Thread 81512022

Do you plan on killing yourself someday?

I used to think about it a lot but I think I sort of settled into a dogshit worker-drone life.
I don't -actually- want to kill myself, I just wish I was a comfy NEET.

>>81512022 (OP)
Nobody wants to kill themselves it just gets to a point where they have no other option

>>81512022 (OP)
https://youtu.be/svfF5vXMJGo?si=MELCj_gYmrWnwfQE
If this lady can be born into hell on earth and still be alive at 39, I don't think I have a right to kill myself. You think life is bad? It can always get worse, so I'm just happy for the life I have as it's not the worst. So, to awnser the question, when I was a young teen I wanted to, but now that I'm an adult I don't think it's worth it.

>>81512022 (OP)
Killing yourself is pointless, first you need to kill others and then commit suicide.

>>81512022 (OP)
>Do you plan on killing yourself someday?
No too much of a pussy but if thing get even shitter than this I'm sure I can do it

>>81512099
>first you need to kill others
Why?

>>81512117
Idk just because. Out of spite.

>>81512066
this is about me, not this niglett

>>81512022 (OP)
Only if I develop an incurable deadly disease.
>I sort of settled into a dogshit worker-drone life.
I thought I'd settle into that too but I experienced the blissful NEET life for too long to adapt to this crap. My job isn't even bad but I'm taking steps to ensure I retire 20-25 years earlier than expected. If you don't buy a house and don't plan on having kids, it's actually quite achievable on an average wage.

>>81512022 (OP)
I won't have to because of my trash genes and lifelong chronic diseases. Live at an average speed die not too old not too young~

I watched that show like 3 times and literally the only thing I can remember from it is the attractive fish women.

>>81512022 (OP)
No, I'm under the strongly held (and borderline schizophrenic) belief that I will be severely punished if I take my life, so I'm stuck in this flesh suit for now.

>>81512022 (OP)
3 monsters a day, chronic masturbation and a horrible sleep schedule is already doing that
don't need to kek

>>81512022 (OP)
I do not think so because what if one actually goes to hell for that or something? Or there is some other punishment that is not as bad but actually makes me repeat the same sort of life again. I am agnostic so I have no clue. Time is flying by anyway. This life I am wasting will be over in no time.

>>81512022 (OP)
Yeah cuz eventually I'll have to face the music. no matter what I'll be dead willing or unwilling. Idk when that day is so I'm gonna try and live every day like my last. Still working doe cuz u need money honey.

There's no reason to do it, there's nothing on the other side.

>>81512022 (OP)
I no longer have a concrete suicide plan per se but I do anticipate that eventually I'll snap and kms randomly at some point. I imagine it'll be a rather anticlimactic and boring death.

>>81512022 (OP)
you will never eat them one way out my friend

out the window

>>81512034
>Nobody wants to kill themselves it just gets to a point where they have no other option

You'll all be doing it tomorrow.

>>81512022 (OP)
It's been all I've been able to think about for the past month and I finally made a plan. It feels a little surreal to finally give up and I wonder what took me so long. If you're not religious there's really nothing to fear.

>>81512500
I've always had a schizo feeling that if I kill myself it would somehow improve my family and friend's lives and restore their honor.

>>81512022 (OP)
no, i used to, but in a sense where someone would get a paycheque off me, and hoping the funds and the news would go to people who would be grateful for that sorta news, but i had a twisted sense of the reality or misguided impressions of how others felt about me, and i was stuck in the concept of, I need to live out my life fully out of penance of the wrongdoings ive done, and I'm not going to be a coward or take the cowards way out just because I felt overwhelmed by my wrongdoings, I will continue this life as long as the universe allows me, and I will continue to make better choices and learn the lessons in whatever tests God bestows upon me and my future,

Peace be with you OP, and other anons who are in a similar feeling like OP, WAGMI frens, that is my ultimate one wish for every living being in this reality.

Not really but I often think that it would be the correct thing to do because my life just never gets better and there's nothing I can do about it.

Maybe eventually it gets bad enough that I actually want to but it's so distant right now

>>81512066
I don't think I wanted to off myself because I had it worse than others. Life being cruel sometimes was part of it, sure. But it was also because, what if the world's better off?

What am I? Wasted space? Wasted air?
I failed an interview for a promotion at a job I'm overqualified for.
I bothered a few women because I wanted to try dating.
I've had at least two dreams involving rape.
I had a good career path in a place saving lives and I left because the people there took advantage of me. The same story could be said for several of my misadventures.
I trolled people online just to see what would happen. They became worse to online people.
I have a mental list of all those I hate and wish for revenge.
Everyone else isn't really a person to me. Just a cog in the machine that's either where it needs to be or will be when I move it. Assuming people to have agency, just makes you mad at dumb things done.
I did compressions on a drowned child last week. Not once did I care if he made it. I just knew I could do compressions better. He's alive and it's irrelevant to me.
Is any of that the thoughts of person who should be alive?

I don't really know the answer. I tried turning the question into math, but I couldn't decide on a good way to assign value to every action fairly.
All I know is that I have a dog to take care of for while and that's been a good enough reason to keep going for now

>>81512022 (OP)
im trying to make my own game before killing myself

>>81512022 (OP)
Sure yeah. Being schizo affective has fucked me.

>>81512066
>Sheeeeeit cracka you's life ain't as bad as mine!!! Quit bein a beetch nigga!!!

>>81512034
speak for yourself, lol
yes i would love to kill myself lol

>>81517788
whats so bad about your life?

>>81517807
Nothing? I just dont like life and am very excited for death, looks fun!

>>81512260
Yeh, Mutio is cute. I liked the human girl too, Murata never misses with his designs.
I recently finished it, pretty good watch and it's only 4 episodes

>>81517831
what do you mean looks fun ? what makes it fun ? i am kinda scared of the nothingness

>>81512022 (OP)
Yeah sure I'm gonna kill myself one day, but at least there is still time to enjoy the comfy life before I pull the trigger, no reason to miss out on the good stuff presented today.

>>81518111
it looks fun because they get to sleep forever after and never ever have to deal with the nightmare real word ever again, i like sleep, and i dont like being awake, so......yeah, lets die!

>>81518123
the world is a nightmare if you refuse to be part of it.

its definitely on the books, i imagine life will only get worse, and there is a point where it wont be worth living. first, gotta wait for my folks to die.

and...they are incredibly healthy people. im legitimently concerned i will accidentally die before them by my own hand, BEFORE they die, which freaks me out a bit. i mean, it wont matter at that point, ill be dead, but still.

>>81518266
its also a nightmare if your poor, ugly, or born in the 85% of the world that sucks massive donkey dick. of course, its always possible to break through and escape any situation and live a proper, happy life.

its just as statistically as likely as winning the lottery. so when those guys, like this anon im replying to, says shit like he did, what hes really saying is
>just win the lottery, bro

>>81518374
life is garbage and it is a big ball of suck, but among the suck there can be some good small happy moments. the people in the shithole parts of earth tend to be happier than us in the richer part of the world. their lives are shit but they are able to appreciate the small joys in life like kicking a ball around with their friends. people can do nothing and pretend that doing nothing is an option to avoid the nightmare. trying to avoid the nightmare means avoiding the happy things though. for a while this lifestyle may work but one day reality blindsides them and knocks them on their ass. they may have shut themselves out from life but life still is running in the background. there is no pause. you wake up one day years later in a much worse nightmare when life comes to collect it's debt, only now you are alone broke and disabled from ignoring yourself.

>>81518397
sure. but therein lies the same problem. there ARE indeed, millions, tens of millions...well, billions, really, of people who DO try, as hard as they can, because the alternative is "literally starve to death". entire landmasses operate on this logic. you think 90% of africa has support services and ebt and the dole and neetbux? fuck no, there is no "neet" in the sub-saharan africa desert. you think those fuckers trading ak's for goats have access to mental health support facilities? fuck no.

and what do we see? people dying, alone, miserably, clinging onto the very few support groups they managed to gather during their life time. its gonna be hard for you to argue to me that the people of africa are happy when the people of africa are also on the top 10 lists of "horrifying living conditions, human rights abuses, suicide rates out of the roof, living standards that make prisoners blush, nutritional starvation that makes anorexic white people look cringe....

like, yeah. you could make it out. the odds are overwhelmingly against you. time to flip that coin! ooh, shit, born with malaria in liberia, oops. better luck "next time"!

>>81512022 (OP)
i've felt the impulse a few times in recent years but i'd need a gun in that moment and don't own one, i'm a miserable friendless permaneet and i've just been waiting for the end since 11 years old, the nice thing about no immortality in my lifetime is i don't ever have to summon up the drive to end it myself, very cool

>>81512022 (OP)
>Do you plan on killing yourself someday?
Depends entirely on my wife and mother status when I hit age 40. Wife is real and mother still alive? Stay alive. No wife and mother has passed? Alcohol fueled suicide by handgun. Literally nothing to live for at that point. I'm an American in a household with multiple firearms so I can exit whenever I feel like it.

>>81518498
people in these hellholes are still happier overall than we are in spite of their lives being horrifically awful and cut brutally short. the poorest country on the face of the earth is Burundi, and yet the likelihood you will commit suicide in the United States or even Finland is more than double. why is that? why does liberia have a suicide rate in the lower half of the world average and the US is the 31st highest? why does the country with the highest murder rate on earth Jamacia have one of the lowest suicide rates on earth? you equate having a life full of struggling and enduring suffering to an unhappy life when they are not the same. they are the same to us because our expectations are unrealistic and the society we come from tells us only our feelings matter and we are the main character, instead of telling us our community, family, friends, and partners matter and we are element in a web that's interconnected. this was my point. we are miserable because we were not equipped to handle the reality that life is suffering outside of the joys you build from your connections and were spoonfed brainrot to strip us down to being unique individuals to keep us from finding anything of actual value that makes us happy, all so that we buy stupid bullshit to fill the void. they meanwhile can find happiness in small victories and minor joys despite living in actual hell.

you were onto something though, there is no safety nets and other people depend on you. you immediately feel the consequences if you fuck up in their societies, in ours you don't feel the consequences of your actions until later on and the people dependant upon us are more invisible unless you are looking. if you live in the first world you already won the lottery, and if you do nothing with that opportunity you are throwing it in the trash. yet we don't because we are selfish and stuck in our own head, and throw a tantrum at the world due to the poison we've been fed.

>>81512022 (OP)
probably, I don't think i can keep up with it once i get real old, i'm good enough to be a young adult but an actual adult, i'm not made for that, not with what I have right now

I still feel for all the robots that have killed themselves, maybe one day i'll be with them

>>81518736
NTA but, The first world may not have death on your plate, but it does have a lot of fun substitutes. Instead of rending your body it rends your soul.

>>81518736
>people in these hellholes are still happier overall than we are in spite of their lives being horrifically awful and cut brutally short
i just dont think so. i think they have horrific, short, awful lives but are generally too illeterate and uneducated to ever put their suffering into a format that ever reaches the rest of the world. i think most of the world is silently suffering. its mainly misery. but al-teketa, age 3 in shariza, starving to death, just one of 12 children of sheila talquininitua of the village bozerilieian, well, her, her kids, and the 2 fathers and one brother who fathered her children. none of them wrote this down. none of them had their names written in any registery. they lived, suffered and died. and no one knew. and no one will ever know.

>>81518788
you are right. the first world does rend your soul, it bombards everyone in it with messaging about being selfish and only caring about their own pleasure. so everyone is a miserable shell seeking meaning in useless escapism. i feel worst for the people in the countries that are still impoverished but that are also adopting first world culture and business ethics like eastern europe or some richer countries in the third world that are rapidly industrializing. those people have the rended bodies and souls, and the most suicide on earth.

>>81518574
Only the bourgeois and the emperor want immortality.
What good would it do a peasant?

>>81512022 (OP)
NOT ON ITS OWN, BUT BABY, I'VE SEEN THE WAY THINGS WILL GO, I ALREADY SAW HOW THE STORY ENDS, NO REASON TO PRETEND IT CAN BE CHANGED.

>>81512022 (OP)
>Do you plan on killing yourself someday?
planned on killing myself in exactly a year if my situation hasn't improved

>>81512022 (OP)
>Do you plan on killing yourself someday?
Not exactly. I plan on getting myself killed though.

I figure if I can't die in a war of some kind by the time I'm 50 I'm just gonna start hunting pedophiles until the police catch me, and I'm not going peaceably. Alzheimers runs in my family and I refuse to die shitting myself in a nursing home.

If you make a plan for a specific age, timescale, or date you're probably going to pussy out and let life pass you by. It's very easy to ignore a deadline like that. You have to have zero hope for the future and a willingness to seize the opportunity to kill yourself whenever it may appear.

>>81518788
>but it does have a lot of fun substitutes
In the United States in current year you are 20 times more likely to kill yourself than to die of starvation.

Super fuckin weird right? How unnatural has our society become?

>>81512022 (OP)
>Do you plan on killing yourself someday?
Yep.
I already know how I'm going to die and I've known for a long time unless I'm in a car accident or something of that nature.
I'm going to hang myself innawoods.
Black bag over my face to prevent anyone but the first responders from seeing my face, and possibly keeping my eyes from being eaten by birds.
I'll be far enough out that nobody will stop me, but I won't be left out for too long.
I might even leave the coordinates in my suicide note. Nothing else. Suicide notes are gay.

>>81512066
>If this lady can be born into hell on earth and still be alive at 39, I don't think I have a right to kill myself.
Uh, you don't need a right to kill yourself. Just do it.

>You think life is bad? It can always get worse, so I'm just happy for the life I have as it's not the worst.
It doesn't have to be the worst. If it's not good enough, end it.
There will come a time when I conclude with finality that it's not good enough for me.

>>81512099
>Killing yourself is pointless,
Tell that to the thousands of people that decided to kill themselves. There's always a point.

>>81520323
We don't need instructions. It'll happen when it happens.

>>81520331
>Super fuckin weird right?
Nope.

>How unnatural has our society become?
Sounds preferable.
Starvation is a horrifically long and painful way to die.

>>81520930
It's an observation, not a set of instructions. Too many men say "Oh I'll kill myself if my life still sucks at X years old" when they clearly aren't actually going to kill themselves and just want to idly talk about it

>>81518498
>there ARE indeed, millions, tens of millions...well, billions, really, of people who DO try, as hard as they can, because the alternative is "literally starve to death".
Survivor's bias. If you lose the will to live in such a scenario, you don't need to kill yourself. You just stop trying.

>>81520955
You say "too many" as if this is actually a bad thing.
The implication is that you think they should either kill themselves or be quiet, but you fail to demonstrate the harm caused by this idle talk.
If your assumption is that they could somehow dedicate this energy towards pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and turning their life around, lol.
No, anon, depression is a lack of energy.

Once I can no longer live the neet life yes. I'm waiting for my single mother to die then Its time.

I have my Glock 42x ready for when the day comes

>>81512022 (OP)
my anxiety issues have severely warpped my preception of reality, so yeah. I have the ideation but i dont think ill ever be able to go through with it. I genuinely believe that everyone around me hates me even though my interactions with them show otherwise i am fairly popular in my circle and have to even silence my phone. But my anxiety has caused me to think irrationally to the point where i hate texting PERIOD. even though i have to text i hate doing it. i hate interacting through text message idk if it has to do with trauma i have experienced a few years ago involving texting or i have just gotten to the point where i dislike texting.
>inb4 failed normie
ive been using this board for about a decade.

I think the reality is i just wanna live a quiet snd comfy life. I wanna live in a house in a forest, have a small garden and decent sized land to practice my archery and bow hunting and have campfires every night. Read books by the fire(i love reading it helps me escape, the genre doesnt matter)
i often fantasize about moving to tennesee and buying land in the alppalachian mountains.(tenesse because they dont have income tax)

what makes this all worse is thag ive been off my meds for about a month due to health insurance issues. This has caused me to have mood swings, specifically anger. But i have to learn to deal with it at some point and control it.

>>81520994
I don't necessarily recommend anyone commit suicide, though I would never insult someone for making that choice. I think it's unbecoming to talk about killing yourself and not follow through with it if you really lead such a deeply miserable, undignified existence. It's sort of like constantly pointing out how ugly or diminutive you are. No, I don't think many men have a way of self improving out of their situation - I certainly don't. I understand the therapeutic side of believing that you always have an out, but it's plain that most people are incapable.

>>81521071
>I think it's unbecoming to talk about killing yourself and not follow through with it if you really lead such a deeply miserable, undignified existence.
This ignores the fact that everything within us as living beings works to prevent us from following through on suicide attempts. Watch how hanging victims "dance" for instance, immediately after they lose contract with the ground. Even if they intentionally want to die, their primitive brain takes over to prevent them from doing so.
If it is unbecoming of someone who wants to die, that's probably because they're not quite miserable enough to follow through yet. Doesn't mean that they're not going through hell.

>No, I don't think many men have a way of self improving out of their situation - I certainly don't. I understand the therapeutic side of believing that you always have an out, but it's plain that most people are incapable.
Suicide is an out, and accepting that can be therapeutic.

>>81521071
I can break out of sleep paralysis and I'll break out of here too. just need to do a few things before I wrap it up

>>81521195
I am not anti suicide
Personally, suicidal ideation could ONLY ever be comforting if I were ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT that I have the strength of will to abnegate and kill myself at ANY MOMENT. Really it's about as helpful as daydreaming about self improvement if you can only ever entertain suicide as a kind of fantasy. People kill themselves in spite of their primitive brains every day.
When I say unbecoming in the context of pointing out how ugly you are, I don't mean nobody should EVER complain about having been dealt a shit hand. But at a certain point it becomes this endless theatre of complaining about your nonexistent social value in one of the ONLY settings where it doesn't have to be constantly invoked or referenced. It has the ability to turn every forum that might have otherwise been interesting into a zero-barrier-to-entry content trough of navel gazing and self pity.
The closest thing to INSTRUCTION I would give is to be absolutely secure and confident in your ability to kill yourself and try to conserve what little dignity you might have in the meantime, if it ever comes to that

>>81512022 (OP)
I realy wanna shoot myself but I'm British so it's way too much of a hassle.
The goal at some point is to shoot myself over an open fire while high as balls.
I've tried to overdose but my resistance to it won't allow for it and going sober for 2 months isn't worth it.
I dunno, wanna leave a kick ass story into my mental using characters which are extensions of myself to leave a cryptic suicide note.
Reasons... because life is unporposeful when you take your body out of your thought process. I'm going to die anyway so what's the point of slow dying. Saving for retirement at like 60 is awful and not worth when you think at it. I'm 25 and I don't see myself growing to 40

>>81520944
>Sounds preferable.
>Starvation is a horrifically long and painful way to die.
That's not the point. The point is that society has gotten to a place where the lack of resources, which has been one of the most common causes of mortality in the past, has been almost completely eliminated. This is to the point where you are ~2000% more likely to end your own life, which through history has been an extremely rare occurrence, than you are to starve.

what a good thread
sad it was ruined by some person samefagging

>>81522094
>WHAT! people having le hecking discussion in my doomer thread?!? don't they know they are stealing attention away from my whiny self absorbed faggot doom post!
they all have different writing styles so they cannot be the same person you absolute clown.

>>81521611
>That's not the point. The point is that society has gotten to a place where the lack of resources, which has been one of the most common causes of mortality in the past, has been almost completely eliminated.
Lack of certain resources, only in a few countries, and with certain conditions.
The cost of widespread food availability in America has been that said food is goyslop.
Slightly more abstract (yet still crucial) resources, such as mates, have become more concentrated in the hands of an elite, and obviously many of the posts on this board are evidence of those that are left behind without them.

And I'm still not sure what your actual point is. You were calling this "unnatural" before, which is not something that we interpret with positivity.

>>81521321
>Personally, suicidal ideation could ONLY ever be comforting if I were ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT that I have the strength of will to abnegate and kill myself at ANY MOMENT.
Not sure why. People are very rarely desperate to die immediately at a given moment unless they're biting a cyanide capsule for der fuhrer.

>Really it's about as helpful as daydreaming about self improvement if you can only ever entertain suicide as a kind of fantasy.
We don't know that it's only a fantasy.
We don't know that we can or can't do it until we're putting the gun to our head.
It's not the kind of thing that people (other than you) write off as never to be done.

>People kill themselves in spite of their primitive brains every day.
Not many in the grand scheme of things. It's incredibly difficult to do.


>But at a certain point it becomes this endless theatre of complaining about your nonexistent social value in one of the ONLY settings where it doesn't have to be constantly invoked or referenced. It has the ability to turn every forum that might have otherwise been interesting into a zero-barrier-to-entry content trough of navel gazing and self pity.
I'm missing the part where it was stated that r9k's content is meant to be entertaining, and self pity to this degree is rarely seen outside of here. I don't think it has this ability you speak of.
Your earlier claim that misery only begets more misery is a stronger one than this, but this only applies to those that by some means would otherwise not be miserable.

>try to conserve what little dignity you might have in the meantime
Why bother? What does dignity bring us?

>>81512099
If you believe there can be an afterlife in which you get punished for for murdering, probably not.