Thread 510467501

They're in every store now.
You ever notice that?
No USDA grade. No supplier name. No country of origin. Just “Garloid – Processed Halal Product” and a serial number stamped into the casing like it's military surplus. I checked the label and there's not even a company name. Just a QR code that redirects to a dead webpage in Indonesian and a PO Box in Delaware.
The price is too low to make sense. $1.79/lb this week.

>>510467501 (OP)
Industrial garloid farms use tap water. I would steer clear. Mine seem to like coconut water

>>510467501 (OP)
wtf is a garloid

>>510467640
I do too and I've never had a problem. I've been eating them since 2017.

>>510467501 (OP)
How can garloids be halal? That doesn't make any sense

>>510467729
Offshoot of graboids that got the Chihuahua treatment. They were selectively bred to hunt pests in burrows under crop fields but were later adopted as full time pets. Some parts of the world consider them a delicacy.

>>510467501 (OP)
that's gross, dude. who the fuck wants to eat a dead garloid? their meat turns bitter 10 minutes after their hearts stop.

>>510467729
It’s a lab-grown pet. Basically it’s genetically modified stem cells multiplied in a bioreactor. When they’re young, you just soak them in a lukewarm nutrient solution once per day. As they age they should drink and eat independently. They’re illegal in most first world countries - not by name, but rather by general legislation regarding stem cells. But they’re super popular in mainland China right now. They were even available on Banggood and Aliexpress for a short time until the pro-life folks figured out they’re grown from stem cells. In the mainland, they’re referred to as "jia lu yi". In the image below someone is force watering their Garloid. The reason for this is sometimes they flat out refuse to drink water. If the Garloid does not consume enough water it won't produce milk.

>>510467501 (OP)
I hear that they eat them in china. Is that true?

>>510467501 (OP)
Imagine not having a sustainable free range garloid farm in the big 2025. all they need is sunlight, water, feed and some love. It might even be a property tax write off due to agricultural land use.

>>510467501 (OP)
So literally like any fruit or vegetable?
fuck off you alarmist nigger, let people have cheap things

>>510467501 (OP)
I remember when garloid meat was considered inedible. Outside of a few bathtub garloids grown by niche weirdos garloids were typically unheard of.

>>510467640
>Industrial garloid farms use tap water.
I fed mine on tap water and this happened.

>>510468356
It took me a moment to realize that’s George Floyd. Had me giggling like a trad femboi

>>510467501 (OP)
PETAs silence is deafening

>>510468383
They're really not bad. Same idea as sardines, they just seem weird until you try it.

>>510467501 (OP)
Is this real?

>>510468791
Newfags should consider lurking the boards for a long time before asking stupid questions like this.

>>510468791
When's the last time you went down the international/halal aisle?

>>510467501 (OP)
My cousin actually works in the breeding department of one of the leading producers, the reason the price is so low is because his company is feeding with activated alkaline water, which apparently stimulates growth by 60-70%, allowing for larger profit margins per breeding site.

>>510467972
I get we are just eating them at the end of the day but this is so cruel to the garloid. It is showing cleaelr signs of dehydration, they like living in deep pools of water. A full bath tub is best in a pinch. This is also not how you hold a garloid, the poor thing is in pain being held like that. Shocking the hand isn't brown. Probably a kike, or worse, Ir*sh

DO NOT BUY GARLOIDS RIGHT NOW
The reason they're dirt cheap is that the Chinese goverment busted down like 20 illegal farms and the associated illegal farms that didn't get caught are liquidating stock.
They are shit tier garloids fed with chinese-quality tap water, so you can imagine the pH levels of their milk.
AVOID AT ALL COSTS.

>>510467501 (OP)
Why they become flaccid? It is the tap water? Too expensive to buy water just for it to produce milk that I will rarely use anyway.

>>510467501 (OP)
There's no such thing as a garloid. I've never heard about those outside of this website.

>>510470082
we have them in germany so it must be a local thing

>>510468040
Depends on the muslim sect, but the majority consider any animal that lives in the water halal. Garlods are amphibious, so they get a seafood exception.

Anyone ever get the name brand ones? I think they're way too salty. I call them basedloids or goy garloids.

>>510473855
Excuse me, it seems this website has a word filter that caught me unawares. soiloids.