The bad-ass adventures of two losers under the great big Arceusdamn ball of fire.
====================================
"Dan?"
"Yeah?"
"I think we're gonna die out here."
"Yeah."
====================================
HANGOVER: Lisa: The Timeless OST - Allsides (OST Version) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CdtYefRxPc

When early SUNROSE appears with rosy fingers and pokes you right in the eye...

You wake up with a burgeoning headache and the most peculiar sense of déjà vu.

A warm sunbeam is shining through the cheap plastic window blinds and directly onto your face, teasing you like a beautiful woman away from the pleasant noise of your dreams. You grimace and shut your eyes tighter.

Perhaps if you keep your eyes closed for a little while longer, the unpleasant morning sun will vanish and the comfortable duskiness of the room will return to engulf you once more, just as a shroud of leaves is draped around a Swadloon. Your room, a fortress against all that is sadness and misery. That sounds good.

You turn to your side and pull your blanket over your head. You start to feel better, but not much.

Then there is a sound. A real sensation, drawing you further away from your ideal state. Damn.

Someone is moving around the room at an agitated pace. There's only one other person who lives with you. And now even through this haze of blood alcohol, you sense the faintest tendrils of that familiar psychic presence tapping insistently at the eggshell-thin walls of your mind.

And most unwisely, you tap back.

You know Garcian Smith as a a lot of things. He's a liar. He's a scoundrel. He's an asshole. He's a knight of the body. He's your shadow. He is your best friend and your brother. You'd say a lot more about him but the most important thing you can say right now is that you both drank way too much last night.

<Hey Dan.> His mental "voice" echoes dully through your collective inebriated haze.

<Hey Garcian,> you "say." You hiss in regret for responding with thought; it's too late now. With Garcian unable to regulate his telepathic connection, your headache starts to explode behind your eyes as you try to block out the impressions of things you really don't want to see/hear/feel/think about at all. An intoxication psychic feedback loop. All you can get out of the stream of foreign-garbage-thought-feedback-noise is

Pulse Landlord Dark Find Search Run Hide
Trash Hate Regret Hound Smoke Scum Fear
Backup Seek Urgent Candy Bark Terror Impulse
Trainer Look Wake Need Grab Touch Vomit

You groan. It's impossible to make sense of the ocean of words forming noise in your head. You terminate the psychic connection and wrap yourself up tighter. The day may have just started but you're more pajama than man at this point.

Goodnight again, SUNROSE. You saw its orange light for just a moment, maybe you'll see it again tomorrow...

>>6230311 (OP)
AH FUCK: Lisa : The Vegaful (Sample Update III) - Wroly (Home invasion 2 version) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSCUq4bNCpw

You are Garcian Smith, a Gardevoir and the starter Pokémon of Dan Smith, and you are on the verge of completely freaking the fuck out.

The Landlord is coming and your rent is due TODAY.

You knock on your head as you keep running this end-of-the-world scenario through a pulse-pounding hangover. The Landlord is bringing along that sniffer dog of his for a "surprise" inspection of the apartment. That shaggy thing follows him like... a hound, and it doesn't take being a Psychic type to know that the two of your are totally fucking boned if you don't find the drugs before he gets here. And Dan here is still clocked in at dreamland!

You've been protecting your trainer your entire life but now who's going to protect the two of you against the consequences of your own bad decisions?

So you need this guy wide awake and ready to rumble right now. You follow your instincts and...
>Stumble over and shake him as hard as you can. (GUNFIGHTER regional variant. Ghost/Steel typing. Likes solving problems by shooting the opponent in the face. Hard-headed and violent personality. "Power to overwhelm and destroy.")
>Shout with all your psychic power directly into his head. (PUREBREED. Psychic/Fairy typing. Uses a balanced mix of offensive and utility moves against the opponent. Abnormal and erratic personality. "WITNESS YOUR DOOOOOOOOM!")
>Turn on the lights and yank the sheets off. (DESPERADO regional variant. Poison/Dark typing. Employs mind games and an arsenal of toxins to debilitate and control the opponent. Hot-headed and impulsive. "Imagine having a weapon / that does not allow your enemy to sleep.")

>>6230328
>Shout with all your psychic power directly into his head. (PUREBREED. Psychic/Fairy typing. Uses a balanced mix of offensive and utility moves against the opponent. Abnormal and erratic personality. "WITNESS YOUR DOOOOOOOOM!")
The other versions look cool but I gotta go with the classic.

>>6230328
Tricky. Ghost/Steel is a fantastic combo both offensively and defensively, but Desperado is a cooler name. Since I have to pick, though:

>Stumble over and shake him as hard as you can. (GUNFIGHTER regional variant. Ghost/Steel typing. Likes solving problems by shooting the opponent in the face. Hard-headed and violent personality. "Power to overwhelm and destroy.")

>Stumble over and shake him as hard as you can. (GUNFIGHTER regional variant. Ghost/Steel typing. Likes solving problems by shooting the opponent in the face. Hard-headed and violent personality. "Power to overwhelm and destroy.")

>>6230328
>Stumble over and shake him as hard as you can. (GUNFIGHTER regional variant. Ghost/Steel typing. Likes solving problems by shooting the opponent in the face. Hard-headed and violent personality. "Power to overwhelm and destroy.")
Psychic guns baby

>>6230328
>>Shout with all your psychic power directly into his head. (PUREBREED. Psychic/Fairy typing. Uses a balanced mix of offensive and utility moves against the opponent. Abnormal and erratic personality. "WITNESS YOUR DOOOOOOOOM!")
I think it's funniest if it's just a normal Gardevoir.

>>6230328
>Stumble over and shake him as hard as you can. (GUNFIGHTER regional variant. Ghost/Steel typing. Likes solving problems by shooting the opponent in the face. Hard-headed and violent personality. "Power to overwhelm and destroy.")

>male gardevoir quest
how curious

>>6230328
>>Stumble over and shake him as hard as you can. (GUNFIGHTER regional variant. Ghost/Steel typing. Likes solving problems by shooting the opponent in the face. Hard-headed and violent personality. "Power to overwhelm and destroy.")

>>6230328
>Turn on the lights and yank the sheets off. (DESPERADO regional variant. Poison/Dark typing. Employs mind games and an arsenal of toxins to debilitate and control the opponent. Hot-headed and impulsive. "Imagine having a weapon / that does not allow your enemy to sleep.")
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNdR0HK4uso

>>6230328
>Stumble over and shake him as hard as you can. (GUNFIGHTER regional variant. Ghost/Steel typing. Likes solving problems by shooting the opponent in the face. Hard-headed and violent personality. "Power to overwhelm and destroy.")

>Turn on the lights and yank the sheets off. (DESPERADO regional variant. Poison/Dark typing. Employs mind games and an arsenal of toxins to debilitate and control the opponent. Hot-headed and impulsive. "Imagine having a weapon / that does not allow your enemy to sleep.")

>>6230328
>Shout with all your psychic power directly into his head. (PUREBREED. Psychic/Fairy typing. Uses a balanced mix of offensive and utility moves against the opponent. Abnormal and erratic personality. "WITNESS YOUR DOOOOOOOOM!")

GUNFIGHTER: Vy4, oZV, xgW, GAC, xBs, xqS
PUREBREED: I2E, suw, EDa
DESPERADO: 4GX, mel

Are you ready to ride, cowboy? Writing.

I will say now that Garcian's summary is abnormal, because he is abnormal.

>>6230514
This kind of idiot duo can only work between boys and men.

>Stumble over and shake him as hard as you can.

You are Dan Smith again and you wake up to Garcian literally pushing you awake. You mumble incoherently before he lets out a warbling cry of distress.

<DAN, GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP ALREADY!> Garcian shouts in your head.

"Whu—"

<THE RENT IS DUE TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER.>

Then it all clicks together. The Landlord..!

You push off the couch with both elbows and sit upright in a single try. So far so good, and then the entire room starts spinning like a Hitmontop. You try to stand upright but instead you roll out of the couch and into an ocean of empty beer cans. You yell and then flail and splash about like an impotent Magikarp. The cacophony of cans tumbling in every direction makes your head feel like it's going to explode, and your struggles grow even more violent in a vicious cycle of drunken incapacitation.

<Dan, stop moving, you idiot!" Garcian yells. You slow down for a moment and your best friend kneels down, puts his arm under your shoulder, and tries to manhandle you upright. <Try to fucking, ngh, stand up, why don't you???>
"I'm trying!"
<Well, try harder, then!>

You and Garcian struggle heroically against the forces of gravity, but it is a losing battle and Garcian is forced to seat you back on the couch. He puts both hands on his head and there's a phantom aching in your own.

You turn and take a good look at Garcian's face — the Gardevoir looks absolutely blasted.

You let out a hysterical laugh, but what little mirth you have dissipates as you turn your bleary eyes to the surrounding desolation of your apartment. It's more of a den for wild bachelors rather than a living space for a human being and his partner Pokémon. (And it smells a lot like one, too!) Now, these might be fine arrangements for the two of you in a vacuum, but you've gotten a few complaints from your Landlord and your neighbors about the smell and the loud music past 9 PM.

<Not our fault the walls are so thin,> Garcian mutters suddenly. You're a little surprised that the empathic connection still works that deep. Over the last few years, after the incident and his evolution, Garcian's psychic abilities have severely atrophied.

The sun continues to rise...

>>6231024
"So what are we going to do now?" you mutter a while. It subsided a little, but it's still so hard to think with this double headache, another pulse beating on your brain like a mad heartbeat. Everything's happening, everywhere, all at once. "This is absolutely fucking impossible to clean up."

The strained expression on Garcian's face gets darker. You feel a flash of emotions: despair, horror, disgust, regret for ever emerging from the egg, and then, with uttermost seriousness and perfect clarity, <I don't want to do this, but we gotta dump the quaaludes.>

Oh. Oh shit. The drug stash!!!

Garcian sends a mental image of the Landlord's barking Herdier (that little bastard!) then the face of an Officer Jenny and you realize that this may go beyond a simple chewing out if the Landlord finds out.

"Check the bathroom cabinet." You grind your teeth together. "In the dresser too, under my shirts."

But before Garcian can respond—

IMMINENT THREAT (LISA: The Hopeful OST · Chris Columbo (The Lovelies Version)) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AQFFvUhRTA

knock
Your heads swivel to the doorway.
knock
"Fuck," you hiss under your breath.
knock
<Fuck!> Garcian lets out a dark wave of frustration that pulses through the air.

With three knocks upon the door of unhappiness, the Landlord is here.

You can only react...
DAN (Status: Hungover)
>Answer the door right now.
>Put on a shirt, any shirt, and answer the door.
>Help Garcian with whatever he's doing. He seems to know what he's doing.
>Go back to bed. Hey, maybe you're still dreaming, and you're just having a heat stroke under that hot blasting sun. That'd be leagues better than being here.
>Vomit.
>WRITE IN.

GARCIAN (Status: Hungover)
>Grab a garbage bag! Everything must go! Throw it all out!
>Get the drugs now! Dump it!!!
>Teleport out. You don't need to pay rent if you're not there.
>Wiait fuck. As above but absolutely DO NOT FORGET TO BRING DAN.
>Vomit.
>WRITE IN.

>>6231034
>Vomit.

>Get the drugs now! Dump it!!!
then
>Wiait fuck. As above but absolutely DO NOT FORGET TO BRING DAN.

>>6231004
COLOR FIX

>>6231034
>>Help Garcian with whatever he's doing. He seems to know what he's doing.
>Get the drugs now! Dump it!!!

>>6231034
>Put on a shirt, any shirt, and answer the door.
BUY TIME BUY TIME
>Grab a garbage bag! Everything must go! Throw it all out!

>>6231034
>Put on a shirt, any shirt, and answer the door.
>Grab a garbage bag! Everything must go! Throw it all out!

>>6231034
>Put on a shirt, any shirt, and answer the door.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA, just buy some time while
>Get the drugs now! Dump it!!!
It doesn't matter if there is too much garbage, we NEED to get rid of the drugs

>>6231034
>Put on a shirt, any shirt, and answer the door.

>Grab a garbage bag! Everything must go! Throw it all out!

>>6231034
>Put on a shirt, any shirt, and answer the door.
>Get the drugs now! Dump it!!!

>>6230311 (OP)
>Garcian is a Gardevoir and not a Gallade
Was Dan too broke to get a Dawn Stone?

>>6231034
>Put on a shirt, any shirt, and answer the door.
>Get the drugs now! Dump it!!!

>>6231034
DAN:
>Put on a shirt, any shirt, and answer the door.

GARCIAN:
>Get the drugs now! Dump it!!!

Divide and conquer. One distracts, one acts.

Too late now, but i wouldve suggested opening the door without a shirt. Landlord would probably tell Dan to put a shirt on, allowing us to close the door and waste more time.

>DAN: Put on a shirt, any shirt, and answer the door.
>GARCIAN: Get the drugs now! Dump it!!!

"Comin', comin'," you shout hoarsely. With the orange-colored sky at your back, you grab the closest shirt you can find in the darkened room and throw it on. It smells like concentrated Dan after days of not being washed, but what can you do about it at this point? The walking death is knocking at your door.

"Dump it all," you whisper tersely. You rise slowly and start stumbling your way to the door, putting the shirt on as you move. "Dresser and bathroom. Go!"

Garcian doesn't move. "Garcian!"
<Dude, I'm gonna!>
"Then get to it!"
<Okay, I will!>

The Gardevoir stands up again, but pauses halfway. His expression is incredibly pained. You let out a heavy sigh as you button up. It hurts you inside just as much it hurts Garcian — all of your lovely, lovely pills gone! — but it has to be done.

"Listen, I know it sounds bad—"
<Because it is, asshole!>
"I don't like it either!" You make a vague yet forceful gesture towards the debris of your life. "But we just suck it up! Things aren't gonna go the way we like it all the time! Okay?"
And with what authority you can muster, you add "I promise you we'll get it back later. We just need to make it through today, alright Garcian?"

Garcian stares at you for a long moment, but he gives a slow, reassuring nod before wading into the mess.

You turn to the door and, standing on the threshold of the day, you give a little prayer to Aus and whatever else gods may be watching.

Then the door gently opens from the outside.

FAT BASTARD: OFF OST: Front Gate (Enoch intro only)

The Landlord.

A vast expanse of flesh, fat, and muscle fills the hallway. The man has the frame of an old Hariyama, with slack arms as wide as trash can and calloused hands which could rub raw iron into shape. His heavyset egg-like corpus is barely contained by his much-too-tight white button-down and a pair of black pants being held up by an almost equatorial belt. You crane your head upwards. A Gengarlike grin set in a lump of a head without a neck greets you back.

You swear to God that this fucker could rip apart a Typhlosion with his bare hands.

Despite the sweat forming all over and the overwhelming fear rising up inside you, you hold his gaze and step further into the doorway to block him from seeing the mess inside. Whatever happens, you need to give Garcian more time.

Neither of you say a word. His smile is unwavering, but you stand your ground with grit teeth and a stiff upper lip.

The sound of the toilet flushing behind you fills you with relief and the strength to endure.

>>6232594
Then the silence is broken by a sudden bark followed by a harsh metallic sound. You look downwards to see a little red and black figure covered in blades step in front of his master, going click, click, click with each footstep, and stand at attention with his yellow eyes wide open. He's followed by a marginally larger brown dog with a bushy mustache and a coat of blue shaggy fur. These two are the Landlord's Pawniard and Herdier — his loyal soldier and his trusted consigliere.

You're suddenly struck by the horrifying realization that you can't do anything to stop the Landlord and his gang from barging in for their imminent inspection. Sure, the doorway might give the apartment's "Big Mister" some trouble, but you know that wouldn't stop him at all.

The Landlord puffs out a low, jovial chuckle, breaking his own silence.

"How's it goin' here, Danny boy?" he rumbles. "Is everything okay? Heard you've been in a rough spot since your discharge a few weeks ago."

"Y-Y-Yeah, everything's okaaaaaay," you say very very slowly. There's a unexpected cry of surprise from inside your apartment. Sweat starts pouring down your brow. You can't turn around to see what's going on back there. Garcian, please don't fuck this up...

The eyes of the Landlord's Pokémon narrow ever so slightly.

"Good, good. I'm pleased to hear that from my tenants. I do my best to make sure the people here are happy." He lets out another good-humored chuckle, coming from the depths of his massive body. "We're like family. Family helps each other out, right?"

"Yet, you look so troubled, Danny! Maybe you should put on some pants on next time. The desert gets awful cold at night. Har. Har." His laugh wheezes out like a gigantic deflating Drifblim.

You look down and oh sweet legends, you're in your boxers. You start choking.

"Well, you know the drill, boys," the Landlord huffs, with the placid grin contorting on his face like wet dough. "Another 30 days down the drain. End of the month. I've come to collect."

"H-How much do we owe?" You know the rent and he knows that you know, but you have no idea if Garcian's done yet or not. The Herdier's sudden bout of sniffing is all you can concentrate on.

"22,000 POKÉ," he breathes out.

You look up very quickly, too quickly, and the Landlord leans down, puts his slab of a hand gently on your shoulder, and looks straight into the depths of your soul. He smacks his lips very loudly and says,
>"Look, I'll do you a favor, little nephew. For your mother's sake, Arceus rest her soul." [You ARE family after all. You just don't see the resemblance...]
>"It's been a rough month for the two of you, I get that." [You're a MOSTLY RELIABLE guy. You do have a little sum of money with you but the Landlord doesn't need to know that...]
>"You little freakshit, I'm not running a charity here." [You're PITIFUL and you have NO money, ha ha ha...]
>WRITE IN. (Why does Landlord put up with you and Garican?)

>>6232597
DAN
>We don't have the money.
>We can pay. (You have up to 11,000 Poké on you right now.)
>We can pay. I'll go get it. (Lie.)
>please dont kill me
>... friendly Pokémon battle first?
>WRITE IN.

Hahah word limit.

>>6232598

<Woah!> You almost trip and drop the last of the cabinet stash as you see something moving in the bathroom.

GARBAGE ENCOUNTER (LISA OST Garbage Day - Properly Extended) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptDvtec8ELo

You have no idea what the fuck you're looking at, but it's clearly eating from the stash of pills you have there.

The thing in the cabinet turns to face you. The trashbag with wide eyeballs (???) lets out a soft whooping noise of its own.

You stare the Pokémon (you think it's a fellow Pokémon?) down. It's rather dumpy and almost cute and in the corner of its mouth is one of your "RARE CANDIES" WHICH YOU AND DAN WORKED SO HARD TO GATHER THROUGHOUT THE MONTHS.

At your sudden change of expression, the garbage bag slurps up its stolen candy quickly. It tilts its head one way as its face morphs into an expression of concern.

Your head feels like it's killing you. You feel like you're about to explode.
>Cram your arm inside of it and get your stash back!
>Grab it and flush it down the toilet!
>Zap it with your mind!
>Find a Pokéball?
>Vomit.
>WRITE IN.

>>6232597
>"Look, I'll do you a favor, little nephew. For your mother's sake, Arceus rest her soul." [You ARE family after all. You just don't see the resemblance...]
With family like this, who needs enemies?

>>6232598
>We don't have the money.
>please dont kill me

>>6232603
>Cram your arm inside of it and get your stash back!
>Find a Pokéball?

>>6232597
>"It's been a rough month for the two of you, I get that." [You're a MOSTLY RELIABLE guy. You do have a little sum of money with you but the Landlord doesn't need to know that...]

>>6232598
>We can pay. (You have up to 11,000 Poké on you right now.)
We're good for the rest, honest. We just need a couple days.

>>6232603
>Vomit.
>Let it eat the pills, too, since Dan said to dump them.
We'll get more.

>>6232597
>>"Look, I'll do you a favor, little nephew. For your mother's sake, Arceus rest her soul." [You ARE family after all. You just don't see the resemblance...]

>We don't have the money.
He doesn't need to know we do have some emergency funds.

>Find a Pokéball?
Let's catch it and sell to some dumbass, it's a shiny one that ought a cover some costs.

>>6232597
>"It's been a rough month for the two of you, I get that." [You're a MOSTLY RELIABLE guy. You do have a little sum of money with you but the Landlord doesn't need to know that...]

>We can pay. (You have up to 11,000 Poké on you right now.)

>Vomit.
>Let it eat the pills, too, since Dan said to dump them.

>>6232597
>"It's been a rough month for the two of you, I get that." [You're a MOSTLY RELIABLE guy. You do have a little sum of money with you but the Landlord doesn't need to know that...]
This puts us in the best position in the long term. We would likely owe the landlord some awful favor with the first option.

>>6232598
>We can pay. (You have up to 11,000 Poké on you right now.)

>>6232603
>Vomit.
>Let it eat the pills, too, since Dan said to dump them.
Let's save the Pokeball for a rainy day -- other than this one of course.

>>6232597
>"It's been a rough month for the two of you, I get that." [You're a MOSTLY RELIABLE guy. You do have a little sum of money with you but the Landlord doesn't need to know that...]

>We don't have the money.

>Vomit.
>Let it eat the pills, too, since Dan said to dump them.

>>6232597
>"It's been a rough month for the two of you, I get that." [You're a MOSTLY RELIABLE guy. You do have a little sum of money with you but the Landlord doesn't need to know that...]
Too bad, he does. He owns the place and nearly owns our ass
>>6232598
>We can pay. (You have up to 11,000 Poké on you right now.)
Actual cash is more likely to get him off of us more than anything else
>>6232603
>Vomit
Gotta let it out and feel a bit better
>Let it eat the pills, too, since Dan said to dump them
This could win it over to our side

JUST FOR FUN VOTES:
>PICK YOUR DAN DESIGN
1. Generic Asianoid.
2. Featureless Gray Mystery Nigga.
3. Actual Dan Smith.
4. Grunt.
5. DRAW-IN.

>The Landlord is your blood relative.
>The Landlord is not related to you.
Secondary vote for the Landlord (ie. "what is your relationship to this freak?"). The actual meaningful story vote is "how is your relationship with the Landlord?"

>>6232741
>3 but scruffier and unshaven, no way we're that clean cut

>The Landlord is not related to you.

>>6232750
+1

>>6232741
>>6232750
>picrel

>>6232741
>2. Featureless Gray Mystery Nigga.
>The Landlord is your blood relative.

>>6232741
>2. Featureless Gray Mystery Nigga.
>>>6232720
The Landlord is your blood relative

>>6232598
>We don't have the money.
>>6232603
Vomit
>>6232750
>>6232754
+1

>>6232741
>>6232750
>>6232754
+1
>The Landlord is not related to you.

>>6232597
>"Look, I'll do you a favor, little nephew. For your mother's sake, Arceus rest her soul." [You ARE family after all. You just don't see the resemblance...]
>>6232598
>We don't have the money.
>please dont kill me
>>6232603
>Vomit.
>Let it eat the pills, too, since Dan said to dump them.

>>6232750
>3 but scruffier
>The Landlord is your blood relative.

>"It's been a rough month for the two of you, I get that." [You're a MOSTLY RELIABLE guy. You do have a little sum of money with you but the Landlord doesn't need to know that.]

"The League breathing down our backs hasn't been making our lives any easier. Those Kantonians think they can push anybody around." The side of his face twitches. You nod with a sort of vague understanding of what he's talking about, but geopolitics, man. It's all Hisuian to you.

"In any case, it's no good for a young man like you to waste away his time in a dark room. Even if it's time well-wasted."

"Listen to my words, Danny. The early morning has gold in its mouth. The world under SUNROSE is a large flat plane of opportunity. Put the time and effort into your plans. Set goals. CEO mindset. Grind never stops."

The Landlord crosses his arms and nods to himself, clearly satisfied by his own voice.

>"We can pay." (You have up to 11,000 Poké on you right now.)

You switch the subject quickly. Listening to this fat old man spew gibberish out of his mouth like an endless fountain of Tauros shit isn't helping your headache.

He looks at you strangely. "All twenty-two thousand?"
"No, but —"
"Shhh. Do you see these, Danny?" The rotund man holds his hands up, in all their roughness and callousness. "My hands are empty, Dan. I want to feel the smoothness of each and every one of those bills with them. No more excuses. I want you to go all the way with this, not, well, half of the way."

His grin widens as if enjoying some supreme joke only he understands. You feel like something is terribly wrong, but then it passes.

"Open it up, sonny." He motions to his oversized Pawniard. He nods and lets out a metallic hiss before pushing past your legs and barging right into your apartment.

You thought it was bad enough waking up, but the morning light shining in from the hallway and the windows reveals it to be much, much worse.

Shirts and clothes strewn everywhere. Garbage bags full and filling up. Bottles and cans everywhere. A empty pizza box enthroned on a pile of unsorted recyclables. The pants that you didn't wear with your shirt. Above it all is the faint smell of rotting Pecha berries and other foodstuff. Weeks of zero effort living in all their glory.

The steel type hazards a few steps in, stops, and shakes his head. The Landlord stands in the doorway, quietly assessing the situation, while the mutt takes in a deep sniff and then whines softly.

You try to find the right words to alleviate the mounting tension, but then Garican opens his mouth before you can.

>GARCIAN: Vomit.
>GARCIAN: Let it eat the pills, too, since Dan said to dump them.

Your mouth is a passageway, a sluice gate opening for the nausea in your gut. The pressure increases, the bitter-black bile taking the express esophageal elevator. It finds salvation in momentum, the liquid propellant charting an escape trajectory.

You puke chunks.

...
Garcian blacked out.

>>6233678
You hear a sustained stream of fluid hitting water and splattering against porcelain. There's a low cry of a Gardevoir, a groan filled with pain and suffering, and then it all goes quiet.

The Landlord turns to look at you. The eternally smiling face has twisted into an expression contains the sheer visceral disgust, anger, and disappointment of a father whose son admits to beating off to pictures of "hot Lucario."

"Danny, I would say something terrible, but I changed my mind. I'm giving you boys another chance. You have..."

>A SINGLE DAY. [LUNATIC MODE] Are you ready to ride, cowboy?
>THREE DAYS.
>AN ENTIRE WEEK.

"... to get your money together, and no more. Violations of time agreements are violations of trust. If you cannot be trusted, you have no place in my building." He jabs a sausage-like finger right into your chest. "Danny, my boy, I trust you enough that you'll make up what you owe me. Get your shit together. No freakouts. Understand?"

You feel a sudden spike of anger and shame out of misplaced pride. This hasn't happened before, you want to say in protest, but the money still isn't in his hands and he's not taking what you can give him. You just have to stand there and take it. Anything else would probably result in him beating you to death right on the spot with his bare hands.

You nod silently.

"Good, good." The Landlord's face returns to that same placid grin like nothing had happened. "You know where to find me, Danny."

The big man trundles off, followed by the now sulking Herdier. The Pawniard gives you an inscrutable look as he leaves. Good luck or maybe this is all on you.

You make sure the Landlord's gang turns the corner before entering your apartment and locking the door behind you. You look around blearily for a moment, before fishing out a Rustboro Red from your pant's pocket and lighting up.

What an utter fuck of a day this has been.

>>6235620

APARTMENT (Spanish Waltz - Castle Crashers) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLchXp8FCbI

The toasty taste of the cigarette is familiar and reassuring. The fear and raw intimidation which were eating at you like poison seems to fade away.

There's nothing like a good smoke.

In between puffs, you get to thinking. Mostly just fuming about what happened, but you realize the silver lining to all this is that you passed the Landlord's "inspection" with flying colors.

So much for not half-assing things, you fat piece of fucking—

You flick at the end of your cigarette and watch the ash flutter downwards. You've been burning through it too fast. A quick stomp knocks over a few more cans.

You get the sudden idea of leaving Garcian in the bathroom for the rest of the day.

You take another puff, then let out a long-suffering, smoke-filled sigh as you walk over to check on whatever trouble he's gotten himself into.

"What the hell," you mutter.

In the bathroom, you see a Trubbish of all things shoving Garcian's prone form into an almost text book recovery position. In his hands is a bag with a few "candies" from a long, long time ago. It looks like he was just about to finish trashing the very last of the stuff before he collapsed.

The Trubbish finishes adjusting Garcian's arms with its own trash limbs before turning to look at you. It squares you up with a miffed look on its face.

Is this yours? It seems to ask. Or You know what this guy's problem? is the better translation.

"Yeah. He's my brother." That about sums it all up. You think of something else to say.

"Thanks, I guess?" You scratch the side of your head and instinctively sniff it. It instantly becomes obvious why there's a trash bag Pokémon living in your apartment.

The Trubbish rolls its eyes with a huff, then reaches out and swallows the baggie out of of Garcian's hands. You briefly consider putting your hand inside of it then start wondering where exactly you went wrong in life.

DEBT: 22,000 Poké
OWNED: 11,000 Poké

DAN (Status: HUNGOVER)
>Break a bottle over the Trubbish's head. It's clearly a wild(?) Pokémon and you don't want that in your living room.
>You're pretty sure you have a spare Pokeball. Somewhere.
>Drag Garcian out and lock the door. The Trubbish is a problem for another time.
>Lock the bathroom door.
>Clean up as much as you can.
>This is too hard, you're going back to bed.
>WRITE IN.

GARCIAN (Status: FAINTED..?)
>Suffer.
>Suffer.
>Suffer.
>Crawl out and not be 200 pounds of crap in a 100 pound bag.
>WRITE IN.
====================================
AN: Apologies for the delay. Finals week.

>>6235620
>AN ENTIRE WEEK.
Se7en days to live

>>6235621
DAN
>Ask the Trubbish if he wants to help out. It eats garbage, right? Your apartment is full of trash like your landlord is full of shit. Surely you can work out a deal...
>You're pretty sure you have a spare Pokeball. Somewhere.
But if he wants to stay uncaught then we can easily make use of his "services" before we send him on his merry way outside
In the meantime
>Turn on the bathtub faucet and wash Garcian. Your brother needs it

GARCIAN
>Suffer
>Feel the bliss of purifying water from the shitty bathtub
>Suffer a bit less

We need that money and we need to pull ourselves together for that money if nothing else. No money, no life because the landlord will KILL US

>>6235620
>>A SINGLE DAY.
>You're pretty sure you have a spare Pokeball. Somewhere.
>Crawl out and not be 200 pounds of crap in a 100 pound bag.
LETS FUCKING GOOOO

>>6235620
>AN ENTIRE WEEK.

DAN
>Ask the Trubbish if he wants to help out. It eats garbage, right? Your apartment is full of trash like your landlord is full of shit. Surely you can work out a deal...
>You're pretty sure you have a spare Pokeball. Somewhere.

GARCIAN
>Crawl out and not be 200 pounds of crap in a 100 pound bag.
>Cry

>>6235626
+1

>>6235620
>THREE DAYS.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dNh_A34ulk

>>6235621
>>6235626
+1

>>6235626
+1

>>6235749
>>6232754
Your drawings for my quest color my heart. Thank you.
Captcha: J0YY0

>>6235881

>>6235610
>"The League breathing down our backs hasn't been making our lives any easier. Those Kantonians think they can push anybody around."
I'm guessing we're in Johto unless the Rustboro Reds indicate we're in Hoenn?

>>6235620
>AN ENTIRE WEEK.
Let's give ourselves as much time as we can get.

>>6235620
>>6235626
Agreed.

Fellas, I'm gonna change the time vote because it's funny as fuck tormenting Dan and Garcian, and because I genuinely think THREE DAYS TO LIVE makes for a more riveting story. Adding the week option was a sudden decision and I regret being so impulsive. So the vote is just
>1 DAY
>3 DAYS
I will count the "entire week" votes for "three days" option. You can still change to 1 day if you want lol.

>>6236108
>1 DAY
Lunatic mode is go.

>>6236176
Oh, and...

>>6235621
>Suffer.
>You're pretty sure you have a spare Pokeball. Somewhere.
It can eat our trash to help clean, and then help us make money. Handy!

>>6236108
>3 DAYS
It happens.

>>6236108
3 DAYS

>YOU HAVE THREE DAYS TO LIVE ("Now don't fuck this up, you little shits.")

The Landlord may try to play uncle, but he's about as obvious as a Mimikyu with all that hideous faux-avuncularity. It really pisses you off that you're under his fat thumb like this.

The temptation of sleep has long passed; you'll probably see that prick's smile in your dreams. That, and the bile will rise up to your face if you try to lie down.

On the bright side, you think you didn't drink as much as Garcian did; you can stand and move around without feeling like a Grimer is going to crawl out of your throat.

You feel a little bit sleepy and a little bit embarrassed and more than a little pissed, but for all intents and purposes, you're practically sober. Must be all that sweating you did earlier.

DAN (STATUS: Hungover -> Okay)

I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS TEGAKI ON THIS BOARD WOW!!!

>>6236731
>Ask the Trubbish if he wants to help out. It eats garbage, right? Your apartment is full of trash like your landlord is full of shit. Surely you can work out a deal...

You click your tongue to get the rubbish rabbit's attention. He swivels his body to face you, munching on the regurgitated baggie of "candies" like a pack of extra spicy Magmar Crisps. Yeah... You're not gonna fight him over it. You've written the drugs off as "successfully dumped" already.

"Hey kid, there's an all-you-can-eat buffet out here. You wanna come and help us out?" You point a thumb behind you.

He stares at you with that same vaguely judgmental, annoyed look and lets out a series of half-grunting, half-honking noises. The expression hasn't changed at all. You decide to take it as a "yes."

"Cool. Go nuts, little man." You show him the door. The Trubbish hops off the trash bin and waddles out at a good pace. You pinch your nose as you catch a whiff of something rancid after he passes. You follow him out. He seems awfully hungry judging from how loudly he's crunching on the glasses.

>You're pretty sure you have a spare Pokeball. Somewhere.
>But if he wants to stay uncaught then we can easily make use of his "services" before we send him on his merry way outside.
>It can eat our trash to help clean, and then help us make money. Handy!

Hey, now there's a thought. Smoking really does help you think more clearly.

+1 DAN POINT

You could be a little wary of the little critter. He's one of the archetypal Poison types Pokémon — one puff to the face and you're probably going to get space AIDS or smogon or some horrible Pokénotic disease.

But... There's money to be made here. Maybe.

You go out and put your pants on. A bit of fishing through the pockets finds you your last "free" ball. You hold it up to the orange light. A little scuffed and still technically illegal but the recall laser and stasis seal look good.

"Hey kid. You enjoying yourself?" The Trubbish looks like it's made good headway on the trash piled up. There's not many valuables in your apartment besides what's on you right now and the radio playing the guitar music. He nods slowly, carefully, sizing you up, as if already sensing your intentions. You nod approvingly.

"You're a smart guy. Me and Garcian could, uh, really use your help, you know." You hold up the Pokéball and give it a little shake. You remember to smile. "Want to buddy up? I can show you some real primo trash later on."

The Trubbish stares at you for a long, long moment before letting out a decisive meow and going back to cleaning up.

Huh.

You didn't know Trubbish could do that.

>>6236733
>Turn on the bathtub faucet and wash Garcian. Your brother needs it.

>Suffer
>Feel the bliss of purifying water from the shitty bathtub
>Suffer a bit less

<You feel better but not much.>

Garcian looks a bit more sentient as the water cleanses the vomit off his trench coat. You'd rather not risk opening a proper two-way connection right now, so you decide to say a few words to assess his state of mind.

"Garcian, you know, if you stay there any longer, you're gonna start rusting."
<AM HANGOVER, CANT SPEAK.> Garcian grimaces.

"Garcian, I think you should drink some water and take a multivitamin."
The Gardevoir makes a murmuring chiming noise.

"Garican, I'm gonna sell off your mags to cover the rent."
Your brother splashes upright and flips you off. A grin cracks your face.

"Maybe there's hope for you yet. Can you get up?"
<Nnngh. I can try. Give me... a minute.>

Yup, Garican's definitely "awake." He still looks terrible, but at least he's not shitting and puking at the same time, vomiting out all the appreciation for his favorite libations, much like the last time this happened.

<That was YOU, asshole.>
"Yeah, yeah, suuuuuuuuure..."

You take a long drag and let the nicotine soothe your burning brain.

<So, Dan...>
"Hmm?"
<What shall we do now?>
"Hmm..."

TIME: MORNING; 3 DAYS REMAIN
DEBT: 22,000 Poké
OWNED: 11,000 Poké

DAN POINTS: 3
GARCIAN POINTS: 1

DAN (Status: Okay)
GARCIAN (Status: Hungover)

DAN & GARICAN
>Step outside and go for a walk. Try to remember where you are. [CHOICE]
>Head down to the Pokécenter. It'll cost you a small fee though.
>Try to find some kids to sell your cigarettes and beer to. A little pocket money to raise your spirits, more than anything else.
>Actually go out and pawn off Garcian's shit. <HAY!>
>WRITE IN.

>>6236733
Of course. Trubbish are cats after all.
>>6236737
>>Step outside and go for a walk. Try to remember where you are. [CHOICE]

>>6236737
I forgot to write this bit in:

You struggle immensely with carrying Garcian's prone form. Being a Ghost type, he weighs much less when he's awake, but, being a Steel type, he's at least a hundred pounds heavier when he's clocked out. You have to shove him against the side of the bathtub, stand inside and drag him over the edge, and then unceremoniously push him overboard with a loud clanking noise.

Man, it feels like something popped inside you. You really hope that isn't going to bite you in the back when you get older.

>>6236739
Well, I mean, Sneasel's there too, and it's mustelid.

>>6236737
>Step outside and go for a walk. Try to remember where you are. [CHOICE]

>>6236737
>Step outside and go for a walk. Try to remember where you are. [CHOICE]
TAKE IN THAT SWEET, SWEET POISON-RICH AIR.

>>6236737
>Step outside and go for a walk. Try to remember where you are. [CHOICE]

>>6236737
>Step outside and go for a walk. Try to remember where you are. [CHOICE]

>Step outside and go for a walk. Try to remember where you are. [CHOICE]
"I'm stepping out for a little bit. You can stay here if you like."

Without waiting for a response, you slink out the bathroom, past the feasting Trubbish who gives you a quick glance, and out into the open-air corridor.

You breathe that sweet, sweet air in. Boy, it feels... okay. Just alright. Good and refreshing, but expected, like the sweetness of water after a night of binge drinking or a day spent baking under the hot SUNROSE.

You look upwards into the sky and instantly regret it as the sight sears itself into your eyeballs.

"Ah fuck."

Man, what else did you expect from looking directly into the suns??? You blink back stars.

The twin sister SUNROSES are doing their morning dance, climbing higher and higher into the sky on their graceful arc. One smaller and the other larger. One white and yellow and the other darker orange. One leading and the other lagging. If you were a bit more poetic, you could say a few words about this, but that seems a little too cynical. You never bothered to learn which one was B and which one was A, and all this natural sunlight stuff can't be good for your skin anyway.

>>6236870
The cigarette is almost done for. You can't stay home, but you don't have to go anywhere either. It's tempting to stand on this balcony hallway for ever, looking out towards the views of exoplanet SUNROSE a, the planet of beautiful sunsets...

Your apartment complex, the Magnolia Glen, is located in:
>BLACKSTAR CITADEL. An extremely populous megastructure that began in the bottom of the largest canyon. The urban environment is rather comfortable and technologically advanced but there are many abnormalities in its design. Has the most extensive mining operations and connections to the Governing Authority of SUNROSE. (DEPTHS)
>WHITE SANDS ARCOLOGY. A towering white skyscraper in the middle of the desert. Started as a utopian social engineering project, and then degenerated into something else. Is closest to the most active starport on SUNROSE. (HEIGHTS)
>TWILIGHT TOWN. A moderately large town which grew around the base of the unfinished SUNTOWER capital. More and more people are arriving with each passing month, and political unrest is stirring. Most connected to officials from the League of Nations, the governing body of the major Pokéarth regions. (HOME)
>WRITE IN.

>Head down to the Pokécenter with Garcian. It'll cost you a small fee though.
>Try to find some kids to sell your cigarettes and beer to. A little pocket money to raise your spirits, more than anything else.
>Actually go and pawn off Garcian's shit.
>Go back to your apartment and sleep. You'll feel a bit less philosophical and more invigorated later.
>Try to find someone to talk to in the apartment complex. (Roll 1d100, three anons.)
>WRITE IN.

====================================
AN: Okay, I don't know what I was thinking, but here's the actual choice.

>>6236870
...Huh. We're in space? Unexpected.

>>6236881
>TWILIGHT TOWN. A moderately large town which grew around the base of the unfinished SUNTOWER capital. More and more people are arriving with each passing month, and political unrest is stirring. Most connected to officials from the League of Nations, the governing body of the major Pokéarth regions. (HOME)
Maybe we can get government work?

>Head down to the Pokécenter with Garcian. It'll cost you a small fee though.
We can't do this alone.

>>6236881
>>WHITE SANDS ARCOLOGY. A towering white skyscraper in the middle of the desert. Started as a utopian social engineering project, and then degenerated into something else. Is closest to the most active starport on SUNROSE. (HEIGHTS)
>Head down to the Pokécenter with Garcian. It'll cost you a small fee though.

>>6236881
>WHITE SANDS ARCOLOGY. A towering white skyscraper in the middle of the desert. Started as a utopian social engineering project, and then degenerated into something else. Is closest to the most active starport on SUNROSE. (HEIGHTS)

>Try to find some kids to sell your cigarettes and beer to. A little pocket money to raise your spirits, more than anything else.
NICK O' TEEN.

>>6236881

Your apartment complex, the Magnolia Glen, is located in:
>BLACKSTAR CITADEL. An extremely populous megastructure that began in the bottom of the largest canyon. The urban environment is rather comfortable and technologically advanced but there are many abnormalities in its design. Has the most extensive mining operations and connections to the Governing Authority of SUNROSE. (DEPTHS)
>WHITE SANDS ARCOLOGY. A towering white skyscraper in the middle of the desert. Started as a utopian social engineering project, and then degenerated into a human hive city. Is closest to the most active starport and is a major trade center on SUNROSE. (HEIGHTS)
>TWILIGHT TOWN. A moderately large town which grew around the base of the unfinished SUNTOWER capital. More and more people are arriving with each passing month, and serious political unrest is stirring. Most connected to officials from the League of Nations, the governing body of the major Pokéarth regions. (HOME)
>WRITE IN.