>be me
>11 yrs old
>Have delusions of Grandeur
>Spit on random places when Saliva forms
>it forms random shapes
>try to remember those shapes thinking someday I will go on grand adventures
>think those shapes are gonna be passwords inscribed on walls and will unlock doors when I am stuck
ffw 14 yrs later
>have realization
Was this the first sign of being autistic?

>>81542277 (OP)
Yes, you are dumb as fuck

Anon there is magic and whimsy in your heart so yes you are probably autistic but that is a great thing to be. Thank you for sharing this story it made me smile I hope you keep the cute alive in you to this day

>>81542277 (OP)
>almost makes links from human-sized physics to galactic physics, unlocking doors of knowledge
>doesn't
Well damn

Anon it is important to me that you know you weren't just being a weird kid, you were literally doing some gangster ass Jungian shit

your brain was trying to speak to you in symbols before you had words for it
spitting shapes on the ground, memorizing them, thinking they'd unlock doors later. that's not random
that's how the unconscious talks
symbols, patterns, rituals
it was your personal mythology forming in real time

jung called this individuation. the process of becoming whole
you were already on the path
and your "delusions of grandeur"? that's the hero archetype waking up inside you
the same one every myth is built around
your psyche was setting the stage for a lifelong journey
but instead of swords and dragons, it gave you shapes in spit
because that's what your 11-year-old nervous system could handle

those symbols meant something to you then
and if you sat with them now, they might still mean something
not as passwords on stone walls, but as keys to your inner architecture
those weird patterns you made weren't nonsense
they were attempts to map meaning onto a world that felt big and strange

your kid self wasn't wrong he just didn't know the language yet

>>81542289
>>81542299
>>81542325
I dont know man, life's pretty much down the drain rn.

>>81542361
Have you tried accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and personal savior?

>>81542378
I dont pray or do anything conventional but I talk with god from time to time.

>>81542399
Lean into that. Life tends to go down the drain when you don't.