A buzzing sound woke you – not the usual alarm clock noise, more like a large bug flying right past your ear.
The scenery greeting you was unfamiliar. Trees. Bushes. Insects flying around. The sounds of cawing and croaking filling the air. “Shit.”
You usually spend your days holed up in your cramped apartment, playing videogames, shitposting. Drowning in your misery, finding comfort only through energy drinks and junk food.
Try as you might, you can’t seem to recall what could have possibly brought you to this place. Kidnapping? Finally having a psychotic breakdown?
You got up, brushing the dirt off your clothes. Being alone in the woods gave you the creeps, like at any moment some animal would jump you.
Something shuffled in the bushes. You flinched.
“Hello? Anyone out there?” you called, cautiously.
“Yes. I’m here. Watching. Just like I was watching when you typed down those words.” That didn’t come from the bushes. Sounded like a woman. Girl, really. Yet, hearing another person didn't bring you any comfort.
Your eyes darted all over, looking for the speaker. The realization set in that the voice was really in your head.
“You said, and I quote ‘I could take the gorilla solo.’ Well, here’s your chance, hero. Prove it to this one goddess,” she said, the poison dripped from her words.
Something straight out of a shitty anime burst into view: a game menu. Generic as hell, blue translucent UI, the works.
>[Mission Acquired: Defeat 100 Evil Gorillas and Save the World]
“Oh no…” you rubbed your temples. “I’m stuck in a shitty fucking isekai.”
Another menu popped up.
>[Status]
Class: Shitposter (Lv.1)
Might: -1
Agility: -1
Endurance: -1
Intellect: +1
Skills: Videogames +1, Shitposting +2
Now, what the fuck should you do in a survival situation? You think…
>A) I’m pretty sure I read online that I had to find water first… (Roll d20 best of 3)
>B) No wait, it said to find shelter. Definitely. (Roll d20 best of 3)
>C) Or perhaps it was to find a weapon? (Roll d20 best of 3)
>D) Freak the fuck out!
>E) Write-in

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>6233863 (OP)
>A) I’m pretty sure I read online that I had to find water first

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>6233863 (OP)
>A) I’m pretty sure I read online that I had to find water first… (Roll d20 best of 3)

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>6233863 (OP)
>A) I’m pretty sure I read online that I had to find water first…

>>6233863 (OP)
>A) I’m pretty sure I read online that I had to find water first
Moisture is immeasurably necessary for survival.

>>6233863 (OP)
We better end up with a harem of different primates by the end of this.

>>6233863 (OP)
>>6234010
(Rolled 19) - Anon is [b]thirsty[/b]
You’re pretty sure you read online that in such situations one had to find water first. That or piss in a bottle.
“Ah whatever,” you muttered at no one in particular. You checked your surroundings once more.
Terrain was sloped down to the east. Water goes *down*. It isn't rocket science.
Unless this is some magical land where gravity is all screwed, it just makes sense for it to flow that way.
You start walking in that direction. Though soon enough walking turns into trudging. You’re really not used to exercising, especially in this heat.
Thankfully the croaking grows loader, the clouds of insects become denser, and eventually you hear the noise of water rushing through rocks.
A stream! Not the kind you’re used to though.
When you finally arrive at the small river, you’re greeted by yet another pop-up window:
>Scouting +4 XP [4/5]
“So that’s how that works huh? Shitty goddess at least made it a bit easier for me.”
“You know I’m still watching you, right? Want me to take away that system?”, she whispers in your mind. Damn weirdo.
You bite your tongue, the instinct to reply with some insult being overridden by your desire not to die.
The waters are clean, seem potable. Well, not that you’re an expert.
You kneel down by the riverbank and drink away. It’s a much-needed relief after walking around in a tropical jungle.
Perhaps if you went any longer without it you might develop heatstroke.
Something splashes further downstream.
Glancing that way, wary of any dangerous fauna, you spot…
A girl, a normal human — wait, no. Striped tail, perked up ears. A monkey girl. A goddamn monkey girl.
Holy shit, maybe the goddess isn’t so bad after all.
You watch her intently. She’s washing some rags in a bucket. Her clothes are also pretty threadbare. The lemur girl doesn’t seem to notice you, for now.
>Pick & Roll d20 best of three
>A) Make monkey noises at her, speak her native tongue.
>B) Try to hide in the bushes and observe, maybe follow her back to wherever she came from.
>C) Maybe it *is* time to get a weapon, at least a big stick
>D) Call out and introduce yourself like a supreme gentleman (Name?)
>E) Write in

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>6234125
>A) Make monkey noises at her, speak her native tongue.
Goddess has definitely granted us the ability to speak all monkey languages, right?

>>6234125
>C) Maybe it *is* time to get a weapon, at least a big stick
Never interact with a woman without preparing for death.

>>6234125
>D) Call out and introduce yourself like a supreme gentleman (Name?)
Our name is Dough Fosaux (The last name is French, pronounced Fo Sho)

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>6234125
>B) Try to hide in the bushes and observe, maybe follow her back to wherever she came from.
We're here to fight monki, there's no guarantee that she'll be friendly.

>>6234125
>A) Make monkey noises at her, speak her native tongue.
I'm pro-monkey diplomacy, but agreee with >>6234177 for our name. Dough Fosaux is a true apeslayer's title.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>6234125
>C) Maybe it *is* time to get a weapon, at least a big stick

>>6234125
>D) Call out and introduce yourself like a supreme gentleman (Name?)
>Domo Raragimaru-kun desu
Then you need to have long and flirty talk about kanji.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6234255
>D) Call out and introduce yourself like a supreme gentleman (Name?)
Raragimaru-kun
Then you need to have long and flirty talk about kanji.

>>6234010
Make it a battle harem with a tsundere chimp, slutty gyaru bonobo, and a shy nerdy pongo. Add a childhood friend too.

>>6234125
(Rolled 14+1=15)
Thoughts race through your head. This could be dangerous. Even if it looks humanoid it’s still an animal.
They might not even speak English, maybe monkey noises are more appropriate. Did you even *gain* a translation skill?
Putting all those concerns aside, you gather your resolve and waltz towards the monkey-girl.
Though, waltz might be a misnomer, perhaps “chad-walk” is more appropriate.
Legs swinging in wide arcs, arms spread wide like you’re carrying barrels under your armpits, the confident gait of a man that doesn’t remember what confidence looks like.
Alpha as fuck.
The girl’s lemur ears perk up. She turns and winces upon seeing you. Her eyes dart to the woods, as if looking for something, or someone.
You have the choice between using your real name and your Steam username, Raragimaru. ‘Eh, best to keep things honest’.
“Sup,” you say. “Name’s Dough Fosaux, it’s french.”
She hugs her bucket and steps away from you. “S-sorry Mr. Itsfrench… I-I’m not supposed to talk to other males...” She mutters.
Well, at least they speak English.
“Huh? Says who?” You don’t bother correcting her misunderstanding just yet.
“The Boss.”
“Well, that Boss guy isn’t here. Just us. So how about you tell me your name?”
Closer now, you notice she's got a few bruises on her skin. Oh, and she's pretty cute.
“I-I…” she keeps her eyes fixed on the bushes. “I’m Remu.” She extends her hand as if waiting for a handshake. Seems you managed a good first impression *somehow*.
“Ah Remu what the fuck is taking so long?” snaps a shrieky male voice.
“Eek!” she retracts her hand and nearly jumps into the river.
Brushing away the foliage, a chimp emerges. Not a human with chimp ears, an actual goddamn chimp. He bares his teeth at you, almost like a smile—though you feel that isn’t the case.
Ah, it’s one oh those dynamics huh? Monster males and humanoid females.
“S-sorry sir.”
He clicks his tongue. “You know what the Boss does to hussies that sneak around with outsider males right?”
An UI screen pops again:
>Chimp Lv. 1
>Class: Troglodyte
He approaches you, arms swinging, eyes narrowed like he’s sizing you up.
>Roll d20 bo3
>A) Try to defuse the situation, how?
>B) Try to intimidate him, how?
>C) Sucker punch!
>D) Holy shit time to run!
>E) Ok, maybe NOW it’s time to look for a weapon
>F) Write-in

Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>6234361
Write-in
>Ok, maybe NOW it’s time to look for a weapon
The Goddess gave Raragimaru-kun the ability to turn female monkeys into weapons. The stronger the bond, the stronger the weapon. Things like knuckles, nunchakuns or other blunt weapons.

>>6234349
>E) Ok, maybe NOW it’s time to look for a weapon
TCD

>>6234364
>Monkey May Cry

>>6234450
I was thinking about Valkyrie Drive desu.

>>6234349
>E) Ok, maybe NOW it’s time to look for a weapon
Speak softly and carry a big stick.

>>6234462
>>6234446
bo3 meant best of three by the way, my bad.
Two rolls left.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>6234468

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>6234468

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>6234468
Let's crush this damned dirty ape!

>>6234349
>E) Ok, maybe NOW it's time to look for a weapon
Just a chimp? I could take the chimp solo, little bitch, monkeys ain't shit

>>6234349
(Rolled 17, int bonus cancels str malus)
Ok, maybe NOW it’s time to look for a weapon. There’s no way a barehanded fight goes in your favor.

The chimp starts circling, probably gauging how difficult it would be to rip you apart — and if you pose any danger at all.
Well, fuck ‘em Chimps. Total Chimp Death. You can take a lone chimp, no problem. Real chimp killa.
Taking a look at the ground you see an assortment of options. Sticks. Stones. All of those could break his bones.
But there’s one that’s a cut above the rest. A stick too big, too thick, too heavy and too rough, it was more like a chunk of a tree. And it has one particularly salient bump
You are already sweating just imagining your limp little NEET arms trying to swing that thing.
Yet, adrenaline is one hell of a drug, so you lunge at it, taking that huge ass log into your… grasp.
Since you didn’t dawdle selecting your tool, there’s little time for him to react.
And so, with arms straining and one big twist of your entire body, the branch hits him square in the head.
He's sent back reeling, eyes wide. The chimp stumbles, and trips over some rocks. He falls on his butt. Blood gushes from his forehead.
Shit, you probably pulled a muscle with that move. But the opening is there, you’ve shown dominance and the initiative is yours…
>Roll d20 best of 3
>A) Grab the girl and run, this is your chance!
>B) Hit him again, just don’t shit your pants
>C) Taunt him, get him to rush into your next swing
>D) Try negotiating from a position of strength (what to say?)
>E) Write-In

>>6234724
>B) Hit him again, just don’t shit your pants

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>6234724
Well I guess murder would count as defeating him
Since he's on the ground with a concussion, we could probably just start beating him with our hands if Gut's stick is too large for us to wield
All I know is never turn your back on an enemy
> Hit him again

>>6234745
>B) Hit him again, just don’t shit your pants
Can you put the roll at the end of the post in black letters. My brain can't register it the way it is now.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6234724
>A) Grab the girl and run, this is your chance!

>>6234760
Why I can't just roll?

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>6234767

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>6234724
>B) Hit him again, just don’t shit your pants
Don't let him recover. Total chimp death.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>6234724
>B) Hit him again, just don’t shit your pants
TOTAL CHIMP DEATH! I'm >>6234177, by the way, if my IP's changed.

I'm ready for the
"By the way, my last name isn't 'Itsfrench', I was just saying that it is French"
"Oh, sorry, Mr. French"
"No need to apologize, but it's Fosaux"
"Alright, your name is Mr. French, for sure!"

>>6234724
(Rolled 18-1)
“Total Chimp Death” you mutter, voice straining with effort as you heave the log up—then drop it.
The bonk makes him drop, bending awkwardly with his head between his legs.
The posture is reminiscent of a Yoga pose, except he’s probably just limp from brain damage and loss of consciousness.
Too tired to keep using the massive log, you lean on top of the downed foe and try punching him a few times. But that hurts like hell, there’s probably a technique to it.
Thinking of other ways to finish this, the ideas comes quite naturally. “Eureka!” you exclaim.
You start stomping on him like you’re reenacting your favorite scene from American History X.
The defenseless chimp twitches a few times. The thuds give way to crunching sounds. Wet splashes start messing your clothes.
Shoes covered in blood, you take a step back to admire your work. Holy fuck, you may be a sociopath.
>Unarmed Combat +2 XP [2/5]
>Stickmanship +2 XP [2/5]
>Common enemy defeated! +1 XP [1/5]
>Achievement: First Blood +2 XP [3/5]
>Achievement: Gory Gory What a Hell of Way to Die +2 XP [5/5]
>Level UP! +1 Stat Point
“That’s useful, I guess,” you mutter. “Ah, wait, the girl.”
You glance back at her. She’s crouching hugging that bucket like her life depended on it.
For a second, you think you see something like relief in her expression as she stares at the dead ape.
Then, once her eyes flick back to you, it turns into dread. Utter fear. She’s on the verge of crying.
“P-please, please don’t hurt me!”, she begged between sobs.
Goddamnit. Cute girls crying always hurts.

>Roll d20 best of three
>Choose a stat between Might, Agility, Endurance and Intellect to spend your Stat Point
>A) Put your hands up and reassure her you won’t hurt her.
>B) Say you’re only after evil apes. Ask if she can lead you to her Boss – might be one of your targets.
>C) Give her a couple of slaps, that’s what dad did to mom when she was freaking out.
>D) Eh, whatever. Check if the Chimp has anything useful.
>E) Write-In

>>6234828
I'm legally obligated to include this if you manage to calm her down.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>6234844
>MIGHT
Men choose STR

>B) Say you’re only after evil apes. Ask if she can lead you to her Boss – might be one of your targets.
We're ready

>>6234821
Imposter!

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>6234844
That chimp was totally evil and irredeemable, and we definitely did not just kill him in cold blood because we hate chimps, and also God(ess) told us to do it or something
>Put your hands up and reassure her you won't hurt her
and might so we can pick up Gut's stick without being a little bitch about it

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>6234844
Up our Intellect. There's a reason why homo sapiens dominate the Earth and not these other inferior primates.
>A) Put your hands up and reassure her you won’t hurt her.

>>6234850
Wait, shit, you're correct, I'm actually >>6234230 and got off of a nine hour shift. My apologies anon-sama.

>>6234844
TOTAL HUMAN VICTORY!
>A) Put your hands up and reassure her you won’t hurt her.
We don't want to push the poor lady too far, too fast. As for stats...
>Might
We need it to properly wield this club. Once this is over we should thank the goddess for giving us an easy route for stat improvements.

>>6234844
>Choose a stat between Might, Agility, Endurance and Intellect to spend your Stat Point
Intellect.
>D) Eh, whatever. Check if the Chimp has anything useful.

>>6234844
>Might

>A) Put your hands up and reassure her you won’t hurt her.

>>6234844
>Might Increased! -1 --> 0
The popup with your stats disappears. You feel a surge of strength. With firmer muscles and loss of flab, you’re feeling completely… average.
Now, back to more important matters.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” you speak softly, hands already empty and raised at about eye level.
“You’re all covered in bruises, he issued threats, then he kept circling around me. He was dangerous. Kill or be killed — it’s the law of the jungle.”
Yes. These words are as much for her as they are for yourself, a reassurance that *this* was the right thing to do. He was irredeemably evil. There was no other way to solve this.
Plus, the mission you received from the goddess is to kill evil Apes. If you can’t make peace with that, you’re doomed.
She clears away the budding tears and stops trembling as much. It seems that this attempt was successful enough.
“Sorry…” she muttered. “You’re weird. Usually males just kill each other and take the loser’s things.” The feeling that ‘things’ in that sentence refers to women annoys your modern sensibilities, even if you’re the kind of guy to call women foids when nobody is looking.
Remu puts her bucket facing down and takes a seat on it. “How am I explaining this,” she says staring straight at the dead Chimp. The gory aftermath doesn’t seem to faze her, now that the immediate fear of being has passed.
“Hey,” you interject, crouching down next to her. “Just so you know, my last name isn’t Itsfrench. I was just saying *it is* French.”
She raises an eyebrow at your strange choice of conversation topics in this given context. “My bad Mr. French.”
“It’s okay, but it’s Fosaux.”
“I…” her fluffy ears twitch. “Alright, it’s French for sure.”
You rub your temples and heave a sigh so deep it could well be described as ‘theatrical’.
“No. My name is Dough Fosaux. Period.”
She opens her mouth to say something but you raise your hand, stopping another misunderstanding from ruining the moment. “Please just call me Dough.”
That gets a chuckle out of her.


>1/2

>>6235048
“Alright Dough. So what’s next?”
“What do you mean?”
“You took down my escort, so you’re taking me into your troop, right? So what’s next Boss Dough?”
“I mean…”
Before you can reply, another pop-up launches itself into your view. This one reads
>Remu-Chan Lv. 1
>Class: Thief Lv. 1, Hussie [1/5]
Interesting. Seems like she’s partway to level 2. But what the fuck is that class name? Then again, yours is shitposter so who are you to judge.
>Party Request Received, Accept (Y/N)?
On the one hand, she can help carry this log. On another, she probably won’t be super useful in a fight straight away. Maybe you can train with her? Grind?
Or maybe she’s just dead weight.
>A) Here’s where we part ways, good luck Remu-Chan. Sayonara! Arrivederci! Auf Wiedersehen!
>B) First give me more details about your old troop, and that Boss of yours. Is it a Gorilla?
>C) Let’s head to your village or whatever. Straight away.
>D) Let’s find a place to rest for now.
>E) You’re weak, maybe we can kill some random forest critters for XP?
>F) Pay respects to the Chimp
>G) Write-In

>>6235049
Hussy* jeez.

>>6235048
absolute cinema

>>6235049
>F) Pay respects to the Chimp
looks like girlie's on her way to leveling up the whore class
it would also be extremely funny to say good bye

>>6235049
>B) First give me more details about your old troop, and that Boss of yours. Is it a Gorilla?
Knowing is half the battle, and we've already mastered the other half.

>>6235049
>B) First give me more details about your old troop, and that Boss of yours. Is it a Gorilla?

>>6235049
>Y
We could use a thief.

>B) First give me more details about your old troop, and that Boss of yours. Is it a Gorilla?
Number #1 out of 100. We can and will crush every damned dirty ape in this world.

>>6235175
>>6235127
>>6235209
Yo, can you clarify if Y/N to party request (or postpone to next post)

>>6235227
I figured that was what A) was for. My mistake.
Y.

>>6235049
Y
Apes strong together.
>B) First give me more details about your old troop, and that Boss of yours. Is it a Gorilla?
>Write-in tell me about the area what's the biggest predator/poisonous creatures/ what kind of weapons do you guys use. Types of food.

>>6235295
Nah my bad, I screwed up how I presented the choices.

>>6235227
Y
we killed a chimp for this Hussy we arnt letting her go with a swat on the ass just for her to go rat us out to her gorilla boss

>>6235049
>Y
Why not

>B
KILL

>>6235049
“Sure, I’ll take you with me.”

You click the Yes button to confirm that she’s now part of your party. One of her eyebrows rises at that. She probably can’t see the system windows.

“First of all, give me more details about your old troop, and that Boss of yours.” She grimaces the instant the boss is mentioned. “Is it – is he a Gorilla?”

Remu gulped. Then she started rocking back and forth anxiously. “So, the Boss. He’s a young Gorilla, wasn’t from our troop originally. Just showed up one day after our old boss died, started taking care of things for us. It was alright at first.”
She gets up from her bucket and walks towards the river shore.

“I was young back then. I remember some of the males started disappearing – the ones that he didn’t like, those likely to complain or dispute his command,” there’s a pause in her speech. She stares absently at the water, like she was relieving it all.

“He started whoring out the girls to those who obeyed. Let the most violent do everything they wanted to us. It was a reward for their loyalty. But he still had them disarmed. Starting with the least trustworthy but going all the way to his second in command eventually.”

Sounds like a classic despot. You’re ready to interject quoting some Sam Hyde skit about Hitler, but the logical part of your brain overrides the social retardation. Instead, you ask a serious question. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it was to make sure nobody could fight back. In a contest of *might*, he’d win even if the whole troop fought him. But with actual weapons?” she points to the abnormally large stick you used to beat the chimp to death. “It’d level the playing field. We’d stand a chance…. Maybe”

You’re certain she was pointing to the stick just to make a point and isn’t referring to actual sticks. “Right, so all of you being disarmed didn’t cause any other problems?”

She shrugs. “Well, more males started dying from the local fauna. The giant bugs aren’t that dangerous, unless you get swarmed. The wolves though? They’re vicious.” You’re thankful you didn’t run into any of that while trekking around here.

“Other than that, our village is very isolated, so he probably didn’t worry much about being attacked by other troops,” she says with a lopsided smile. It was almost as if she wished they had been attacked.

1/2

>>6235382
“Ok, I get it. And where are all the weapons? What kinds of weapons are we talking about?”

“Hidden inside the Boss’s hut. Mostly spears, bows, I think two swords, oh and the flamethrower.”

“I’m sorry the what?”

“You know, it’s like a metal stick with some weird squiggly drawings. Only the old boss knew how to use it right, but from what I was told, it threw flames – so, flamethrower.”

“Like a wizard’s staff?”

She shrugs again. Ok, she’s a bumpkin, no matter. “Fine. And what’s his name anyway? The Boss'”, you kneel next to her, sipping some of that pristine river water.

“It’s Pimp,” she replies. You choke on the water. It bursts out of your nostrils and mouth as you try to cough it out.

>GORILLA DISCOVERED: Pimp the Regular Gorilla, Ranked #100

So, TL; DR Pimp the Gorilla took over her village and started pimping the girls out. Amazing.

“Ok. Thanks for the infodump.” You stand back up and look back at the chimp corpse. A part of you wants to bury him, pay your respects, but hearing what they did to the monkey girls makes you bury that idea instead.

Next plan of action:
>Pick one or more & Roll d20 (best of three)
>A) Let’s scout the village from afar, maybe we can come up with a plan to raid his hut for those weapons.
>B) If he can fight a whole troop on his it’d be better if we level up a bit more first. Maybe we can find some bugs or wolves to fight?
>C) Just head there straight away, challenge the Gorilla to a duel. Certainly a brilliant plan.
>D) Ask if she got pimped out too.
>E) Hey, maybe first let’s prepare some of that chimp meat, you’re starting to get hungry and you’re in no mood to forage.
>F) Write-in

(Trying to clear up the formatting a little, is this better?)

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>6235383
>D) Ask if she got pimped out too.
>A) Let’s scout the village from afar, maybe we can come up with a plan to raid his hut for those weapons.
Formatting looks good to me.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>6235383
>Hey, maybe first let's prepare some of that chimp meat, you're starting to get hungry and you're in no mood to forage.
>B) If he can fight a whole troop on his it'd be better if we level up a bit more first. Maybe we can find some bugs or wolves to fight?
Channel our inner Batman.

>>6235391
This one time, consider d20 best of three as usual, but for future rolls:
1 and no dice at or above 10 = crit fail
20 and no dice below 10 = crit success
Does that sound fair?

>>6235383
>Write-in
>Ask for a Location of a cave or a defensive location to set up in to plan our attack.
>We'll have to plan, aquire stats, and poison to bring down gorilla pimp.

>>6235383
>A
Level up by whittling down his forces, 2 birds 1 stone.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>6235383
>A) Let’s scout the village from afar, maybe we can come up with a plan to raid his hut for those weapons.
>B) If he can fight a whole troop on his it’d be better if we level up a bit more first. Maybe we can find some bugs or wolves to fight?
>>6235408
interesting idea, sure

>>6235461
>5 is the best we got
Damn…

>>6235383
(Rolled 5+1 for Int)
You ponder whether to ask about her v-card and whether she got pimped out or not, but you decide that is not exactly a topic for a first date. Not that this is a date.

“And if it were, you’d probably get an achievement for that,” said the stalker goddess in your head. There's no way you'll ever get used to that.

Still, something to consider when trying to grind XP, those achievements were the sole reason you gained a level so quickly.

Adjusting your non-existent glasses, smug grin on your face, you say “Let’s scout the village from afar. Perhaps we can devise a plan to raid his hut for those weapons, Remu-chan.”

“A-alright, if you say so Boss Dough.” The two of you grab the oversized stick and carry it on your way to her village. She carries her bucket on her other hand.

She says it’s not particularly far, and now that you’ve grown stronger, the burden of moving this thing around shouldn’t be so tiresome.

The walk there is uneventful, just trees, mosquitoes about the size of a head, a couple of green cockroaches straight out of Fallout just skittering about.

The critters steer clear of you, and you don’t bother them. Though you make a mental note to light a fire before going to bed should you ever sleep in the woods. You don’t want to get overrun by giant insects.

After a couple of minutes traversing the forest, Remu announces “We’re almost there, nobody should be patrolling around here now.” There’s a tinge of trepidation to her voice.

“Don’t worry, everything is going according to keikaku.” Instinctively, you pat her head. She doesn’t seem to hate it; her ears even perk up a little bit. Probably better than how she’s used to being treated.

As if on cue, you hear howling. Not distant but coming from right behind the two of you. Great, wolves. You turn to face your ambusher.

Ambushers plural. More wolves appear from the flanks. A pack of four trying to surround you, leisurely forming a circle to block you and Remu-chan from escaping.

>Wolf, Level 1 (4)
“Thanks system, I can tell,” you snap at the translucent window.

(1/2)

>>6235506
The wolves seem hesitant to make their first move just yet. Probably unfamiliar with humans. You stand back to back with Remu, holding up up the meaty stick, while she swings her bucket at them.

They don’t seem eager to engage, perhaps hoping you’ll turn your back and become easy prey. Well, it gives you time to think.

A tense minute passes, and to make matters worse – or perhaps better – a pair of burly chimps approaches from the other direction. They’re likely coming from the village to investigate the commotion.

“Hey, it’s Remu, and some ugly naked ape! Where the hell is Grumbo?” one of them shouts. Ah, so that was his name huh? Cool. Well, you're fucked now.

>Chimp, Level 1; Chimp, Level 2

Interesting. One of them is a bit stronger. Now, how do you un-fuck this?

>Roll d20 best of three, Pick one or more options
>A) Drop the stick, try running towards the village, let these two dunces deal with this.
>B) Try to convince the two chimps to help you, lie that you tried to save Grumbo but the wolves got him.
>C) Try taunting the chimps about how weak they are, that they can’t even kill some puppies. Hey, you’re a shitposter class, might as well.
>D) Just fight, you can take all of them, you’re a big strong man who don’t need no diplomacy.
>E) Screw this place, it’s more dangerous than you thought. Grab Remu, and run the *other* way, maybe it’s time to find some shelter and train after all.
>F) Write-in

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>6235507
>B) Try to convince the two chimps to help you, lie that you tried to save Grumbo but the wolves got him.

>>6235507
>C
We may be a naked ape, but we aren't ugly!
Or so we tell ourselves :(

>>6235507
F) Try to circle the chimps and keep their attention on us, leaving them open for the wolves' attack.
We should try to work with the wolves. They're the ancestors to man's best friends, it's only natural that we form an alliance.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>6235537
Forgot dice.

>>6235507
>>B) Try to convince the two chimps to help you, lie that you tried to save Grumbo but the wolves got him.
Enemy of my enemy

I'm assuming that the chimps aren't going to steal the XP from the wolves, so better if they sort that problem out for us and then we can finish off the wounded chimps (either during or after)

Also, we should also ask Remu if there are any male primates in the village that don't deserve death (since it sounds like a Boss can have both males and females).

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>6235507

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>6235507
>B) Try to convince the two chimps to help you, lie that you tried to save Grumbo but the wolves got him.
These are dumb chimps, we're a human genius! Attrition through deception is one of the strongest weapons in our arsenal. Let us wield it well...

>>6235507
>C) Try taunting the chimps about how weak they are, that they can’t even kill some puppies. Hey, you’re a shitposter class, might as well.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>6235507
>C) Try taunting the chimps about how weak they are, that they can’t even kill some puppies. Hey, you’re a shitposter class, might as well.

>>6235507
Nothing like a life-or-death situation to get the old noggin’ joggin’. The issue: six enemies. The tools at hand: a thieving lemur-girl, a big stick, and your sharp tongue.
When it comes to online shitposting you definitely know how to rile people up – but who says you can’t apply those skills in real life?
And these are chimps to begin with, they can’t be *that* much smarter than the average anon. Probably about equal.
“Hey, you two pussies stay outta my way, losers like you can’t even handle these puppies. Gonna die like Gumball or whatever his name was, right?” you snap, sneering at the duo.
They shift uncomfortably. The two look at each other, puzzled and angry, as if each Chimp holds a single neuron and the synapse between the two will decide their course of action.
“Your Boss is gonna love hearing about this, he’ll probably snip your balls off and have you two join the rest of the whores!”, a wolf rushes at you, deciding that you’re sufficiently distracted.
Lucky for you, Remu is pretty fast. Makes sense for a thief. She panics and swings her bucket, staggering the wolf. It does no damage, but buys you enough time to impale his soft belly with the point end of your stickm
You manage to score a kill, and that coupled with your words has driven the chimps to act. They each rush a single wolf, trying to at least even the score.
Meanwhile, you and Remu have one last wolf to worry about. This one seems about the same as the rest, except your stick seems to be stuck inside the corpse of your previous foe.
Oopsie.
Thankfully, as the wolf leaps at you, the thief girl catches him with the bucket. His snout smashes against the hard wood. “Wow, good reflexes.”
Holding the corpse down with a foot, you pull out the oversized weapon spilling the beast’s innards all over the floor. Remu looks like she’s about to retch.
“Hold it in, babe,” you say. You bonk the wolf once, twice, thrice.
Seems like it’s a bit easier to wield this thing now that your Might stat has gone up, but you’re still winded.
The wolf whimpers and eventually stops moving. Remu gives it one last kick to make sure. Good girl.
>Stickmanship +2 XP [4/5]
>Common enemy defeated! (2) +2 XP [2/7]
>Ally Level UP! Remu-Chan, Level 2 (Hussy 1, Thief 1)

>>6236067
Wow. Killing a wolf increased her whore level. That’s fucking awful game design.
Now, time to check on those impromptu allies. You glance back, bead of sweat rolling down your forehead.
One chimp is down. Seems he killed his enemy, but got his throat gored in the process.
The other one? The level two chimp? He’s still beating the crap outta the most-certainly-dead wolf. He looks fine, a couple scratches maybe.
Good thing he’s still distracted.
Seems like your next course of action is to…
>Roll d20 best of three, pick one or more choices:
>A) Try a surprise assault! Bonk this guy, he’s the same level as you and Remu so it should be fine.
>B) Whisper to Remu, have her sneak up and place the bucket on his head while you distract him, to make killing him easier
>C) Try to convince him to vouch for you, maybe you can pretend to join the Boss so it’s easier to formulate a plan from within the village
>D) Escape while he’s busy!
>E) Congratulate Remu,
>F) Write-In

>>6236067
>pointy end of your stick.*
That's what I get for phoneposting.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>6236068
>>A) Try a surprise assault! Bonk this guy, he’s the same level as you and Remu so it should be fine.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>6236068
>C) Try to convince him to vouch for you, maybe you can pretend to join the Boss so it’s easier to formulate a plan from within the village
>E) Congratulate Remu,

>>6236068
>F) Write-In
Whisper to Remu, "Hey is that one alright or an asshole. Depends if I stab him or not."
If yes, stab after the two wear each other out and take both kills. If not, then help kill the wolf and use him as an inside man to understand the village, promising various things to pull him under your sway.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>6236068
>>6236096
Also this and roll
>E) Congratulate Remu,

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>6236068
>A
KILL

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>6236068
>A) Try a surprise assault! Bonk this guy, he’s the same level as you and Remu so it should be fine.
When we said Total Chimp Death, we were serious! I don't think my IP'll have changed by now, but I might be wrong.

>>6236068
>>6236096
>>6236097
+1 to this

>>6236068
>D) Escape while he’s busy!

>>6236096
>>6236097
+1 to this. Total (evil) chimp death.

>>6236068
>E) Congratulate Remu
And since we're talking with her, combine it with this write in as other anon's have stated.
>>6236096

>>6236096
add my voice to this
even if we are set on killing a "Gorilla named slickback"
it be easier with some meat shields we dont want to eventually stick our dick in to take his gorilla pimp slap for us while we kill his ass

>>6236068
(Rolled 17+1)
You lean closer to Remu while you watch the Chimp go to town on that wolf. He’s not lacking in violent enthusiasm at least.
“Hey, good job,” you say patting her head and whispering in her ear. “So is he an alright guy or just an asshole? Checking if I should stab him.”
Her face is flushed from either the sudden proximity or the compliment; perhaps both.
She whispers back “Jerb isn’t a good guy, but he isn’t the worst either. He’s definitely the stupidest though.”
Stupid is good. Stupid is something you can definitely work with.
You approach to help him finish the wolf – not that it seems necessary – but you halt once his gaze meets yours.
Jerb’s eyes are narrow, teeth flaring, like he’s ready to redirect his hostility should you intervene.
This is his kill. Fair enough, you get it. If you're trying to convince him, it pays to empathize and let him have his moment
He takes his sweet time on the wolf, but when he’s done, the burly chimp just sits there. Menacingly.
“Alright, who you with?”
You shrug. “Nobody. So, you’re Jerb right?”
He tenses. “How did you know that?”
“I’m a mind reader.” You say in a jocose tone. His eyes widen at that. No fucking way, he took it at face value. That’s actually borderline retarded.
“You’re thinking there’s no way I’m a mind reader,” it’s a risk but you think it would be hilarious if—
“H-HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?” he repeats, snapping at you. Dear goddess. This is golden.
“Told you didn’t I?” you grin and touch your hand to your head, pretending to be professor Xavier activating your made-up powers.

>>6236544
“Your strength surprised me. You know, even one with a mind so powerful such as I could still use a bodyguard. Maybe we can make an arrangement.”
He is visibly frightened, and replies cautiously “What do you mean?”
“You vouch for me and fight for me. In return, I’ll make your wildest dreams come true.”
You can spot it in his eyes, that shine as they wander, taking his mind into some – probably idiotic – daydream.
“Yes, even that” you add. You have no idea what you just promised, but he extends his hand. Seems that was all it took to convince him.
“I’m in, Magic Boss.”
After shaking hands, a new window displays:
>Jerb Lv. 2
>Class: Troglodyte Lv 2 [1/7]
>Perk: Brain-damaged (Immune to psychic attacks)
Well, that explains a lot.
You’re almost at the village, so you decide to:
>Roll d20 best of three, pick one or more options!
>A) Head for the village right away, go in openly and get Remu and Jerb to vouch for you.
>B) Scout around the village get a layout of the place.
>C) Actually, let’s take the time to rest, you can feel the fatigue creeping in; if it turns into a fight you want to be ready
>D) Mess with the status windows for a bit, you wonder if there’s anything interesting you can find. (Write-in if you want to find something specific)
>E) Ask for specifics regarding number of chimps, females, etc
>F) Write-in

>>6236547
>Perk: Brain-damaged (Immune to psychic attacks)
>psychic attacks
Ah, Christ, does fucking Gorilla Grodd exist somewhere in this dimension.
>E) Ask for specifics regarding number of chimps, females, etc
How many chimp bodyguards does your boss have around him at all time? What's his daily schedule? Where's his house? Where do you keep the flammable objects that may or may not be useful in setting fire to said house while the boss is still inside?

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>6236547
>C) Actually, let’s take the time to rest, you can feel the fatigue creeping in; if it turns into a fight you want to be ready
>E) Ask for specifics regarding number of chimps, females, etc

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>6236547
>C) Actually, let’s take the time to rest, you can feel the fatigue creeping in; if it turns into a fight you want to be ready
>E) Ask for specifics regarding number of chimps, females, etc
If dumb monkey asks we can turn our ability off and on it make it too easy otherwise.
If we have any time left over I wanna check out the status window
For sub quests, skill points for raw stats or for putting into skills/powers, map function, notes tab,

>>6236547
>>D) Mess with the status windows for a bit, you wonder if there’s anything interesting you can find. (Write-in if you want to find something specific)
Something like character description in a dnd-like alignment,with Fear, Ideal, Dream, Relationship would be golden

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>6236547
Jerb's about to fuckin carry, debuff immunities are rare, can't believe they buffed the brain-damaged perk this patch
>Rest

>>6236547
>E
Assess the enemy!

>>6236547
>E) Ask for specifics regarding number of chimps, females, etc
We need to find out from Remu which chimps need to be eliminated, and find out from Jerb which chimps he can convince to join us. QM can just feed that into the narrative without us having to ask each time.

Although fiddling with the menu system to see what skill trees look like for our minions could be good in the future (do they have sub-quests we can unlock? If we can find details via the menu then we really will look like a mind-reader). Don't mind if we save this for another vote though

I know anons are chanting TCD but we only make quest progress by killing gorillas (pretty sure, since QM posted:
>>6235383
>GORILLA DISCOVERED: Pimp the Regular Gorilla, Ranked #100

>>6236547
“Alright, now I’m going to turn off my power, Jerb.” He cocks his head to the side, furry hands rubbing his chin. “It gets really annoying hearing everything people yap about in their minds – plus we can’t have everything be *too* easy, right?”
He nods along, but you’re not sure he really gets it. Whatever. There’s a bunch of fallen trees nearby, one of them looks perfect to serve as a bench. It would be nice to sit down for a while and get more information out of these two.
“So, Jerb, how many chimps are there in your village?” He actually starts counting on his fingers, gets lost, and starts counting again from the beginning.
“Okay nevermind that then,” you say with a sigh of disappointment. That status window was no lie. The lemur girl’s ears perk up again when your gaze meets hers.
“Remu, how many chimps are there in your village? Rather, how many males are there. What are their jobs, bodyguards, hunters, whatever it is I want to know.”
She starts gleefully recounting everything. Each time something intriguing comes up, more questions pop up.
Discounting the dead ones, there are 11 Male chimps, of which most double as hunters or “wardens” for the women. The Boss doesn’t have any bodyguards with him, nor does he have any trusted advisors. Seems like a distrustful fellow.
There are 21 Female chimps. When questioned about the lack of “diversity”, Remu noted that her situation was unique, since she had been adopted into the troop by the previous chief.
About the boss. Unlike the weapons he confiscated which were mostly spears or a couple swords, his weapon of choice is a warclub. He’s notoriously strong – but that you already knew. He’s also fond of mating, so if he isn’t inspecting the village he’ll be off in some female’s hut doing the deed.
Ok, that you *didn’t* need to know. Or perhaps, it could be to your advantage. At the end of the interrogation session, you feel like it’s resulted in a fairly accurate summary of their situation.
She then details the village layout. There are about 14 huts, including the Boss’, and they’re all divided by sex. Boss Pimp uses the largest Hutt, which stands at the center of the village, next to a large boulder.
They don’t have any palisades or anything, and all the huts are arranged around the central one, in a roughly circular pattern. You’re lucky enough that she even recalls the patrol patterns for the chimps, so she guarantees you she could sneak around the village and perhaps even take one of you with her.
(1/2)

>>6237252
You watch Jerb eat parts of a wolf, raw, completely oblivious to the important conversation right next to him. One more question then, “Are there any chimps that can be convinced to assist me?”
She paces while thinking. “I don’t think so. Probably only after you beat the Boss, but you’ve surprised me before, Dough,” she says with a smile. “Most of the females are useless in a fight too. Though maybe No-No…”
“No-No?”
“No-No, yeah. She says ‘No’ a lot while she’s *working*.” You have a feeling if she knew what air quotes were, she’d do them right now.
“What does she do exactly? Ah. Nevermind.”
“Yeah. She’s the Boss’s favorite chimp, and he does her. A lot. She absolutely hates it, hates him. You could get her to help you,”
> Quest received: To Pimp a Butterfly
Remu looks down at the log you’re sitting on.
“Ah, Boss, can I sit with you?” You nod, and she promptly plops down beside you.
One last thing before the party heads out. Those status windows sure carry a lot of information. Maybe you can at least get some more information out of it.
You fiddle with it for a bit, while Remu watches amused and Jerb eyes you cautiously. They can’t see the system windows, so they probably think you’re either insane, magical, or both.
After a minute searching, there are a couple of interesting findings:
>[Quests]
> Defeat 100 Evil Gorillas and Save the World (Mission)
> Defeat Pimp the Regular Gorilla (Quest)
> To Pimp a Butterfly (Side-Quest)
Ok, pretty standard stuff.
>[Party Status]
This one just rehashes info you had already gotten previously, but a particular sub-menu catches your eye.
>Remu, Affection Rating C
>Likes: Headpats, [UNKNOWN], [UNKNOWN],
>Dislikes: Boss Pimp, [UNKNOWN]
>Jerb, Affection Rating F
>Likes: Raw Meat, [UNKNOWN], [UNKNOWN]
>Dislikes: Being called stupid, [UNKNOWN]
How about your own status?
>Class: Shitposter (Lv.2) [2/7]
>Might: 0
>Agility: -1
>Endurance: -1
>Intellect: +1
>Health: [HIDDEN STAT]
>Mana: [HIDDEN STAT]
>Status: [HIDDEN STAT]
>Skills: Videogames +1, Shitposting +2, Scouting [4/5], Unarmed Combat [2/5], Stickmanship [4/5]
>Abilities: None.
Interesting. So there really is magic in this world. Well, you already know of the flame staff, but it’s nice to have it confirmed. It also seems like it’s possible to unlock abilities, though there isn’t a clear mechanism to do so yet.
“Hey Goddess, you there?”, you mutter.
Nothing. Guess she doesn’t want to spoil things too much.
(2/3)

>>6237256
Time to…
>Roll d20, best of three
>A) Go into the village and have these two vouch for you. It’s easier to plan a coup out in the open.
>B) Have Remu secretly meet with No-No, get her on your side, maybe have her sneak out so the group can come up with a plan. Either a lure, or say, poison?
>C) Try staking out the village. If you spot the boss heading to one of the huts to shag, maybe you can sneak into his hut and get the locked weapons.
>D) Remu said if anyone can do it, it's you, so try to convince some chimps anyway (Plan?)
>E) Do anything else in the woods first? (Rest, Eat dead wolves, Kill critters, Bash your head against a tree?)
>F) Write-in

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>6237258
>>B) Have Remu secretly meet with No-No, get her on your side, maybe have her sneak out so the group can come up with a plan. Either a lure, or say, poison?
Sidequest!
Meanwhile, we...
>E) Do anything else in the woods first? (Rest, Eat dead wolves, Kill critters, Bash your head against a tree?)
Found some liana, like common Ivy. Find some rock (we're in a river, should be easy. Bash rock into Axe Blade, craft an Axe

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>6237263
Wrong dice size.

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>6237263
>>6237263
I'm >>6236128 and agree with both of anon's suggestions. Plan Bust Pimp's Head is all coming together. Do you guys think we should go for Strength, Agility, and Endurance, or get them up to average and focus on Intelligence? I'm not sure we'll ever outmuscle a gorilla but if we're cunning, we can outsmart them.

>>6237258
>E) Do anything else in the woods first?
Try to scavenge the biggest of the wolves fangs from the corpses Jerb hasn’t claimed, maybe the claws too if we can manage; we lack proper crafting skills, but surely those at least can be useful.

Then, we should probably kill something easy to get that last point in Stickmanship so we can better hold our own in a fight - that’s gonna be important no matter what approach we take later on. In a perfect world, finding something to kill will also get us that last point of Scouting XP which will improve our efforts to gather intel.

Other than that, I support the plan to scrounge up some useful materials and try our hands at whipping up a tool >>6237263

>>6237258
>>6237291
Oh, and see if the dead Chimp maybe had anything useful, though I doubt it.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>6237258
>B
mmm, poison

>>6237263
+1

>>6237263
+1 Support

>>6237263
+1.

>>6237258
(Rolled 14+1)
“Remu, can you go meet up with that No-No lady you mentioned? I think it would be useful to get her on our side.” She nods enthusiastically.
It’s not that you don’t trust her, but she seems too eager to please. “Hey, take your time, don’t need to rush things sneaking in, ok? I’ll be here crafting myself a new weapon,” you add quickly, before she saunters off to her mission.
The stick has been useful so far, but such an unwieldy and crude weapon won’t be of much use against Pimp. Sure, surprise attacks with weight behind them did the trick against low-level chimps. But the Boss? He’s bigger, stronger. Probably tougher to boot.
You need something that can cause damage without hampering your speed. Perhaps something with an edge to it. A spear could work; the range is a plus. Yet, if his hide is resilient enough, you’ll be fighting a battle of attrition.
Trying to bleed him out and hoping no one intervenes. Yeah, no way. Maybe something with an edge and with enough concussive force to shatter bone or daze with a blow to the head. Right, an axe. That could do the trick.
You grin and get to work. “Ah, Jerb, in the meantime, can you gather those wolves’ teeth? They might be of use later.” He grunts something and gets to work. Probably a simple enough command that he can follow through without hiccups.
Then, you get to work building your axe. Vines first. That’s easy, it’s as easy as looking around. Doesn’t take any expertise, really. Sure, some of it may not be the best material, but it only needs to last one fight, and you can always test your materials before using them.
(1/3)

>>6237915
Next, a sturdy branch with the right shape. It takes a little more work to find the right one, but this is a forest so of course you do. More than one, even.
You clean it of any knots or imperfections and throw it into the growing pile of resources – which you now notice has tons of wolf teeth. “Good going, Jerb.” You tell him to guard the spot in case Remu comes back with No-No.
Alone, the stroll around the forest takes a bit longer than with Remu, but soon enough you find the river again. The spot where you killed… what was his name again? Gymbro? Whatever.
>Scouting UP! 0 -> +1 [0/7]
Just as you remembered. The shore has plenty of jagged rocks. You leisurely stroll around, looking for the right fit for your new weapon. It takes a while to properly shape the rocks into something that resembles an axe blade.
The result is impressive, well, as far as sharp rocks go; it could most certainly put the hurt on whoever you hit with it. You’re not sure why you remember these are sedimentary rocks, geology was never your thing. Cool factoid though.
It’s getting pretty late. All this fighting, walking and talking is really making you really tired. And it’s getting cold out here too. It’s making you shiver a bit.
Back at the resource pile, Jerb is pacing around sharpening his teeth on what you’re pretty sure is his dead companions’s femur. Oh right, that chimp.
“Hey, did your buddy have anything useful on him?”
He shakes his head and sucks the marrow out of the bone. Maybe you’re not the most fucked in the head around these parts.
Refocusing on the task at hand: Axe-making. It’s hard, takes a lot of trial and error, and it leaves your hands with a significant number of scrapes and splinters. Damn, should’ve paid more attention when dad tried to teach you how to work with your hands.
>Crafting +2 XP [2/5]
The result is magnificent. “Behold!” you say, lifting the axe above your head. Jerb claps like an idiot. It’s nice to have people who appreciate your genius.
He comes to you and offers a bundle of fur that smells of piss. “Here Boss, you can wear these.” It’s a wolf pelt, he must’ve skinned them while you were busy. Still, why piss on it? Surely he’s misunderstanding something.
“Uh. Thanks?” Better than no armor, maybe.
(2/3)

>>6237917
---
You awaken startled. It’s admittedly disgusting, but you opted to huddle with Jerb under the wolf pelt while waiting for Remu to come back. It was too risky to light a fire.
It’s not like the village is far enough away that nobody would notice smoke coming out of the woods. Plus, they must be on the lookout with multiple villagers missing. Then again, from what Remu said, such things have become more common place under their current leadership.
It wasn’t the best sleep in your life, but it did the trick. You get up pace around for a while, shaking your axe. “Shit, it’s taking her a while huh?”
Almost as if on cue, you hear footsteps. Light. More than one set. First comes Remu. When your eyes meet, she smiles proudly. “I did it boss.”
Right after her comes an older lady. Same as her, human with animal characteristics – in her case, chimp ears and furry patches around her body. This really is some shitty Isekai character design huh?
You examine the newcomer. “No-No, right?” She nods. The female chimp is much older than Remu. She has sagging tits, bags under her eyes, and a massive, decidedly humongous ass. So that’s the Boss’ type.
“Little Remu told me about you. Said you killed two of *his* men,” you can almost taste the venom as she speaks. “If you need me, I’ll help you. Whatever it is, if it gives me a chance to see his lifeless eyes? I will do it.” Such a certainty of purpose, this lady sure has seen some shit.
Didn’t even take any convincing. Or maybe Remu did all the hardwork, might be good to ask her later.
Remu walks up to you. She grins. “So, I took a while like you said. It was better that way, there were a lot of patrols until right before nightfall.”
The girl hands you a small, rugged sack filled with leaves “But it gave me plenty of time! So I got you these. They can be used to treat cuts and burns! Oh, they’re also really bad for your tummy, so don’t eat them.”
How considerate. You look at your gathered allies.
“Alright, here’s the plan…”
>Roll d20 best of three, pick one or more
>A) We’ll all go into No-No’s tent now and hide – at night it’ll be much easier to do so. She lures the Boss into her tent, and we’ll just sneak attack him. Provided we can hide within her tent somehow.
>B) No-No will lure the Boss while we try to sneak into his hut. We might gather more weapons for us to fight him, or we can arm the chimps. Perhaps then we can incite them to rebel.
>C) No-No will lure the boss outside the village. Then we can ambush him here, perhaps we can build some traps, like a pit trap? Or something using those wolf teeth?
>D) Hey, maybe she can offer him some of these herbs Remu brought. If they’re mixed into some food, he could be fooled. If he’s busy shitting himself, he’ll have a hard time fighting – and THEN we sneak attack him.
>E) Write-IN?

>>6237275
There's also hidden stats and abilities at play, the latter which haven't been unlocked yet.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>6237919
>D) Hey, maybe she can offer him some of these herbs Remu brought. If they’re mixed into some food, he could be fooled. If he’s busy shitting himself, he’ll have a hard time fighting – and THEN we sneak attack him.
I'm also partial to C but I'm not sure if Boss gorilla will even let her leave the village.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>6237921
Good to know. We've seriously got our work cut out for us. Gorillas are already superhumanly strong. If one amplifies it, we've got to be smart to survive.

>>6237919
>D) Hey, maybe she can offer him some of these herbs Remu brought. If they’re mixed into some food, he could be fooled. If he’s busy shitting himself, he’ll have a hard time fighting – and THEN we sneak attack him.
Poison is an honourless tactic, which is excellent. Trying to fight gorillas fair will get us killed. In the meantime...
>Give Jerb the huge stick
He'll use it better than we can and if he thinks we trust him enough for a gift, his affection could grow.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>6237919
>D) Hey, maybe she can offer him some of these herbs Remu brought. If they’re mixed into some food, he could be fooled. If he’s busy shitting himself, he’ll have a hard time fighting – and THEN we sneak attack him.
>A) We’ll all go into No-No’s tent now and hide – at night it’ll be much easier to do so. She lures the Boss into her tent, and we’ll just sneak attack him. Provided we can hide within her tent somehow.

>>6237919

(Roll kept for when action starts)
“No-No, you could offer him some of these herbs Remu brought.” You throw her the rugged little sack filled with leaves and other plant matter.
“She says it’s not meant to be ingested. Well, if they’re mixed into some food, you might just be able to fool that damned Gorilla.” A devilish grin spreads across your face.
Yes, this is an extremely dishonorable method. But who gives a damn? It’s a Gorilla, a huge, superhumanly strong animal.
If you tried fighting fair, you’d be abandoning the one advantage that puts humans on top of the food chain just to appease your own ego. Nah, that’s not you.
“If he’s busy shitting himself, he’ll have a hard time fighting. In the meantime, we’ll have snuck into the village, ready to strike when the time is right.”
The older chimp looks at the herb sack intently. “It’s a nice plan. It’ll be risky for me, but I’m willing to try. You’re smarter than you look.”
“Wow, thanks for the backhanded compliment.” She snickers. “Alright, if you’re all on board, we’ll begin the plan tomorrow right after sunset.”
“Boss, why wait until tomorrow?” Remu interjects.
“She’ll lure him into her hut right around the time when people start retiring to their homes to rest. That’ll make it easier for us to sneak in again, just like you did tonight.” You nod sagely.
“Anyway, take her back now, we’ll rest up and prepare.”
-
The following morning you wake up quite late, must be close to noon already. Didn’t get much more sleep in that urine covered pelt.
Plus Remu-chan got back quite late – everything on her end went smoothly it seems. She’s still resting up, the poor girl barely got any rest.
You see Jerb is already up, he’s playing with some rocks. Stacking them and watching them fall.
He’s stronger than you. Burly, probably a Might +2 or something if you had to guess? It’d be easier if you could check their stats. Maybe there’s a Skill or Ability that can help.
“Hey, how about you use this? Think of it as a gift,” you say, pointing to the massive stick you had used previously.
Jerb perks up and rushes to grab the weapon. He lifts it with ease and gives it a couple swings. The chimp hoots excitedly. “Thanks Boss!” You check his affection rating and sure enough:
>Jerb, Affection Rating E
It’s easy to please idiots.
“Plan already set in stone, now it’s just about execution.” Yet, there’s the whole afternoon ahead, before it’s time to act. Time to figure out how to spend the next few hours.
>Don’t need to roll, you’re 19 is saved up
>Pick one or more:
>A) Farm Axe skills in the woods, maybe try to level up again fighting critters.
>B) Try to spar with Jerb, will that give us XP?
>C) Try crafting something with those wolf-teeth. Perhaps some kind of weird macuahuitl but with teeth?
>D) Try lighting a fire, you’re starved and it could be nice to hunt something and eat some real meat.
>E) Write-in

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>6238357
>A) Farm Axe skills in the woods, maybe try to level up again fighting critters.
Let's get some expertise before we try to execute a gorilla.

>>6238357
>A) Farm Axe skills in the woods, maybe try to level up again fighting critters.
>B) Try to spar with Jerb, will that give us XP?

>>6238371
Unfortunate that we didn’t need to roll.

>>6238374
Lmao, true.

>>6238357
I'm a bit buzzed so it I said some shit call me out k?

>>6238357
>A) Farm Axe skills in the woods, maybe try to level up again fighting critters.
We can't rely on Jerb for everything.

>>6238374
Just burning that good luck before we get too carried away, kek.

>>6238382
It's all accurate. Even the 19, come to think of it. Double or nothing.

>>6238357
>>A) Farm Axe skills in the woods, maybe try to level up again fighting critters.
Curious if there is some kind of perk of using a weapon we crafted ourself

>>6238357
>Farm Axe skills in the woods, maybe try to level up again fighting critters.
training montage to show off for our bitches and Jerb our retarded homie minion

Ok A it is.
No update tonight because I'm not home, will compensate tomorrow.

>>6238357
(Going to use that second 19 because fuck it I’m feeling nice today)
The plan is already set in motion, but there’s a slight flaw to it. So far, the stick has been your weapon of choice.
Suddenly switching to an axe wastes all that sweet XP gained so far. Not that you became a stickmaster, but at least you were a bit closer to that sweet +1.
Good thing that this place has plenty of creatures to ‘practice’ with, and you’re not exactly short on time. While Remu is sleeping, you leave Jerb in charge of securing the camp.
If any chimps show up, he’s been instructed to feign ignorance. That shouldn’t be too difficult for him.
While you stroll around the forest looking for things to kill, you make sure to keep track of your position relative to camp.
It’s as easy as making a few notches on their bark, pointing to where you headed next.
You have no difficulty finding multiple bug nests. Massive green cockroaches net you 0 XP, and they’re a bit hard to strike since they’re always skittering much lower than say, a wolf.
Still, when you take down the whole nest you get a little pop up that says.
>Swarm Defeated +1 XP
It takes you a few hours, but you clear enough nests to level up. It’s a safe and reliable way to get XP. Not only that, but you manage to increase your axe skill.
>Axe Combat +5 XP [5/5] 0 -> +1
>Level UP! +5 XP [7/7] Lv. 2 -> 3
>Axe Ability Cue Unlocked [1/3]
That last bit is new. Perhaps abilities are unlocked by fulfilling certain conditions? Thinking back, all you did was smash your axe down on a ton of roaches.
Maybe they can also be learned from others, but for now it seems your only option would be to investigate these cues further once you have time.
The only downside is that after leveling up, the nests seem to net you basically no extra XP.
While cleaning up your axe to head back you spot something shiny half-buried within one of the nests. Disgusting though it may be, you opt to dig it out.
Trying not to gag while sifting through mud, eggs and cockroach poo, you finally uncover the hidden treasure. It’s an amulet. Attached to an almost-certainly-human skeleton.
“Okay, interesting. I figured I’d be the only human around.” Unless this poor sod is your predecessor, sent here by… Well, best not to dwell on this.
>Amulet of Warding: May block one incoming attack a day. [0 of 3 Charges]
“Wait a fucking second. You had an absurd cheat item like this, and you died to COCKROACHES? You even wasted all charges in the starting area?” you snap at the corpse.
Shaking your head, you pocket the amulet and make your way back to the others. Who knows, maybe there’s a way to recharge this thing.

>>6239508
-
Back at camp, it’s already getting pretty late. Time to get in position and commence operation Pimp-Slap.
You walk with Jerb and Remu towards the edge of the village, hidden by foliage and shadows. People start leaving for their huts to rest for the day.
Sure enough, you spot him. He’s just what you’d expect of a Gorilla titled “Regular Gorilla”; but he still has his quirks, like the gaudy bone necklace he’s wearing, and the hat made of feathers. Purple feathers.
Yeah, pimpin’.
He heads for the hut. “That No-No’s?” you whisper to Remu. She nods.
Good, things are going according to plan.
-
After giving it some extra time, you motion for Remu to lead the way. You and her go in first, making sure to sneak around the last few guards.
She motions for you to hide under a small annex which you quickly realize is some kind of outhouse. The smell of shit is nothing compared to that cockroach nest.
Remu rushes back outside, to bring Jerb, should take her a minute at worst.
“NO!” you hear shouting from within the nearby hut. Not a performance but an actual desperate cry from within No-No’s hut. Something the locals should be used to, if what Remu told you is true.
Wait, you didn’t agree on a cue to act, nor did you expect to let Pimp have his way with her. You’d just wait enough time for the herbs to kick in while she stalled. Something went wrong.
>Pick 1 Stat to add +1 (Might, Agility, Endurance or Intellect)
>A) Rush into the hut, whatever it is, you can’t just hang her dry.
>B) Try to sneak outside and peer into the hut first before acting.
>C) Wait for the other two, can’t act recklessly now.
>D) Write-in

>>6239511
+1 int
B) Try to sneak outside and peer into the hut first before acting
Gorillas can often fight each other by ripping the opposing gorillas balls off an waiting for them to bleed to death.

>>6239511
>Pick 1 Stat to add +1 (Might, Agility, Endurance or Intellect)
I’ll just add to whichever gets the most votes.
>B) Try to sneak outside and peer into the hut first before acting.

>>6239511
+1 to Might, we might need to bump our combat if we are facing our first of 100 gorillas
> hat made of feathers. Purple feathers.
I want that fucking hat
>B) Try to sneak outside and peer into the hut first before acting.
as much as id like to add a new fat ass bitch to our growing harem if we catch him both mid nut and mid shitting himself we can hit him from behind and really get him

>>6238975
No prob, this quest is my favourite running right now.

>>6239508
We can gather a few things from this. The XP given by monsters is reduced as we gain levels, we can gain abilities by using weapons in new ways, and, possibly most importantly, we aren't the first human sent here. That's likely why the goddess is so short-tempered with us. Everyone else has been incompetent.

That Amulet of Warding is very intriguing. It's a useless trinket now, but it is shiny and primates of all kinds are suckers for them. Maybe we can trade it later on. Useful to have, in any case.

>>6239511
The last thing we need to do is run in to fight a gorilla in hand-to-hand combat. Poor No-No. If we were stronger, maybe, but we'd only get ourselves killed now. That hat has some swagger, I agree with anon, we should pilfer it if we can.

>+1 Agility
>B) Try to sneak outside and peer into the hut first before acting.

I'd like to boost our Might, but the average gorilla is likely at +5 and it'll only get worse from here. Bringing Agility and Endurance up to average will help us, but we'll only be average. The greatest advantage we have is our human brain. If we can get it to +3, around genius, we'll likely start being able to break into magic, which is a huge equalizer.

That advantage means nothing if we gas out or stumble in a fight with a damn dirty ape. I think we should focus on it in the future, but for now, we need to get up to a deceng baseline. Besides that, the smarter we get, the easier it'll be to manipulate chimps into rebellion.

>>6239511
>>6239693
Support Speed is king. Going to 0 will be great to maybe dodge.
Also any exp to scouting while killing bug nests?

>>6239511
>>6239732
Actually change that to
>A) Rush into the hut, whatever it is, you can’t just hang her dry.
Since no-no's in danger possibility of her getting killed by the pimp. Or catching him with his pants down also works.

>>6239511
>Agility -1 -> 0
>Scouting [2/7] (anon was right)
(Rolled 19)
No need to rush things. Sure, something awful is going down right now.

That much is certain given the harrowing screams coming from that hut. But that doesn’t mean you should risk your life over it.

You know you’re not the first human to venture into this world.

Though it might be a mere conjecture, it seems safe to assume your predecessors’ missions were the same as yours. If that’s true, then it’s also likely they’re all dead.

But you don’t plan on dying. You’re going to be the one that will finally finish this goddess’ quest. No matter how awful the things you must do.

Carefully stepping out of the outhouse, you crouch-walk towards No-No’s hut. Videogame stealth isn’t optimal; it’s just the only thing you know.

The screams get louder, accompanied by heavy thuds and the sound of something breaking.

A guard passes nearby. It seems that your poor attempt at stealth wasn’t even necessary, as he seems to avoid even looking anywhere near that hut.

Somehow, you also didn’t alert him through noise either.

You were silent enough, or maybe just timed your steps right according to the commotion coming from the gorilla’s scuffle with his lover-whore.

>Stealth +3 XP [3/5]

You lean closer to the door and peer through a gap between it and the wall. No-No is sprawled on the floor, she’s still alive. Screaming. Kicking.

The Boss paces around. He’s not shitting himself just yet, but something else is off. His hat is on the ground, next to it and scattered all over the place are shards of pottery.

Pimp doubles over and coughs; his breaths ragged, the area around his mouth looks rougher than you’d expect. Some kind of irritation?

The realization dawns on you. “Oh, that’s just fucking wonderful, isn’t it?” you mutter, despite yourself. Pimp is allergic to whatever herbs Remu gathered.

It doesn’t seem strong enough to kill him. Probably. Though he’s going to be winded much faster when fighting.

Plus, when that poison hits his stomach, whatever effects it has on the digestive tract might well be enhanced. You’re not a doctor, so who knows, really.

Perhaps the goddess did give you some cheat ability. Blessed luck or something.

Still, that’s quite the large gorilla, and he’s pretty pissed off. You look around you and spot some shadows moving around the huts, closing in. Remu and Jerb should be arriving soon.

You peer back into the hut. The Boss raises both his fists, ready to smash that poor chim. It seems he’s done playing.

However, just as it seems he is about to No-No to the afterlife, he hesitates.

Time to...
>Roll d20, best of three
>A) Rush in now, damned the consequences you can at least stall until backup arrives.
>B) Try to distract him, knock at the door and then hide in the outhouse.
>C) Just wait, it’ll be three-on-one and the poison will be even worse. Sucks to be No-No.
>D) Write-in

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>6240342
>B) Try to distract him, knock at the door and then hide in the outhouse.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>6240342
Hmm... a direct assault will get us killed and waiting, while effective, will seriously reduce Remu-chan's affection and she's been useful so far. If we distract him, his erratic behavior could lead to a similar outcome, putting both us and No-No at-risk. I have a fourth plan.
>D) Knock on the hut and speak. "Pimp! I'm the slave of a wiseape from another troop, sent to save you! The girl is innocent, an evil spirit is trying to poison you and frame her! Quick-"
>Toss the Amulet of Warding inside
>"-put on the necklace, close your eyes, and focus on shitting out the spirit! Only that save your life!"
It's just detailed enough that Pimp won't question it, and the amulet will lend our words credence.

>>6240350
>1
So much for blessed luck, kek.

>>6239693
I'm glad to hear that

>>6240350
You still have one shot, I'm praying

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>6240350
Sure support it's funny

>>6240362
Would this roll get a +2 for shit posting

>>6240350
>>6240378
Yeah

>>6240350
+1 for this but I also want us to try and steal the hat he left on the ground when he closes his eyes to shit
Pimping aint easy but we deserve it

>>6240350
>>6240342

funny as hell, lets do it

>>6240342
>12+2+(?)
Weighing the options takes a mere instant. If you don’t do anything, that’ll definitely make Remu think less of you. If you act, you might die.
Obviously, you’re going to do whatever nets you affection points with the kemono waifu. You’re certain that somewhere out in the cosmos the goddess is calling you a desperate virgin. Whatever.
It’s risky to intervene, but you just need to buy time and you already have a plan. A ruse. Although it’s not your best work, it still has good odds of working.
You knock on the hut’s door a few times. “Pimp! Boss Pimp! I am a slave from another troop! My liege sent me to assist —” before you can finish speaking, the door swings open.
From up close, he’s a lot more menacing. Especially with his face looking like it got stung by dozens of bees.
The gorilla’s eyes widen in recognition. “Human”, he says in a raspy, choking voice.
Your heart skips a beat, muscles tense. He knows about humans, what else does he know? You’re ready to lash out— but you hold your instincts back with all the willpower you can muster.
“I heard Sultan had taken one of your kind as his slave,” he says, in a surprisingly calm tone. “Speak.”
You clear your throat, getting back into character. “The lady is innocent. An evil spirit sent by our enemy is trying to poison you and frame the ones you love.”
He furrows his brow as you reach into your pocket. You pull the amulet out and hand it to him. The necklace glistens in the moonlight, it’s a silver circle with three dull stones arranged in a triangle.
“Simply put this on and focus on defecating—” he raises an eyebrow. “…Shitting out the curse.”
The ape inspects the amulet, eying it suspiciously. Then he doubles over in yet another coughing fit.
“Fine.” Pimp heads into the outhouse. It’s clear that the little toilet was built for a chimp and not a gorilla, his fur being pulled by the entrance’s frames. Like a fat person trying to fit into skinny jeans.
Nonetheless, he fits inside with some effort. You turn just in time to see Jerb and Remu. They took down the guard. Probably Remu’s idea, clever girl.
The disgusting straining noises hit you, an uncomfortable reminder of the events transpiring a few feet away. Then, the bursting, popping, positively explosive sounds of diarrhea.
Everything worked out fine, according to plan, just in a really roundabout way.
You look at the gorilla. He’s wheezing, stuck in a tiny outhouse, shitting himself.
All the cards are on the table now, and it’s looking like the game is yours to lose. It’d take a massive fumble to screw this up.

>>6240866
>Roll d20 best of three
>A) Signal Remu, Jerb. All out attack! It’ll be hard to attack him all at once thorough the entrance but it’s possible.
>B) Try to topple the outhouse, maybe once he’s down you can just finish him.
>C) Wait, maybe if you take him down together you’ll lose XP. Approach calmly and then try to strike him on your own with your axe.
>D) Write-in

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>6240866
I can't believe that worked.
>A) Signal Remu, Jerb. All out attack! It’ll be hard to attack him all at once thorough the entrance but it’s possible.
No room for monkeying around, we've got to go straight for the kill!

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6240869
>A) Signal Remu, Jerb. All out attack! It’ll be hard to attack him all at once thorough the entrance but it’s possible.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>6240866
>D) Write-in
Have Remu to set the outhouse on fire and just have us and Jerb block him from leaving. It will be easier to keep someone from going through a tight squeeze door than to three man him in an outhouse.
I assume the chimp camp has campfires or torches.

>>6240891
Support+1

>>6240869
>A) Signal Remu, Jerb. All out attack! It’ll be hard to attack him all at once thorough the entrance but it’s possible.

before that steal his pimp hat that's a top priority

Letting you know, since I'm trying to post once a day, that I am not posting today cause of overtime work.
Here's a random monke girl I tried to draw instead.

>>6241606
Damn.

>>6241608
Cute monki.

>>6241608
based. our first waifu is a cutie
>now draw the new one with a fat ass

>>6241606
It's all good「Gorilla」, take all the time you need to cook.

>>6241608
>neuronactivation.jpg

>>6240866
(Rolled 18)
Part of you wants to rush back into the hut and get the feathered purple hat for your big moment – your first Gorilla kill, finally. No, you’ve got at least *some* self-control.

The fetid smells hit your nostrils, bad enough to make you gag. Noises fitting for some kind of weird fetish ASMR video. Not that you’d know, of course.

It may be a shameful circumstance. It’s also exactly the kind of situation you envisioned when you laid out your plan.

You raise your hand then wave it towards the pitiful gorilla. His death all but guaranteed.

Jerb raises an eyebrow, the gesture being clearly too abstract for him. Thankfully, Remu is by his side, quick to assist.

“He’s saying we should attack him,” whispers the Lemur girl. She’s not bad as a tard-wrangler.

With a grunt, the chimp rushes towards the outhouse. He’s quick. Before you can strike, he’s already poking the gorilla with his stick’s pointy end.

Blood spurts out. Not a lot, but enough to let you know that Pimp is indeed just a Regular Gorilla, as his name implies. No cheats, no magic, no superpowered durability.

You close the gap and strike with your stone axe.

The riverbed rock has quite an edge to it, and while it’ll be difficult to break any bones from this angle, it leaves deep gashes on his fur.

Remu doesn’t have a weapon, yet she still manages to surprise you by punching directly where you struck with your axe.

Her tiny fist actually slips into the wound with a squelching sound, like she’s an obstetrician about to pull out a hairy baby out of Pimp.

She squeaks and stumbles back. A yellow and blood-red, glistening mass of *something* comes out. You’re pretty sure that’s the thing that holds his guts in place.

“What the fuck?” you gasp out.

Does that count as critical? Do thieves get sneak attack bonuses? Questions for later.

Everything is going according to plan. For now. Boss Pimp doesn’t take the abuse lying down.

He’s having an allergic reaction, shitting himself, stuck in an outhouse, getting pierced. And whatever that last attack was. Yet, he roars.

It’s strained, raspy. That doesn’t stop you from hesitating, you step back. The 400-pound beast before you is still intimidating despite all that you’ve done to him.

Jerb goes for another strike and is immediately foiled as the outhouse bursts. Thankfully he rolls away just in time, stick held firmly in his arms.

He’s loose now. Boss Pimp in all his shit-covered, bloody glory. He says nothing, just growls and puffs his nostrils. He beats his chest, ready to rumble.
>Roll d20 best of three
>Pick one or more
>A) Motion for the group to fall back, try to keep your distance and let him tire himself out a bit more.
>B) Have one of you distract him while the rest go for the kill (who?)
>C) We have better odds of finishing this quickly if we all strike at once.
>D) Write-in

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>6242228
>B) Have one of you distract him while the rest go for the kill (who?)
steal his hat and wear it to show we are stealing his drip while the others attack from a distance, we dont know how leveling up works yet so this will be at least a chance to see if others doing damage rewards us with exp or not

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6242234
+1

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>6242228
TOTAL! GORILLA! DEATH!

>>6242234
Clever plan, anon. I'll support this.

>>6242234
+1

>>6242234
Maybe he'll bleed out from being so enraged.

>>6242234
since we seem to be going with my plan we should probably add that we plan to fuck his bitches too, really steal his place as mack daddy of the apes.

(Rolled 18+2)
Time for plan B. You scamper into the hut. It’s barren.

Just an uncomfortable-looking cot, some pottery, the mess that you saw when you last peered into it, and the purple feathered hat.

No-No is still there. Her chest slowly rises and falls; she’s unconscious, not dead.

There’ll be time to check on her properly later, now you have a boss fight to finish.

You hurriedly scoop up the hat and put it on.

It’s a bit too big for your head, settling at an angle that nearly covers your eyes. That’ll probably need some adjustments.

You rush out, hoping that this little detour didn’t get either of your allies killed.

Thankfully, they’re hanging in there. Remu is just fast enough to stay away from the Boss.

Meanwhile Jerb is somehow clever enough to keep that stick between him and the 400-pound gorilla.

“Hey you fat ugly bastard, this nice hat yours? I think I’m gonna keep it,” you say smugly, a lopsided grin spread over your face.


Without hesitation, the gorilla changes directions and throws his weight your way. Before you even think to dodge, Jerb strikes his knee from the side.

Pimp drops to one knee, but staggers back up and swings at Jerb. Once, twice, thrice. The chimp rollls backwards when he’s finally struck.

The stick’s tip shatters from the blow, a foot of it just gone. Damn shame.

>>6242697
“While you’re busy beating on the followers I stole I guess I’ll be busy fucking all your bitches.”

““That fat-assed ape looked *fine*.”
You gulp as he faces you once more, but you keep the pressure up. “And Remu, you saving her up? She’s too cute to let some stupid gorilla take her, guess she’ll be mine now.”

“Silence!” he manages to yell out, his voice so coarse it’s hard to even make out the words.

Remu helps Jerb up. She’s got his stick in hand. If you stall just a bit more they can attack again.

“I’mma be the mack daddy of them apes in your place, don’t worry, I’ll take *real* good care of them…”

You dodge his swing at the very last moment. His massive fist whizzes past your head and smashes the hut’s wall straight on, leaving a sizeable dent on it.

That’s time enough for your allies to jump back in. The chimp-and-lemur duo charge, carrying the stick like a battering ram.
Unnoticed in their approach, they jam the stick straight into his back. He stumbles a couple of steps and plops down with a dry thud. Not dead yet but completely defeated.

“That was a complete, utter success.” An amazing first boss takedown. No casualties. Minor injuries, except for No-No but she’s still alive.

Remu throws her weight on you, heaving a sigh of relief. Her fur and face are glistening with sweat. “Did you mean it?” she mutters. What’s *it*?

You look around and notice that some chimps are peeking from within their huts. A brave few have ventured outside.
Well, time to…
>No roll required, for now.
>Pick one or more!
>A) Talk to Boss Pimp before he passes. Ask him something, or gloat – whatever floats your boat.
>B) Check in on No-No, maybe someone here can give her first aid.
>C) Announce to the troop that they’re free again, free to elect a new, non-oppressive boss.
>D) Announce to the troop that they’re under new and improved management.
>E) Ask Remu what the fuck she’s talking about.
>F) Write-in

>>6242699
>Remu is horny for pimp Dough
"no time for that babe i need to be awesome"0
>order Jerb to get No-No some first aid
and while he does that
>interrogate the pimp gorilla and maybe get the last hit in to get some extra exp for our first boss fight
once he's dead
>D) Announce to the troop that they’re under new and improved management.

>>6242710
+1. Good plan. Seizing a chimp troop is risky, but so was fighting a gorilla. If we want to max our Intelligence they'll be useful.

>>6242710
+1

>>6242699
>A
Where are the easiest to kill gorillas at

>>6242710
+1

>>6242699
“No time for that babe, I need to be awesome right now,” you say, gently pushing her off from your side.

She smiles, then nods and steps away. Her fluffy, black-and-white striped tail swaying in the wind.

You watch as she finds a place to sit down, back against the hut’s wall. She closes her eyes, probably finally feeling all that exertion after the surge of adrenaline has passed.

Being popular with women isn’t something you ever had to deal with, but you’re handling it surprisingly well.

Without skipping a beat you turn to Jerb, shaking those thoughts away. There are more important things to take care of right now.

The chimp is kneeling near his former Boss. His body propped up against the stick that’s still buried inside the dying Gorilla.

If he is at all bothered by it, he doesn’t let it show, his expression remains completely neutral.

“Hey, Jerb, can you go and check on No-No? Get her to someone who can give her proper first aid care.” He grunts something unintelligible, gets up and heads inside.

You squat beside the gorilla’s face. His eyes seem unfocused, like he’s not quite here anymore. He can’t have much time left.

“Talk. Where’re the next easy-to-beat Gorillas?”

He huffs, his mouth curls into a bloody grin. Yeah, he probably won’t give you many answers.

You put your fingers inside one of his wounds. Pimp starts shaking weakly from the pain but doesn’t make a peep. He grinds his teeth.

“You said something about another human, where?” you whisper, trying to hide that word from any prying ears.

“South,” he coughs, droplets of blood hitting your face. Disgusting.

“Sultan’s slave. It’ll be the death of you, human,” he mumbles, already starting to drift into unconsciousness.

You prod him a few more times with other questions about other Gorillas, but he doesn’t budge. His eyes start flickering closed.

“Time to finish you off, I guess.” You get up, axe held high up in the air. No hesitation. You chop down as if cutting wood, smashing open his skull with your stone axe.

>Boss Pimp the Regular Gorilla defeated! +7 XP [7/9]
>Achievement: Gorilla Killa – First Gorilla Killed +2 XP [9/9]
>Level UP! +1 Stat Point
>Axe Combat +3 XP [3/5]

Good, you still leveled up even in a party. And so did your allies.
>Jerb Lv. 3
>Class: Troglodyte Lv 3 [1/11]
>Affection: E

>Remu Lv. 3
>Class: Hussy Lv 1, Thief Lv 2 [0/11]
>Affection: B

>Quest Updated: To Pimp a Butterfly
>Log: No-No survived, talk to her once she’s awake.
“Interesting,” you mutter, swiping away all the system UI windows.

Time to make an announcement. You walk to the center of the village, bloody axe in hand.

>>6243118
“I took down your old tyrant of a Boss. He mistreated and oppressed you for his own gain.” There isn’t much response from the crowd.
You raise your balled up fist. “I won’t do that. I will make sure you live long, prosperous and free lives.”
All I ask for is that you fight by my side, like Remu and Jerb did, so that we may finally free this land from the grasps of the Gorillas.” You glance around and notice a few quiet nods.
You grin. “I’m the Boss now.”
Remu, who’s already up and prancing your way raises her fist in the air. “All hail Boss Dough For Sure!” a few hands shoot up.
You don’t blame them, it’s alright to be suspicious after all that transpired. They’ll come to trust you in no time.
First order of business
>Select one stat to increase between Might, Agility, Endurance and Intellect
>A) Rally the chimps, try to grasp what the situation here is. Maybe you can spend some time improving their condition before setting out on a new journey.
>B) No time to waste, get them to organize their belongings for the troop will be migrating south. You want to check this Sultan fellow soon.
>C) Loot! Time to check what’s inside Boss Pimp’s hut. Those weapons and whatever else that might be useful.
>D) Take the time to talk to your allies first, check in on them (who and what?)
>E) Write-in

>>6243119
>Endurance get everything to zero
>A) Rally the chimps, try to grasp what the situation here is. Maybe you can spend some time improving their condition before setting out on a new journey.
I'd say we go hunting and leveling and resting for like around three days at least to a week. Acquiring skills to help out traveling.

>>6243120
+1
No-No will probably need medical care as well so spending a few days proving we are a better leader and pimp than the old boss is a worthwhile investment in the long term plus gives us some time to see if we can get any other meatshields like Jerb while we hit on Remu

>>6243119
>A) Rally the chimps, try to grasp what the situation here is. Maybe you can spend some time improving their condition before setting out on a new journey.

>>6243119
>>D) Take the time to talk to your allies first, check in on them (who and what?)

Praise Jerb for taking hit like a champ. Since he likes raw meat, tell him he can call dibs on fresh meat he just helped kill. Tell him it was smart of him to keep the weapon between him and the gorilla (e.g. since he doesn't like being called dumb, lets point out the smart things he does and get his loyalty up)

Give Remu a head pat, maybe go with option E) and ask what she's talking about but since she is our most enthusiastic follower, maybe see if she can be our second in charge and "rally" the troops so to speak (surely she can get all the women on board and some of the weaker males).

Talk to No-No and finish her quest to get XP and ask if she wants to join our merry band

>>6243119
This place is kind of a shithole. The huts are not exactly luxury housing. Being made of wood, mud and some kind of dry reed, they’re exactly what you’d expect from a village in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.
They don’t have farming other than small vegetable gardens, so they probably rely mostly on foraging and hunting. As you already knew, weapons are locked down. That definitely makes hunting dangerous for these apes.
You decide to take a quick poll with the villagers, asking what exactly is troubling them right now. Remu helps you with reaching out to them, basically acting as your liaison.
While she handles that, you just take a quick inventory of the weapons within Boss Pimp’s hut. Well, your hut now. Not a full looting session, so you don’t check every nook and cranny.
There’s twenty spears, eleven bows and a pretty sizeable quantity of arrows, two rusty swords and just as Remu said, a staff. It’s made of metal, intrincate carvings covering it, adorned with a red, polished gem on one end.
It does look like it should shoot fire, but you’re not sure how to activate it. After giving it a couple swings and shouting potential fire spell names, you give up.
Remu hurries up to your side as soon as you leave the hut. “Boss, I finished asking around what people think, like you asked.” She smiles, seemingly eager to continue, but holding back in expectation of your assent.
“Go on, I have time.” She nods enthusiastically.
“Food. That’s the number one thing in apes’ mouths. That and they’re scared of hunting without weapons. Oh, and…”
She paces a bit before continuing, her eyes downcast. “Some are a bit afraid of you. What with killing Pimp and all that. But I’m sure they’ll come around in no time!” Somehow she manages to end it in an enthusiastic tone.
“Thanks Remu. Guess I’ll work on issue #1 and farm some XP.”
“Expee?” she asks, head slightly tilted.
You sigh and wave her off. “Don’t worry about it.”

>>6244841
-
It’s been three days. You haven’t yet released weapons to the general population, but you did improve the food supply issue.
You, Remu and Jerb did a lot of hunting, returning with enough meat to give the villagers quite the feast. These two are trustworthy enough, so they even got to carry their own weapons before the rest. Jerb picked a sword, and Remu a bow.
When you had the opportunity, you made sure to give Jerb plenty of fresh, raw meat, and even gave him a few compliements for his fighting skills during the battle with the previous Boss. That alone was enough to raise his affection to D.
The trio also personally guarded females and males as they set traps for small game, foraged and gathered. The added security made them all feel a lot better, and it definitely improved your reputation.
The XP doesn’t come that easily now. You’re outgrowing this area quite fast. After three days of frequent fighting, you don’t even get halfway to level 5.
>Class: Shitposter (Lv.4) [5/11]
Additionally, your scouting went up, and so did axe combat.
>[Status]
>Class: Shitposter (Lv.4) [5/11]
>Might: 0
>Agility: 0
>Endurance: 0
>Intellect: +1
>Status: Tired (-1)
>Skills: Videogames +1, Shitposting +2 [4/7], Scouting +2 [0/9], Axe Combat +2 [0/9], Unarmed Combat [2/5], Crafting [2/5], Stickmanship [4/5]
No-No spent those two days recovering. You want to speak to her soon, but it’s been a busy couple of days as you hunted, guarded and still had to find time to rest whenever possible.
There are other problems, things you could try. But ultimately your mission isn’t to play village elder. You still have 99 problems, and Gorillas are all of them.
>Roll d20, best of three, and pick one *or more* options:
>A) Time to talk to No-No, see about that quest. Maybe it’ll give you extra XP
>B) See about handing everyone weapons. You’re pretty sure you can hold them together through loyalty. Plus you killed their previous boss.
>C) Start packing things up to leave and head south – only with the core companions.
>D) Time for the entire troop to migrate. This area is devoid of civilization and you’ll have better luck moving south to continue the mission.
>E) Write-in

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>6244843
>A) Time to talk to No-No, see about that quest. Maybe it’ll give you extra XP
>B) See about handing everyone weapons. You’re pretty sure you can hold them together through loyalty. Plus you killed their previous boss.

>>6244843
Things are going better than expected.
>A) Time to talk to No-No, see about that quest. Maybe it’ll give you extra XP
>B) See about handing everyone weapons. You’re pretty sure you can hold them together through loyalty. Plus you killed their previous boss.
We're getting dangerous with an axe. Maybe it'd be worth trying to craft a two-handed version, later. I bet that staff requires some kind of mage class. I'm curious to see what'll happen if we manage to reach Level 5 Shitposter.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>6244876
Forgot the dice, my mistake.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6244843
>A) Time to talk to No-No, see about that quest. Maybe it’ll give you extra XP
>B) See about handing everyone weapons. You’re pretty sure you can hold them together through loyalty. Plus you killed their previous boss.
But they have to go through Jerb since he is at least too retarded to betray us for ape pussy and is liking how he gets raw meat with us (plus he thinks we can read minds so he wont even think of betraying us)
We'll tell him its because hes the strongest ape we know which technically isnt a lie since we dont know that many

>>6244843
>E) Write-in
try to figure out the flame thrower.
I assume its an int based weapon and putting stats into any other attribute is a waste of points.

>A) Time to talk to No-No, see about that quest. Maybe it’ll give you extra XP
>C) Start packing things up to leave and head south – only with the core companions.

>>6244843
>A) Time to talk to No-No, see about that quest. Maybe it’ll give you extra XP

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>6244887
Support+1

You order Jerb and some of the other chimps to break out the weapons. They go into Boss Pimp’s hut and start taking out all the goodies.

Before some idiotic chimp runs off with the staff, you make sure to grab it. “Almost forgot about that.”

As they start sifting through the weapon pile there is wide celebration among the males. You’re certain you hear a few of them cheering your name – incorrectly, obviously.

Soon enough a group of males is rushing out to hunt even more meat. Hopefully they don’t overhunt the local fauna and cause themselves *more* trouble.

Still, with this they’re back to where they should be at least. No oppression, well-fed, and able to at least protect themselves from local fauna. Damn, Pimp was a dick *and* he was incompetent.
-
Time to check on No-No, she’s doing a lot better from what you’ve heard. You head to one of the huts, Remu in tow. It belongs to what passes for a healer in this village.

The place is about as rugged and barren as the other huts, made with mud, wood and dry reeds. They’re suited to the region and make sense given the tech level, but it’s starting to bother you being stuck here.

It’s not the same, however, as the insides are adorned with a much wider variety of pots, herbs, fungi, and a weirdly well-organized assortment of bones.

The female inside is elderly. Much older than No-No even, by a few decades probably. That or the environment here is just very unkind to people – well, humanoid Apes’ skins.

She urges you inside, sagging tits bouncing slightly as she moves, and making you think about introducing proper clothing to their culture. The lemur girl follows right behind.

You see No-No lying on a cot, her eyes snap open the instant she hears you coming. “Hey, how’re you doing?”

She eyes you up and down, letting your question hang in the air for a moment. “Dough. You did good, kid. I didn’t even die, wasn’t expecting that,” she rasps out, voice a bit strained still.

“What do you mean?” you and Remu sit near the edge of her cot, so she can speak a bit more quietly.
“I thought that if the slightest thing went wrong with your plan, I’d be the first to suffer the consequences,” she grins. “I’m old, sick, and I’ve taken way too much abuse lately. It’s a miracle you three were fast enough to stop him.”

“Right. Or maybe I’m just that good.”

“Could be. Still, I have something for you, maybe it’ll give you a better chance next time you decide to kill some tyrant.”

No-No gestures towards Remu, motioning for her to come closer. They exchange whispers while you watch quietly.

“Uh, can I at least know my reward?” All that secrecy annoys you, given that you just saved their village, but you let it go.

“It’s a book, belonged to the village elder. The real one,” she adds that last part with a bitter tone.

>>6245412
“We don’t know how to read it, but we pass on the knowledge of the one who owned it through our stories to a select few. I have a feeling you’ll find some use for it.”

That sounds interesting. “I can take you there, Boss,” Remu says, giving you a thumbs up that barely misses your face.

“Thank you. For saving us,” the tired old chimp adds.
>To Pimp a Butterfly Completed +4 XP [9/11]
“Heh. Norm MacDonald.”
They both raise an eyebrow at your sudden outburst.”
>A) Go there straight away. A book? This better be good.
>B) Ask No-No something else.
>C) Try to convince her to join your party.
>D) Write-in

>>6245413
>C) Try to convince her to join your party.

>>6245413
No-No has earned her rest. She ought to stay here, the odds of a chimp with no skills aside from having a large ass getting killed or worse following us are extremely high.

>Thank No-No for risking her life for our quest
>A) Go there straight away. A book? This better be good.

Hmm... an ancestral book, a mysterious staff... My instincts are telling me there's wizardry afoot. We should move with the utmost haste.

>>6245442
+1

>>6245413
>A) Go there straight away. A book? This better be good.

>>6245413
>A) Go there straight away. A book? This better be good.

>>6245413
>>A) Go there straight away. A book? This better be good.

>>6245442
also we can try to recruit her later
not that she really has that much use in combat but she seems to know herbs pretty well
maybe we can put her in charge of some of the gathering as we move the tribe around
>A) Go there straight away. A book? This better be good.
"the secret to monkey chow and getting swole"

>>6245413
>A
While going there think real loud about how we shitposted that we could take that one singular gorilla and it’s totally unfair some goddess is making us take 100. We should be done!

>>6245413
(idk the drawing is funky I'll learn eventually)

“Anyway, I’ll take my leave now. Keep resting, alright? You’ll get to see your troop thrive again,” you say, trying to sound like a nice guy. Which does land since generally, you’ve been a great guy since you got here. Chimp murder aside.

Remu tugs at your arm. “C’mon Boss, I think you’re going to love this.” You follow her out of the hut, having to speedwalk to match her excited pace. She’s almost hopping from one foot to the other as she saunters to the big rock next to the Boss’s hut.
“Uh, so what exactly are we looking for, Remu?” She finishes climbing the rock before you are even done voicing your question.
“No-No said I should come here and then…” she looks upwards to the sun, then to a hut. “Look north. Okay, I see it now, come on!” She slides down the rock and runs off.
You keep up, thankfully you’re at least mediocre in every stat now. Though it’s uncertain if you want to specialize or be a jack-of-all-trades, at least you don’t suck more than the Average Joe at anything.
Remu and you are already into the woods when you spot what she’s looking for. It’s a rock. Strangely shaped, sure, but just a rock. About as tall as your waist.
“Please tell me the treasure is just buried here or something, and we don’t have to keep playing off-brand Indiana Jones and the Lost Monkey Book.”
She completely ignores you and starts digging around the rock. “Getting used to me saying stuff you don’t understand?”
“Yeah. I figure you don’t mind if I get it, but it makes you feel better so…”
“That’s surprisingly insightful,” you mumble. It does make this entire situation a lot easier to deal with when you take the edge off with crappy references and bad humor.
After noticing how much time you’ve been wasting, you kneel down and start digging alongside her.

>>6245929
-
You pull a rough and surprisingly heavy leather pouch from the dirt. Without bothering to dust it off you just pull its contents out. It’s a large tome, wrinkled and damaged in places.
As you move it around, something falls off. Small, made of paper. At first you don’t know what you’re looking at, but then it clicks.
“Wow.”
It’s a picture of an old, fat, pretty ugly-looking dude with a cute monkey girl. An actual photograph, not a drawing. The dude is carrying a staff, somewhat similar to the fire staff you got.
You put the picture back in the book and start checking its contents. Remu paces excitedly near you. She can’t read but she seems to be having a good time watching you do it.
First thing to note: the guy wrote in English. Well, at least the first few chapters. Most of it is written in a language you don’t recognize. You stick to the parts you can grasp.
You don’t want to waste a lot of time reading this right now, but after skimming through the whole thing, you have an idea of its contents:
1) The writer’s name was J.T. and he was an overweight programmer from California. He got run over by a truck and reincarnated here under the auspices of — to no-one’s surprise ¬—¬ that same shitty goddess.
2) He had to kill one evil demon lord. Wait, hey that seems unfair?
3) There’s a guide on a few species he encountered in this world.
4) Last, but not least, he writes about abilities — including some really cool drawings of swole guys with swords — and magic, noting that he’d keep adding more info as he progressed through this world. Shame you can’t read the rest just yet.
This could be *extremely* useful. “Remind me to thank No-No”
>Pick one or more:
>A) Screw skimming, go back to your new hut and keep reading the MAGIC section! (Roll d20 best of three for Intellect)
>B) Screw skimming, go back to your new hut and keep reading the MAGIC section! (Roll d20 best of three for Intellect)
>C) Screw skimming, go back to your new hut and keep reading the Fauna section (Roll d20 best of three for Intellect)
>D) Ask Remu if she knows anything about the weird language in the book.
>E) Write-in

>>6245930
A is ABILITIES. My bad

Rolled 19 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>6245929
>pic
What a GOD. If we can gain half of J.T.'s sheer aura, we'll be invincible.

>>6245930
>A) Screw skimming, go back to your new hut and keep reading the ABILITIES section! (Roll d20 best of three for Intellect)
I'm as amped on magic as anyone, but we need to know as much as possible before we start specializing. Stats aren't everything. If skills and abilities out of them are useful enough, I wouldn't be opposed to running some kind of spellaxe build.

>>6245931
No prob, I assume we add the +1 for INT. If not, no worries.

>>6245930
>D) Ask Remu if she knows anything about the weird language in the book.

>>6245930
>D
Don't wanna get back and start reading only to see 80% is unreadable.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>6245930
>A) Screw skimming, go back to your new hut and keep reading the ABILITIES section! (Roll d20 best of three for Intellect)

>D) Ask Remu if she knows anything about the weird language in the book.

Why not get her help on this

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>6245952
Support +1

>>6245930
>A
>>6246008
yeah agree that it doesn't need to be mutually exclusive. just a quick "hey are you literate? have you ever seen any of these symbols written anywhere else?" rather than getting her to read it and translate. I'd rather we get the stat boost.

>>6245930
>>B) Screw skimming, go back to your new hut and keep reading the MAGIC section! (Roll d20 best of three for Intellect)

>>6245952
+1
i mean we have the pimp hat so we are halfway there already
also
>one evil demon lord compared to 100 gorilla lords
anyone else get the idea that J.T used magic to create a monkey army to kill the demon king for him and now we are cleaning up his mess for that bitch ass goddess

>>6245930
>2) He had to kill one evil demon lord. Wait, hey that seems unfair?
Dang, hoped the goddess was still reading our mind and would respond to our griping

>>6245930
The difference between your mission and J.T.’s is fairly noteworthy, but what’s really strange is the total lack of comment from the goddess.

You’re not about to start talking to yourself again in front of Remu. Maybe later on you can try asking the goddess directly.

With your new book in hand, you head back to the Boss’ hut. It’s not like you have anything better to do, and you’re in no rush to go fight another Gorilla.


Remu trails behind you, deep in thought, yet easily stepping over all the faults, branches and rocks that dot the uneven terrain of the forest.

You’re already walking past the village’s central boulder when a thought occurs to you. “Hey, do you by any chance know anything about these symbols?”

You open the book and hand it over so she can take a look. Her gaze flutters around the page, not following any pattern that would indicate someone actually *reading* something.

“I can’t read this but…” she grimaces. It’s slight, momentary, an expression that you might’ve missed if you had glanced away for a second. “I’ll be right back, Boss.”

“Alright, I’ll wait for you in the hut.” You head inside, ignoring everything else and plopping down on the fluffy wolf pelt that covers Pimp’s oversized cot.

You hurriedly open the tome and rush to the section on magic. This thing is much too interesting. You barely stopped yourself from just squatting down in the woods and reading right then and there.

The introductory section on abilities is decidedly autistic, wordy, filled with dated pop culture references — hell, it’s often megalomaniacal, now that you stop and think about it.
The info is good of course, just what you’d expect from one who managed to survive long enough to write something this extensive.

He explains that while skills are more like modifiers to your basic capabilities, abilities are special passive or active powers which alter *what* you can do.

There’s two ways to learn abilities. Either you learn them from a source, like a mentor, or you learn them by collecting ‘cues’.

Those are sort of like achievements, except rather than net you XP they count towards you having that Eureka moment that finally unlocks the damned ability. Stronger abilities require more cues.

“Yeah figured that already. Duh.”

He explains that some cues are very straightforward like getting a kill from throwing a weapon, while others are a bit harder to achieve like being bitten by an apepire.

Some border the absurd, such as pissing on someone while they’re on fire, or making love to an anteater. He notes that he never figured what those were supposed to unlock.

>>6246486
He finally makes a list of skills he unlocked as of the time he wrote that entry:

>Uncanny Dodge I: Evade 7 otherwise fatal attacks, Escape a trap, Escape a ‘trap’
>Tactician’s Eye: Hit 5 enemies in vulnerable or vital points, Hit 5 enemies with their elemental weaknesses
>Cleave I: 4 dismemberments with a bladed weapon, 4 decapitations with a bladed weapon, defeat two foes with a single attack
>Libido Boost: (*scratched out text*)

“What the fuck is this world?”

Almost as if prompted by your words, the hut’s door swings open again. Remu’s back, and she’s holding something. An old, faded red rag. “Hey, took you a while.”

“Sorry…” She sits next to the cot and hands you the rag. It’s of much better quality than anything in this village. Even if it’s old, it’s patterned in a sophisticated way that the chimps around could never achieve. And it’s covered in symbols. Same as in the book.

“Where did you get this?” you examine the rag closely.

“It’s from where I came from, originally. Lemuria.”

“Wait, I feel like we’re crossing a lot of—” you almost bite your tongue. Her eyes are faintly red, like she’s been crying. Ouch, good thing you didn't finish cracking that joke.

>Pick one or more
>A) Ask what she knows about Lemuria.
>B) Try to comfort her and ask what’s wrong. (Roll d20 best of three to not sperg out)
>C) Don’t pry for now, take a step back, crack a joke. Emotional evasion!
>D) Write-in.

I admit I had some trouble with this one, but I trust your creativity anons.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>6246487
D write-in
Hey babe if you don't want to talk you don't have to. After getting my bearings and learning the area. I plan exploring the world. No doubt we'll visit where you came from. Charming anon smile.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>6246487
>C
No spaghetti in pants, no worry of drop.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>6246529
I misread, meant to pick
>B

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>6246487
>B) Try to comfort her and ask what’s wrong. (Roll d20 best of three to not sperg out)
Just groom her hair and tell her everything's going to be okay. Lemurs do that, right? No matter, she was raised by chimps, it'll work, surely.

>>6246487
>B) Try to comfort her and ask what’s wrong. (Roll d20 best of three to not sperg out)

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>6246487
>B
How does one sperg out when asking what's wrong?

>>6246536
Oh, that's on me to creatively figure out, thankfully the 20 means you don't come anywhere close to dropping that spaghetti.

>>6246487
>>6246487
As you lay there on the wolf-pelt covered cot you take a moment to quietly observe her.
She’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, right next to you. Her back is a bit hunched, tense, contracted; her eyes are red, and you’re pretty sure she’s avoiding eye contact.
Since you shut up to watch, you can even hear her breathing. It’s like every exhalation is a sigh.
Yeah. She’s clearly upset. It’s probably an unresolved trauma that you accidentally dug up, and now you need to man up and deal with it.
It must be a touchy subject, and feelings aren’t something you’re used to dealing with.
You’ve always said the wrong thing, missing obvious social cues, making a fool out of yourself.
Of course, it didn’t help that most people already had a fairly negative impression of you.
This time, however? It’s your chance to prove you can be better. You’re not Dough the anonymous shitposter.
Here, you’re Dough, the Isekai hero. Ape-slayer. Some people like or even admire you — her included.
You already saved her and the village, and now you owe it to her to live up to whatever image of ‘Boss Dough’ she has in her mind.
“Ok I got this…” You mutter, resolved to speak up after that little pep talk in your own head.
“Remu, I can tell this is a difficult subject for you.” She glances up at you without fully turning her head.
Crawling out of the cot, you kneel beside her. “I’m not great at this, but I’m here for you. If you want to talk, or cry, or need me to do anything to take your mind off it.”
You saw it in a documentary once; some primate species like to groom each other’s hair. It might be worth a shot. She flinches when you touch her hair, startled by the sudden contact.
It’s soft, white and black like you’d expect from a lemur. You gently run your fingers through her hair, caressing her scalp, cleaning out little flecks of dirt and pieces of vegetation.
It’s slow and deliberate. You are careful not to pull on any strands or hurt her by mistake.
Funny, a part of you thought it’d make you flustered or that maybe you would sexualize this sudden intimacy. But you don’t.
For once, you just feel genuinely concerned about someone and just wanted to take care of them for a while.
Remu shakes a little, then relaxes, almost melting on the floor. The tesion evaporates from her body.
“Thanks Dough,” she whispers. “It’s just that… I don’t remember much about home.”
She turns around, facing you finally. “We fled all the way here, but I was the only one who made it, that’s when the elder adopted me.”
“All I remember from before that is fire — and blood, so much blood,” her voice trembles.
“When I try to recall more I just shut off,” she sobs between words. Tears returning with a vengeance.
“I swear I tried to remember for you…”
Before she can say any more you pull her into a hug. She doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around you right back.

>>6246932
“I plan on exploring this world, no doubt someday we’ll go to Lemuria. Maybe we can figure out what happened there, help you resolve your past.”
You feel her arms tighten around you.
“But until then *don’t* hurt yourself like that just to please someone. Not me, nor anyone else. I don’t want to see you like this ever again…”
-
It took a while for her to regain her composure.
Sure, she looks like a mess, but she smiles from ear to ear now. Perhaps this is the first genuine warmth she’s felt in quite a while.
“That was surprising,” says the goddess. “You handled it better than I expected.”
Seems like you’re not the only one who thinks this went well.
>Pick one or more
>A) Ask the goddess about T.J. and the demon. Something is amiss, and you want to know more.
>B) Ask the goddess about the whole thing with Lemuria. Risky since Remu is still here, but maybe she can tell you something useful.
>C) Ask the goddess if she has any tips, or if she’d recommend a path to find the next gorilla. There’s 99 of them, if you run into the wrong one you might die on the spot.
>D) Remu opened up, so maybe you can be honest with her. About the mission, the goddess, everything.
>E) Write-in

>>6246933
>A) Ask the goddess about T.J. and the demon. Something is amiss, and you want to know more.

>>6246933
>A) Ask the goddess about T.J. and the demon. Something is amiss, and you want to know more.
We can do our own intel on the gorillas, but this demon is something new.

>>6246933
>A) Ask the goddess about T.J. and the demon. Something is amiss, and you want to know more.

>Let me guess he succeeded or someone else did since I found another human corpse. You send random humans here since you can't directly effect the realm.
And now I'm your quote on quote newest champion. Killing evil so what reward do I get for killing gorillas? Can I get information on items? Knowledge unlocking skills? How much help can you give me? I don't expect handouts yet wish to be correctly compensated for my actions.

>>6246933
>A) Ask the goddess about T.J. and the demon. Something is amiss, and you want to know more.
"J.T made an army of magically powered gorillas to kill the demon lord didnt he and you've been throwing "heroes" at the problem to try and fix it you dumb retarded super bitch? This is all your fault and you want me to go doom slayer on an entire race of magically enhanced yakubian apes because you cant get off your fat ass to sort this out yourself."

>>6246933
>A

Also bring it up
>>6233863 (OP)
>“You said, and I quote ‘I could take the gorilla solo.’ Well, here’s your chance, hero. Prove it to this one goddess,” she said, the poison dripped from her words.

THE gorilla. Singular. We proved it. We beat the one. How come we gotta beat 99 more? It's outrageous and unfair.

>>6247120
>solo
We missed a detail there.

>>6246933
>>6247120 +1. I just caught up on the quest, and it's great, hilarious fun so far. Thank you for running, QM. Keep it up!

>>6247124
True, but we should still only have to solo one, right??

>>6247124
FUCK

>>6246933
“So, about T.J, let me guess — he succeeded, perhaps with an army of magical gorillas, killing that demon king. Then his little army became a problem by itself, and you’ve been throwing other humans at it ever since.”
“Well, no, *J.T.* killed the *Demon Lord* and then he cheated— oh you slick piece of shit. You almost got me.”
“Oh, you’re implying I tried to misdirect you or something?” You glance off to the side towards some nonexistent camera, pulling your best impression of Jim Halpert.
You sit on the cot, ignoring Remu’s intrigued glances at you. “Anyway, I don’t see why we can’t be fully honest with each other. I’m your newest champion, and I’m clearly better than that guy who died in the woods.”
She clicks her tongue.
Slowly a spectral form appears before you. One that doesn’t look very different from the other ape-like female inhabitants of this world. Except for her regal oriental outfit and the divine glow around her, that is.
“Yes, or the girl that got captured by the gorillas,” she mumbles. “Look, kid, I don’t trust you humans. I don’t particularly like you either.”
“Fine by me, I don’t like you either,” you say with a nonchalant, almost dismissive shrug.
She halts, almost taken aback by your frankness.
“Okay. Here’s the deal, you might have guessed already but I can’t act on this world directly.”
With a flick of her wrist, she conjures the image of some glowing tree-like structure, glowing dots all over.
With another movement, the projection starts zooming in, the glowing dots turn into tiny universes. Galaxies. Star systems. And then worlds.
“We can only fully act upon a world once we’ve fully claimed it. Until then, it’s these proxy wars over realities. This one doesn’t have an owner, yet.”
She conjures another image. A pristine blue and green sphere, familiar continents. Earth.
“Earth for instance is controlled by… someone no one wants to mess with. The most we can do there is nab a few ‘stray’ souls headed to—”
It feels like another word will come out of her mouth, but then she just lets out a long, dramatic sigh. Yeah, definitely not ominous.

>>6247363
“Anyway. Your last ‘successful’ predecessor did screw things up, more or less as you guessed. Gorillas are his fault. Now, don’t get me wrong, he was highly competent, you can trust the stuff he wrote down in that book.”
“Mostly,” she adds hurriedly.
“Wow. Thanks for the lore dump. By the way, how come I have to beat another 99 gorillas; I only shitposted about soloing *one*!”
“Did… Didn’t you read the mission name when you first got here?”
Just then, Remu scoots over. She carries with her a large ceramic a bowl full of cooked meat, assorted fruits and some vegetables, all swamped in some kind of soupy goop. Yum.
When you glance back the goddess’ projection is already gone.
Damn.
Well, nothing you can do if she wants to be elusive.
You chow down t that homecooked meal like your life depends on it. Meanwhile, you risk a quick to check Remu’s affection, and surprise surprise, it’s at a B+. That plus sign is new.
Does it go all the way to S or something? It’s probably much easier to improve a low rather than a high rating.
As you finish time to…
>Pick one or more
>A) Go find the group, it’s about time we leave this place. Let’s head south, towards the other Gorilla we heard about. Sultan or something?
>B) Go find Jerb, it’s about time we leave this place. Let’s head to (write-in)
>C You still want to read the section on magic first! Almost forgot about that.
>D) You still have something *else* to do around the village. You will (write-in)
>E) Write-in?

>>6247363
>The most we can do there is nab a few ‘stray’ souls headed to—”
Damn, we was DAMNED. Maybe this goddess isn't so bad after all.
>>6247364
>C You still want to read the section on magic first! Almost forgot about that.
We'll need to get moving soon, but we're in no hurry.

>>6247364
>C You still want to read the section on magic first! Almost forgot about that.

>>6247364
>C You still want to read the section on magic first! Almost forgot about that.

>>6247364
>C You still want to read the section on magic first! Almost forgot about that.
>"Thank you for the meal Remu"
>Cheated huh I assume you screwed him over somehow. And he screwed you out of claiming the world. No doubt, these 100 gorillas are a seal on the planet, stopping you from claiming the world.
So what's the promise of you not screwing me over after I deal with 100 gorillas. At that point you'd have complete control over the world. What's the reward for all my effort?

>>6247364
>“Did… Didn’t you read the mission name when you first got here?”
We read it, we just think it's cruel and unfair
We disagree with the grounds of its assignment to us

At least Remu doesn't mind us talking to thin air.

>C You still want to read the section on magic first! Almost forgot about that.

>>6247417
>What's the reward for all my effort?
Well we just found out she can't send us back to Earth
Maybe she'll give us internet and let us return to our shitposting ways

>>6247692
>At least Remu doesn't mind us talking to thin air.
We're still an unusually nice (if effeminate-looking and/or deformed from her perspective) male who has seemingly publicly declared her to be our mate and thus off-limits for rapine. We're, sadly, the best thing to ever happen to her, even if we are crazy.

>>6247363
well shout out to the Big JC for sharing off the isekai gods and goddesses from waging proxy wars for earth
>>6247417
+1 Remu is best girl we should ask her about the girl behind J.T we saw in his writings maybe her mom or something

>>6247364
(NOTE: I took my sweet time getting to the point and I realize it might be a bit slower paced rn so feedback is always appreciated)
“Thanks, Remu,” the words come out a bit too loud, awkward, and entirely genuine.
She smiles and reaches out, arm outstretched towards you. The girl stops herself halfway, exhales sharply and then with a sudden burst of confidence closes the distance and aggressively ruffles your hair.
You can’t help but chuckle in response.
It’s likely that she just doesn’t have much better options. You’re positively soft compared to all the other males she’s ever met, and yet, you’re powerful enough to claim and protect her.
But the same goes for you. It’s not like you’ve ever had someone care for you like this. Dysfunctional family and an awful school life, a life bereft of meaningful positive social contact. A true loser.
Regardless, you’ve got each other now, and it's nice.
“Well, I’m going back to reading, so…” you say, book in hand, settling with your back against the hut’s wall.
“Do you mind if I stay here?”, she asks, somewhere between coy and honestly wanting to respect your space.
“Nah, I’d enjoy your company.” With that response, she settles next to you.
You spend a couple of hours reading the book. She eventually asks what is so interesting about it, so you take the time to explain it to her.
Magic, at last. The nerd in you is salivating at the thought. It is quite mysterious even to J.T., or at least it was at the point when he wrote this section of the book.
There is an entire unseen world of patterns and meaning that exists overlaid on top of the material world.
Becoming any type of caster involves three distinct capabilities.
The first is Sensation, it lets you perceive this layer of magic as well as direct your own magical reserves. To normal people without the ability to feeling magic, this whole thing is completely useless.
He continues to explain that you’re either born with that, or you acquire it from an entity with a pact. Infernal, fae, celestial, any being that doesn’t dwell entirely in the material can grant it to you — though for some reason it can never be given freely.
He does say it’s possible to *steal* it from someone else. Whatever that means he doesn’t go into any detail.
The second capability is Understanding. He uses a simple math formula as an example. One either gets it or doesn’t. If they don’t, they can’t use the spell.
This means you may need to spend a long time experiencing the natural world, someone else’s magic or experimenting with a spell before you can truly use it.
Really, just grinding spell XP. Damn it, why is there so much grinding in this world? Then again, the system makes it all so much easier.

>>6248260
The third and final capability is Replication. His explanation is a bit too vague, but it seems that once you’ve understood the spell, you just turn it into a related pattern that can be fueled by magic and then imposed on the world.
That can be done through chanting, dancing, gestures, drawings, a magical artifact like a staff, and many other ways.
So if you get that Sensing stuff you should at least be able to cast whatever fire spells it has right out of the gate.
That’s great and all but…
“This is way too generic!” You snap. Remu mumbles something in response before snuggling closer to you. She probably fell asleep around the first hour.
“Oh crap. Sorry…” still, can’t leave her to sleep like this. Even if it feels kinda nice.
-
You lie on the pelt, stretched over the floor. Remu took the cot for herself at your request, it wouldn’t do to let her sleep on the floor. It’s time for sleep, but some thoughts still nag at your mind, so you take one final glance at the objective the shitty goddess imposed on you.
“How can you do this… This is outrageous. It’s unfair,” you mutter, checking the quest tab again. To defeat 100 Gorillas — 99 now. That’s just so many damn apes.
And the reward? As far as you gleaned off that conversation it’ll be a big old sack of nothing. Even though it was subtle, it seemed like she hinted at you being a soul condemned to hell, or at least some sort of awful afterlife.
That, added to the fact it’s likely she can’t even send you back to Earth, and this whole mission seems like shit-detail for the damned.
Upon finishing that thought, the mission log within the system UI updates with an extra line of info.
>Reward: One wish — a note below that reads “Think things like immortality or some cheat ability. I have veto power, you whiny little shit, so don’t come asking for godhood!”
Took her long enough to add that in. “Ah, well. Why didn’t you say so from the start?”
She doesn’t reply.
You soon drift off to sleep. Though the following day you…
>A) Prep the group and set off. Sultan was your last lead on a Gorilla and you might as well see about that human Pimp mentioned.
>B) Prep the group and set off somewhere else… (Write-in)
>C) Ask around, see if anyone knows anything about the woman in J.T’s photo.
>D) Try to check in with the goddess again, maybe she can get you a deal on that magical Sensing stuff.
>E) Write-in

>>6248261
>Good I can put effort in. How about hooking your champion up with a pact for magic? Make things easier.
>A) Prep the group and set off. Sultan was your last lead on a Gorilla and you might as well see about that human Pimp mentioned.
>"Let me ask you all if your happy living here. Those that are can stay those that want a better life follow me. You may ask but my life is pretty good here! Is it? I see no wall to protect you from predators, no plumbing so you can take a shit on a porsolion throne and wipe your ass with high quality paper. No soft bread you can eat at your convenience. Come with me and let's make a world worth living in."
>Then ask each person who joins there skills and talents.

>>6248261
>I have veto power, you whiny little shit, so don’t come asking for godhood!
So she could hypothetically, raise us to be a fellow god? I didn't think she'd be capable of that even if she was willing.

>D
What better celestial to get this from than a literal goddess?

>>6248261
>D: "hey so about you saving my soul from hell to further your influence on this planet...is that common enough that i have to worry about some other god sending a rival isekai i have to kill before i finish with these 100 gorillas or no..."

>>6248261
>D) Try to check in with the goddess again, maybe she can get you a deal on that magical Sensing stuff.

>>6248261
>C) Ask around, see if anyone knows anything about the woman in J.T’s photo.
>D) Try to check in with the goddess again, maybe she can get you a deal on that magical Sensing stuff.
Let's get our bearings and prepare before we charge off half-cocked. Maybe also ask...
>What do our new ape friends know about Sultan

>>6248261
You crawl out of your makeshift futon and sneak towards the fire staff. Making too much noise will probably wake Remu up, and you don’t really want her to listen to this conversation — even if she can only hear one side of it.
The intricately carved metal staff is lighter than it looks. Whatever magic it’s been prepared to cast, it does look like you’d expect a fire staff to. But of course, to you it’s entirely inert, and without the ability to sense magic, it might as well be a movie prop.
“Hey, goddess. Any chance we can make a deal? I’m not exactly a physical powerhouse, which means magic is probably my best choice when it comes to leveling the playing field.”
Her incorporeal sigh sounds out in your head like an extremely uncomfortable divine ASMR. “You read that stuff in the fat guy’s book huh? Indeed, I can grant you that ability. For a price.”
“First of all, can you be more careful when you emote inside my head?” For once, the goddess chuckles, then pretends it was a cough. Which leads to her having a coughing fit.
“Wow,” you let out, deadpan. You are starting to realize she may be kind of a loser. In whatever godly hierarchy must exist, there’s no way she’s highly regarded.
“Second of all, what sort of price are we talking?” you continue after she recovers from her momentary embarrassment.
“It depends. An eye, infertility, a hand, a curse to not walk under the sun. Most entities in this world ask for something that personally interests them — say, a demon might ask for whatever they believe will cause you or others the most amount of suffering.”
“Now that’s a cheerful thought.”
The goddess materializes once more. She grins smugly and spreads her arms wide, as if she’s making some grand announcement. “Since I’m a kind and fair goddess all I require is that you obey this world’s rules and pay an adequate compensation.”
“Right so, can you be a bit more specific?”
“Sure. How about I give you some options…”
>Pick one
>A) Nah, I’mma do my own thing.
>B) Your left hand.
>C) Your left eye.
>D) Your left foot.
>E) Your freedom.
>F) Write-in (counterproposal)
“Now hold on a fucking second. My freedom?”
“Yes, Dough. It’s something I thought of. As you are now, you still have free will. I won’t fully take that away, but if you offer me your freedom I will only constrain it so you don’t try anything funny down the line.”
Right. Something funny like whatever J.T did. Smooth, goddess-sama.

>>6248785
>F)
it pains me to say this
but lets offer up the pimp hat

>>6248785
>F One year of my lifespan.
(If we become immortal from the wish this won't matter.)

>>6248796
+1

>>6248785
>A) Nah, I’mma do my own thing.
We can find a different patron, preferably one that won’t scheme behind our backs.
That or we could find out what stealing means.

>>6248785
>E
Sure fuck it why not
Give her peace of mind

>>6248785
>C) Your left eye.
We monke Odin now.

>>6248785
The pain is immense, but I agree with >>6248788. That pimp hat is the most precious thing we own. Life without it will never be the same, but magic is... magic.

>>6248785
>F infertility
surely we're not planning on having any sperg half-chimp kids, while we're in some limbo-soul place

>>6248828
>>6248904
>>6248822
>>6248812
>>6248804
>>6248803
>>6248796
>>6248788
Seems like there's no clear winner, but I won't update tonight.
Given the context, if it's still like this tomorrow I'm thinking I'll go with "Nah I'mma do my own thing - for now" and give you guys the chance to commit or not at a later date.

>>6249219
Oh, alternatively tiebreaker vote between Lifespan and Pimp Hat offer

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>6248785
Fertility

>>6249220
Well if I can tie breaker I would say pimp hat instead of fertility

>>6249220
>Pimp hat
giving up that sweet piece of pimp gear lowers our chances of having sex anyways

>>6249219
i just think giving up a hat we just found (even though it is funny) wouldn't be a sufficient sacrifice for magic capability. narratively speaking. at worst the goddess will just laugh and then we can try again in the future (or it leads into us looking for a different patron).

but to move things along I can go with the pimp hat.

>>6249269
My reasoning is that Dough finding the pimp hat as important as his freedom and the goddess refusing the offer would be funny.

We could offer up our virginity

>>6249220
Between the option that is blatantly trying to cheese her and the option where we suggest giving up something trivial, I'd rather just go with A.

>>6249220
I do find the pimp hat thing funny, so since nobody wants to be a baller ape Odin, I'll do that.

>>6249284
Smart.

>>6248785
(Shitposting auto-success https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQx5EVQRKnM)
“I…” you croak out, but the sounds stretch and die in your throat.
The faint sound of raindrops over dry reeds and mud slowly comes to the forefront as the silence settles between you and the goddess. The hut’s already dark interior — lit only by small slits carved high into the structure’s walls — seems to be swallowed by an incoming darkness.
You deliberately slow your breathing. It’s not labored, simply more deliberate and paced, like you’re trying to calm your nerves. Your jaw tightens; you clutch the staff with every ounce of strength.
She tenses. Shoulders visibly pulling inwards as if to make herself smaller. The goddess crosses her arms, not impatient, simply guarded.
Both of you look away, refusing to meet each other’s gaze. Nary a minute passed, and yet it feels like an eternity of unspoken words.
Her lips split. She wants to say something, perhaps words of comfort. It could be that despite being a goddess, unable to truly grasp what it means to be mortal, she understands the seriousness of the moment.
To sacrifice something that’s a part of you for power shouldn’t be a decision anyone takes lightly. “Goddess, what you’re asking of me is rather—” you glance down at your hands, fingers white, taut against the metal.
Teeth grit against each other adding the off-putting sound of enamel scraping against itself to the already somber atmosphere.
You force a few tears out through sheer willpower and tactical reminiscing of childhood memories. She chances a glance at you and her breath catches. Her projection flickers.
“It’s harsh. But I’ll do it, I’ll give you something that truly matters to me.”
Slowly but resolute, you walk towards the bed. To Remu. The goddess’ eyes widen.
You reach down, brushing your hands lightly against Remu’s cheeks. And right past her. From below you pull out something soft, purple, feathery, and straight pimping.
“My hat.”
Wearing an exaggerated grimace, you offer the pimp hat to the goddess.

>>6249444
The tension isn’t really shattered as much as it’s ‘giga-drill broken’.
As much as her previous softness was uncharacteristic for the goddess, the guffaw that comes after is even more so.
She laughs ugly, chortling like a piggy. Her image and sound cut off again, for longer this time.
“Wow. That was… It was actually pretty funny. Have you considered being an actor?” just her voice this time, collected and cool again, though with a hint of amusement.
“But no. You can’t trade your hat for magic. I’ll say, I was fully expecting you to say offer something such as your ability to fell love or all your fondest memories. And then you hit me with that punchline, oh dear." Then her voice dwindles down to a whisper "Maybe you're not the worst mortal around.”
“Right, it was worth a shot. Well, I guess I’ll wait for a bit longer then.”
With a shrug you sit down next to the cot, Remu still asleep at your side.
“Maybe I’ll figure out what stealing means or find another patron, but I’ll give you a call if I change my mind.”
You scratch your chin, grinning like a dumbass as another idea strikes you. Brilliant. “Hey wait, any chance you can take my virginity then?”
Silence. Seems she cut off the line again.
“No.”
And with that she’s gone.
“W-what?” the tiny voice comes from your left. Remu.
Your head rotates slowly, grinding, like a gear that hasn’t been oiled in millennia.
Remu’s awake.
>Pick one or more
>A) It was acting! You love acting, you were just reenacting a play. She knows what those are, right?
>B) Be truthful, explain that you can talk to a goddess and you were trying to make a deal. Say it was just a joke.
>C) Lean into it, flirt even if you probably suck at it.
>D) Don’t say anything. Just pack your stuff and get ready to leave.
>E) Write-in?

>>6249445
>>B) Be truthful, explain that you can talk to a goddess and you were trying to make a deal. Say it was just a joke.
She's seen plenty we can let her in on some of what we have going on.

>>6249445
>C
YOU MISS EVERY SHOT YOU DONT TAKE

>>6249445
>B) Be truthful, explain that you can talk to a goddess and you were trying to make a deal. Say it was just a joke.
We'll have the best odds if we can get our affection up to A or so. Besides that, I like Remu, and trying to bang her this early would be cheap.

>>6249445
>B) Be truthful, explain that you can talk to a goddess and you were trying to make a deal. Say it was just a joke.

>>6249445
>C) Lean into it, flirt even if you probably suck at it.
The tension's not going to be the only thing that gets broken by our giga-drill, if you know what I mean!

I-if she's into that.

B takes it, updating tomorrow

>>6250190
Thanks for the heads up!

>>6249445
Remu’s cheeks are flushed — just like in your Chinese cartoons. She stammers something out before curling up into a ball. Her eyes turn elsewhere, unable to meet your gaze. At least you’re not the only one who’s socially awkward.
Then again, this might well be a reasonable response to what she heard. So, of course you need to clarify the situation. It wouldn’t be right to try and pass it off as an actual request, right?
“It’s not what you think!”
To your own surprise, you don’t get flustered, nor do you freeze. Instead, you manage to speak up loud and clear. Maybe you’ve been hanging out with Remu for long enough that you just don’t feel particularly awkward around her.
“It was… a joke.”
Her eyes flick back to you for a moment before moving back to the floor. Then the ceiling. Towards anything but you, really. But if her lemur ear perked your way is any indication, she’s still attentively listening.
“Not aimed towards you, I would never do something like that.”
You take a deep breath. The real challenge is whether she believes what comes next.
“You’ve noticed I talk to myself a lot, right? Might sound crazy, but I’m actually talking to someone. A goddess.” You let the words hang.
That finally draws her eyes back to you. She’s watching you intently now. Her jaw drops just a little, lips parted. Like she’s either surprised, about to say something, or possibly both.
“I’m sure you’ve realized I’m different from everyone here. I’m a male, but I look closer to the females; or like a naked, deformed chimp.”
That gets a chuckle out of her.
“That’s not true, I think you’re kind of cute…” she mutters under her breath.
“I—” your brain shuts down for a second. You just don’t have the bandwidth do deal with that compliment, so you archive it into the *things that confuse Dough* pile and move on with your exposition.
“— came from a different world, brought here by that goddess. I’m not an ape, I’m human. You might have even overheard Pimp call me that.”
“That makes sense, I think” she replies, turning back to you. “But why did you ask her to take your virginity?” Her brows furrow, judgmental. Or perhaps a bit jealous.

>>6250634
“That was just a joke! I was haggling to try and get magic powers out of her, since they’ll come in handy for my mission.”
Right, the mission. Might as well go the whole nine yards and give her the complete infodump.
“Said mission being to kill 100 evil gorillas. Pimp was the first on my list.”
“You have a really weird sense of humor, but I’m getting used to it,” she sighs. “So, you’re some kind of hero sent here to help us apes, is that it? That sounds just like you.”
She gets up from the cot, face no longer flushed and instead wearing a rather shy smile.
“Thanks for trusting me, Boss.”
You don’t bother to check the affection ratings just yet. This is such a nice moment that doing something so gamey would just ruin it.
“I could say the same thing, Remu.”
With that out of the way, it’s time to get this show on the road. Which means…
>Pick one or *more*
>Roll d20 best of three
>A) Grab the duo and set off on your journey (South where sultan is, or elsewhere?)
>B) Grab the whole troop and set off on your journey (South where sultan is, or elsewhere?)
>C) Ask around see if there’s any more clues to what might lie elsewhere.
>F) Write-in

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>6250635
>C) Ask around see if there’s any more clues to what might lie elsewhere.
We’re in no rush, right? Might as well check everything off in one location before moving to the next.

>>6250635
>B) Grab the whole troop and set off on your journey (South where sultan is, or elsewhere?)
Head south, pretend to be a messenger of the pimp, claiming he beat some other troops and now has loads of slaves he wants to sell, all in order to get a meeting with the sultan.

>>6250635
>F) Ask our new ape friends about Sultan, and about the woman in J.T’s photo.

>>6250635
>>C) Ask around see if there’s any more clues to what might lie elsewhere.
>>F) Write-in
Find out who wants to come with you kill more gorillas and who wants to just chill here in the village. Might be better to disclose that anyone who comes South with you is going to have to fight and stuff. Maybe ask Remu to do that for you?

>>6250635
(short one today)
-
There really is no rush; the mission doesn’t come with a timer and this little village is isolated enough that it’s a haven for you to rest and plan your next move.
You go around the tiny village, Remu in tow. The huts and the apes are starting to feel familiar. At first everything looked indistinguishable, especially given the concentric layout and the scattered, disorderly positioning of the huts.
Now you notice small details like a feather hung by the door, or a set of scratches on the mud marking a certain hut, which help distinguish to whom they belong. It’s also become easier to distinguish the male chimps from each other.
The first order of business is investigating your surroundings. That shouldn’t present any problems now that the apes trust you — well, somewhat trust you.
They aren’t skittish enough to outright avoid you at the very least, and they’re vocally grateful for what you’ve done so far. Having Remu accompany you also eases any lingering tension and doubt about you.
You pace around the village, checking in on everyone, asking about their daily chores and life around the village. As you go, you make sure to sprinkle the occasional question as to what they know of the areas surrounding their settlement.
You’re even feeling frisky enough to prod them about Sultan.
Nothing particularly exciting comes from these conversations, though you get a general idea of what the troop members believe about the world beyond their humble home.
North and east you’ll just go deeper into the jungle. No telling where it ends, nobody knows it seems. Though there are whispers of spirits and stone-faced devils standing guard over a cursed land. Statues? Some sort of abandoned structure perhaps?
Heading west you’ll hit the coast eventually. The same elderly ape you met previously reports that long ago she had trekked there.
It was foggy back then, but she says there were little lights that danced around on the waters, and some that stood still. It sounds like it could be boats, but you can’t be sure from just that anecdote.
Finally, if you go south you’ll need to hike over some hills and faults, an area where vegetation dies off and jungle gives way to desert. Eventually you’ll find a large merchant settlement. It seems there were irregular visits from envoys from that area, but they only spoke to the previous Boss.
Time to…
>A) Go North
>B) Go West
>C) Go South
>D) Write-in

>>6251672
>D
Go East
I'm ready for some cursed land

>>6251676
+1

>>6251676
+1

>>6251672
>C) Go South

>>6251672
The trio is gathered inside your new hut.
Jerb is sitting on the floor, a small ceramic pot in hand. When he arrived it was filled with what you presume to be an assortment of animal eyes. Now it has depleted, since he has been eagerly devouring the off-putting snacks.
Remu on the other hand is sitting on the cot, her mouth curled in disgust. You can tell she’s trying not to look at the unusual feast happening beside her; though her morbid curiosity is clearly getting the better of her, as she risks a glance at Jerb every now and then.
They’re waiting for you to decide the next steps for your little group. You don’t bother asking for opinions or investigating further. Deliberating in your own head is good enough.
Of course, you could take the easy path. Going south would be simpler; it would also be boring. And sandy.
Coast could pose some difficulties. First and foremost, you don’t know how to build boats, so it’s likely you’d just get there and then… what? Watch the lights from afar? Second. It’s sandy.
Decrepit ruins in the middle of the jungle? Hell yeah.
Place is probably cursed — though given that this is a fantasy world the possibilities regarding its true nature are endless. Nobody even knows what lies beyond, or how far the jungle extends. All that just entices you to go explore it.
Plus, there’s no sand.
“I hate sand,” you mutter to your allies. They don’t even bother feigning surprise at your sudden non-sequitur.
“I actually forgot how the rest of the quote goes and without internet there’s no way to look it up so — long story short, I know there’s a gorilla down south but I don’t feel like venturing into the desert. Nor do I want to waste time on a beach episode.”
You get up start gathering your things. Not that you have many belongings, but you make sure to take your axe and the staff. “We’re heading east, deeper into the jungle. Grab your stuff and let’s go as soon as possible.”
“Yes Boss,” says Remu. She seems in a rush to get started. Or, it’s more likely that she just can’t stand to watch Jerb suckling on eyes for another second.
Jerb on the other hand nods and heads out at a leisurely pace.

>>6252474
-
You trudge alongside Remu, deep within the jungle. Jerb trails behind, swinging a sword and striking down foliage, like a toddler with a shiny new toy.
The group left soon after you made up your mind. Of course, you reassured everyone that you’d return shortly, and left the decision making to No-No and whoever else she deemed trustworthy — at least until you made it back.
It’s been three days. You’ve slept huddled together, covered in pelts and near a campfire which you had plenty of trouble lighting up, though you’re getting better.
You’re no biology expert, but even after so few days walking east the flora and fauna are starting to heavily differ from what you saw in the areas surrounding the village.
The larger and uglier insects are easy to spot. Centipedes the size of an arm. A beetle-looking bug walking on its hind legs. Mosquitoes are still the same, however.
The plants are more diverse in color. Some plants look to be tinged in blue and purple. Others have tiny tendrils, or maybe tentacles, that move around and catch bugs that fly nearby.
Another strange thing is the dirt. It looks like regular dirt, dark brown and damp, but while taking a dump you noticed there’s a bunch of small, pitch-black grains sprinkled all over. You’re 100% sure that there was no such thing back near the village.
Something is weird about this place, and you haven’t even found the stone-faced devils you heard of.
You hear a crashing noise, derailing your thoughts. It resembled something hitting bark, hard enough to splinter it. It’s far enough away that you could easily circumvent it, but it might be worth it to take a look.
>A) Nah, keep going. Not worth it.
>B) Take a peek, try to sneak towards the noise.
>C) Send Remu to scout, she’s the thief-slash-whore class.
>D) Write-in

>>6252475
>B) Take a peek, try to sneak towards the noise.

>>6252474
>I actually forgot how the rest of the quote goes and without internet there’s no way to look it up so —
Kek. Was already thinking of it before I got to that point.

>>6252475
>B) Take a peek, try to sneak towards the noise.
Remu can come with, though.

I hope these ruins have magic loot, personally, or something we can form a pact with in lieu of our goddess "friend."

>>6252475
>B
Pretty easy to sneak in a jungle

>>6252619
>>6252573
>>6252489
Woke up and realized I forgot to tell you to roll, the usual

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>6252474
>>6252475

>B) Take a peek, try to sneak towards the noise.

Gotta get that scouting XP somehow.

>>6252793

Fuck.

Anyway, I have caught up to this quest yesterday. Was a very fun read, can't wait to see where it goes. Very good work, Mr. 「Gorilla」 , I applaud your effort.

Why is the spacing around those weird symbols around your name so fucked?

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6252755
No worries boss

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>6252755
On it! I'm >>6252573

>>6252794
Thanks! And it's just how japanese quotes work, I suppose.

>>6252489
>>6252573
>>6252619
>>6252793
>B
>rolled 18
I'm having some scheduling issues due to my job this week but I should update tomorrow.

>>6253426
See you then, QM!

>>6252475
It’s hard to pinpoint the exact source of the noise, but you might as well just sneak towards its general vicinity. Of course, given that stealth isn’t a skill equally distributed among your party members, it pays to be careful about how to best approach this.
“Jerb, stay further back. Don’t make a sound or the forest spirits will curse you to never eat meat again,” you whisper to the chimp, trying to keep your voice low enough that it meshes with the others sounds present in the wild.
Jerb’s eyes widen, and his response is merely a series of quick, almost frantic nods. He doesn’t make a sound and waits for you and Remu to take point.
As you lead through the jungle, you try your best not to brush on the foliage or hit anything with your feet. Since you’re relatively unskilled, you take your time.
Remu moves slightly faster, deftly avoiding any obstacles like she’s dancing through the jungle. It would probably pay off to level her Thief class.
As you approach, you focus on any sounds that stand out. While you don’t hear any more crashing noises, you do notice an unusual sound. Something brushing or being dragged along the dirt. Low enough that you’d guess it’d come from a small animal, but loud enough that you’d expect it to come from something much heavier.
The first clue you spot is a damaged tree. Its trunk slightly bent, a fracture running through the side like a lumberjack just quit after the first strike.
You stay low. No, you go lower as you get closer. There are no people around, doesn’t seem that way. Nor do you see any animals. Much less any monsters.
Remu is circling around, looking the same way as you. She glances back, both eyebrows raised, as if she’s slightly surprised to be met with absolutely nothing.
You step forward just a bit further, but you halt almost immediately. There’s something on the ground.
It’s got a stony texture. Some sort of statue, or rather a small stone idol of a winged, horned, and fairly misshapen little… creature. It’s ugly enough that you’d expect it to be a prop for some crappy B-movie knockoff of Indiana Jones; or it could fit right into some rich guy’s “art” collection.
One of the statue’s wings is bent the wrong way, like it’s broken, but it seems it was designed that way since there aren’t any cracks along the surface.
>Roll d20 best of three
>Pick one or more (if appropriate)
>A) Pick up the little statue and examine it closer.
>B) Wait and watch, maybe whatever caused the noise is still around.
>C) Tell Jerb to hit it with his sword.
>D) Write-in

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>6253835
>D) Throw a rock at it
This is my default response to suspicious objects in TTRPGs. It has NEVER had ANY negative consequences!

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>6253841
+1

>>6253835
>A) Pick up the little statue and examine it closer.

>>6253919
>>6253835
Oops, forgot my roll.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>6253919
>>6253920
>>6253835
I SAID, "Oops, forgot my roll."

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>6253835
>D
Try and bend that wing back into place
Poor guy

>>6253835
You stare at the idol for a second. It does look just like a regular statue; dark grey stone carved into the highly detailed and yet aesthetically unpleasant likeness of a winged monster.

Either this thing was flung onto that tree, denting it, or it’s actually some kind of weird monster disguising itself. Whatever the truth may be, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Especially when dealing with weird statues in the middle of a cursed jungle in another world.

“Huh, that’s a light novel title in itself”, you mutter low enough to be drowned out by the chirping of birds and chirring of bugs.

Ignoring your own deranged trail of thought you bend down, looking for a decently shaped rock to throw at the idol. It’s a bit hard to find a good one, perhaps because the soil here has faced sufficient erosion. Lots of clay, however. And those little black grains.

Your eyes linger on them. Now that you’re really paying attention, they seem rather odd — more so than you had previously thought.

It might be your mind playing tricks on you, but they seem to vibrate ever so slightly, close to once every second. You lay down your hand and the vibrations stop in a radius around it. You check the ones near your feet, and just as with your hand, there are no vibrations.

Groovy.

Not once did this behavior come to your attention in the past few days, so it might be something new. Yet, you have more pressing matters than living dirt.

You nab a rock from the floor and with one swift motion, you aim and throw at the stony idol.
It hits.

>Throwing Weapons +1 XP [1/5]

The statue whimpers, then it shrieks. Remu lets out a little yelp.

The statue rolls on its back and flaps its wings. It claws and bites the air, attempting a counterattack at its unseen assailant. After a moment of fruitless flailing, the thing snaps from one side to another trying to pinpoint where the threat went.

Its eyes lock onto your group.

“Jungle gargoyle,” you state, matter-of-factly. Even though you have no idea what it is.

Before you can utter another world, the gargoyle flings itself into the air with shocking speed. It arcs right at Remu, whom the monster misses as its trajectory destabilizes. A tiny could of dust erupts from the impact on the ground.

It seems the little fellow can’t fly straight anymore due to that broken wing. Yet, it promptly rises once more, this time throwing itself at your chimp companion. Thankfully Jerb hits it like he’s playing baseball with the flat of his sword. You should really explain to him how to use that weapon.

>>6255255
The creature falls on the ground, screaming like a pig about to be put to slaughter. Its stony skin is cracked but no blood pours out. Rather, an oily and dark substance seeps out slowly.

From somewhere off in the distance, you hear more screams echoing through the jungle. Louder, deeper. Then comes the flap of wings.

>Roll d20 best of three
>Pick one or more if appropriate
>A) Try to finish this thing quickly
>B) Use the Joestar secret technique (Run)
>C) Write-in

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>6255257
>A) Try to finish this thing quickly

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6255257
>B) Use the Joestar secret technique (Run)
There's about to be a lot more.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>6255257
>Grab him and Run

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>6255257
>B
yare yare

>>6255257
>B) Use the Joestar secret technique (Run)
just to move things along

>>6256362
I think the tie was already broken by >>6255318

>>6256413
Sssshhhh
Let him have this

>>6256413
>>6256362
Indeed, my bad, updates were delayed due to my job. Sadly I don't have a clear routine due to the unpredictable nature of my work, but I'll post later today. I still plan to update every day I'm not bogged down by it

>>6255257
The gargoyle thrashes on the ground, flipping from side to side. Cracks run through it skin like tiny fault lines on stone; a result of the previous attack by Jerb, and proof that its stony appearance is nothing but an aesthetic.

Crushing it wouldn’t be hard, especially not with all three of you ganging up on the downed monster. Yet, the notion of facing a horde of these beasts gives you pause. That and going by the noise they’re making it’d be reasonable to assume that some of them are much bigger than this little fellow.

Screams echo through the forest once more. Remu’s grip tightens around her bow. Her eyes rapidly flick between you and the woods, seemingly conflicted between eagerness to hear your next orders and dread at the prospect of more enemies.

With a tinge of disappointment to your voice, you speak up. “Let’s use the Fosaux family secret technique…” You place a hand on Remu’s shoulder, “RUN!”.

Without uttering another word, you pull her and bolt into the woods, heading in whatever direction appears to have the least gargoyle screams coming out of it. Moments later you see Jerb matching your pace, even though you had a head start.

For a while, the incoming horde gets louder, their flapping wings drowning out the other noises in the forest to the point where it sounds like you’re at a busy intersection.

You hear trees crashing down somewhere far behind you.

“What the fuck,” you mutter breathlessly without breaking your stride.
-

>>6256811
The trio blindly raced into the woods for minutes on end. At some point, you just picked a different direction and went with it. Not like any of you know this area well enough to pick a specific location anyway.

You slow down, gasping for air. The other two seem to be exhausted, chests heaving, Remu’s face drenched in sweat.

They’re still doing a lot better than you. Bolting at top speed for this long is an entirely new experience, and one you’d prefer not to repeat anytime soon. You don’t hear any more dangerous beasts coming your way, so you allow yourself to collapse on the muddy floor.

Remu sits next to you. “That was scary, what were those things? You called them—”
“Jungle Gargoyles. It’s just made up a name, but I think it fits.” You’d shrug if you had the strength to do so.

“I see. Hey… Dough, Jerb. What is that?”

You roll on your belly and look up, trying to see what the monkey girl is pointing at. A pile of rocks.

No, a structure. The rocks are unnaturally placed and balanced, no way it’s natural. And now that you stop and really look at it, the rocks are all covered by moss, but they’re the same pitch-black color as the little specks you found in the dirt. The ones that vibrate rhythmically.

Jerb moves ahead to inspect the structure. The chimp leans onto it and shakes his head happily at whatever he’s looking at.

“Hole!” he exclaims enthusiastically. It seems guys will be guys no matter what species they belong to.

Remu leaves your side to go inspect this new finding alongside Jerb.

“Anything inside?”

“Too dark to see, boss. Think we can go down, there’s…” he seems to pause as if he’s forgotten the proper word. “Stairs?” Remu interjects.

Damn. Interesting.

>Pick one or more (if they can be meshed together)
>d20 best of three
>A) Descend the stairs immediately!
>B) Manufacture some torches first, no way you’re going down there blind.
>C) Let’s make camp, maybe you can check that book by J.T, there could be something you missed that could help clear this up.
>D) Aw hell nah, this area is too weird. Fall back!
>E) Write-in

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>6256813
>B) Manufacture some torches first, no way you’re going down there blind.
>C) Let’s make camp, maybe you can check that book by J.T, there could be something you missed that could help clear this up.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6256818
seconded

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>6256818
thirded

>>6256892
Critfails don't override Bo3... Right?

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>6256813
>B
Explore first research second

>>6256893
Only if there's no other rolls >= 10

>>6256905
Seconding

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>6256811
>>6256813

>C) Let’s make camp, maybe you can check that book by J.T, there could be something you missed that could help clear this up.

>>6256813
>B) Manufacture some torches first, no way you’re going down there blind.
camp in the strange structure to hide from jungle gargoyles and get dreams of non-euclidean architecture (or at least find out who the rival gods of this world are)

QM?

Mister 「Gorilla」, are you there?

Curse you jungle gargoyles for taking our Gorilla QM from us!!!!

>>6256813
I apologize for the unannounced hiatus. I should’ve at least posted here to let you all know I’d be away for a while. I'd rather not go into detail regarding personal issues of course.
If there’s no engagement due to this dick move, it’s on me.
--
>Rolled 18
You get up and dust yourself off. As you approach the hole to inspect it, the duo part to let you through.
It is an ominous gaping maw that leads to unknown depths, so dark you can’t see anything past a few feet. As you had noted previously, the structure surrounding it is made of pitch-black stones, likely the same material as the seemingly magical dirt dotting the ground.
The stairs and walls within are also made of the same stuff, which is most likely the reason why it’s so hard to see anything inside it. It makes you wonder if it was purpose-built to ‘devour’ light.
“Oh yeah, I’m definitely not going in there blind,” you scoff. Perhaps if you had been granted massive amounts of plot armor and some inexplicably powerful cheat abilities you’d engage with such idiotic ideas.
Alas, you’re just an average joe with a weird class and slowly improving axe skills — oh, and not an ounce of magic to cast yet. With a sigh you step back.
“Let’s make some torches. I’ll defer to you on how to make them,” you say with a nod towards Remu. “Aftwards we’ll camp around here so I can catch up on some reading.”
“Got it boss! Thanks for trusting me.”
She asks Jerb to hunt some small animals nearby, for food but also to use their fat as fuel. Meanwhile she sets off to search for fibrous plants for the torch head.
And you? You get ‘stick-finding’ duty. That’s something you’re good at. Without another word, you go about finding the best damn sticks this jungle has to offer.

>>6263422
---
You had an easy time gathering materials and crafting, but you may have built way too many torches.
>Crafting +3 XP [0/7] 0  +1
Each of you gets three torches to carry in a bundle, plus one to have at hand. The group also spreads a few extras around camp, giving you ample illumination.
It just seemed better to err on the side of caution since they seem to burn rather fast. Not that you have much to compare them to, or that you know much about materials in this world.
Afterwards, all three of you work on setting up camp. A fire, some beds from bundled plants and pelts, nothing fancy. Once all the menial stuff is out of the way, everyone gets a bit of time to work on their own tasks.
Remu is practicing with her bow and arrow. She’s not exactly a trained archer, but given her classes it’s certain that she’ll figure it out. Eventually.
Squatting by the campfire, Jerb cooks the meat he hunted previously. Not doing it well, of course. He’s rather unskilled and it’s hard to convince a raw meat enthusiast that he should properly prepare meat for the group to consume.
You had to make some shit up about cursed spirits inhabiting the meat in this forest to make him acquiesce.
While they’re busy, you take the time to read J.T’s book once more. The intelligible section on fauna is a rather light read, and you comb it thoroughly for information regarding this area.
Sure enough, your predecessor trekked through these parts and while he didn’t make any notes about strange holes he had something to say about the creatures you encountered previously.
‘The goddess was reticent to share any intel, so I had to take matters into my own hands. Dissection proved a simple matter, but their internal workings are entirely alien. My best guess is that these things are not native to this world. They’re not even living organisms in the traditional sense. I haven’t found their creator, though I’m guessing it might be yet another extraplanar entity like the¬ one I found near the southern desert. Or like the goddess herself.’
Wow. Who would’ve guessed taking a detour from fighting apes would take you into eldritch horror territory. He doesn’t detail his dissections, moving on from that topic rather quickly.
You keep on reading. Up until the part where J.T. gave up on this area and decided to venture elsewhere he managed to encounter multiple types of constructs. The gargoyles you met earlier, yes, but also larger beings that resembled ogres, creepy little imps that turn invisible, and things that wear people’s faces. Literally. As in, constructs that resemble humanoid beings wearing the ripped-out skin from deceased faces as masks.
So wholesome. Still, he explained that the gargoyles and imps were rather easy foes, as long as you didn’t get blindsided or swarmed. The ogres were tougher, but could be taken down easily with flame spells — the liquid every single one of these constructs bleed being extremely flammable. Cool.

>>6263423
Now the skin-masks, from his account, were rather troublesome. Smart, move in groups, and are wield tools, primitive weapons. Thankfully they seem to be few in number, and stick to places near their own little villages. He did not go into detail regarding what constitutes a village, nor where they're placed.
While this is all interesting, it’s getting late. You eat some of the rather off-putting meat that Jerb prepared and lean back to rest. Remu and Jerb already having dozed off long ago.
You soon drift off to sleep.
This night, your dreams are empty. It’s not that you don’t dream, merely that your dreams are entirely empty, devoid of sound, sight. Just your own voice echoing in your own head. And something else listening in.
---
You wake up, not feeling refreshed at all. Your companions on the other hand look fine, perhaps a perk from avoiding any nightmarish readings before bed.
>Pick one or more, if compatible:
>A) Grab your stuff and venture into the hole, it might be what J.T. failed to find. (d20 best of 3)
>B) Try to track one of these gargoyles or imps, it might be good for you to level up, and you want to see their insides for yourself. (d20 best of 3)
>C) Ask the goddess straight up what’s going on.
>D) Nah, you know what? J.T. was right to leave this. Sure, he had different reasons, but you aren’t sticking around either.
>E) Write-in

>>6263425
>C) Ask the goddess straight up what’s going on.

>>6263425
>A) Grab your stuff and venture into the hole, it might be what J.T. failed to find. (d20 best of 3)
I ain't afraid of no monster

>>6263425
>A) Grab your stuff and venture into the hole, it might be what J.T. failed to find. (d20 best of 3)
I'm in. We need a power boost to beat the gorillas, and this place could provide us our edge, if we're lucky.

I'm very glad this quest is still going. Welcoem back, QM!

>>6263499
I don't think she'll tell us any more than she shared with JT.

>>6263422
>>6263423
>>6263425

>D) Nah, you know what? J.T. was right to leave this. Sure, he had different reasons, but you aren’t sticking around either.

I want to fight more monke, not some Indiana Jones typed templebusting.

>>6263499
>>6264100
>>6263833
Giving it one more day. Be sure to roll for option A.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>6263425
>>A) Grab your stuff and venture into the hole, it might be what J.T. failed to find. (d20 best of 3)

Someone shiuld archive this if it hasn't been yet. We're on Page 10.

>>6264615
GorillaQM, will you do the honours?

>>6264689
Done:
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2025/6233863/

Next update will be in a new thread

>>6263833
>>6263694
>>6264612
A it is, can I get two more d20?

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>6265198
am used to rollan after the vote is called

>>6265201
Actually, fair point, will go with that from now on.

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>6265198

>>6265207
>>6265201
>>6264612
...Oh no.

New thread. Mind you I managed to mix the order of posts somehow, so the first post in the thread is actually the second:
>>6265369