Thread 519564524

Why are people connecting their beds to the internet. Fucking animals

>>519564524 (OP)
I legit dont understand this article.

>>519564524 (OP)
Internet of things.
Bruce Sterling has a lot to answer for.

>>519564606
>People sleeping in internet-enabled beds were woken after a major technical outage took much of the web offline.

>On Monday, Snapchat, Duolingo, Roblox and others were knocked offline by technical problems at Amazon Web Services, which offers the infrastructure that powers much of the internet.

>Users woke up to find that their beds were becoming uncomfortably warm or cold because they were unable to check in with the company’s online services.

>Others found that they were unable to change the angle of their bed and had as such been left with their bed on an incline, stopping them from getting to sleep at all

>>519564524 (OP)
>Having an alexa bed
Americans are mentally derranged

A bed with adjustable temp sounds great but I don't see why I would ever connect it to the internet. I guess they really, really wanna know what temp I like my bed at when.

>>519564524 (OP)
>internet enabled beds

HOW CAN WE SLEEP WHEN THE BEDS ARE BURNING

>>519564606
>Smart bed with adjustable heating
>needs internet connection for some reason
>Amazon servers die
>smart bed gets permanently stuck on high temperature
your $3000 smart bed sir

>>519565080
You'll never have the comfyness of a heavy blanket in winter, or the coolness of throwing it off the bed in the middle of the night in summer

You

Stop being a dumbass

>>519565192
It's legit good. It collects your sleep data and the app analyzes your sleep pattern. Almost as good as a full on sleep study which costs a ton. So while you're making fun of me I have 14 months of sleep data and counting that I can use to optimize my sleeping methods and schedule.

>>519564833
"Im sorry goyim, but you didn't pay your subscription fee, you no longer can adjust your bed"

>>519564524 (OP)
...

Some fuckers couldn't put their lights on because they had connected them to alexa or whatever. Some people are so stupid...

>>519564524 (OP)
There's gonna be a meter on your bed that will disclose what everybody knows

https://youtu.be/Gxd23UVID7k?si=6KWCY3oahyzT76X0

>>519565819
Ok I'm curious, how exactly had this data led you to optimize your sleep?

Shit I bought a $400 mattress/box-spring combo from Big Lots and it works just fine. What kind of halfwit braindead moronic nigger-IQ'd retard would buy a 'smart' bed?

I compromised. I went cheap-shit. And I am happy with it.

>>519566434
>malfunctions
>crashes you in you in your sleep
>youre a sandwich now

>>519566302
Some broscience bullshit most likely. Ever go to a gym and the people there think they're wearing lab coats and not sweaty funk-covered plastic bitch clothes? Those people. The kinds of retards that tell you to take zinc and magnesium at the same time.

>>519564524 (OP)
They are not, they are buying
>fancy bed cuz i'm a worthy women
And it just happens to have internet because this is the only way tech jews can have sex.

>>519566639

Why not take zinc and magnesium at the same time?

>>519568648
They compete with each other for absorption. Metal-based supps should always be spaced out.

>>519564833
>>Others found that they were unable to change the angle of their bed and had as such been left with their bed on an incline, stopping them from getting to sleep at all
Here's your Amazon bed bro. Thank bezos.

>>519565819
Based sleep hygiene knower

>>519565819
>Sleep data
Hahaha it's not complicated bro. If your tired go to bed nigga fr. lmao just put your head on the pillow and go to sleep that's it LOL

>>519565819
I just try to sleep good, I don't need a robot to tell me how to sleep, instead of tryharding I just enjoy sleeping, simple as =)

>>519565819
Yeah I do the same thing but I give my data to the pokemon company and collect pokemon. Level 65 with a friend slot open if anyone post their QR code.

>>519565558
yeah like i should just be allowed to literally break any law i want related to selling a product if this is the shit that billion dollar corporations are forcing on people

I want to sell math curriculum books and it's just me scrawling a bunch of numbers on that shitty paper that tears when you try to write on it, and they're 500 dollars each, because fuck you, that's why

>>519564606
Are you the same Swiss ESL faggot from the other thread? Use google translate you mongoloid.

>>519566434
> bought something at big lots
> refers to thi concapt uv IQ

>>519564524 (OP)
>Internet-enabled beds

>>519565819
what kind of brainlet spends thousands extra for some spyware internet bed just to tell him whether hes sleeping good or not

imagine paying for some gucci smart connected bed that has to run through amazon servers when you can add a sleep sensor to your bed for like 20 dollars and tie it to automations

>>519564606
>>519570510
He's right, though. The title is grammatically ambiguous.

>>519565819
You forgot to mention you can make your bed really cold or hot. I have expendable money and I think it’s an ok product. Being connect 24/7 and paying a yearly subscription on a 2k bed is some fucking bullshit though. I’m surprised nobody has disrupted this gay company.

>>519571670
I really hope you are shot and killed.

>>519564524 (OP)
>Internet-enabled beds

Why does any need a bed that connects to the internet?

This is the most retarded shit I've ever seen.

My entire apartment is full of IoT gadgets.

>>519564524 (OP)
>>519564606
retarded goy cattle connect their fucking bets online to warm them up.
they haven't discovered fucking blankets yet or think that an invention that dates over 8000 years ago was too inconvenient for them

>>519572246
people will seethe this but setting up a local home assistant server and automating all the tedious bullshit out of your life is actually kinda nice. when i turn on my tv it closes my blinds automatically.

even just having a cheap sensor that detects when you are laying in bed is enough to do some comfy ass automations like setting your coffee maker to start up the second you get out of bed

>>519572456
you seem to be impercieving the goys have moved on to ulterior heating methods like an electric wire in a plastic blanket on a plastic sheet on a plastic bed with an electric wire in it there sir. why do you not sleep in plastic??

Why can't 21st century fags into internal circuitry ? Why must everything be ((((((Online)))))))

>>519573112
this article is more a warning about locally hosting your own shit and buying products that dont rely on an external server to do anything

but midwits will sperg out about how a bed has a computer attached to it

lmfao

>>519565558

people have too much fucking money, holy shit

>>519572595
>body produces own heat
>with the correct fabric and blanket choice you can be cozier than ever thought possible
>you can stack blankets ontop of eachother

Do mutts really? basic generational knowledge has been lost through the degredation of the human psyche we are truly doomed.

>>519564524 (OP)
Normies are pathetic

>>519565819
>ALL THE LEAFS ARE BROWN (aaaaaaaallll the leeeeeeafs are broooown), CANADA IS GAY (canaaaaaaadaaaa is gaaaaaaaaaay)
the other day i read about smart toilet bowls connected to intardednet

you provide a fingerprint frist to authenticate you
then you take a shit
then it analyzes it and sends it to servers so that .com.net.org.gov.corp can monitor your health via your shitting patterns

>>519572591
I agree. No more debating whether or not I forgot to shut off something.

>>519565819
pajeet

>>519564524 (OP)
honey we can´t go to sleep yet I need to update the bed

>>519565819
Why are you like this, full blown NPC bot clown cocksucker faggot

>>519570550
OhBrother.jpg

>>519570550
Big Lots is based, and, if you weren't such a nigger, you would understand this at a base level

>>519564606
>>519565558
8sleep sells a mattress that requires it be always connected to the internet in addition to paying a monthly fee to use its "smart features."
These features used to be free when they originally launched the product and you can jailbreak it btw.

>>519565819
it analyzes that you never have sex in that bed

>internet connected beds
That's it I'm going to bed, done care it's midday

>>519565819
You're probably the same type of fag that would install one of those kike cameras under your toilet rim so they can watch you poop.

>>519565324
well played

>>519575143
underrated kek. The bed probably comes with Windows 11 installed too.

>>519564524 (OP)
DUMB_MERICAN; "ALEXA... BURN ME TO DEATH IN MY BED!"
ALEXA; "404"... degrees
<sometime later>
JESUS; "HELLO, NIGGER!"

>>519577108
Only a kike would jew you out of sleeping.

>>519564524 (OP)
People who use appliances with internet are retards.

FUN FACT...
>DURING WWII, JEWS WHOSE WANKING MACHINES WERE CONNECTED TO THE EARLY INTERWEBS WERE WANKED TO DEATH WHEN EVIL NAZIS CUT THEIR INTERNET CONNECTION bY REFUSING TO PAY IT ONE MONTH

>>519564524 (OP)
>Why are people connecting their beds to the internet. Fucking animals

you're time's worth fuck all, thirdie. probably some cunt who flies cattle class, does his own housework/cooking, and sleeps in a trad bed. fuck off, brownoid.

t. pod 5 owner

>>519573827
If my feet get cold before entering bed, they stay cold no matter how long I wait. Sometimes I kick frantically to generate friction and heat, but it's easier to just grab a little heating pad and stick it over the sheet and under the blanket. If I couldn't do that (like in a power outage, or if I were morally opposed to any plastic in my house) I'd do it the old fashioned way where they take a pan (cast iron?) and put some hot coals in it, and stick that under the sheets before going to sleep, to preheat the bedding.
I wish my parents had any concept of this. All my childhood I had trouble sleeping because the house was so fucking cold. Being a kid, I didn't think much on it; I just accepted my misery and lay awake shivering for hours every night. Now that I'm grown and more informed, I don't let my kids suffer in an icy bed.

>>519579334
>Sometimes I kick frantically to generate friction
Why not get your butler to rub your feet?

>>519564606
Maybe you should go back to india

>>519566302
I found out that I was short on deep sleep even though my REM was good and found ways to target that. I also found that I woke up a few times a night and addressed that too. Now I'm getting perfect sleep thanks to the metrics
>>519570101
Yeah I know. You can also just scream into the air instead of posting on 4chan too! Become a low-tech chad and click the X bro!
>>519570198
That's good but I've always been a troubled sleeper.
>>519570418
>>519570675
>oh noes! le chinkz are gonna have my sleep data!
Yikes!! You should warn reddit about this right now!
>>519571670
Mine doesn't have a subscription fee. It just works
>>519577916
I have a smaller bed in the other bedroom where I fuck and she can sleep after if she wants. I don't want to mess up my sleep data with sex
>>519578838
Sounds gay, lay off the weird porn

>>519566302
>Ok I'm curious, how exactly had this data led you to optimize your sleep?

i'm a pod 5 user. it automatically heats/cools the bed to the optimum temperature to keep you asleep. it works a treat and is worth every cent, absolutely massive roi. it's like buying an hour of time for £1.

>>519570418
I dont wanna do it because they will make my go character fat :(

>imagine paying some nigger a monthly subscription fee for your fucking bed
You people deserve a fucking slap.

>>519579422
>I found out that I was short on deep sleep even though my REM was good and found ways to target that. I also found that I woke up a few times a night and addressed that too. Now I'm getting perfect sleep thanks to the metrics
anything you did specifically?

>>519564524 (OP)
>connecting a fucking mattress to the internet
>paying a fucking mattress subscription
do goys really?

>>519579574
>You people deserve a fucking slap.

right, paying £1 for an extra couple of hours of sleep is a horrible return on investment. it's far better to spend the entire day drowsy and underproductive. brilliant.

>>519581780
lol this can't be real can it? people plug their beds into electrical sockets now?

god damn this country has got troubles, bad enough everyone is some broccoli haired fbrown freak now neighborhoods will burn because they want to play fornite while they sleep or some shit

>>519581780
>>connecting a fucking mattress to the internet
>>paying a fucking mattress subscription
>do goys really?

you're not the target audience, chuddy. i bet you seethe seeing us "waste" money for a business/first-class seat on a 16-hour flight, whilst you're you're sitting in middle seat 93B back in cattle class. you're "winning" and outsmarting Da PLaNe KiKE. muppet.

>>519581982
>An ordinary bed doesn't work
dysgenic snowflake

>>519565080
I'm assuming it's Eight Sleep. They hit pretty much their max market share and can't make more money every year just by selling mattresses and mattress covers so they switched to a premium subscription model with AI features.

>>519582157
I'm thinking of retiring to be a hermit in a national forest, I don't want to be here much longer.

>>519570510
To be fair a normal human wouldn't associate bed with internet at all, it has little to do with language.

>>519582477
neither I do I, it's all going to shit and everyone lost their minds some time ago

>>519582504
>a normal human wouldn't associate bed with internet at all
Or fridge and internet, or washing machine and internet, or salt shaker and internet, yet here we are sadly.
>>519582670
Ever been to a party where you can tell some people are about to start shit and cops are gonna get called so you quietly make your way to the door to get out early? Kinda feels like that, only the party is our civilization.

>>519582369
>>An ordinary bed doesn't work
>dysgenic snowflake

poorfag detected.

Fools and their money are always quickly parted.

>>519571502
English native here. The headline is fine. It's perfectly grammatical.

>>519565819
You are an absolute fucking idiot.

>>519577108
The future is so much more grim than anyone could have ever imagined.

>>519577108
what the fuck is wrong with these idiots.

>>519570803
What sensor? I like the home automation stuff, but local only, no cloud.

>>519579710
1 hour later and no answer. That dude is in his AWS powered smart bed getting massive REM gains and we're basically stuck here like retards

>>519582477
Good luck plugging in your smart bed in the forest

AWS engineer here btw. I was on call and got paged at 2 am. we are still recovering which is retarded

>>519584308
You sound like you're not getting enough sleep
>>519585543
Sorry I was in my Amazon Prime wank chamber collecting jerk off data for optimized cooming

>>519577108
someone on x formerly twitter said 8sleep is just an aquarium cooler connected to a "mat" or net of tubes. they made their own with a premade mattres overlay

>>519565819
You're a fucking DUMBASS BRO. GO TO BED. GET OUT OF IT ONCE YOU FEEL RESTED. WHY ARE YOU OVERCOMPLICATING THE EASIEST CONCEPT ON THE PLANET?

>>519589702
You sound frustrated from chronically low sleep quality

>>519589996
I get amazing sleep because I go to bed whenever I want and get out of it whenever I want. YOU ALL SHOULD UNIRONICALLY TRY IT SOMETIME.