It’s just dark enough to be spooky, which makes it surprisingly bright given that there’s no light source in sight. Visibility is just good enough that you can spot some faded paint on the floor and walls.

Jerb wanders off, checking the other exits. Remu on the other hand sticks very close to you. Almost too close.

The two of you head for the center of the chamber. You examine the faded symbols hoping to spot anything useful. You’re trying and mostly succeeding to seem nonchalant about the cute girl clinging to your side, or the horror-movie ambiance.

Then—
[Perception Check Failed]

“Wh— Wait what?”

“Dough? Is something wrong?”

“I… I don’t know.”

That had never happened before. It doesn’t seem like a standard system feature. Could it be that the goddess decided to throw you a bone?

Jerb twists and stumbles your way. He winces and holds his shoulder as a trickle of blood pours out of it.

Oh shit, what the fuck? Wait, this seems like something you learned about…

>Pick one or combine multiple if applicable:
>A) Order the two to form up in the middle of the room, we can cover all sides.
>B) Turn around and slash the air, odds are you’ll hit nothing but it’d look REALLY cool if you did.
>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.
>D) []
>E) Write-in

>>62653
>I *SOMEHOW* managed to post the second part instead. Read this post first, it's out of order!

(Rolled 9)
You could barely get any rest the previous night. Of course, sleep won’t be getting any easier out here in the middle of a cursed jungle, so there’s no point in stalling your descent into the hole. The trio begins their preparations for the trip into the underworld.
---
Jerb is holding a sword and a torch as he paces around the squat structure. He doesn’t look particularly worried, yet it’s hard to say for sure. Understanding his facial expressions is a bit difficult at times, given that he’s a humanoid chimp with all that entails.
Remu is standing next to him, leaning down and holding out her torch into the hole, like she’s prodding the darkness with it. She squints and takes a small step forward, staying right at the edge of the stairs.
“See anything?”
“Nothing,” she sighs. “Though… something smells bad.”
“Sorry,” grunts Jerb.
“No, not you— just come closer. I don’t know how to describe it.”
Both of you approach it, and sure enough. The classic stench rotten egg stench. A cliché when you need something to smell positively demonic.
“Ah, it *was’t* like that before,” you note, voice coming out funny from pinching your nose.
Well, no time like the present to figure out just what the hell is going on down there. Sure, part of you would rather be doing something that directly leads to accomplishing your primary mission.
Then again, you’ve always been the sort of ‘player’ that finishes a bunch of side quests before even touching the main story.
Though you hope the party doesn’t run into those intelligent ape-skin masked constructs any time soon.
You gesture with your axe, pointing it down at the entrance.
“Let’s go, gang. Jerb, take point would ya?”
He does — after you explain what taking point is.
With the torches to light up the path, you can see that the walls inside are made of that same dark stone, but other than that there are no discernible features. No creepy drawings, no mysterious architectonic choices.
Just a bland dark tunnel and the echoing sound of four sets of footsteps.
---
The stairs just keep on going for way too long. It must have been ten minutes of just going down the stairs, and there’s still no end in sight. Not that you can see far ahead.
Really, you’re starting to feel like this is one of those scenes in anime where the studio gives up on the pretense that have a budget to work with, and they just repeat the same piece of shit frame over and over and—
“Woah,” exclaims your chimp companion. You quickly catch up, and likewise you’re stunned.
At the end of the stairway there’s an opening into a large round chamber. The ceiling is high enough that it’s out of sight. The room is also quite wide, with three other paths leading out from it.

>>6265369 (OP)
>A) Order the two to form up in the middle of the room, we can cover all sides.

>I *SOMEHOW* managed to post the second part instead. Read this post first, it's out of order!
It happens. No sweat.

>>6265369 (OP)
>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.
With three of us, it should be virtually impossible for something to sneak up on us.

>>6265369 (OP)
>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.
and to be fair we probably don't need to cover the exit up the stairs...

>>6265370
>>6265369 (OP)

>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.

>>6265369 (OP)
Supa say im fri fra frog

>>6265369 (OP)
>D

>>6265369 (OP)
im glad to see the quest survived
remember to protect the pimp hat
>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.
if nothing else we can use that time to see what our best options are for establishing a base camp

>>6265369 (OP)
>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.
I'm glad to see the quest endures, don't sweat the hiatus 「Gorilla」

>>6265422
>>6265555
>>6265571
>>6265829
>>6265858
C takes it!
Now:
>roll d20 best of three.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>6265934

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>6265934

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>6265934

>>6265950

We aren't trapped in here with them, they are trapped in here with us.

>>6265950
>>6265940
>>6265937
(Rolled 19+2 for AXE Combat)

Jerb reaches you, still grasping at his wound. You don’t have time to check it, so you leave that to Remu. Instead, you circle around, waving your axe and torch to at least ward off any potential follow-up attacks.

While the room is certainly well illuminated in comparison to the absolute darkness of the stairways, it’s by no means ‘bright’. You find yourself squinting by instinct to try and spot the enemy.

“These are claw marks,” said Remu. This implies they hit him at melee range, so they’re not firing some projectile from some elevated opening or one of the dark pathways out of the chamber.

There really isn’t a single hint as to where they might be; even better lighting probably wouldn’t be of much assistance.

But you think you hear something, despite the drumming of your own heartbeat. The sound of steps from up front, where nothing should be according to your lying eyes.

“Invisible?” you mutter. If that wasn’t enough you hear more footsteps echoing around the room.

Right, Imps. Like in J.T.’s book. This is problematic, though certainly not unsurmountable. While you can’t see them coming you can still limit their movement and the directions they can strike from.

“Head up the stairs!” You motion with your torch and let the others move ahead. The duo immediately comply with your command, rushing off.

While their backs are turned, steps echo behind them. The sneaky little fucks are trying to take another shot at your— friends? Minions?

Either way, you swing your axe wildly in the general direction of those sounds. You miss and swing again, a wide and low sweep like you’re trying to cut grass. This time you hit something.
It is small with a face somewhere between a baboon and a gray-skinned devil, and it dies not with a whimper but with a sickening pop and crack.

The imp’s diminutive skull collapses inward from the stone-axe’s impact, eyes leave their orbit and its black tongue flops out. Rather than blood, that same black ichor bursts out, like you just popped a water balloon filled with oil.

You yell, “HEADSHOT!”. Without sparing another thought, you hit it again, this time with your torch. It combusts in a showy flare, turning the corpse into a sizeable fire.

The black blood is highly flammable, so J.T.’s info was spot on about all these constructs.
>[1/?] piecemeal update, follow up tomorrow so you know I didn't just die

>>6266436
>>6266436
>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [10/11]
> Axe Combat +1 XP [1/9]

A shriek erupts from the ‘empty’ space near your party members. Despite his injury, Jerb promptly runs his sword through the invisible enemy, silencing its shrill cries in an eruption of black blood.

You run to catch up with them, but you stumble as a weight falls on your back. One of the little fucks leapt on top of you, grasping at your hair, its tiny claws stinging as they scratch at the back of your neck.

The torch falls from your hand, and you reach back. Luckily, you take hold of one of the Imp’s flailing limbs. It tries to bite, but your arm is already swinging. You smash the monster onto the floor, once, twice, thrice— turning it into a mess of broken, exposed bones.

For good measure, your foot stomps down on its chest, caving it and causing the pooling black blood to shower the torch. Sparks spew from it.

“Double Kill.”

>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [11/11] Lv. 4  5
>Unarmed Combat +1 [3/5]

Maybe it felt a little bad killing those chimps back then, but these monsters don’t elicit *any* feelings.

You pat the back of your neck and head. The scratches on your neck hurt, but that sneaky attack didn’t cause any noteworthy injuries.
The duo reaches the stairs, and a moment later, so do you. Here there’s only two avenues for the enemy to reach you, and even if they’re small there’s no way they can attack with more than two at a time.

Remu raises her bow and fires randomly. It bounces uselessly off the far wall.

More shrieks resound inside the chamber, and some from back up the stairs. While previously they were likely bidding their time, it seems now they’ve thrown that to the wayside, opting for an all-out assault.

That or more of these little fuckers heard the commotion and came in from the other exits. A bit shaky at the prospect of fighting a ton of invisible enemies, you try to steady your axe by holding it twohanded.

>>6267028
There’s a shimmer by the corpse pyre you lit earlier. Remu’s next arrow flies true this time, striking into an imp and revealing its full form, the arrow sticking out of its belly.
“Nice!”

It rushes your way, and Remu keeps firing. A miss and another hit, into its chest. Despite that, it keeps coming, stumbling like it doesn’t realize it’s dead already.

You make sure to ‘inform’ it with a forceful kick to the sternum once it’s close enough. The imp keels over and convulses on the ground.

You turn to see Remu struggling with an imp, it’s pinning her against the wall and trying to bite into her thighs.

Jerb yelps. He’s on the floor, bent awkwardly on the stairs. Next to him lies a dead imp, its belly slashed open with alien guts spilling out.

There’s no time to ponder the fact that its guts look both organic and machinelike, since on top of your chimp companion there’s an angry and very-much-alive imp, gnawing at his forearm.

And yet, there are more cries from within the chamber.
>Pick one
>A) Trust your mates to defend themselves, focus on the other imps
>B) Help Remu, she’s the weakest at melee
>C) Help Jerb, he’s already hurt and his position is precarious
>D) Write-in

>>6267029
>C) Help Jerb, he’s already hurt and his position is precarious
He needs our help most immediately.

>>6267029
>C) Help Jerb, he’s already hurt and his position is precarious

>>6267029
>C) Help Jerb, he’s already hurt and his position is precarious
He's likely to get eviscerated if we don't intervene immediately, and besides that, he's been a reliable heavy-hitter. Losing him so soon would be a waste.

>>6267029
>B
Only we're allowed to bite Remu's thighs

>>6267029
>help Jerb
he may be a retard but damn it hes our retard and as soon as hes clear we turn to help Remu
also throw the pimp hat like captain america to distract the imp trying to get at our girl

>>6267098

>>6267107
>>6267050
>>6267045
>>6267036
C it is, give me those d20s

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>6267417

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>6267417
can we make it double action if we roll high enough to throw the pimp hat and try to help Remu?

>>6267447
oh fuck me

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>6267417

>>6267450
>>6267447

>>6267447
>>6267450
Poor Jerb. He wasn't just a strong chimp, he was a true friend. If we survive, we should honor him by wearing his skull.

>>6267447
>>6267450

It's gonna be looking rough very soon.

>>6267447
>>6267450

>>6267450
>>6267447

>>6266242
Now we're trapped in here with them

>>6267029
(Rolled 1 – Crit Fail)
>Somewhere outside of space, somewhen outside of time.

“Hello, Multiversal Bureau of Causality, this is 佐̴̯̜̳͓̮̆͛͋͗̆d̶͔̟͆̎̓͋̊͗̆͐̑͑͝d̴̹̯̓̉̓̒̆͛̉̓͛ͩ͛̽ speaking, how can I assist you?”

“Hi, it’s Bob. I’ve got an issue with a System being operated by a minor deity’s Hero in some monkey-centric fantasy universe. Unclaimed world, fairness checkups, you know the drill. Well, I was auditing an ongoing Critical situation taking place there. Thing is, it won’t go through with the rules-as-written. Looks like a bug to me. So, you know…”
The angel flapped its wings anxiously as it waited for ‘blabber’ Bob to finish his speech.

“Bob, can you forward the relevant information so I can check it out?”

“Right away, 佐̴̯̜̳͓̮̆͛͋͗̆d̶͔̟͆̎̓͋̊͗̆͐̑͑͝d̴̹̯̓̉̓̒̆͛̉̓͛ͩ͛̽ "

It scrutinized the data as it streamed into its mind. Every eye on its body widened in disbelief at the sheer idiocy of it all. This was a rush job by all accounts.

“Oh. Oh wow, yeah. This is rare but somebody really screwed up. Sucks to be this ‘Dough’ guy but I’m amending the rules, if you get two or more 1s that should override the lower-than-10 condition. Gods, while I’m at it, I’ll try to fix these other bugs… Damn amateurs.”

In that moment, 佐̴̯̜̳͓̮̆͛͋͗̆d̶͔̟͆̎̓͋̊͗̆͐̑͑͝d̴̹̯̓̉̓̒̆͛̉̓͛ͩ͛̽ would’ve sighed had it any mouths. Instead, it vibrated in a low hum of heavenly resignation.
“It’s not my fault, just following ‘regs’, but I guess I’ll send them some gift baskets as an apology.”

>>6268124
>Snap back to reality
A chill ran down my spine and every hair on my body stood on end. I felt like something had messed with my head— or maybe my soul. I couldn’t explain it. The world was different, and I just lacked the means to understand how.

Jerb’s screams brought me back to the moment. His face twisted in anguish as he struggled and failed to push the Imp away; its teeth were buried too deeply into Jerb’s arm.

From behind me, Remu screamed almost drowned the dull thuds of her bow hitting another assailant. There was no way to help both — and worse, more enemies could strike at any moment.

So, I dashed to Jerb’s side. His situation was critical.

I held my axe high, both hands tightly wrapped around its wooden base. Right as I swung my axe, my lucky streak ended.

Feet caught on guts; soles slipped on blood. The insides of that enemy that Jerb had taken down previously littered the stairs, and in my rush, I tripped all over them.
My axe kept going, straight towards the chimp.

His instincts were something else, thankfully. In the nick of time he guarded himself, rolling towards me and using the Imp latched to his arm as a makeshift shield. The stone edge cut right through the monster’s frail neck.

>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [1/13]

It went *right through* and it didn’t stop.

Jerb’s screams escalated from guttural into high-pitched. He clutched weakly at his left hand. Well, the remaining half of it.

“Fuck,” I gasped.

I tried to get up but nearly planted my face on the rocky stairs, hands drenched in that oily black blood. As I struggled to get back up, another Imp appeared right behind Jerb. The malicious little shit was grinning.

None of us were wearing any armor, just pelts and tattered clothes. A vulnerability that I had accepted but hadn’t fully understood. At least not until I saw the creature’s fangs drawing blood from the downed chimp’s neck.

That got me over the edge. I pulled Jerb towards me, Imp and all. With one hand steadying him, I jabbed my fingers into the Imp’s eyes. That got it to release its bite; instead, it snapped at me, cutting open my cheek. My grasp slacked just enough for it to bite my pinky clean off.

>>6268125
“MOTHERFUCKER!”
With all the strength I could muster I pried the creature away from Jerb. Driven by pure animal instinct, I pinned it down and bit into the softest part I could find.

As I ripped its belly open with my teeth, the acrid taste of its dark blood poured into my mouth, numbing it.

>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [1/13]

I couldn’t rest, I had to get up. It was one disaster after another. I had to check on Remu…

Propped on the cold black stones of the stairway, the smell of something burning suddenly hit me. I glanced down. Someone’s torch had rolled into the spilled blood.

Then it struck me. My hat. My beautiful, feathery hat. My precious pimp trophy. At some point it fell off my head, and now it was—
In Remu’s hands. Singed, but not destroyed. She held it close to her chest, which rose up and down in an unsteady and hurried beat. The creature next to her was dead, and she seemed mostly unharmed, aside from cuts on her thighs.

I heard shrieks moving away from us, deeper into the tunnels. The imps were fleeing. Perhaps afraid of the growing flames; or perhaps afraid of prey that would fight back like this.

The growing heat jolted me back to the moment. No time to dawdle. The fire was rushing our way. I grabbed Jerb and hauled him up the stairs as fast as I could, even as the flames ‘bit’ at us…

--

It had taken some time for the fire to die down. In the meantime, I had ripped what I could from my garments to bandage our wounds. Mostly Jerb’s wounds. He laid unconscious on the ground, wrapped in pelts.

At the bottom of the stairs, Remu sulked. I could tell she was holding back tears. This was likely her first time experiencing a battle going this awry for her side. Well, mine too…

>[Gift Box Received]
>Open?

“Huh?” I clicked the confirmation button.

>System Management:
>Hi, we did an oopsie, here’s something to compensate you.
>x3 Common Loot Boxes
>x1 Uncommon Loot Box

Some twisted compensation for nearly killing the entire party? What’s next, gacha companions if you lose any friends?
Disgusting.
>Pick one or more
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.
>B) That can wait. Check on Remu, she doesn’t seem to be taking it well.
>C) I should check the other tunnels, not too deep, just to see if there’s a safer place where we can rest.
>D) Write-in

>>6268126
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.
If we can mend Jerb, that'll probably help regain Remu's trust ad give her back a sense of security, too.

>>6268126
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.
Rolled so badly we activated the plot armor. Nice.

>>6268126
Ah shit, we've been pulled into a bureaucratic error.
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.
Maybe we'll luck out and get a healing item of some kind. We're down a pinky but Jerb is missing half a hand and bleeding out. Going to have to triage.

>>6268126
>D
Ask the goddess about the boxes
Heh, minor deity

Also that didn't go as bad as expected! Double nat 1, I was sure someone was gonna die. Maybe even 2 someones.

>>6268126
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.

>>6268223
I'll add a proper disclaimer on rolls and criticala later, I didn't want you being punished too harshly this time over something that hadn't been explicitly stated before. Hence the cosmic shitpost at the start.

>>6268124
>>6268125
>>6268126

>B) That can wait. Check on Remu, she doesn’t seem to be taking it well.

Who cares about loot boxes when the real treasure is dying?

>>6268303
Support

>>6268223
We lost a finger and ajerb lost half a hand and is bleeding out, while Remu has shell-shock. It's not great.

>>6268526
If this is going to be the result every time we get a crit fail in combat, we're going to run out of ways to get maimed quite quickly.

>>6268223
I thought we were going to lose the hat. Maybe that will require a triple nat 1 failure...
>>6268126
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.
Hand out loot, praise and head pats.

>>6268359

Incredible name right there.

>>6268260
>>6268161
>>6268159
>>6268134
>>6268791
Alright lads roll me 4d100 will ya

Rolled 65, 43, 35, 85 = 228 (4d100)

>>6269063

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>6269063
1d100 each by 4 anons, right?

Rolled 36, 100, 60 = 196 (3d100)

>>6269069
Oh, maybe not.

>>6269063
Here are my other three, if they're needed.

Rolled 20, 17, 57, 28 = 122 (4d100)

>>6269063
Here we go lads...

>>6269070
Yep, I'll take the 65,21,36 and 20, though I should've worded it properly.
(neither higher nor lower are inherently better)

>>6269063
Customarily to get that kind of roll you’d ask “4 anons each roll 1d100”

>>6269085
No harm, no foul... Except losing that nat 100, lol.

>>6268126
>>6268126
I sat down near Remu. Not right next to her, I was still reticent to talk to her for some reason, but close enough to notice her shaking every so often.

Her injuries looked bad, cuts and bruises. Though none seemed particularly deep, so it was nothing major when compared to what Jerb went through.

Still, I had the gnawing feeling at some point I’d have to help her cope with that traumatic experience.

I glanced back at Jerb. He was out cold, wrapped in pelts. I had done my best to patch up his wounds and stop him from bleeding out, but he was still at risk.

At least, whether due to his natural toughness or just luck, it didn’t look like the bite to his neck had hit anything vital.

My hand brushed against the cold stone floor, and the sharp pain instantly reminded me of my own injuries.

The missing pinky seemed like a warning. That this was real. Not a game. I could really die. I could get others killed.

Gritting my teeth, I opened my System UI. Maybe one of those loot boxes could net us something useful. Hopefully something that could help Jerb heal.

>Level up! 4  5
>Pick 1 Stat to add +1 (Might, Agility, Endurance or Intellect)

“Oh, right.”

That had happened at some point. No pop-up, probably something to do with occurring mid-fight.

Once that was done, I found the loot box window. Sure enough, a mostly empty bland blue grid, the only items within being four cartoonish gift box icons.

I clicked one of the common boxes, opting to leave the best for last.

The air itself parted, split by a glowing seam. Once it had grown sufficiently, a small green gift box simply plopped out of the shining tear in space.

I picked it up, and with that, the box disappeared in a burst of holographic confetti. Instead, I held a small shining black dagger adorned with a stylish engraving of a playing-card Jack.

>Blackjack [Common]: This high-quality dagger will offer advice, as long as you’re nice to it.

“Jesus Christ, this is ridiculous,” I muttered.

Remu eyed me in awe, her mouth agape. Before she could say anything, the dagger spoke.

“Greetings. It is I, Blackjack. I assure you that you’re a very fortunate man for becoming my master. Let’s have a delightful time together, shall we, Dough?”

“I… Ok.” I handed the dagger to Remu, and it promptly started chattering at her.

>>6269528
>>6269528
Two more common boxes to go. I opened the next one. Same thing happened, glowing hole, disappearing box.

Except this time, I held a hideous wooden mask depicting a monkey in a vaguely Japanese style.

>Hideous Ape Mask [Common]: Nobody *wants* to see this ugly thing. Increases your Stealth (+1), severely reduces your social standing while worn.

At least that seemed fairly useful. Though it seems to require the user to be mindful not to wear it at inappropriate times, it doesn’t seem like such an awful drawback.

Next up… a tiny glass vial containing some green glowing liquid.

>Nymph “Nectar” Vial [Common]: Contains 5 drops. Induces a lustful state after ingestion. Do not ingest the full vial, might result in rapid mutation and mild psychosis.

“Seriously? Not a single healing item? Damn it. I should’ve guessed I wasn’t some super lucky Isekai protagonist. So far, this has been a dud.”

I sighed and placed the vial down alongside the mask. “Alright, best for last.”

The air parted again, but this time it was a purple box. Everything else happened the same.

And in my hands I held…

>1911 [Uncommon]: A timeless classic. It comes with a full 8-bullet magazine.

“W-what?”

This would certainly help take down a Gorilla, maybe more. It might even prove useful against things worse than the average Gorilla.

Just eight bullets might seem like an issue, sure. But then again — “What the absolute FUCK is it with these boxes?”

“What is that?” Remu asked. She had come closer at some point. Perhaps having found some relief from talking with the chatty Dagger. I hadn’t really paid any attention to their conversation.

“It’s a gun. It’s like that fire staff, except anyone can use it.” I can tell she’s really interested in it.

“How did you do that, conjure all those things? Did the Goddess help you? Can she…”

Her words drift off as she looks towards Jerb’s limp figure. Now that’s a thought, if only she could be of *some* use.

Before I can give her a proper explanation, a clicking sound echoes from one of the paths within the chamber. Doesn’t sound like the imps, but it could be something worse.

Remu shakily points up the dagger with both hands.

"Not again," she says weakly.

>Pick one or more
>A) Grab our stuff and haul Jerb back up the stairs, maybe if we do it together we can manage!
>B) Ready the newly acquired gun — and dagger, I guess? We’re not going down easy, not anymore.
>C) Put on the mask, get Remu and hide up the stairs. If she stays back and I wear this, maybe we can observe whatever it is from the dark before we decided how to act.
>D) Call out… Maybe it’s just, like, someone who doesn’t want to murder us?
>E) Write-in

>>6269529
>C) Put on the mask, get Remu and hide up the stairs. If she stays back and I wear this, maybe we can observe whatever it is from the dark before we decided how to act.
Let's not waste all our bullets just yet.

>>6269529
Not a bad haul, overall. That 1911 is worth its weight in diamond-crusted platinum. Shame we don't have any actual skill with it.
>C) Put on the mask, get Remu and hide up the stairs. If she stays back and I wear this, maybe we can observe whatever it is from the dark before we decided how to act.
Let's be cautious. We've already lost a pinky, and we could easily lose more.

>>6269529
>C) Put on the mask, get Remu and hide up the stairs. If she stays back and I wear this, maybe we can observe whatever it is from the dark before we decided how to act.

>>6269529
>C) Put on the mask
although long term it probably makes more sense for the party's thief to have the mask.

>>6269529
>A
Shame, at least the boxes yielded tangible items we can ask the goddess about later

>>6269529
>A
>put on the mask and the pimp hat and pretend to be the gorilla pimp returned from the dead its possible that the imps will flee in terror when seeing one of the 100 gorilla lords

>>6269575
>>6269564
>>6269550
>>6269532
alright C it is, can I get d20 best of three?

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>6270641

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>6270641

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>6270641
You got it, boss!

>>6270670
>>6270674
Whew.

>>6270659
Our savior.

>>6269529
>Rolled 16
There was no time for witty remarks or elaborate plans. I slid the mask over my face and pulled its uncomfortably tight straps over the back of my head.

Despite its narrow eyeholes, it didn’t hinder my sight nearly as much as I had expected.

Still, I could notice Remu’s expression turning sour at the sight of it.

While it certainly was a hideous mask, this effect seemed like some sort of enchantment or curse. A reverse-glamour.

“Come on,” I said, as quietly as possible. She opened her mouth to retort, but snapped it shut once the unknown sounds returned.

They seemed closer now, and that realization had probably been enough to convince her to be silent.

I grabbed Remu by the arm and pulled her gently towards the stairs. She looked back worriedly at Jerb’s limp form on the ground yet offered no resistance.

Her legs shook a little with each step, like she was struggling holding herself upright.

Remu was strong, though, she powered through it all while holding her dagger at the ready. Her psychological wellbeing was a concern, but for now she’d have to tough it out.

I motioned for her to head up a little bit further. On the other hand, I crouched by the bottom of the stairs, doing my best to conceal myself in the shadows.

“Wait… whatever it is probably has night vision.”

I had no time to curse my own idiocy for not considering that possibility. All I could do was stay still and hope for the best.

The “best” being that whatever came our way would open itself up by going for the obvious prey that was Jerb rather than paying attention to its surroundings.

My stomach churned at the thought. Or at least I felt like it should.

Jerb lay on the ground, wrapped in pelts. Still breathing, and every so often letting out a pained grunt.

It gave me no pleasure to use him as bait, but we were left with very few options. Carrying him upstairs would’ve been suicide.

Especially when enemies could’ve been up top anyway. Imps did come after us from both sides back during the ambush, after all.

My train of thought got derailed when I heard steps resounding within the rounded chamber.

It was human. Or rather, humanoid most likely. Stout, burly. Masked with something that resembled dried leather that fully covered its face, to the point where it seemed not to have one.

Other than a few bags and pouches it seemed naked. Its dark grey skin resembled the other things we had seen in this cursed jungle. Though something was off about it.

It was hard to see in the dark, but it seemed uneven in coloring. Its texture too seemed wrong, not stony enough.

I had time to analyze it because the figure walked slowly and deliberately. With each step, I heard a click.

Soon I realized the sound came from its tongue. Clicking and snapping at regular intervals. But why?

>>6271501

As the figure approach Jerb, my hand tensed on my newly acquired gun. Finger off the trigger only by the miracle of having browsed /k/ enough times to not be a complete idiot at handling firearms.

It kneeled beside Jerb, back almost fully turned towards us, then pulled the furs slightly to reveal the chimp’s bloodied face. The stranger sighed at the sight.

This close, I could tell it wasn’t holding anything in its hands, but if it could survive inside this place, there was no way it was defenseless.

Plus, there was no way to guarantee there weren’t others around.

I glanced back at Remu. She was gritting her teeth, eyes wide, both hands shakily pointing the dagger ahead.

From her position she couldn’t see what was transpiring, and that must’ve put her further on edge.

When I turned back, something caught my eye. Off towards one of the exits, a shimmer. I waited for a beat, then caught it again. A slight shimmer, closer now.

Imps were sneaking in again. Coming for round two, or were they after this stranger? Either way, they gave no indication that they saw us.

>Pick one or more if applicable
>A) Try to sneak on this stranger and take it down with the axe. Deal with the imps afterwards. No monkey business on my watch.
>B) Wait and see what transpires. Though this endangers Jerb even further, it’s best not to take any more risks.
>C) Maybe I can sneak on these invisible bastards. They seem to be heading towards Jerb and the stranger, makes for an easy kill.
>D) Motion for Remu to follow your lead (combine with other options)
>E) Write-in

>>6269528
Oh and I forgot to mention this because I'm clearly retarded, but you still have one stat point to distribute among
>intellect, might, agility and endurance
which I'll retroactively add.

>>6271505
+1 Intellect, we'll need to be clever to get out of this.

>>6271503
>C/E
As soon as we have clear shot at one of the imps, blow it away, and hopefully startle the thing fondling Jerb in the process. Turn the gun on it next, and do our best Clint Eastwood impression to intimidate.

>>6271503
>C) Maybe I can sneak on these invisible bastards. They seem to be heading towards Jerb and the stranger, makes for an easy kill.
>D) Motion for Remu to follow your lead (combine with other options)

>>6271503
>C
>>6271505
MIGHT

>>6271503
>C
>Intellect

>>6272298
>>6271610
>>6271547
>>6271533
Intellect it is
>20 best of three for C

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>6272907

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>6272907

>>6272907

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>6272961
I'm retarded.

>>6272963
Doesn't matter how smart you are if you stay lucky like that!

>>6272963
>>6271503
I'm finishing the update tomorrow, letting you all know cause I don't want to be radio silent again

>>6274052
>>6271503
The figure hunched over the injured chimp, then reached into one of the pouches strapped to his body while pulling away Jerb’s covers.

It was difficult to tell what he intended to do, but I had more pressing matters to deal with.

Those shimmers in the dark approached the duo from behind. Damned imps were nearly invisible if you didn’t know what to look for.

They were rather silent too, when they weren’t screeching and trying to bite people.

I raised my hand, motioning for Remu to stay put.

While it would’ve been far easier to take down our enemies together, there were upsides to letting her stay hidden. Like not being blindsided if more imps showed up.

Plus, letting her come into harm’s way while she was still reeling from the last battle wouldn’t have felt right.My mind came back to the present challenge of sneaking on those imps.

Regardless of whether it made sense or not, video-game style stealth had served me well in the past, and so I crouched down, with the axe gripped tightly in one hand and my gun pointed down.

I made my way towards the imps. They didn’t halt or change course. Good, they hadn’t immediately spotted me.

Covering the short distance took no time at all. I closed in on them, breath held instinctively, mindful of my steps. Anxious, but in control.

>Stealth +2 XP [2/7]

And with that notification popping up I knew this had been a successful attempt.

My axe came bearing down on one of the monsters, dispelling its invisibility by turning its head into a mess of dark blood and bone splinters.

>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [3/13]

One Imp dead the instant my axe struck it.

“Jackpot!” I said as a vicious grin spread over my face, which was still thankfully hidden by the hideous ape mask.

The stranger didn’t even turn around, seemingly unperturbed by the violence going on behind him.

Good, that’d let me focus on the imps, I would deal with him later.

Another imp popped into view. It flipped out, screeched and flailed at me with its tiny claws. Instinct told me to put a bullet in it, but those were precious.

Instead, my foot struck its face, sending it reeling down. I loomed over it.

“You’re tiny! That means you have tiny guts! Rip and tear!”

And so, I did.

>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [4/13]

Something moved near the edge of my sight. Another imp had apparently been smart enough not to freak out over me killing his comrades.

Before it could do anything, the stranger’s hands wrapped around the monster’s head and snapped its neck with little effort. With another twist, the Imp’s head popped clean off.

“That’s pretty hardcore,” I muttered to myself, “alright, friend or foe?”

Up close, it became obvious that his skin was covered in some sort of paint. No, not really paint. Dark blood, probably violently extracted from the creatures that inhabit this cursed place.

>>6274417
The stranger dropped the lifeless head and moved his hands up to remove the leather covering his head, revealing…

A chimp. Blind, eyelids shut and scarred — like most of his face, in fact. At some point in his life, he had gotten mauled by someone. Or something.

“Howdy?”

“It’s been a long time since anyone wandered in here. I heard the commotion, heard voices. Had to come and check if…”

His voice trails off. “Anyway. Your companion is injured but I’ve taken care of it.”

For just a second, I feared he had done something to Jerb, but those concerns dissipated once the stranger moved aside.

Jerb was fine. His expression actually looked to be slightly less tense. His wounds were covered in a strange slimy and yellowish goo.

“A healing salve. It’ll take time for him to heal, yet this will soothe his pain and prevent infection.

“You’re very talkative for some blind hermit living in cursed ruins inside a cursed jungle filled with cursed monsters.”

“I spend a lot of time talking to myself… and to the dead,” he said impassively. How quaint and not creepy at all.

I removed my own creepy mask and offered a handshake. Maybe his blindness made him immune to the negative social effects of this thing.

“Anyway, I’m Dough, and you?”

“I used to be called Ham,” he said, ignoring my handshake. Wait, maybe he sees through some kind of echolocation. “So, what led you fools into this jungle?”

“I’m on a quest to kill a bunch of evil gorillas. Though before I complete that I need to learn a lot more about this world and get stronger,” I say with a shrug.

“This place seemed more interesting than a desert or a beach, I suppose.”

The stranger shook his head.

“This place might have more to do with your quest than you believe. I just hope that you haven’t bitten more than you can chew.”

His head nodded towards the stairs. I turned to look. Remu leaned on the wall, dagger still firmly held in hand. She had been watching us without approaching.

“You and your wife should probably take your companion back before things get worse. I doubt you’re ready to face the gorilla that dwells in this place. Or the mistress that commands him.”

Interesting advice, all things considered. Then again, he didn’t know about the system. It could easily make us stronger, if we didn’t fuck up again.

But carrying Jerb around until he recovered would be quite a hassle, regardless of whether we decided to stay or retreat from this area for now.

Maybe, just maybe, we could crash at this Ham fellow’s place. Or at least have him watch over Jerb while we level up.

>>6274418
>Pick one or more
>A) Ask if there’s somewhere safer where we can talk
>B) Ask about this Gorilla and his mistress.
>C) Ask about Ham, why is he living inside these ruins? Why is he blind? Why does he wear the mask? He’s a big guy.
>D) Ask if we can crash at his place until Jerb recovers.
>E) Take his advice and just leave, I’m a big pansy!

>>6274420
>A) Ask if there’s somewhere safer where we can talk

>>6274418
Ah yes us and our wife
>B
Just how outclassed are we here

>>6274420
>D) Ask if we can crash at his place until Jerb recovers.
I like this option, as a mix of A,B,C.
If we can go to his place it will be someplace safe, saves us having to deal with carrying Jerb, and means we can get a lore dump about this guy, the gorilla and everything else.
Then we can decide to XP grind here or go level up someplace else

>>6274420
>A) Ask if there’s somewhere safer where we can talk
Then we can ask all the rest, and even invite him to stay at our village if he'd rather.

>>6274417
>>6274418
>>6274420

>A

Another isekai'ed man? And this is how he lives? If anything, this is gonna be rather foreboding.

>>6274907
Isekai'd man? I thought he was described as a blind chimp?

>>6274907
>>6274540
>>6274427
A it is!

>>6274420
>A
I gave the blind chimp called Ham a once over.
He seemed strong, as evidenced by his burly build and the fact he had snapped an Imp’s neck with ease. Ham had survived alone within these ruins for who knows how long.
Perhaps being blind had given him an edge. Whether it was echolocation or something else that he relied on, the underground’s poor illumination wouldn’t have posed as much of an issue to him.
That and it was a ‘hard counter’ to any invisible imps attempting to ambush him.
“Hey, now that I stop and think about it, you knew those little shits were creeping up on you, right? You also knew we were watching. That means you were either very confident in taking them out, or you were testing us.”
“Yes.”
“Ok, both then.”
My attention drifted towards the passageways that led out of the dark chamber. At any moment, Imps could surround our group again; or perhaps, if our luck abandoned us, something far worse could decide to pay us a visit.
Jerb, still prone and draped in pelts, grunted something unintelligible and drew me back to our little exchange.
“What do you say we grab our stuff and get out of here? I’m sure you have a safe place where we can chat.”
Ham nodded.
“Follow me when you’re ready,” he said then turned walked away. He didn’t leave, rather he just stood by the edge of the chamber, clicking his tongue. Maybe he’s scouting, in his own strange manner.
I gave Remu a glance and pointed at Jerb.
“Help me carry him, I’ll take the legs,” I said as I moved to grab the chimp’s lower half.
“Ok, Boss,” she whispered. While Remu still seemed shaken, she kept moving despite her own feelings. And she still placed her trust in me.
We lifted Jerb up and trudged towards Ham. He led us out of the chamber and into the same pathway he had come from previously.
Although he didn’t have need for light, he carried a torch to illuminate the path for us, letting us focus on carrying our — unsurprisingly heavy — companion.
It was different from the stairs that had led us down into these ruins. The stones seemed deliberately placed, the walls were neat and flat enough to give the appearance of actual walls rather than a mere tunnel into the earth.
I saw maybe a dozen paths leading down or up, and countless more branching in different directions within the same floor.
Though our group stayed within the same ‘level’, the path had become confusing enough that I no longer felt confident I could find my way back up should the need arise.
And yet we kept going, placing our trust in a random blind hermit chimp we just met. Awesome.
None of us spoke up. Not that there was a lack of things to discuss, but I didn’t want to draw any attention from whatever lurked in these ruins.
Truth be told, horror had never been my favorite genre.
[1/]

>>6277296
-
“Just how big is this place? My arms are getting tired, so I really hope we’re close,” I said, my first words in minutes prompted by regret about past choices in stat allocation.
It hadn’t been long since we set off, but carrying a grown chimp takes a toll.
“We’re here.” He stopped and pointed at a large and oddly fitting stone on the ground a few feet away from us.
“Wow, I complain, and we suddenly arrive. Feels kinda cliché.”
Ham ignored my references to things from my world which he couldn’t have possibly understood and knelt down to lift the loose stone.
He placed the lid aside, revealing a hole leading into absolute dakrness.
“You… want us to jump into that?”
To illustrate that it wasn’t a hole leading into an infinite chasm, he lowered the torch into it. It was in fact a measly five foot drop.
Remu and I lowered Jerb as gently as we could. The chimp whined slightly as we laid him down.
“Sorry buddy.”
I hopped down, back hunched to avoid hitting my head on the hidden path’s low ‘ceiling’. To one side I saw nothing but rock and soil.
On the opposite end, a tunnel.
-
We found ourselves in a small and perfectly square room.
If my spatial reasoning wasn’t completely flawed, this room should be adjacent to the corridor we had been following prior to descending into the tunnel. But there was definitely no way to access it other than the tunnel.
Everything inside, other than the trash gathered over the years by our host, seemed to be made of black stone that composed pretty much this entire dungeon.
Yet, it felt strangely familiar.
There was something that looked like a bed, and which now served as Jerb’s, well, bed.
Something that somewhat resembled a desk, next to which Remu sat while quietly whispering to the talking dagger.
On top of the ‘desk’ there were two big blocks of stone which…
“Is this a computer?” I exclaimed, scratching my chin at the mysterious CRT monitor-shaped rock.
[2/?]

>>6277298
I knocked on it, just to make sure.
“Yep, just a very weirdly shaped rock. Alright, Ham, let’s talk, what the hell is this place?”
Remu had stopped her chat with the dagger and intently watched me. Meanwhile, the blind chimp sifted through his belongings scattered about the room, as if he was looking for something.
“I don’t know, but it doesn’t belong to this world.”
“Yeah no shit, I could tell with the weird robot monsters and the pulsating sand.”
I sighed and sat down next to Remu.
“Ok, my bad, I don’t want to be rude or anything, it’s just that I came into this jungle hoping for Indiana Jones and not H.R. Giger meets Jacob’s Ladder. Could you maybe elaborate a bit more?”
“We came here a long time ago. Our expedition knew of an accursed dungeon, fabled to have grown out of a fallen star. There have been tales of others visiting this place, but we had been informed by a trustworthy source that it still held unimaginably valuable spoils at its core. So, at our liege’s command we came.”
He threw me a bundled piece of cloth. Unfurled, it seemed to be some kind of banner emblazoned with a monkey’s paw holding a bundle of arrows.
“The journey by sea was brutal, but we managed to arrive with most of our forces intact. The jungle itself posed no threat, and neither did the ruins. We were well trained. Well-armed.”
While he spoke, Ham knelt by some sacks tucked away in a corner. From inside he pulled pink and purple mushrooms. Their faint glow was still visible even with the torch illuminating the room.
He bit into them, his expression turning sour before swallowing. He and offered me and Remu those same disgusting-looking shrooms.
She looked at the food with disgust, then glanced at me as if asking for permission, or perhaps order.
But I was already biting into the pink fungus.
“What? They look safe, kinda, even if they taste like a landfill smells. Go on, Ham.”
“Even the ‘tribals’, the masked ones that live in this region, weren’t particularly dangerous to us. Smart, yes. But there’s something missing. A soul, perhaps. Simply donning that mask and painting my skin with cursed blood is enough to fool them into ignoring me.”
“That’s clever, how did you figure that out?”
“Trial and error.”
“I’m guessing that’s how you lost your eyes.”
“No. That’s…”

>>6278025
“Master, that’s rather impolite,” said the dagger Remu held in her hands.
I nearly jumped. Even though I had seen it whispering moments earlier, having it pipe up like that had scared me.
“Jesus Christ. I forgot about you for a second.”
Ham seemed lost in thought. As if he’d be staring off into the distance, if he still had eyes.
“I do not mind. I’ll try to give you the short version. We were successful, finding the ruins’ core. Then you might wonder what claimed all my comrades’ lives… Greed of course,” he said that last bit with a tinge of anger, his sharp teeth flared slightly.
“The mistress of this place promised us a singular wish, but to claim it we needed to win a game. A challenge so simple. All we had to do was be the last man standing.”
He huffs.
“Of course, the game was rigged. The second in command, that vile gorilla had made a deal with the entity. She became his mistress, favoring him from the start. To what end, I never learned.”
“But the game never quite finished,” he says pridefully.
“I’m still standing.”
“That was still a pretty long story you know? You’ve been hiding here for who knows how long trying not to get merked by some possessed Gorilla. Gotcha. Why not just leave?”
“I can’t. I tried, but I get blocked by her magic.”
“Alright, and what exactly is she?”
“A demon, I’m sure.”
>Pick one or more
>A) Ask if he can help you get stronger, perhaps we can help each other
>B) Ask about the mistress, we need more details
>C) Ask about the gorilla, what exactly is he capable of
>D) Ask him what he would wish
>E) Write-in

>>6278027
>B) Ask about the mistress, we need more details
>C) Ask about the gorilla, what exactly is he capable of
Thought we lost ya for a second there, QM.

>>6278027
>B) Ask about the mistress, we need more details
>C) Ask about the gorilla, what exactly is he capable of
Team-up time. Maybe. Chances are we DO need to kill this 'rilla.

>>6278027
>D) Ask him what he would wish
Tell him that we're going to kill that gorilla. What will he wish for when he is the winner?

>B) Ask about the mistress, we need more details
>C) Ask about the gorilla, what exactly is he capable of
Eyes on the prize

>>6278027
“Come *on*, you can’t be serious. You’ll call her a demon and leave it at that? I need more details, Ham.”

The chimp’s brow furrowed.

“You don’t expect to fight them, do you?”

I grinned in response, stood up, then waved the pistol at him, barrel pointed up towards the ceiling and finger carefully placed beside the trigger guard.

“I’m not defenseless you know. Worst case scenario, this little trinket from am interdimensional gacha lootbox can…”

I looked up and scratched my chin, in a mock expression of deep thought.


“…maybe one-shot them. Hopefully.”

“It would be to my benefit if you did defeat them. But a short while back you were getting mauled by imps—”

Remu shifted, her hands wrapped tightly against Blackjack, so much so that if a talking dagger had to breathe, he would’ve been choking.

“We know!” she snapped. “It hasn’t been long since that, no need to remind us…” she continued, in a more collected tone.

I nodded at her, unsure how to feel about her sudden outburst, but not letting her go unacknowledged.

“Even though we’re not the strongest around, we can make it work if we have prep time.”

My hand drifted towards Remo’s shoulder to give her a gentle pat. A gesture slightly stifled by my ¬still lacking confidence when it comes to handling such situations.

“We’ll manage, somehow. That being said, we do need more information before we decide on anything, so, mind sharing whatever you got? On the ‘rilla, and the demon lady.”

Ham seemed frozen for a moment, then he paced back and forth before finally exhaling.

“Fine. There’s nothing to lose,” he said while gesturing at the admittedly gloomy room.

“The gorilla once named Thorn. Prior to his pact he was a remarkable warrior, always wielding his treasured great axe in battle. Afterwards? He became nearly unstoppable. She changed him from the inside, corrupted Thorn into an improved version of her monsters. His blood was black, his skin was tough like granite, and even when pierced in a vital spot he didn’t seem bothered.”

After his massive infodump was finished, the system decided to pop up again.

>GORILLA DISCOVERED: Thorn the Corrupted Gorilla, Ranked #98

“Scary. Still, I think I can work with that. And the demon?”

>>6279509
“Ah yes, her.” he said as if spitting at the thought of her. “Tzeentch.”

“Oh shut the fuck up.”

The chimp seemed surprised at my interjection. He leaned in, head cocked to the side as if eager to learn why I had freaked out.

“Master, what did we talk about rude—"

“Not the time, talking dagger,” I said, glancing around at the room. The eery similarity to a room with a desk, a bed, a computer.

“I think I see what’s going on. Tell me more about this Tzeentch fellow.”

“Well, not much is known about this place, or her. Their origins are a matter of myth. What I can say is that she appears as a woman, but her appearance shifts depending on the observer.”

He flared his teeth slightly, as if failing to suppress his anger.

“I was able glean that information from certain encounters I had with my former comrades, prior to their… passing.”

“And her true form?”

“A relic. Spherical, pitch black, pulsating like a heart at the core of these ruins.”

“Could be worse. Could be a vending machine.”

None of them knew how to reply to that, as observed by the moment of utter silence that followed.

>Pick one or more
>A) Form a plan to take down the gorilla, if he has black blood he probably has the same weakness as the other constructs
>B) Explain that this woman probably comes from my world, so it might be possible to bargain with her.
>C) Ask if the group can sneak into the center of the ruins somehow or wherever it is that Thorn spends his time.
>D) Wait, maybe we should take the time to let Jerb recover and train or hunt in the meantime. Even if we’ll have to live off landfill-shrooms.
>E) Write-in

>>6279510
>B) Explain that this woman probably comes from my world, so it might be possible to bargain with her.
>C) Ask if the group can sneak into the center of the ruins somehow or wherever it is that Thorn spends his time.

Though I guess there's the possibility that she's really the real Tzeentch, or a real demon with a coincidental name like Pimp...

>>6279510
>B) Explain that this woman probably comes from my world, so it might be possible to bargain with her.
>C) Ask if the group can sneak into the center of the ruins somehow or wherever it is that Thorn spends his time.

>>6279510
>B
>D
Skin like granite doesn't bode too well for our plan of one shotting him with a pistol. We'll need something more, might as well look for it while Jerb heals.

>>6279510
>B) Explain that this woman probably comes from my world, so it might be possible to bargain with her.
>D) Wait, maybe we should take the time to let Jerb recover and train or hunt in the meantime. Even if we’ll have to live off landfill-shrooms.

training montage

also the blood is flammable right? maybe we could "harvest" some of the imps and store their blood in... gourds or something. Basically molotovs.

>>6279515
Very tzeentchian

>>6279655
+1 to the molotov idea, too.

>>6279514
>>6279510