ITT: Forgotten mic/promo Gods

In 6th grade I told some girls I was the quintessential studmuffin and they laughed at me

WHETHER THEY'RE WATCHING AT HOME OR HERE IN DAYTON, THEY'RE THINKIN OF ME....AND MASTURBATIN

I'm tired of people downplaying/ignoring his great promo skills just because he's a manlet who acted tougher than he actually was in real life
Dude was a top 10 promo among all North American wrestling companies back in the 90s

>>18175909
IT IS I
THE BACON IN HER EGGS

>>18175937
The problem is he only had 1 promo.

>>18175937
If Taz was legit like 4-5 inches taller he wouldn't be treated as such.
Thankfully this is a Tazmeister board

>>18175967
If Taz was 5 inches taller and not plagued with injuries by the time he went to WWE, he would have been one of the biggest stars of the Attitude and Ruthless Aggression eras
Imagine his promos against Rock, Austin, Jericho, Taker, Kane...
It sucks that height is such a difference-maker in wrestling

>>18175874 (OP)
Why didn’t WWE ever give him a shot?

>>18175993
I don't think his gimmick and non-pg promos would work by the time ECW was bought out

>>18175993
Vince didn't embrace Dudleyville.

>TURN ON THE TV WHILE SHE'S STARTING TO GET DIRTY
>I WAS GOING TO SHOW HER MY BIG BANG THEORY
>BUT AEW WAS ON, SHE SAID 'BEG MY PARDON'
>'TURN THAT GAY SHIT OFF, LET'S WATCH HOME AND GARDEN'

>>18175874 (OP)
I'M DRIPPING WITH SARCASM
I MAKE THE GIRLS DRIP....FROM ORGASM

>>18175992
>It sucks that height is such a difference-maker in wrestling
Taz simply was too early to the party. If he debuted around 2015 it would be a lot different

finna

>>18175874 (OP)
He later became a teacher.
Imagine being a child in class and studmuffin cuts a promo about telling your mom about your behaviour after he fucks her

>>18176254

>>18176254
>WAS GONNA INVITE SOME LADY TO WATCH DYNAMITE
>HEARD SHE WAS KINDA SOAPY, BUT A HELLA HELLA TIGHT
>BUT SHE GRABBED HOLD OF MY REMOTE AND PUT ON HGTV TONIGHT
>CAUSE SHE WAS ALL DRIED UP WATCHING MONE PRETEND TO FIGHT
>BECAUSE THIS HORSE IS LIKE UNSELLABLE HOUSES
>TOTAL ANTIDRAW, BORES THE GF'S AND THE SPOUSES
>CAN'T EVEN GET THEM OUT THEIR SKIRTS AND OUT THEIR BLOUSES
>THIS BOTCH MACHINE LEFT A FLOPPER IN MY TROUSERS
>SO NOW WE'RE SITTING KINDA HORNY, WATCHING BARGAIN BLOCK
>MY EXCITEMENT'S RISEN, AND IT'S SOMETHING OF A SHOCK
>I CAN FEEL THE BLOOD RUNNING, IT'S STARTING TO POOL AND DOCK
>GOOD OL' KEITH AND EVAN PUT A CHUBBY IN MY COCK
>THIS CHANNEL'S BETTER THAN TRANNY SHIT, DON'T EVER GET IT TWISTED
>YOU LEARN ABOUT A PROBLEM, AND HOW AN EXPERT FIXED IT.
>IT GET'S THE GIRLS ALL DRIPPING, I COULD PRACTICALLY FIST IT.
>OH FUCK, BETTER HURRY UP, WE'RE MISSING LOVE IT OR LIST IT.

>>18175874 (OP)
Well... well... well...
It is I, the Quintessential Studmuffin, Joel...
There once was a belt mark equestrian
With creative control through Jen Pepperman
Her name is Ponéigh
She pays alimoné
And that's why we all call her Hogan
...Gertner

based

>>18175993
Vince is a MAJOR size queen. He wants the biggest tallest studs he can find to hold him down and pound his bussy.

>>18176254
YOU STILL GOT IT

>>18176022
True. But he was still a great voice and if nothing else could be a manager. He had plenty left to offer

>>18178421
Would be HoF material if not for gayEW

>>18175874 (OP)
Joel Gertner was Based.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqqXxPOnMfk

>>18175874 (OP)

joel "sit on my pelvis, feel the shit that killed elvis" gertner

>>18181392
The numbers dont lie and they spell gape for her at sexcrifice

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3awfOs3PFKo&pp=ygUfZHJlYW0gbWFjaGluZSBtZW1waGlzIHdyZXN0bGluZw%3D%3D
>There are only two things I can't give Koko Ware, a black eye and a fat lip!

>>18175937
i too remember the janny closet promos

>>18175937
He really wasn’t. I loved Taz, but you’re insane. His vignettes? Sure, that’s fine. That run when he was on fire in ECW was really only 2 years though. I wouldn’t call what he was good at promoing though, more like he had great vignettes and prerecords. That’s like saying the Briscoes were top ten promo guys because they had those really great vignettes on the farm. For someone that ended up a commentator (and a pretty fucking funny one) he really choked on a live mic especially in his WWE run. A typical Taz live promo was this:
https://youtu.be/RAFExqu_PU4?si=zTuO3brataDMYVP5
Starts at around the 9 minute mark. Taz is in Philly so he’s getting great response but his cadence is not very good, he tries to get a weird phrase over
>the mood is about to change
Then he flubs his own gimmick and says
>They call me the human wrecking machine
Which no one has ever called him. Maybe they were trying to change it from the human suplex machine to give him the benefit of the doubt. At the end he just says
>they call you the Game? Well umm..I don’t play…
And then walks off. It was not good. This is basically the extent of his skills in WWE. HHH actually had the funniest line of the night when he turns to Stephanie off mic and clearly mouths the words
>who the fuck is this guy?

>>18175874 (OP)
They didn’t even need Joel. It was overkill. The Dudley’s were god tier heels in ECW and could work the mic themselves. The whole package of them together though and the 20 minute intro with no walkout music is one of my favorite things in wrestling history.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8JeHRUVp50

>>18183562
I'm still pretty baby!

>>18183254
>That’s like saying the Briscoes were top ten promo guys
They legitimately were.

>>18175937
Is there anyone that better demonstrates how good ECW-era Heyman was at getting anyone over? I'm not downplaying Taz's skills at all, but god damn. There's a picture of him with some of the NXT midgets like tyler bates where hes even shorter than them. never would have believed that from how he was presented on ECWs tv

>>18175874 (OP)
literally who?

>>18183598
She's so cute

>>18184779
WELL
WELL
WELL

That territory wrestler from the 60s-70s who sounded like Dan Aykroyd.
Keeping in theme with the thread I can't remember his name

>>18185482
https://youtu.be/vial5XB-DsA?si=Ro3hbtIK6Oz0fy_a