to a multitude of substances at once. I would buy a lab scale (like 1mg precision) and start cutting down on every fucking pill you take, with the goal to reduce by 20% each month. You can grind your pills and make very precise doses, just measure right and put the powder in jelatine pill.

>>510375339
>>510375339
No you can still drink on it though its not recommended. Basically it kind of feels like youre already a bit drunk and then you take your next dose and get more silly feeling. You'll still have a small urge but its nothing compared to being sober. Its kind of like you just dont really care about alcohol plus you can drive and blow 0.00 so thats always great, if you smoke weed on it too that can help as well. But it basically makes your cravings go away by making you feel silly. You do have to take larger doses in order to get this effect.

>>510374331
Those homeless are some of the most free of God's Chosen in this country. There's something to their struggles where I think it may be an American reflection of the Aghori in India that exists in response to how poor America has been treated and as a counter-current for the government's worship of money.

>>510375509
Its possible. I felt different with 50x300mg taken all at once

>>510370558 (OP)
You should read up on the orthomolecular (extended fasting) treatment for schizophrenia.... it will help heal your mind if you conduct an extended fast.

https://isom.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/JOM_1974_03_4_12_Controlled_Fasting_Treatment_for_Schizophrenia.pdf

>>510375339
Baclofen is a GABA B agonist and inhibits glutamate release.

>>510370558 (OP) (OP)
You should read up on the orthomolecular (extended fasting) treatment for schizophrenia.... an extended fast is the best treatment for severe mental illness.

https://isom.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/JOM_1974_03_4_12_Controlled_Fasting_Treatment_for_Schizophrenia.pdf

>>510370558 (OP)
You should read up on the orthomolecular (extended fasting) treatment for schizophrenia.... an extended fast is the best treatment for severe mental illness.

https://isom.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/JOM_1974_03_4_12_Controlled_Fasting_Treatment_for_Schizophrenia.pdf

>>510375509
>people always tell me this and I am just like what, I have never felt anything from gaba
I often take it when I bring my kid to the playground. Usually I don't like talking to people, but on gaba, I'm super nice, talking to everyone, getting smiles and hellos. Made a lot of acquaintances just from this stuff. It totally kills my shyness and I don't feel retarded like I usually do (losing the thought before it's my turn to speak etc). It also acts like E in the way how it enhances emotions from music and art. I always take breaks, like 2-7 days, before taking it again.

>>510375707
Ah that can be why.
Gaba is weird, to actually get nerve pain relief takes weeks but it works. It helped a lot with the burning nerves where painkillers so absolutely nothing.

These medicines give you suicidal impulsion.
>>510375994
Fucking normi just kys

The solution to all your problems in life is getting fucked in a gay orgy by men with HIV infected dicks. It will change you, I promise. It's like hitting a reset button in your brain.

>>510375994
oh yea it works really well with anxiety, I see.
I was thinking more along with euphoria that a lot of people chase with drugs.
gaba gets prescribed as off label for anxiety these days, I have access to ativan and it compliments that so I don't have to take it unless I get a real panic attack from nerve pain attacks

>>510370558 (OP)
>If you’re still early — run.
This

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBe_0UIBylY

>>510374655
fasting, prayer, eat healthy, sunlight, walking, good POSTURE, sleep more often with less stress on your back.
your neck will repair itself, maybe Cow dung! That animal gives so much life to us as humans.

>>510370558 (OP)
>chased with vodka
What's the Finnish word for "drug interactions"? :DDDDDD

>>510374755
I think the form of addiction that weed causes is better called habit-forming or habitual.
Its a plant that aides us best in cycles if we allow it in our bodies.

The fact that the govt is still keeping it as a controlled substance rather than just removing the laws on it should be a tell-tale that there is something special to the plant and they want us to be disconnected from how bonding it can be to actually grow it from seed before you let it in your body. Treat the plant with dignity and it will enter your body that way.

>>510370558 (OP)
>Lost my emotions. Nothing brought pleasure anymore — not food, not sex, not friends. Brain felt like static.
Damn, I'm like this and haven't done a single drug in my life.

>>510370558 (OP)
You have 2 options:

1) Keep taking Xan until you snap and just neck yourself.

2) Or, realize you fucked up, realize that this is your ONE shot at life.
That's it.
No redo-s.
Just one.

Realize that you're still young and in your prime and a WHOLE life ahead of you.

This isn't even pandering or some sugar-coating shit, no.
You fucked up. Big time.

But guess what? There is quite LITERALLY no way to go but up from your position--because the alternative is death.

Would death solve this?
Sure, but at what cost?

Never will you shitpost, no beautiful sights, no tears of happiness, or sadness, no beautiful events, music, film, books, comedies, tragedies, family events, love, friendship, betrayal, growth, knowledge, peace.

You lose it ALL.
Nothing is worth that loss, not when the only thing we get gifted to us in this shitty, dark, but beautiful world--is life itself.

Now pick your Estonian ass up, look to the East and realize there are 18 year olds with HAPPY lives that have just been killed by some fucking drone, fighting for their nation when they were chilling and playing video games with zero stress in the world. Robbed of their life.

But YOU came close to throwing it all away.

Fuck it. Tomorrow is never promised. Take a baby step at a time and begin again.

Find kratom, take Ashawagandha, slowly ween yourself off, but force yourself to play an instrument--even if shitty, do a puzzle, sit in nature, go for a walk, write a journal even if its 2 words of "this sucks". Start

Start moving.
The point of EMOTION is literally in its very word, e-MOTION. They are signals for you to move, to fight, to flee, to improve--whatever the emotion is.
If you MOVE, your emotions will also kickstart.

Start moving.

>>510372491
I did it for 3 years straight chronically. Wake up hit it and go to work. My shit was 95% pure THC, butter, and didn’t have a smell that would stick to anything. Most people didn’t even know I did it. There were some signs are usage got heavier though.

Weed actually led me here, I was using it to cope with my shitty life situation at the time. I would say it was beneficial for me for a couple of years of getting through hard times. However, it was problematic when I was just slamming it because I didn’t think there was anything better to do. As some point I stopped seeing myself in the mirror and that’s when I stopped.

Quitting wasn’t hard, night sweats for a week and bad appetite for two weeks. There is like anon said some mental drawbacks. Overtime you can feel yourself normalizing, but you will space out at times like if you were on it, just have to snap out of it.

Now that I’m off of it, I feel like I notice patterns and I have a higher social IQ than before I ever smoked it. I can read situations and draw conclusions that I never thought of before with good accuracy. In a lot of ways it got me out of my shell (Christian household).

I do NOT think it is the white mans drug, it should be used sparingly on occasions or vacations and not in as high % as I did. My life is much better now that I quit. If your life is fine without it, there’s really no reason to try it. If your life is shitty it can help you cope as long as your shitty situation is temporary like mine was. Chronic use is bad and anyone here telling you otherwise gets 0 bitches and doesn’t have a job.

>>510374440
t. Nigger who smoked 17% THC bud and immediately popped pills and shot his veins up because his forehead is sloped and he couldn’t figure out how to inhale.

>>510375190
You need to take it with something fatty to really hit.

Also stop abusing your pills dumbass

>>510376952
Thanks mate

I'm prescribed 3mg a day and it kinda fixed me. I don't even get sleepy when I take Xanax. Literally started a happy family since being on them

>>510370558 (OP)
You're a morn, and an alcoholic.
That vodka you keep chugging is what destroyed your life.
Have some self awareness. It's not that hard.

>>510377419
You will crash down eventually and see hell like OP.

>>510370558 (OP)
There's no way to physically overdose on Xanax pills, like the amount needed is 100x more than you can fit in your stomach and even 30mg would just turn you into a ragdoll and not harm . Did your butt hurt when you woke up?

>>510370558 (OP)
Cool story bro.
Get back to reddir

>>510377767
He literally said that he mixed it with vodka, alcoholo + benzos can kill you.

>>510374331
To be fair, it's normal for everyone here to binge alcohol and drugs at around 15 - 20. You're a loser if you don't drink with your friends at sleepovers or when roaming the streets. Some even did that at school, or already came into school fucked up on something. If it was a field trip, everyone was drunk after the first obligatory piss stop. The point of the field trp was exactly to get waster. And that applied to everyone, including the good students (they hid it better).
I lost all my friends because I refused to participate in that fucking shit.
This is life in Estonia.

>>510370558 (OP)
All psychiatric medication are trash, i was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia because i had only one psychotic episode (probably the vaccine + synthetic cathinones) and they prescribed me aripiprazole and other junk, it literally turn me into a massive junky luckily it was a nothing burger, 2 years clean from all drugs.

>>510377553
No, they can work when not abused like many medications.
I take ativan when I get in panic modes and its a magic drug that fixes me and makes me normal.

>>510370558 (OP)
Just receive a fat load of benzos today. There's no turning back for us.
Life will never feel normal again without them litlle magic pills.

>>510374045
Quality post

>>510377553
I lm prescribed 3mg a day but don't even take them every day and cam go without them for days.

>>510378107
Did you get fat on it? Side effects are increased appetite, and blood clots. Nasty shit.

>>510371348
bullshit it takes a week to get off weed

>>510378716
Wait, i take that back. The guys a charlatan, and also Indian

>>510375685
you're free to live under a bridge in a card board box and pick through trash if you like, but its not the path in life I wanted and its not what I want for my kids.

>>510376731
PERKELE!!!!
well, I was told to simply use that word whenever I could not think of something else to say
>you can do it too

>>510378047
while likely inapplicable advice at this point, but jesus, find a better class of friends if everyone is a crack head. Its no way to go through life.

>>510379033
dude told me to take cow shit to heal my brainstem

>>510370558 (OP)
Dont give up, nigger. You can still turn things around but it's gonna be hell for a while.

>>510370911
Jajajajaj

>>510377917
That didn't work either huh Faggot

>>510374440
weed is an extremely nasty “real drug” zoomie
I’ve seen it ruinin plenty of people’s lives

>30mg xanax 2l vodka and other shit>

WTF!! That's a miracle you survived that!
Clearly you owe someone a lot of money.

>>510370558 (OP)
Thanks for sharing. Feel the same after 9 years drinking and recent legal troubles plus I’m homeless now. This site doesn’t fucking help but at least I can relate to this post. I spend a lot of time staring and listening to my heartbeat. Zero motivation to try and rejoin society. Everyone seems so busy. I feel like women have robbed language from men and they expect us to just know what to do and when, and just do it and shut up. I fucking hate being around, hearing or looking at them. I know I’ll be dead soon but who gives a shit.

Going to meetings made me relative there is nothing impressive about being sober. Just a bunch of attention faggots wanting to share their story.
No different than a blog poster or tripfag.

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/bljyfmO8YkI

>>510377318
You need to go get a hair cut, shave, clean yourself up.
Pull out a nice outfit from your closet, if not go buy one. Nothing fancy, good business casual. Something you think you look good in.
Then this Sunday, get showered, get dressed, look at yourself in the mirror and hey you look pretty good, then go to Church. A Catholic Church.
It will be good, you will feel good. You will met new people, then go get some good food after.
It will be a good day.

>>510379467

Refer to this: >>510376952

Don't focus on women. At all. Focus on taking life one day at a time, because this is the only shot we have.

Even if there is a 1% chance for success, it's always worth it, because more often than not, the process itself is progress towards even a marginally better position than you are in now.

How many countless fucks are we going to find, from all walks of life, from drug addiction, poverty, suicide attempts, messy divorces, family disownment--how many times do we find those people that, years later, find themselves in the position to say "man, those were some fucked up times...dark days. Can't believe it got better".

Don't throw your one chance at life man. Say fuck it, grab it by the balls and focus on YOURSELF, not some random broad.

>>510379033
>>510378716
you guys have very good water in Austria

>>510375865

1971y largely disproven psychologic study, are you retarded?

>>510379112
If you tolerate this, surely your children will too

>>510378797
Of what exactly? Rivatril takes weeks to exit your body completely.

>>510378822
Yes even though the kike doctor was saying it's the disease or some other bs, it was definitely making me binge eating, i gained over 25kg but i lost almost all of them. I wasn't even motivated to go for a walk.

Join the club lol. You’re not special and normies don’t wanna hear about it

>>510370558 (OP)
I believe in you.

>>510380083
I quit cold turkey like a man and only had one tiny seizure.

>>510370558 (OP)
yea my bro had the same shit. normal people dont understand how difficult it is to stop. if you dont have anyone that cares about you, youre basically fucked because no one will stop you. i never take any offense to an insult from a drug addict because I know its not actually 'them' talking to me

>>510370558 (OP)
>Lost my emotions.
yeah that's basically the entire reason behind the existence of XANAX
to lose your emotional compass

>>510379860
implying there's anything either of us can do about "worship of money". Pull your head out of your ass if you think you can fix the system. I'm just saying being a crack head is a bad way to "be free".

>>510370558 (OP)
Whining boozer whines because he had to booze with his cutting edge prescriptions he was forewarned about not mixing with booze, or he was so smart that he hid the booze from them, and so smart that he took both chronically, and now he's a sad panda on 4chan trying to minimize the culpability of his boozery in his neural destruction by blaming the cutting edge treatments he was given. Stupid boozers should be put into a work camp with free booze, only way out is 90 days 100% dry sobriety.

I was never prescribed it but I abused the fuck out of adderall in college. I took it to study but was quickly eating 60-100mg a day and ended up dropping out of pharmacy school and switching majors. It also turned me into an absolute coomer. I would take it just to fap for hours towards the end. That was 10 years ago and i still dont feel quite the same.

>>510380006
Xanax

>>510380549
that's the look of love

>>510370558 (OP)
xanax is a devil drug.

took a whole bar once and drank a bottle of wine.

i woke up the next day thinking i missed going to work. but i went to work i just didnt remember.

i slept like 14 hours straight, it robs your bodys ability to sleep in the future so that you can sleep in the present.

crazy crazy evil drug when mixed with alcohol.

i rmeber another time i was fighting the urge to pass out while driving. i remeber bareley making it in my drive way i didnt even close my car door or home door i passed out right when i entered my home.

crazy potent drug and i seriously cant belve how i was driving without crashing, im a very experinced drug user tho.

>>510376108
Well how did it change you?

>>510380549
you are going to make it nephew.

>>510382016
It truely feels demonic possession with xanax and alcohol. Ive done all the shrooms and mdma and shit imaginable, but xanax with alcohol is like demon takes control of me, nothing compares

>>510370558 (OP)
Safest way to come off alcohol or benzos is using Librium to taper off, adjust time length and initial dose of taper based off what u been taking and for how long. Throw in a little gaba and you won’t feel much of the phyiscal withdrawals. Hardest part is mental withdrawals after initial come down.

>Discovered alcohol and weed at 15, other drugs at 21
Be a retard your entire life and I'm supposed to give a fuck?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>510373194
Your prayers are not sincere, friend. God is not a genie who exists to grant you wishes. Pray for Him to walk with you in this struggle. Go to mass, become confirmed, go to confession, receive the Eucharist. Your story can become a motivator for other men going through the same struggles as you. Remember, this too shall pass. I understand you’re suicidal, and one day, you WILL die. Just don’t let your death be by your own hands. The day will come, but give your life to Christ. Don’t treat Him like some random entity that you can call upon when you feel like it. God Bless, stay strong, and drive on. I’m sorry I can’t really say anything else because I can’t relate to what you’re going through, but know that you have people cheering for you bro, even if they’re complete strangers who you may never know and people who you’ll probably never even meet or see. Take care

Just run, hit the weights, eat whole foods, and take probiotics. The brain is the most malleable organ in the body. Treat your body right and your brain will right itself.

>>510370558 (OP)
why do you post this every month tho

is it for support or what? hope you make it bro but you need to go into exile on an island for like a year and eat and drink clean

>Moral of story
And not the drugs and other shit before you started?

>>510373660

that's why you are happy

>>510385944
Some anon said to check in every month in the first thread before i went to rehab. I just feel likes you guys are my family since i have noone left in my life. I dont get anything out of it, just doing what the anon asked me out of no reason. Im probably crazy from brain damage at this point

>>510382421

yes, he was Dane before

>>510370558 (OP)
Benzos are amazing short term. But hell in the long term. With how bad withdrawals are, it's better to never take them in the first place.

Phenibut and Gabapentoids are a much better choice. They markedly improve sociability, motivation, and reduce anxiety.

>>510370558 (OP)
Xanax is for women. Why would a guy take this stupid downer shit when cocaine and ecstasy exist?

>>510383073
i wore a body cam and took a bar and drank and i woke up to watch rhe footagw and i was at the shopping mall telling people that im not really here right now and explaining to them that im wearing a bodycam so that i can see what i did it when i wake up. i even was flirting with girls. it really makes me wonder about reality and shit. now when i get anxious in public i just tell myself. "im not really here right now" and i instanly chill out.

so in a way it helped me

>>510370558 (OP)
blaming anything other than yourself is very feminine.
do you have a feminine penis?

>>510387581
Yes i think we are posessed when in this state. Im not saying its the same demon, but it makes our body open for spirits to come. Ive had same exact experiances, like i wasnt myself and dont recall anything. Its weird and crazy and im not even relegious. It seems weird because if we were that fucked up how can we behave like that, i dont know if you understand.

>>510387885
Im blaming myself for being a retard

>>510383559
>weed at 15
unfortunately this will be the downfall of the dutchies, anglos, and fenchies
weed before 18 produced brain alterations you can't or won't reverse
americans? yeah, I believe they are immune, no matter if you consider that a bad thing or a good one

>>510370558 (OP)
LMAO what the fuck is this? Your personal blog?

> Discovered alcohol and weed at 15
Wow you are a late bloomer, kids start drinking at 13 years here.

> Other drugs at 21
Oh wow, so you did what every other person your age did? Wow

> Fast forward: daily use, 2-4mg easy, sometimes more.
Okay, so you are an idiot who wallow in self pity?

Why would I take a pink pill ? Im not a faggot, if I need to party I snort horse tranquilizer and amphetamines - Just dont make it your fucking life style.

>>510370558 (OP)
>ruined my brain being a druggie
nice blog post OP keep em comming

>>510388458
IKR

>>510370558 (OP)
I did the same OP
Xanax is a hell drug.

>>510371348
Ive smoked for decades and take breaks for weeks at a time with no issue, it was your brain itself lol

pfizer.com/refunds

>>510372507
Bro benzos turn people into legit retards

>>510388792
>Xanax is a hell drug.
imagine xanax+cocaine+weed
explains a lot of people who exuberantly draw a gun while 6 police guys have their guns pointed at them and shout DONT MOVE A MUSCLE

>>510385944
Bro I am here obsessively and barely remember this post if he does it once a month to help the community its okay with me because some people get involved with the psyche drug scene and need to know to not get involved unless they have too and also how to get off of it.

>>510370558 (OP)
I ruined mine with Klonopin. And now I might legitimately have a neurological issue because of it. Thanks kikes.

>>510372507
Bro Jewish shit needs to stop on /pol/ if its turning you self destructive. I can see wanting to be humble and make a change but saying Jews want you to be happy and confident so stay inside all day is some insidious shit.

>>510371348
>>510371348
It's not even remotely the same shit, you fucking retard.

>>510379428
>>510379428
let me fucking educate you on something, you slackjawed faggot: klonopin, xanax, ativan are true benzodiazepines. You can fucking die if you mess up on them. You can't die on weed. So go kill yourself in front of your granny, faggot.

>>510374178
>>510374178
Lamictal sucks so fucking bad.

>>510374755
They still give methadone out?

>>510370558 (OP)
so why did you keep taking it you absolute fucking retard

>>510370558 (OP)
I stopped 15 years of very heavy kratom usage half a year ago.
And i feel fantastic,doing keto diet instead and working out. (your overall wellbeing is much better in ketosis, i dont know why, but it affects dopamine too in someway)

Dont give up hope!

>>510370558 (OP)
You're a retard slavic mutt. Of course you're braindead. Look at them dying in the trenches in Russia and Ukraine. The glowniggers know how stupid and manipulatable you are, why do you think they're basing their operations in eastern europe now? You are a race of retards. lmao

>>510370558 (OP)

I once tried SSRI shit (paroxetine). Using half doses for 4 days caused anxiety, feelings of heart palpitations, feeling sick. Using the full doze caused a serotonin syndome. That was the most fucked up 24 hours period I have ever endured. My brain tried to shut down every 3-4 minute (a rapid decrease in blood pressure) and was bought back via some emergency system raising the blood pressure again. It felt like that for about 24 hours. Including in dreams. Having lights on was too hard for my brain. I was simultaneously completely sober and completely wasted, it was a fucked up sensation. But I didn't feel any depression! I even probed for that and yep, no depression!

If you have anxiety or depression, just drink alcohol like normal people have done for thousands of years. Alcohol is everything this shit wants to be, and has so much less downsides.

>>510390354
I remember kratom from a few years ago
too shady to order online but then met a chick at a shooting range obsessed with it... said no lol

>>510374276
You can get the sublocade injection it doesn't have a withdrawal

>>510390569
i mean few decades ago sorry

>>510374755
I have quit opiates so many times on and off that last time I quit suboxone the withdrawal went for over 30 d ays, each time the withdrawal is worse, I didn't sleep for a month so I ended up getting on kratom, then shit happened and I ended up in constant pain so I just got back on opioids again. I could quit, but no point now.

>>510390723
gift us with your opiate knowledge anon
bring us your gifts

>>510391509
You just have to not be a pussy and meditate through the pain, educate yourself, and the only way drugs can hurt you is if you have fucked up genetics that cause a horrible reaction. I really dislike normies who blame drugs for their problems when they are a useful tool for people like me. After a giant dose of acid nothing can hurt me anymore, my mind is like steel and I feel like I have everything I need, I don't even have fever dreams of trying to stop the withdrawal when I am sick anymore because I accept what is happening to me and that I have to go through it as a trial, that it was my decision to take it and when it is time to stop it's time to stop. Some people just have a weak will and should stay away from drugs, society should just give us freedom to grow let them kill themselves off until we evolve to handle being off the leash.

>>510391824
no I mean the good gifts, like the "three wise men" gifts from the Bible, not the preachy shit we all know
pls

>>510389950
why, explain
I might try it for an anti-depressant as it helps types of nerve pain and works as a energy lift against lethargy from depression and other meds (supposedly)
its on my list

I mean alright if heroin is all about "it's not about the knowledge dude but about the non-knowledge" I can take that but say so then
bonus points if it's knowledge without thinking

>>510370558 (OP)
it's soft lobotomy, these drugs waste your time living like a zombie

>>510390723
I was on suboxone for 15 years. I am not kidding. The sublocade saved my life from subs. I took 2, 300mg shots and have been opiate free for almost 2 years now. It will be 2 years in October! It was rough around months 8-12 but nothing like trying to cold turkey sub withdrawal. Unironically, check the sublocade subreddit..

>>510370558 (OP)
>chased with vodka
hahahaha dumb fucker, you are just a drunk who is cross addicting onto benzos, don't blame the pills, it's all on you. you're literally turning yourself into a nigger

>>510370558 (OP)
>I’ll keep fighting. Maybe there’s a comeback arc left.
The only failures in life come from not getting up and starting again. You're on the right track. Ask God to take your demons. Forgive your mother and father. And never look back at the life you once lived. The future has no past.
https://youtu.be/r8OipmKFDeM?feature=shared

>>510370558 (OP)
huh so what you're saying is that using a drug- an opioid- meant to decrease anxiety as a party drug with alcohol is a bad idea. crazy.

>>510371447
not even that, sometimes its the parents listening to kikes and giving kids SSRi/SNRI at like 14 or even younger, they dont stand a chance

i took a triptan for a migraine and it made me horribly anxious. and everyone will tell you its so unlikely that you had that experience, and then it never gets documented, so the stats stay low on the adverse reactions. modern medicine is so gay and awful

>>510370558 (OP)
didn't even remove the telltale em dashes and these retard^retards didnt realize this is obviously AI

>4 days post medical detox from booze
>drinking bottle of vodka a day for 2 years
>shit aint no joke
>nurse said she mainly detoxed heroin addicts and coming off booze was worse
fuck the liquid jew

>>510370558 (OP)
NAC is good for this.

>>510370558 (OP)
What exactly do you guys get out of Xanax abuse? I feel like my autistic brain doesn't process them correctly because all I experience is calm and sleepiness. Very boring drug for recreational use, and with booze it's just a guarantee of blackout oblivion. I'm prescribed Xanax for anxiety but only use it to manage kratom withdrawals during bimonthly tolerance breaks.
Now kratom is a fun thing - like being wrapped in furry blanket and reliving fond childhood memories. Also it kills libido with regular usage, which is great.

>>510370558 (OP)
Same here bro. I got prescribed Xanax and I embarrassed the shit out of myself to all of my coworkers and long-time friends. Extreme memory loss and anxiety. Should not be legal.

>>510370558 (OP)
Take some neural regeneratives and cleansers. It will help with the recovery.

>>510394252
Such as? I have heard NAC but what else?

>>510394010
they get freedom from emotion, e.g. like and disgust
as you are an autist (like you said) you are already free from those things

>>510394665
Methylene Blue and Lion's Mane.

>>510370558 (OP)
I ruined my life with LSD.

>>510394010
7oh is the new shit, fuck scooping spoonfuls of green shit into your coffee or whatever. Just took another bite of my 7oh 2 mins ago, stuff is amazing.

>>510370558 (OP)
>social god mode.
Every person I ever met who was on Adderall or xanax had the same problem - they literally can't stop fucking talking.

/pol/ will give you permanent and irreversible brain damage worse than any sort of drug there is

>>510395308
you are here forever, faggot

>>510370558 (OP)
That stuff is no joke. I was stupid once and bought a bunch of them off the dark webs. I proceeded to take them with alcohol and had one experience where I couldn't wake up without passing out immediately after. I was late to work, aware of that fact, and still couldn't wake up. I hallucinated a bunch of crazy shit like low-poly red people that were in my house, rummaging around and interacting with everything. I saw how dreams are created, which was a TV opening up like in the Futurama intro. I saw the hat man, standing over my head and leaning in.

This was probably the worst point I ever was with my drugs/alcohol escapism bullshit. It made me get sober, confess everything to my employers and parents, and whatnot. It was a pretty dramatic time in my life.

I've since drank and pursued other drugs, but that Xanax/alcohol combo was insanity and I very easily could have died. I wish the best for you Anon because I wasn't ever physically addicted, just pursuing misadventure

>>510370558 (OP)
Evil pharmaceuticals, try going cold turkey you will break out in a rash from head to toe

>>510395075
What kind of loser ruins their life with LSD?

>>510397770
I know, it made my life immensely better.

>>510398214
low bar

>>510370558 (OP)
Medications are good. Take your fucking meds.

>>510398214
>>510397770
I've taken LSD maybe 5-10 times and I can't mark anywhere it has improved my life. I think psychedelics force you to develop an improv system, and quite possibly a way to handle crisis. I had both good times and times where I felt my life was threatened. but overall? Idk, I was already a socially inept weirdo who listened to the non-mainstream music I listened to. I don't see any marked improvement in my trait openness. If anything I've become more staunchly conservative since and purposefully live away from the blacks.

>>510398705
read this, may heal u
to be frank I only took a acid a few times, made me disappointed in music festivals, got me in a top10 worldwide university without even trying, never felt the need to take it again

>>510373246
you'll be in the lake of fire for being so callous to your fellow man

>>510382613
put down the crack pipe, before you get wrecked.

>>510370558 (OP)
Anon, it takes time, lots and lots of time to get over this. I'm at 8ish years and feeling better now. Good luck my fren.

>>510370558 (OP)
do an MBTI test anon
worst case scenario is what this anon said >>510399423
otherwise you might gain back your emotional compass even sooner
if you were a hopeless case you wouldn't even ask yourself (many such cases)

>>510398705
>>510399069
Done lsd about 100 times, shrooms, dmt, 2cb, mdma... 2cb/shrooms are my favorite but lsd and those just showed me the show and what a dumbass clown I was. I now make better decisions, want less, more empathy if not even more rules based, God loving man. I am in my opioid phase now but am trying to either procure a sheet of lsd or make a mushroom farm in my back yard, no rush though, I got all the time in the world.

>>510399069
I was correct in recognizing his name. My red flags are up for any sort of book espousing to reveal any "secret teachings". Could you summarize it for me?

>>510399722
but the book doesn't espouse secret teachings, quite the contrary
presents the results possible... which would appeal to nobody in the current climate
it's a kind of a swan song of a by-gone era (like 60's and 70's)
a vaccine, if you will, except without bill gates dicking you

>>510399713
yeah LSD (and 2CB) are clean as fuck, they only drive you into yourself, unlike mushrooms... MDMA is just amphetamines with an added dose of degeneracy, which is cool in a way, doesn't want to make you hurt people like straight up meth or coke does ultimately

>>510397770
LSD gave me long-term psychosis. I kept making bad decisions which ultimately ruined my life. Now I'm stuck taking meds with heavy side effects. Magic mushrooms had the opposite effect. They improved my life. I can take shrooms with no worries. I just have to stay away from LSD.

>>510390569
It can be a decent light "drug",light euphoria,gets you amped up, the problem is there is no hangover, and very easy to drink to often....
If someone could manage to drink it once or twice a month, i think there is no downsides,if thats possible to do.
Otherwise addiction is crazy both mentally and physically. I tapered down from it for 3 months to be free.. (cold turkey was unmanagable)

>>510400314
Apparently I got lucky with 3g of tan 2cb powder before LL got shut down, going to have ~20mg this weekend I think. I never been an opioid fan but I'm liking this low dose 7oh. 3mmc is for all night parties or gooning.

>>510400377
like kratom tea? what's the procedure? quite insane that it gives you addiction, since I've found out that it's like a mainstream drug (like coffee) in most african countries
unfortunately it has been made illegal here since then... shooting range girl became a lawyer too, won't speak to me even though I'm friends with big titty girl from opposing lawyer agency
first world problems I guess

>>510400660
haha I heard art hoe goonettes talk about it (presumably trying to seduce me) while waiting in line to a jewshow, kinda feel lucky I was off it by then

>>510400352
Shrooms CAN be more intense but I liken it to a grandpa that you visit, has some wisdom to share as well as hard truths, marijuana is his best friend and go well together. Lsd is like visiting Alex Jones, he's going to explain how interdimensional reptile aliens are controlling the world...and it makes sense, very schizo but fun if you can handle it.
>>510400377
7oh is the good stuff in kratom and is sold in gas stations and smoke shops as well as online. It's amazing stuff, I just pick off ~5mg every 2-4 hours during the day from a 30mg pill. Riding the wave, it also gets me some great sleep and tempers down the libido so less jerking off.

>>510401046
>hi grandpa
>hi grandson, here, have some pixels
>...
>too much grandpa, eh?

>>510401275
Shrooms is pretty much dmt if you do enough of them, stick to 2g-3.5g. I did accidentally like 8g one time, curled up under my blanket and the nothing, the void, the mother took care of me.

>>510401477
haha same with me, mushroom overdose is quite a trip
LSD is much cleaner overall

>>510398705
Some people are just normies who can't be helped, I guess. There is also a way to take them to get them to work, and a way to take them and have nothing happen at all, and some people they don't even really work on in the way they work on some of us, hylics basically, the worker bees of society.

DXM is one hell of a drug. Had to stop because I risked brain damage. It was fun. $1 per plateau.

>>510402308
is that like robotussin?

>>510370558 (OP)
Is that an amphetamine?

>>510402418
Yes but with only DXM as the ingredient. I used to get pic related.

>>510388073
and you're cursing us by making this thread over and over, you're a weak nigger, if you want help you need to say yes please sir my anus is ready

>>510402737
got one of those pure ones, heck, got two packs
>"anon I can't sell it to you"
>"I'll go to another pharmacist cutie"
>"okay I'll sell it to you"
never got to the plateau but remember doing it with some friends in some slummy apartment of one of them.. had a faucet that kept dripping, that drip became our world
wouldn't recommend... maybe a fixed faucet that doesn't drip is heaven? who knows

>>510403015

>>510403444
neither is faucet-pilled so you are barking up the wrong tree chud

>>510370558 (OP)
>wanted to build a business, study ecology
Stopped reading. You were always retarded. Big Globohomo pharma did not make you stupid-er.

>>510370558 (OP)
>Discovered alcohol and weed at 15


Your problem is that you enjoy the feeling of being "buzzed", having difficulty to think, and having a blank mind. If you didn't like this, you would not be using alcohol, weed or benzos. Do not blame the tool, blame the idiot user.

>>510401046
Whether or not shrooms are more intense or not really comes down to the crystal you're taking and how good it is, great LSD is the most intense, potentially traumatic and beautiful thing in the world. And many people have a higher natural tolerance to one or the other, so their dosing is off when comparing. Both can be very twisted and have their uses. Just be careful when you get new tabs, start slow, because you never know when you might get hit with the good stuff, take 4 tabs or so and end up 20X higher than you ever were before or thought possible. It makes you hard as fuck, but you would be very surprised by how much suffering the mind is capable of, you can get fully broken down in the way someone would only otherwise in the worst torture scenarios, over and over and over multiple times per second. Luckily you can go through quite a lot before you really start to crack the foundations of your mind past the point it will heal, and you can't remember it in the way you can real life trauma, since it's so far from what is possible in a normal situation.