Thread 520239634

I haven't had sex in about 10-15 years. Some overweight "emo" chick messaged me on okcupid and lives in my town. She wants to hang out and seems to be getting "clingy". We haven't hung out yet but we are planning on doing it next week.

What should I do or not do to fuck this up?

I have basically not socialized in person with a human being outside of medical professionals or family for about 5 years. I don't want to fuck this up, /pol/. You are my only hope!

>>520239634 (OP)
>overweight emo chick
Can you narrow it down?

>>520239634 (OP)
Take her to McDonald’s, get your meal, before you eat tell her that there’s a cool trick you want to show her, grab one of the burgers, open up the burger and hold in one hand (take top bun off) punch it repeatedly with other hand until it’s a mess all over your other hand, turn to her and say “this will be your vagina in exactly 7 minutes”

>>520239723
hows he gunna do that? a fuckin ham knife?

>>520239634 (OP)
>Some overweight
nope.

weight is a choice. means she is lazy. That pussy will be rotten.

>>520239634 (OP)
Don’t worry about it. She’s already in love with you. Don’t forget to scrub your butthole. Overweight emo chicks love to eat ass. Whether you want them to or not. Facts.

>>520239634 (OP)
Prepare to plap

>>520239634 (OP)
>using Tinder
Tinder is a site for women to get ruined by chads.
90% of men should stay away, especially if you want a gf.

>>520239859
"This will be *in* your vagina in 7 minutes".
You can then either fist her or shove the burg into hers.

>>520239634 (OP)
Don't try hard. Don't seek validation. You're busy and don't have a lot of time to get out. That's relatable and it means you keep a busy life, which is a good icebreaker.
If she's shy and reclusive, you might be able to make a girlfriend out of her.
If she's a hoe, she probably makes good food and gives a decent blowjob. That might be nice for a little. Put zero effort in - ever.
If she's crazy, run and make sure you live in a big town.

>>520239634 (OP)
Read Heartiste

>>520239634 (OP)
just use your knowledge from 15 years ago. it will come back

Dunno I’ve seen two prime 18-20yo white women at the stores these past two days and I can’t help but stop thinking about them. Why tf can’t they be my wife, why tf am I tortured as a white male? Wtf is one supposed to do to get these whores?

>>520239894
No you need to use the butter knife.

>>520239859
>>520240967
Are you guys Frank Reynolds?

>about 10-15 years
How the shit is there any uncertainty lol how long ago was it retard

>>520239896
depends on how overweight
if she stays inside all day doing nothing , it will wall of rather easily and quickly if anon gets her out doing stuff.
if shes the size of the fat wojack then yeah..thats beyond saving.

>>520239634 (OP)
Dunno man. Were cooked.

Just buy a mail order russian bride, pump her full of 8 kids, and dont ever let her set foot in the west until youre ready to divorce her

Child support in russia is nothing. Like 100 dollars. If she divorces you in russia you still have custody, teach them emglish and bring them here when theyre adults

The situation here is unsalvageable. Wome have a body count of50 by the end of college and all 50 of them were chad. They will never accept a normal man, or just liudly resent you even if they accept you

>>520242061
fall off* im retarded. didnt mean to sage anyway.

>>520241883
Be violent or 6 foot. There is no other way

Women never evolved. Violent men were culled but women that like violent men were never culled. They never evolved

>>520239634 (OP)
If you don't meet a girl in highschool or college your only real option is to just do 1 night stands.

>>520239634 (OP)
Dating apps may have been ok once, but them the GODDAMNED GREEDY FUCKING *JEWS* (!!) GOT THEIR LITTLE RAT HANDS ON IT AND MONETIZED IT STRAIGHT INTO HELL.

Fucking kike yid rate jew motherfuckers need to be launched into the sun.

Can't even fuck a bitch no more cause of their fucking subversive tricks trying to always scheme every last dollar they can get their seditious little claws on.

>>520239634 (OP)
How fat are we talking here? A little chubby? Officially fat? Morbidly obese? If she's just a bit overweight go ahead and fuck her. It's the best you're going to do right now. If she's disgustingly fat, have her suck your dick then leave. And by hang out" I assume you mean one person will be going over to the other's house. Never let anyone see you in public with a fat chick; I don't care how long it's been since you got laid