>>81506940 (OP)>keep coming back routinelyI can be myself here, I think that's extremely common. Beyond just that I can be ultra-myself, that is, express at full intensity the sides of my personality and emotional spectrum (autism spectrum, that is) that get suppressed in normal life.
>feel shamefulI grasp that it IS shameful, but I like keeping secrets. I just enjoy having some little harmless part of my daily life that I will essentially never tell anyone about. Makes me feel somehow superior, almost, like "you don't really know me as well as you think you do" even to people who believe they are close to me.