>>81570552 (OP)
as a late millenial, my mom raised me pescatarian and due to lack of lard I grew up bisexual, young-looking and less than 6"3 like my dad who did grow up on lard.
I am a measly 6"1 lardcell now due to all this, don't be like me.
I just made pie crust out of lard, flour, and water. I'm going to make a pizza and some pop tarts. I'm going to crack an egg and add a little milk to make an egg wash so that it comes out shiny and golden brown.