The suffering and pain in the world is all powerful and totally overwhelming. It's sickening to think in this exact moment there are children being raped and torture in some basement somewhere in the world. It's sickening to think there are people who get 90% of their bodies burned, and they still surivive despite the pain. It's sickening to think that for hundreds of millions of years animals hunt and killed each other in the most brutal of ways.

I was once an idealist. I thought that babies should be coming into this world because life was beautiful despite of the horrors. I wanted to believe in mankind, in values, in goodness. I wanted to believe there was a purpose.

This is too much for me. I can't believe a good deity would let this happen to us. We are completely alone and abandoned.