I never asked to be here. I am not at all glad that I exist. I got thrown in here and just supposed to make something off it. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate my ineptitude in getting a girlfriend. Like why is this shit so fucking insanely hard for me? I go out, I interact with people, I can hold a conversation with almost anyone. I treat people with respect, not because I expect something in return. I just like doing that. Even know I find myself in a state of absolute desolation. And I feel no resentment for anyone, safe for life itself. Like, why? What is it about me that's the biggest turn off. I really, really want to know. I don't care if it's something I can not change. But my self-esteem is so far gone at this point. I feel like I can not trust my hypothetical girlfriend. That she actually would love me. I am an all-round settle-for and a may-as-well boyfriend.