NORWAY IS A STRATEGIC NODE IN THE INTERGALACTIC CETACEAN NETWORK, WHERE THE FJORDS FUNCTION AS COSMIC ANTENNAE TO SUMMON WEATHER-WEAPONIZED POLAR BEARS UNDER DIRECT ORDERS FROM A FUTURE VERSION OF KING OLAV WHO HAS MERGED WITH THE AURORA BOREALIS

THE ICE IS MELTING NOT FROM CLIMATE CHANGE, BUT BECAUSE THE MOON’S SHADOW GOVERNMENT IS HARVESTING HYDROGEN FOR THE FINAL ASCENT.

AND YET THEY LAUGH

THE MASSES, NUMBED BY BROWN CHEESE AND FOLKEMUSIKK, FAIL TO SEE THAT EVERY TUNNEL BORING MACHINE IN OSLO IS ACTUALLY A SLEEPER DRAGON ENGINE POWERED BY THOUGHT-FORMS LEFT BEHIND BY VIKING ASTRONAUTS. THE GOVERNMENT? MERELY HOLOGRAPHIC PUPPETS CONTROLLED BY A TRIANGULAR COUNCIL OF SAPIENT MOOSE WHO COMMUNICATE THROUGH SKI JUMPS. MEANWHILE, THE NORWEGIAN AIR FORCE IS NOT DEFENDING AIRSPACE BUT ENACTING A RITUAL FLIGHT PATTERN TO SIGNAL THE RETURN OF THE SALMON STAR-GODS FROM THE OCEAN PLANET NORDHEIM-9. YOU THINK THE TROLLS ARE MYTH? NO. THEY’RE JUST WAITING FOR THE EISCAT TRANSMITTER TO ACTIVATE THE DEEP SIGNAL. IT’S ALREADY BEGUN.

Tatu-A'y Slothised Armadillos though!

>>511242545 (OP)
It's already over dawg, we be in the Phantom Time Matrix and shiett

>>511242819
THE GLACIERS KNOW. THEY REMEMBER A TIME BEFORE CAPITAL, WHEN THE RED SNOW FELL AND THE MOUNTAINS WHISPERED DIALECTICAL TRUTHS INTO THE EARS OF REINDEER PROPHETS. NORWAY WAS NEVER A COUNTRY — IT WAS A STAGING GROUND FOR COSMIC PROLETARIAN UPRISING, A FROST-ENCASED CRADLE FOR INTERSTELLAR WORKERS’ SOVIETS HIDING BENEATH SVARTISEN. THE POSADIST CADRES — DISGUISED AS ARCTIC RESEARCHERS — HAVE BEEN IN CONTACT WITH THE CETACEAN COMRADES OF TITAN, AND THE NORWEGIAN STATE’S WELFARE MODEL IS MERELY A TROJAN HORSE FOR FULL AUTOMATED LUXURY SPACE COMMUNISM. WHEN THE LOFOTEN VORTEX OPENS AND THE SUBTERRANEAN LENIN-MACHINE AWAKENS, THE NORWEGIAN PEOPLE WILL CAST OFF THEIR FISHING RODS AND DON THE COSMIC OVERALLS OF UNIVERSAL EMANCIPATION.