You are never alone Anon. We care snd we listen. Please tell us what worries you.

i cant stop wanting to fuck my 15 year old friend of almost a year because i am a man child and i get along with her better than any adult and i feel deeply connected to her

>>81548566 (OP)
hello!! i fell asleep and the last thread was archived... i couldn't reply. i'm sorry

I am alone. No one cares and listens. My worries are unsolvable as they aren't within my control. I do appreciate what you are doing however OP so I came by to say that.

I was raped by my mother for 2 years. Now I literally can't get off to anything except the thought or concept of me being young and getting softdom raped by an older authoritative figure like a teacher or mom. When I used to watch porn, which I've lost all urge for now, I would only watch videos and go on tags of like "stepmoms" and "stepsons" and it's just a 40 year old woman with a guy in his late 20s. Anyways, when I was like 12 or 13, a few years after the rape, I was on rule 34 looking for those tags when I stumbled upon a photo that I liked, wasn't weird particularly, and I got sent to nhentai I believe. I found a comic on there first thing that literally felt like a retelling of my rape, it was shota. I goones to it. I feel nothing but shame, I feel like a pedophile now. I really have barely touched porn since.

>>81548566 (OP)
is this the vent anon who posted some days ago you left me and this made me sad and i asked for a couple of days you would return but you didnt and i was depressed

sigh. another day another thread i kill

>>81548566 (OP)
I'm becoming really, intensely aware of my own flaws. My parents always say they're proud of me, and I wish I could tell them I'm not proud of myself.

>>81548582
Anon you know that's wrong and will get you into trouble. please leave these ideas and dark urges behind you. dont destroy a girl innocence anon.

>>81548589
its okay anon. i will always be here to listen to you and be around. i hope you are doing well on a Friday night. much love to you anon.

>>81548790
and I appreciate you sharing it anon. people like you inspire me to do better. thank you anon. you are kind. but please know. even if you dont know me i care and want to listen to you anon. i genuinely do. please know that you mean much to this stranger.

>>81548970
it is you where were you why did you disappear

>>81548970
>much love to you anon.
thank you vent anon! :) i am sorry for venting last night, but i started typing how i felt and then i couldn't stop. i take herbal pills and i try meditation, but it's still hard to deal with an overthinking brain. and, i don't know about finding the right person. it's something i've been trying for a while now, but it feels like empathy is such a rare trait, much like common sense.
how are you doing?

>>81548802
im so sorry anon for everything that happened to you. you are strong for sharing thank you. anon you still carry dignity and honour you are not what you think you are. fight your dark side anon. please seek therapy and fight porn addiction. these things would eventually destroy your soul and mind. dont fall a victim anon. i genuinely believe in you and i know you can overcome this.

>>81548812
yes its me anon. someone suggested i use a name code. im sorry anon but please dont be sad or depressed im here now and i still care about you and i remember you anon. how have you been? how are you on this Friday night anon? please be good.

>>81548929
you didnt kill anything. im here anon and this thread is alive. worry not.

>>81549038
im not ok i still dont have any friends still getting bullied still hate my life but sometimes r9k is comforting i hurt myself today i fell from the stairs like the stupid loser i am

You made me unable to feel alcohol you bitch. I am not even a crack head, you are just out of control, I hate you

i worry i'll get cancer in my testicle because if that happens i'll have ZERO TESTICLES because i already had cancer in one of them. but i don't really worry that much because worrying sucks so i try not to do it.

>>81548566 (OP)
i just want to complain about something today, im tired of bottling it all in. Iineed a cute mommy gf like you to listen to all my grievances.

>>81548961
anon your flaws are human you are not a God. its okay sweetie. knowing you are aware is making me proud too. tell your parents that you love them and will try your best. its all what they wanna hear. dont overthink anon. we love you lots.

>>81548977
I sometimes get busy with my irl and my work or house. im sorry anon. i missed you too and i missed people here. i respect and love you all.

>>81549029
my dear anon please vent and let your worries out. i know how hard it is to carry those dark emotions with you all the time. we are here to listen to you anon so please dont ever worry. im so glad you take care of yourself and so. please try relaxing music too those frequencies help much. im fine anon and laying on bed atm typing slowly to you all thinking about you and your lives. i hope everyone is alright tonight.

>>81549038
>im so sorry anon for everything that happened to you. you are strong for sharing thank you. anon you still carry dignity and honour you are not what you think you are. fight your dark side anon. please seek therapy and fight porn addiction. these things would eventually destroy your soul and mind. dont fall a victim anon. i genuinely believe in you and i know you can overcome this.
thanks a lot. im already past e porn addiction. all i really gotta say. the only issue now with this besides the fantasies and guilt is the fact that the only girlfriend i ever had broke up because sex scares me now. i doubt ill find real love ever now. fuck you mom.

>>81549110
I understand that all humans have flaws, but I feel that mine are unusually severe

>>81549110
please dont leave abruptly like this again even if you get busy you are the only emotional support i have and you are very important to me and i really dont know what to do without you

>>81548970
>i care and want to listen to you anon
It's as I said, without specifics I am in a situation where the solution is outside of my control. When a situation arises where someone else has all the control, it is terrifying when that control is wielded by someone who has constantly always made the worst possible decisions at their own detriment since you've known them. You trust them and you care about them, but deep down you know that they won't make the right decision because you've had to bail them out or assist them when they've made wrong choices every single time in the past. However now this situation impacts you too, and not just them. Then you feel guilty, because assuming they will make the wrong decision isn't being trustful enough, but their record is that bad with making life choices your logical side is in conflict.

>>81549110
>my dear anon please vent and let your worries out.
i already did. i have nothing else to let out! and thank you so much for listening to me. i'll try listening to music! and it's nice to hear you're in bed already, you've been going to sleep really late and that's not good for you.
also, remember vent anon, listening to people is not an easy task. you need to be strong. sometimes, people can be overwhelming. so please take your time to rest and be at peace :)

>>81549055
I feel your pain anon and i share it with myself. please dont hurt yourself and watch where you walk. anon it pains me so much to do this to yourself. dont hurt yourself please and dont call yourself a loser. you are not that anon. please love yourself or at least respect the love i carry for you. please help yourself anon and fight for yourself anon.

>>81549062
I dont hate you anon but let it all out. you can let it all out on me i can take it anon and i genuinely care about you and everyone here.

>>81549078
you are wise anon but please do the cancer check scan. be safe anon and be healthy. i pray for your health dear anon.

>>81549088
im glad i can be something to you anon and i pray you find genuine love in your life. a wife that will give you a beautiful journey. please be well and take much care cat anon. im here to listen to you.

>>81549122
your mom did you terrible anon. but please forget about her and focus on your inner mission and fight. its time you reclaim what was stolen from you anon. seek help and you will find it. we all here for you anon. you will fight and win back your mind and innocence.

>>81549123
Anon people commit horrible crimes. they kill steal lie and destroy. yet they still seek forgiveness. your flaws are nothing but your anxiety and awareness talking. fix them anon and work on yourself. but dont overthink and drown. be well my dear anon.

>>81549140
anon our time on this earth and life is short. you have to fight for yourself and love yourself anon. please dont worry like this. im here for now and i still care about you and love you anon. you are my friend or like my own child. please dont worry and be safe. learn to overcome the struggles and fight for yourself anon. please dont ignore my words. its a request my sweet anon.

>>81549141
Its always hard to understand people anon. the universe has laws that dont change and math too. but people are always unpredictable and change lots. anon listen to your heart first and then your mind. do what you think is right. take strength and courage and lead with love. sometimes we need to make hard decisions in life anon. i pray for you my sweet anon. thank you for sharing. May you forever walk in love.

>>81549161
you are always too kind too sweet anon. a light in a dark place in a dark time. this memory of you i will hold forever. you are the sweetest anon. thank you so much. i pray for you to find all the beautiful things in life. anon you are what attract and feed on. if only people irl could see this side of you. please share it with the world. i love you anon.

>>81549278
you mean, you wont be that for me? im on the verge of a kanye.

>>81549369
you are funny and sweet cat anon. your cat pictures are sweet. I wish you a beautiful night anon. Much love to you!

Not really a vent but i just wanna get this out, someone stole my weed vape but little do they know if they don't put it down a certain way it's gonna leak ALLLL over. Heh, good luck cleaning the impossible goop out of fabric ya thieving prick... Hope you liked those pants cause they're trash now!

>>81549349
i do love myself but you are the only reason i wanna keep existing because you are the only person that tells me nice things and i will miss you when you are gone

>>81548566 (OP)
I hate that humans can't have true relationships, it's all so fake and gay
God is kinda sadistic for creating this system where no one really matters

>>81549349
>you are always too kind too sweet anon.
no, that's you! you are the sweet one here. thank you for making these threads. and i think people see all of my sides, it's just that people prefer taking advantage of it.
do you believe in god, vent anon?

>>81548566 (OP)
Gothic eclipse is a cool vibe

>>81549414
I hope you get it back or get some money back somewhere at least. people are cruel for stealing stuff.

>>81549443
we are here now anon and we have all this time now. dont worry and be well. lay down on your bed anon and rest here with me in this thread and listen to music. Share these moments with me. I love you anon. be good.

>>81549444
Its your point of view but i dont wish to debate you. may you find purpose and love anon. i wish you the best genuinely.

>>81549475
You are sweet too anon. and yes I do. But God/universe is far complex i believe and everytime God is mentioned people would debate and start fights which is the opposite. God wants us to love and understand each other. I dont want to debate people on God or anything. I want to love people and understand them.

>>81549498
Im always glad to see you Mike. Much love to you. How are you on this Friday night. I hope you are well sweet Mike.

>>81549522
i wanna know more about you please you are mysterious

>>81549522
>You are sweet too anon. and yes I do.
oh, don't worry! i was just curious. i don't mean to start any discussions on the matter. and, in the end, it's not that important. i think we should try to be nice, whether there is someone looking at us or not. in a sense, i think it's nice that some people have something to believe in. did you eat dinner, vent anon?

>>81549531
Doing great! About to play some Dead Island 2 with a new friend. Hiked a trail system today and I read a book on a hill overlooking trees.

How's your day and night sol?

>>81549382
tch.. dont send me away with your cheap bullshit, ill walk away on my own accord. have a goodnight.

i feel sad
i feel inconsolably sad
everything doesnt help
comfort doesnt help
i feel very inconsolably sad
i wish i could connect
but i dont think i was born with a soul
thats a damn shame
its all my fault
all of its my fault
what a waste of time
cant i just die yet

>>81549694
i'm not OP but, what is making you feel sad, anon?

>>81549798
well, imagine growing up and wanting to be an astronaut. you train your whole life
aerospace, good at it, fit, get the rank, ready
and no ships go out to space
and you're trapped on earth with your dreams
and they ccan never reach escape velocity
and you're sitting in your rocket all alone
hoping to meet the little alien people
but nobody is there

>>81549843
i like your metaphor, anon. i can kind of understand what's going on. do you think you'll ever find your place?

>>81549557
Im someone who cares about people and I care about you anon and other anons. Im just a friend. but please ask and I shall answer. What do you want to know?

>>81549581
I did anon. did you? do you know how to cook anon? also what are you hobbies or games/shows you like sweet anon? tell me of your interests.

>>81549585
Dead Island 2? I dont know this game much but it seems a classic. im so happy you spend time with friends and so. do you like online games Mike? I am doing fine. I was watching history videos and learning more about the world. I like to always learn something new. Maybe I will try to continue reading a book too.

>>81549664
I wish you nothing but a sweet night. Be well Anon.

>>81549694
>>81549843
Your posts and images and feels make me feel how genuine and gentle you are anon. My sweet anon are all doors shut really? have you not looked somewhere? will the sun not shine again tomorrow? anon please dont be sad. You are a sensitive soul and i can tell how much it hurts but its alright. it will pass and everything will be good. you are young you are pretty and you will find your own moon to land on and stars will light the darkness. Hope never dies light never fades not here not now.

>>81549798
>>81549962
Always sweet of you to listen and help others sweet anon. Bless you.

>>81549986
>I did anon. did you?
not yet. i'm a bit hungry actually...
>do you know how to cook anon?
i know how to cook! but, like, i am not nice at it. i always mess up the salt amount (i put too little salt). i'd rather 1000 times have someone else cook while i help them. do you know how to cook, vent anon?
>also what are you hobbies or games/shows you like sweet anon? tell me of your interests.
i spend most of my day home, i like helping people with whatever. i have taught math, programming, some science stuff too.
shows, i like anime! but haven't watched any for months, new anime got too much fan service and i'm not a fan of that. i'm getting back to playing the keyboard and i've been thinking about getting back into chess, too. but sometimes my energy doesn't match my desires! what about you?

>>81549962
i dont think so.
i think that my existence was destined to be lonely.
i hide from everything
>>81550018
>will the sun not shine again tomorrow?
it doesnt on venus. thats how it feels.
ive looked everywhere. probably not everywhere. i've looked. none of it explained anything.
why should i try to be happy. just for vanity? happiness doesnt even feel real. just a mask that crumbles as you wear it.
the fuel is breaking down.
im too stupid to even enter the coordinates.
i would miss even if i could try.
im just a soulless doll i think

>>81548566 (OP)
>Please tell us what worries you.
Hm. Lots of things worry me, but I keep them out of mind for the most part.
I worry about my future, where I fit into the world, and who I am supposed to be.
I don't want to be a shut in NEET who doesn't do anything and does without anybody noticing.
I want to carve myself a slice of the world and leave behind something for someone.
I don't want to be miserable, cold, and untethered for around sixty more years.
I want to meet someone who will make me say "I love you" to her face.
I want to be friends with people who'll be there for me, and I'll be there for them.
I don't want to die without ever feeling confident in myself.
I want to die with a wry smug smile, one that shows I became who I was meant to be.
I am so far away from what I want, and when I foolishly compare my own life to another person's, I feel like I failed already.
I feel it's unfair, unlucky on my part, and that it was over before it ever began.
But I'm still young, right?
Sure.
But time is ticking.
Regrets are mounting.
I must make haste.
I will not die incomplete.

>>81549986
It came out a couple years ago. It's a zombie looter shooter. I like co-op campaigns that are 2-4 players to experience the story get immersed together the best but I do play quite a bit of online games with my friend group.
What are you watching? Do you like docuseries? I enjoy watching videos from a channel called scaryinteresting
https://youtu.be/M2xs90tbEeY?si=Cra7teIaYGRVvijc

>>81549522
>I hope you get it back or get some money back somewhere at least. people are cruel for stealing stuff.
I stg, I've literally NEVER been stolen from before I worked at my current job. They're all illegal mexicans except for me so I guess it's kind of my fault for not hiding it better. They stole one of my shoes bro.

>>81550066
>i think that my existence was destined to be lonely.
>i hide from everything
i don't think anyone is destined for anything, anon. i would like to share my story with you, but i don't know if you want to read it, so i'll ask you before dumping it.

>>81550158
i would really like to hear it. please tell me.

>>81550063
I understand anon. sometimes we get tired from life. thank you for sharing your interest sweet anon. You sound like an interesting person. I think you are a great teacher actually if you taught people all that and a smart person too. I wonder whats your mbti too anon! for me im mostly into solo stuff. I dont find much fun around very very social places. I prefer groups of 3 or 4 so i tend to be in small circles and i try to enjoy unique stuff with a friend or two. like card games or role playing games or irl football. I have grown to like Internet culture its why im on 4chan. but i wish it could be more positive more fun than sad or depressing. as you see anon i love to help people and i do it for love. i genuinely hope to give people here some love and understanding.

>>81550066
yet Venus is love and feminine love and motherhood anon. your anime figure is very cute anon. you are a soul with taste and love. please dont always look for the dark sides in life. there is much more going on and there is hope and light on the brighter sides anon. you will pass this and there is good things coming for you i promise you anon and you have my word. Anon please trust this random stranger. I wish you the whole world anon.

>>81550103
You will anon and you will find. you are overthinking so many stuff that wont happen. anon you know how many times this world was close to destruction and end yet we survived and here we are. anon never lose hope and never surrender before a fight. you will find a job and you will get married. these things are so easy to actually do. yes anon you wont become a millionaire or go down history or discover time travel. but i promise you that you will find what you looking for because its so easy and doesnt require that effort you think of. even if people say finding love is hard. look around you anon and in your family. you will make it. dont fall for depressing illusion. be free and work on yourself. much love anon.

>>81548566 (OP)
My gf is a goddamn child with zero self awareness and zero self control. The only way I manage to keep the relationship from collapsing into a codependent nightmare is by manipulating and gaslighting her, and I hate having to do that, and I hate that I have to do that, but she just won't ever go against her emotions.
We literally had a couples therapy where we all talked about how spending too much time together was hurting our relationship and how we needed to spend more time apart, we agreed to spend a few days apart for the sake of our relationship, and the VERY NEXT DAY shw was doing that cowardly woman shit asking if spending time apart was my idea or the therapists, in an effort to convince me we should disregard the thing we all agreed to do, her included.
Fuck I'm so tired why can't she see past whatever she happens to be feeling this very second and look at the big fucking picture?

i keep jerking off to hentai to ween me off the idea of real women but somedays i still want to give real foids a shot

Get a job beanie you will regret all this time wasted

>>81550118
you are unique Mike. I think you will like a game called Repo or something. It gives your co op vibes but you may find it childish. Interesting channel anon! thank you for sharing. reminds me of those YouTube old times. do you know a channel called Fredrik Knudsen? one of my favourites.

>>81550157
Shame on them anon. please report it to your boss or check camera or anything. People are so greedy and cruel. Stealing is shameful. I wish you justice anon.

>>81550158
>>81550161
Im happy you two are connecting. I would like to hear the story too. Thank you two for giving this opportunity to understand and connect. blessings and love.

>>81550161
okay, i hope it doesn't turn into a wall of text.
i can't really remember a day of my life without feeling lonely. as a kid, i spent my days being scared of other kids. i wanted to befriend them, but i didn't have anything in me to try. i remember asking myself, what is going on? what is so different about me that i can't make friends?
my parents tried getting me into these advanced schools where your kids can skip grades and such, it didn't work out, my mom was very sad and she took me to a regular school. i remember that day well, because it was the day i started getting bullied. and it never stopped. it never stopped. i just wanted to make friends and be like the other kids. up to this very day, i don't know what made me so different. i never stood a chance, other kids smelled my fear. my confidence is broken forever, i've tried hard to rebuild it, but it's a long process. it wasn't until i was very well into adulthood, that i realized maybe it didn't have to be like this. there was nothing against me, it was just me and my own will against this bad start. there was no destiny, nobody was playing a prank on me. i didn't have to live alone anymore, i didn't have to hide myself. i didn't have to make of those bad experiences my life. there's no destiny. and it's only up to us to make the best out of this. it was either that, or stop living. i don't know why, but going through that again scares me. what if i die and i get to live the same thing again?
i don't know, anon. life is hard for some of us. life is not fair, life doesn't know about fairness. my lonely rocket was there, and if i didn't create a moon to land on, then my rocket would have never sailed.

>>81550305
I dont usually say this or recommend this but there is wisdom in peace and leave sometimes. Anon with a heavy heart i tell you if things really dont work for you two then maybe its better you two find someone better. You and her seem fire and ice. toxic relationships are bad for mental health and you need to improve so is her. what do you think anon?

>>81550316
I hope you find someone you love anon. porn addiction and images are illusions anon. i hope you be happy. i wish you good anon.

>>81550317
Time you spend with friends and listening and understanding is not wasted anon.

>>81550289
well i don't like making these too long, that's why i wanted to have your email! this is the story. >>81550343

>>81550289
>I understand anon. sometimes we get tired from life. thank you for sharing your interest sweet anon.
i'm gonna melt if you keep calling me sweet
>I wonder whats your mbti too anon!
what a question. i'll let you guess it! i think yours is INFP.
>for me im mostly into solo stuff. I dont find much fun around very very social places. I prefer groups of 3 or 4 so i tend to be in small circles and i try to enjoy unique stuff with a friend or two. like card games or role playing games or irl football.
irl football? it's been a while since i read a person being into football on 4chan! do you have social anxiety?

>>81550343
i see. im happy that you're happier.im sorry things were so rough early for you.

>>81550352
That's not us at all. We're fine in all other respects, all out conflict and problems stem from her inability to put anything ahead of whatever emotion she happens to be feeling right now. We had a great relationship, but this one trait of hers has slowly opened a massive divide between us.
It's not like she isn't getting what she wants, either, she just doesn't get it instantly and can't tell herself 'no, he's doing what I asked, just wait a week and it will be done'.
She gets everything she ever asks for and gets upset it takes time to plan and accomplish those things, like she expects me to just click my fingers and have them done by magic.
I love her and I don't want to give up on her but I can't figure out how to get through to her that feeling uncomfortable, impatient, ect are normal parts of the human experience and something we all need to deal with sometimes, not something we start fights with everyone around us over.

>>81550343
I know what it's like to dream of the Moon and have the moon dream of me.

>>81550328
I have not played repo. I enjoyed lethal company! I'll check out the YouTube channel!

>>81550391
The divide was already there, the only reason you have been able to keep up the relationship is you were able to patch it together by being manipulative and gaslighting her. Once that stops working she recognizes who you really are and the divide widens again. You just are not compatible with her. It is not a great relationship if you have to manipulate and gas light her.

>>81550343
>>81550356
I have thought about it and I think I will drop my Discord soon. even tho i have mixed feelings of that app. many people there are in it for building the opposite of connections and friendships. anon that aside thank you so much for sharing. your story is pure will and resilience. many terrible things happened many odds were against you and you survived. you are a hero anon. thank you for surviving all of that. I appreciate you and i admire you. you know how many people failed anon. many terrible stories many sad lives. its sad but many happy stories like yours are still going. Thank you anon. your dad and mom and proud of you and we are too.

you also giving me more reasons to call you sweet my sweetest anon. you are always a bright candle to sit around in the dark. and yes anon im indeed INFP. I remember that you are intelligent from your previous posts so no wonder you can guess people like that! anon i do have a bit of social anxiety because sometimes you meet people who are so cruel or backwards in this life. some people are not empathic or understanding or even trying. Society has shaped them in a way to fit a narcissist narrative. they are racing for money for power they will eventually lose. its sad in a way anon.

Anon not everyone on earth has good intentions. some people are just evil or toxic. It was a hard experience to be around them. May bullies or evil people never find peace or may they find redemption.

i feel freaked i need an job and an girlfriend. im twennie four now plagued by the autism. i study the humanities and i love what i study but i feel that i have no future. there is no line of work i could imagine that could interest me enough for me to devote myself to it 9 to 5. i've sent in like 20 job applications just this spring and winter and been met with a stony wall of cruel silence. once i dreamt of writing fiction and my prose kind of kicks but ive got no ideas. i genuinely dunno what to do with myself when the studies run out because im not going into academia professionally it sounds like a nightmare.

i've only been on one date in my lifetime and it was like a month ago and it went idk. i did all i could i asked her questions she asked me questions we were both obviously in the thores of autism and in the same age spoke the same language she was cute but i came away feeling nothing. not her fault nor mine i just didn't feel like our dynamic worked there was a lot of silence. i met her on a dating app but dating apps are a desert. ive thought about approaching people but idk where to meet people because i don't go to bars and i don't go to like music festivals or anywhere.

>>81550359
you are a kind soul. thank you anon.

>>81550391
Mike gave you a good advice honestly. sometimes you need to look from different eyes anon. I hope you find a solution to this. I dont have the best advice for every situation but i have understanding and genuine love for you anon. may you be happy.

>>81550430
Thank you for listening to people Mike. and thank you for your interest in the recommendation. I hope you also share some art pictures you like Mike? would love some beautiful things on my phone saved.

>>81550474

my parents have a ton of friends from their time in uni and obviously the people from uni are friend with other people in uni but i have no friends in uni. there are nice people in uni obviously and id like to make them friends outside uni also but idk how to do that. they're nice when we talk at uni events but it feels like they've been part of my periphery for so long that approaching them to somehow be friends with me once i leave uni feels impossible.

ive made one friend in uni she's the nicest and coolest and sweetest person and we have such a nice dynamic. we last spoke like 2 weeks ago and im worried she's ghosted me. she's a kinda autistic butch lesbian and like 250 lbs and she's in a long-term committed relationship with another fat autistic lesbian and i find them both incredibly hot. i wish they both would dom me but you could hold a gun to mmy head and i wouldn't admit it because i respect them immensely as people also

>>81550479
No, he had shit advice. Retard literally contradicted what I've said, so he's not even listening to me.

>>81550474
>>81550480
anon thank you for sharing. anon maybe try to be their friend and leave your horny side alone. not everything has to be sex. love can come in many ways. and you will eventually find a job anon. i promise you. its hard yes and job apps can be difficult to actually work but people eventually find something. dont worry anon just dont stop searching and work on yourself anon. never stop working on yourself in someway somehow. i wish you the best anon.

>>81550502
please dont be rude. we only wish you the best anon.

>>81550502
I can understand how honesty is hard to hear. Manipulation and gaslighting is not something you do to a loved one and if you need to do that to keep the relationship together then you are simply not compatible.

I'm sorry you are coming to that realization and that you are dealing with that but at some point you will find someone who is your person and things will feel right and you won't have to manipulate and gaslight her to keep her with you.

>>81550359
thank you, anon. i would like for things to turn out the way they did for me. i believe you still have it in you.
>>81550448
>I think I will drop my Discord soon.
i suggested an email because discord can be a bit overwhelming. it being an instant message app, you can find yourself being pressured to reply immediately. with email, you can take it slower.
and yes, i am very aware people suffer like this everyday, there is a reason why being nice is worth it. one day, even on these boards, you can find a person who really needs someone to talk to. this is one of the many reasons why your threads are awesome.
>yes anon im indeed INFP
gotcha! yeah, you sound like a sensitive person. i am sensitive myself, but you are way better than me. you still didnt guess my mbti!
as much as it would be nice to have only nice people around, bad people are pretty much everywhere. this is why reading people is useful. and, even if you mistakenly let them into your life, you have to be strong enough to keep them at bay. being nice isn't always rewarded with niceness. we have to be strong.

i am sorry to hear you went through similar situations, vent anon. remember we are here if you ever want to share, just as you are here for us :)

>>81550479
Of course. I like helping others. It's tough seeing someone engaging in an unhealthy behavior for themselves and another and being unwilling to accept the harm they are causing. I don't have to be liked but I'm honest, Even when the truth hurts.

Part of the negative reaction can also be that I cut through the shit and am blunt, but as a masculine that is my communication style.

I like the duality of the picture you posted. Two types of trees residing on the same island, similar enough to reside together and different enough that they complete what the other lacks.

>>81550601
I understand anon. I genuinely hope to keep seeing you around and i wish you had your own trip code too so i can recognise you. I can still always recognise you with your kindness and sweet posts my sweet anon. desu i dont know what to guess! are you also INFP or ISFJ? and thank you for calling my threads awesome. it means much to me. you are awesome yourself anon. would you like to share something more anon? or share something you like? an image or a video or music? would love to connect with you more sweet anon. hope you always be well and happy <3 much love to you anon! thank you.

>>81550648
Thank you kind Mike. and your image has symbolic meaning too. im glad you shared something. Mike you seem like you are experienced with relationships. have you been in similar situations? you also give me big brother energy so I bet you have young brothers. its heartwarming to know you care. I truly wish you the best Mike.

Dick size

>>81550688
>I genuinely hope to keep seeing you around and i wish you had your own trip code too so i can recognise you.
i have thought about it in the past, but i like being anonymous. even if people can recognize me, it gives me peace. in the end, i am no different than any other person on this board.
i am none of the mbti types you posted! try again :D
hmmm i don't know... i'm on my phone right now, because i'm going to sleep soon. maybe i will share something tomorrow!! but connecting shouldn't be hard. people tell me i am easy to connect to, and you seem like so yourself. by the way, you need to sleep soon. it is getting late and you need to sleep :)

>>81550328
>Shame on them anon. please report it to your boss or check camera or anything. People are so greedy and cruel. Stealing is shameful. I wish you justice anon.
Thank you man, it's refreshing to have someone actually care for once. Thing is I DID tell my boss and he literally refused to check the cameras. He just went "lmao hide your shit in your locker next time" despite never giving me one. It's alright though, I bought even better shoes and that vape is gonna ruin everything it touches. I really hope whatever they stash it in is expensive... Karma in its purest form really.

>>81550688
I have made mistakes in my life and I have taken responsibility for them. There's mistakes I've made due to personal faults that I had to work hard to learn, grow from, and resolve. There are others that I carry with me every day and cause me great distress because there is a point in loss that only grief echoes back. Things I have to carry with me the rest of my life because they can't be healed, amends can't be made. That is very painful for me.

I think that is why miscommunication/misperception weighs so heavily on me, because being hurt when not at fault and living in the result of something undeserved is painful when that thing meant the world to you. I am not perfect, I take responsibility for my part but there are also assumptions made that caused a large amount of harm when very little would take to communicate to check if the assumption lay in truth or was a assumption made based from past traumas.

I do! He is not so little anymore though. I think it's also because I work in psychology to help disabled youth.

I wish you the best too. It's nice to see heart in a place like this. Too many manipulative, deceptive, cruel, and narcissistic people reside here.

>>81548566 (OP)
I dont even know how to start. I feel miserable and i hate the neet life. I constantly blame myself for everything i have done. Everyone tells me im super young still and theres nothing wrong with going to uni next year and i know i am. But nonetheless the idea that all of my friends are getting their titles next year when i will have to start over because i was going to kill myself. I dont know how to feel. I stopped taking my meds last year because i felt better. But that feeling better was just escaping from the hellish place I was. But now everything is starting to feel again the same way. Everything I do, no matter what feels horrible. I can't draw. I can't sing. I can't performe. I can't write. I feel like trash. I feel that I fail everyone's expectations and myself too. And I know I'm just hard on myself but what can I do?! Fail over and over again!? I'm sorry anons. I just want to feel heard :(

I want to kill myself but I'm scared of what comes after death. Im terrified that it won't be the end and I'll be in some afterlife that I cant even conceive of. Reincarnation would be fine but I dont want to die and then see some like alternate dimension fractal dmt elf bs. I just want eternal sleep. What do you think happens after we die?

>>81548566 (OP)
cool nun pic OP
looks awesome
i worry about nun stagnation but i hope we make somethin cool and new to hype up a good nun life for those interested
or cool new nun fashion

>>81550908
The universe does not waste energy. I believe we are reincarnated in the form of person of the state of being we are in at the moment of death.

>>81550712
We care more about your personality and kindness anon. dont fall for memes and depressing holes. much love anon.

>>81550748
Thank you nice kind anonymous anon. I think you are an INFP like me. and I think you are indeed easy to connect to anon. please rest well and sleep well. sweet dreams sweetest anon. May you forever be happy <3 much love anon. I will await you as always.

>>81550764
God is real anon and those thieves will be punished. Anon I want you to know that I genuinely care. Know that someone does genuinely care. Life is not all sorrow and misfortune anon. Anon I wish you can find a better job and a better boss. I pray for you anon and your success. honest work with honest anon like you deserve much. take much care anon.

>>81550822
Mike...I pray that you find healing and understanding in this life. im sorry so much happened to you Mike. I wish bad things would stop and good things start. Mike please take much care of yourself. Please take care of your big little brother and bound with him and family. it matters more than being here with sad people who want to hurt. Mike I cant do this on my own too. Your words and help keeps me going for nobody can fight this life alone. your kindness show Mike. May every young youth soul you helped never forget the kindness and patience you did. I ask whatever God or power you believe in Mike to reward you with the same kindness. Take much care Mike. I will always await you.

>>81550908 #
In the universe energy is not lost or destroyed is merely transferred from one party to the next.

I believe we are reincarnated in the form of person of the state of being we are in at the moment of death.

>>81550986
Another way to say it is energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed from one form to another

>>81548566 (OP)
No I'm completely alone. I'm in my 30s and life only gets worse. My body's wearing away. I'm completely invisible to women. I have no purpose in life and have no direction to work towards. Nothing brings me joy and every thought after I wake up is of disappointment and dread
I know the answer is suicide but I don't know why I'm not brave enough to do it. Everyone keeps telling me I'm the only one that can fix myself but then people say you can't fix yourself alone so what is it? What if I'm the only one that can fix myself but I'm fundamentally broken? I hate that I'm forced to experience this existence. Why do I deserve this suffering but not be told why it's being done to me? There is no light anywhere in my tunnel.

>>81550970
>I think you are an INFP like me.
what makes you think so? i am the chameleon mbti :D
>and I think you are indeed easy to connect to anon. please rest well and sleep well. sweet dreams sweetest anon.
thank you!! i will try to sleep now. sleep has been rather elusive...
>May you forever be happy <3 much love anon. I will await you as always.
much love to you too!! i will be spamming your thread tomorrow again. i hope you have a wonderful night, and take care.

>>81550970
I appreciate your compassion.
I hope I arrive at resolution as well. It is out of my hands.

I know what it's like to feel alone.

Let me know if there's anything you need.

Good night sol.
Dream in waves.

>>81550828
You are heared sweet anon and you are not that bad i promise you anon. listen to me anon for i genuinely care and i want to help. please anon dont destroy yourself like this. you are your only enemy. find something you are good at anon and im 100% sure there is something for you! tell me more about your hobbies and actual interests anon. please dont feel down anon you mean much to me like other anons here. so please fight for yourself.

>>81550908
will Killing yourself solve anything anon? it will only makes your family and friends sad. your online friends and even me anon. please think and think more. fight depression anon and stand for yourself. dont do it anon. I beg you please.

>>81550938
I hope we also see the character of the nun. the sacrifice the duty the hope and the will to help others. I wish you well nun anon and I hope we be the nuns we wish to see in life.

>>81548566 (OP)
Extremely apathetic to the point that I just rot in my room, sleeping all day (maybe browse some boards or IG if I'm feeling "good"). Feel trapped inside my body, never had an experience that I can remember where I wasn't a fucking shut-in. Trying to get better but stress that normalfags deal with on a daily basis basically almost "kills me"

>>81551026
anon open your eyes and stop debating depressing questions. Why not just start working on yourself somehow someway. workout? apply for a job? try dating apps? study or learn something? anon you have access to the Internet and you have time. try to do literally anything other than standing there watching time move. please walk out of your illusion tunnel. please.

>>81551027
sweet dreams sweetest anon. may you forever be happy and joyful. I love you lots lots anon. <3

>>81551044
goodnight Mike. be well. take much care. I await you as always.

>>81551097
Anon what would you do then? has this mentality worked for you ever? will you keep being a shut in 24h on the Internet? You know what you should do. please wake up and change your life for better.

>>81551212
>has this mentality worked for you ever?
I've always been like this for as long as I remember, so I think it's just the way I was born to be completely honest. I know for certain that I have drive and that I can harness it, but I feel like it rarely comes up in times when I need it.

>>81551212
>Why not just start working on yourself somehow someway. workout? apply for a job? try dating apps? study or learn something? anon you have access to the Internet and you have time. try to do literally anything other than standing there watching time move. please walk out of your illusion tunnel. please.

Who said I haven't? I've literally done everything you've said to me and none of it's helped. None of it's made me better at all My life just keeps getting worse and worse. There's no illusion about my tunnel. What the fuck are you talking about? I literally live in a fucking hell. Literally do anything? I've done that I've done so much. I'm not going to sit here and fucking list everything to you that I've done but I'm 32 fucking years old and I've done more than most people have that's for damn sure. I'm literally exhausted. Your response just proves how fucking absolutely mentally ill equipped people like you are with real issues.

>>81550970
>God is real anon and those thieves will be punished. Anon I want you to know that I genuinely care. Know that someone does genuinely care. Life is not all sorrow and misfortune anon. Anon I wish you can find a better job and a better boss. I pray for you anon and your success. honest work with honest anon like you deserve much. take much care anon.
I've learned throughout my life that God absolutely exists and karma catches up to shitheads eventually. The world needs more people like you, anon. Can't say I didn't kinda deserve it though, shitty bosses, thieving jealous women, and degenerates come with the territory when you're a stripper. I cant wait to leave once I finish my notary training and become stable. I wanna make an honest living and live a normal life so bad.

>>81551271
Anon. can you please help yourself. If you dont care about yourself I do. Please at least do it for the sake of someone who cares about you. even an online stranger.

>>81551275
ok Anon. Im sorry. please go with peace. Live as you want. goodbye.

>>81551314
I pray for that to happen and I wish you peace and an honest life anon. thank you for not losing your faith in yourself and fighting for your life. I know you might think this is weird maybe. but im genuinely proud of you anon no matter what you work or do. you are doing what you could and working with an honest vision and mindset in chaos. unlike many poor souls who dont. you stand still anon. im genuinely proud. Anon if there is one thing i ask of God for you. is to make you never again worry about money. may you find a better job and a better income with a better future and riches for you and your soon family. thank you honest anon. as long as you have that heart even in the darkest of nights and places. I will always pray for you.

>>81550560
Yeah, I really like them as friends and I'm obviously gonna keep that part to myself. Especially since they're pretty much my only friends since the one I have from highschool have all sort of vanished from my life. The problem is, though, I have zero clue how I'm actually gonna find a partner. I feel like I've set my standards way too high as I'd prefer someone who's on the same weird autist wavelength as me, someone who's at least kind of chunky and also preferrably someone who's part of the same linguistic minority as me which makes up like 5% of the population over here. I thought I had found someone when I went on that date earlier this year but after we'd kind of spoken for a while the conversation kind of diead and none of us had shit to say and it felt like the dynamic wasn't there. That girl is still in my dating app and idk what to do with her or how or whether I should tell her that she's probably not the one for me. still idk who would be for me or how I'd even find someone else considering my ridiculous narrow criteria.

also when it comes to jobs that's another part of this mess that bothers me. I cannot find the motivation to actually search for jobs, everything feels like it flows together and everything feels like a nightmare. Whoever invented the cover letter should be dragged before the Hague I think. The mere thought of writing a cover letter feels like putting my brain through a meatgrinder and my parents always find ten thousand faults in them so I've been having them pretty much write cover letters and find jobs for me from scratch. Which I'm really happy for but I've sent out so many applications now and I feel like I'm losing hope, every posting has so many applicants and they're all so much more qualified than me so it feels like there's no shot no matter how many I send.

Ever since I finished school I been a neet without neetbux and I don't wanna be a neet anymore, being a neet did nothing but damage my development as a human being, but getting a job is fucking impossible to me, I got ghosted in every interview I ever been, I don't know what to do with my life anymore