I'm Australian and I spotted two snakes that were living in my walls and shit going outside to have a fight.

Why did you have two Jews outside your house?

Domestic dispute
Aussie edition

>>512080635 (OP)
Pretty sure those snakes are actually mating and you're probably going to have a bunch of baby snakes in your walls soon.

>>512080990
Should I do anything KEK

Australians are the niggers of Australia

What's it like living with all these Pokemon tier animals?

>>512081078
call exterminator or kill them yourself

>>512081269
why are they so arrogant

>>512080635 (OP)
why the fuck would they make the home's soffit easily passable like that? anything could climb into your walls....

>>512081269
I love that bird Cockatoo they enjoy drinking beer and learn to speak human words. My favorite thing about them is they are trolls like they literally try to troll you and other animals. Very naughty. For example I had one that kept dropping food on the floor for the dog and then before the dog could get it picking up the food again. Eventually the dog spazzed out and it flew to me larping as the victim.

they also like to start fights. Like they will peck multiple animals near eachother to egg them on

>>512080948
lol
>>512081078
they seem chill. snakes are easy to catch, just make sure the lid on your bucket stays closed
>>512081449
i would be to if i looked like that

>>512081470
mine are like that. i've been meaning to fix them. though, i still don't really know what "fixing" would entail.

>>512081449
idk man I was asking you.

>>512081527
Sounds like feathered jews.

>>512081758
soffit is just drywall basically. just gotta cut it and plug the gap. you should do this asap. animals will crawl in there and cause serious issues.

Virgin vs Chad moment

>>512082579
wouldn't plugging the soffits be bad for air circulation up there

>>512080635 (OP)
They’re not fighting, they’re fucking.
If you ever get pussy, you might understand

>>512080635 (OP)
>me 15 seconds after moving into my house in Australia

I LIKE SPIDUHS

>>512080635 (OP)
THIS IS THE INSIDE OF A SNAKES MOUTH

>>512084671
D8YYV

>>512084361
You need to come to Australia when it rains spiders

>>512080635 (OP)
>>512081078
>I'm Australian and I spotted two snakes that were living in my walls and shit going outside to have a fight.
>fight
lol
Enjoy all the baby snakes in your walls mate.

>>512084671
WTF
Thats your asshole, and its had bbc

>>512081078
Would be easy to simply grab them and remove them.
Just pythons, can't hurt you too bad.

>>512081269
I woke up from camping and found a black and white wasp had sneasked in under my foreskin. Why did he go there?

>>512084764
>>512080635 (OP)
They like each other just find yourself a nice american girl like this bloke

>>512080635 (OP)
You will always be incel

>>512084761
>im ready to settle down

>>512080635 (OP)
You need something like picrel. And, your house is not up-to-code. No way is that allowed. The attic must be at outside temps.

>>512085387

>>512085067
Wasps usually build nests under the smallest overhangs they can find.
Since your foreskin is in nanometres it is perfect

>>512080635 (OP)
At least it's not a gianormous spider

>>512081078
Snakes love eating pests.
Or better yet, catch the babies and sell them.

SNAAAAAAKKKKEEE!!!!!

>>512080635 (OP)
Your parents told you they were wrestling a lot didn't they

>>512080635 (OP)
Let me guess, they are unbelievably venomous, because Australia? Maybe they were just having a sexo

>>512080635 (OP)
>Australian
I explain this very nicely. You see, anon, when a mommy snake and a daddy snake really love each other, then they like to snuggle. A little while later a stork comes to give them some baby snakes.

>>512080635 (OP)

>>512085688
Nah, not venomous. These are just carpet snakes. Natural rat/mice catchers. It’s goid to have one or two in your ceiling here.
Saves buying bait.
These ones are harmless. Might bite, but won’t draw too much blood.

>>512080635 (OP)
oh yeah? look what I've got

>>512080635 (OP)
I'd be leaving too if I had to live with Australians.

>>512085688
They look like some kind of python, but I'm no expert

>>512086021
Thirsty little feller

Qld?

>>512085725
>>512085688
>>512085571
>>512085548
why are american posters so terribly unfunny. like, they get the dumbest connection of a joke in their head and then can't fucking wait to show the world the dumb little connection they made. then theyre off to the next dumb little connection.

>>512085427
This or some bird boards.
Nigger anon probably also has roof rats up there between the roof and the inside sheetrock/ plaster board.

>>512080635 (OP)
> Fighting
They are mating, Bruce. Of course you wouldn't know this, Steve is no longer with you.

>>512083829
there is a special thing called soffit vents that are perforated sheet metal designed to allow airflow up and into the attic for ventilation

>>512085688
They are carpet pythons so not venomous.

>>512084761

>>512086241
Try going to do a shit and you look up and see this

>>512086122

>>512086153
All the brown dna

>>512086637
That is why I have a 12 gauge shotgun.
I hate snakes.

>>512086153
They were right though. The smaller one was a male trying to breed the female. They fell so who knows if he managed to knock her up.

>>512081449
I'M A FUCKIN' LEGEND

>>512085067
they're attracted to protein-rich foods like your smegma

>>512081449
Ungovernable.

>>512086824
I think the US has worse animals you need a shotgun for

>>512081078
He already came inside her snake pussy that's why he dropped off

>>512086153
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6PX1_n3F4I

>>512084361
the huntsmen/cane spiders used to get big enough to eat small rodents on Maui but they chopped down the cane fields now theres not many of them left.

>>512087165
>Be me
>One day walk outside
>Oh shit! two Arizona Diamondback Rattlesnakes are fucking in the shade next to my house!
>Go get snake grabber tongs and shovel
>Watch fuck fest, until they finish
>Grab one snake as it moves away with tongs
>Other hand has shovel... CHOP
>One snake dead wiggling around with head off. Head is still hissing
>Grab other snake trying to get into my garage
>CHOP ... two dead snakes
>Use shovel to throw those into the bushes behind house.

>Be me
>Go outside
>See little cats in back yard
>WTF are these house cats doing in my back yard spazzing out
>Get closer... cats also walking toward me.
>Oh fuck, those are baby Bobcats!
>Pick up rocks and throw at the little bastards.
>They run away.
>Hour later, the little fuckers are on top of my 6 foot high wall walking around yapping for their mother.
>Cunt abandoned them in my backyard.

>Be me
>Walk outside
>see mangy coyotes
>Yell at them, so they run away.

>Be me
>Never know what the fuck I'm going to see, when walking outside my house.

>>512087980
>kills based snakes for no reason
>throw rocks ate baby bobcats
You are a shit skin.

>>512086824
*destroy your own ceiling in your path*
Murica

>>512088242
No, just reminding you fags that I have guns and you do not!

>>512080635 (OP)
Those aren't poisonous. They look like constrictors
Take a shovel and cut their heads off

>>512088124
Rattlesnakes are not based especially if you have children around nigger. I highly doubt he would of killed a King Snake, gopher snake, gardener snake, anything else of the likes.

Rattlers can kill a grown man if they have a shitty immune system. They will definitely kill a child.

>>512081078
Help the bro that fall and carry it back

>>512080635 (OP)
>it's my roof now nigger

>>512080635 (OP)
why the nigger do you just let snakes live in your house
>>512081078
yeah call a fucking exterminator and get the spiders and snakes and scorps the FUCK out of your house

>>512088124
>Arizona/ Western Diamondback Rattlesnakes
Oh yeah, Mr snuggly... get pet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ODACANcE7Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IctWcQFjIE
Who would not want these bastards on their porch, ready to turn your blood into jello.

I did not kill the bobcats, nigger. I don't like those living in my backyard.
>Be in back yard
>Bobcat mom comes out from Rose bushes acting like it will eat your ass.
>Look out back window
>See bobcat run-up and grab bird 5 feet out the the air, like it was nothing. Start eating the whole fucking thing on my porch... hear the birds bone cracking, while that fucker eats it whole.
>Bobcat sees me, then runs away with bird
>Week later, walk onto back porch... inspect for snakes... inspect for bobcats... inspect for coyotes... inspect for javelinas.. inspect for mountain lions (never seen one in my yard but down the road in desert ... inspect for skunks... OK looks good.
>Working in backyard
>Big bobcat jumps over 6 foot wall, like it was not there... fuck me!

>>512088124
found the pitbull owner.
they're nanny snakes. they sing songs for me and we dance together.

I live in Vegas and Scorpions are total pests here. They can fold themselves entirely flat so you can't keep cardboard around at all. They come up through drains. One stung me in the kitchen and I had to get a tetanus shot.

>>512089458
>One stung me in the kitchen and I had to get a tetanus shot.
What?

I had to get a tetanus booster because i sliced my foot open on rusty metal landscaping why the fuck do you need one for a fucking scorpion?