Vent your feelings, order your drinks, pay with cash or cards

Suicide, arguing and fighting is against the rules of the feels bar

Things have been getting better, and I believe it can be even better

>>81580703 (OP)
I'll get a mezcal, neat.

Orange Juice, but pour in a shot of water and stir thanks barkeep.

you got any sugar free red bulls back there?

I'll have a corncob blitz

>>81580703 (OP)
I keep posting about how my apartment is dirty, and I need to clean it before I move out, and how I didn't do it. I didn't do it today either.
Let me get a dark n stormy

Uncorking fee for a bottle of maker's mark
Awful empty in here

bartender seems to have left early.
i think im gonna take his place to not leave u frens hanging, tho i dont know much about drinks

>>81581217
oh i can do that, here u go anonie
pours awkwardly and spills a bunch whilst shaking
>>81581265
ok that ones easy, here
slaps a can onto stand
>>81581273
corn cup blitz huh? sure okay
turns around and does something for a while, turns back with picrel and a smile
>>81581285
>need to clean it before I move out, and how I didn't do it
how much time do u have remaining to do it? maybe u dont really feel pressured to commit to it yet, its a common psychological thing to not do ur work until ur pressured completely forgets about drink
>>81581173
mescal... mescaline? sure here u go places a huge peyote infront of you

>>81582234
hmm. alright sure, hand over the bottle outstretches shaky hand

>gold digger trying to rizz me up in the DMs
i lost all interest after she said she was "a princess". gimme an old fashioned while i mull over whether or not i ghost her

>>81582566
Uncorking fee is just the expected cost of bringing your own drink into a bar or restaurant. . .

>>81582580
hang on a sec
pulls out a phone, and constantly checks it while making the cocktail extremely sloppily
here you go!
a-anyway
>>gold digger
>after she said she was "a princess"
how sure are you about that she is a golddigger, maybe she didnt mean much by saying that? what was the context?
>>81582627
w-well and i have to uncork it? right ?.. r-right?

I am unfathomably lonely.

>>81582636
>how sure are you about that she is a golddigger, maybe she didnt mean much by saying that? what was the context?
it was inferred from that statement but when i brought up that it's in line with gold digger rhetoric she went ballistic and tried to justify her decision to go for money over all
real sickening stuff

>>81582636
. . .maybe if it was a bottle of wine or anything with an actual cork.
I'm drinking whiskey with a screw cap.

>>81582641
arent we all? well do tell me more, anony. in what sense are you lonely? how did you get to this point?
>>81582659
i see, yeah that tells a lot. i think she cant really attain what you dont provide, anyway, do you just not want to waste your time with such person?
>>81582660
well ... w-will you need a glass atleast?

>>81580703 (OP)
Meh, kind of just don't give a fuck any more.
Pour me out a screwdriver and a pina colata, please.
Just going through the motions. Getting told I can't/shouldn't do what other people do.
I just wanna live a bit more. I guess.
Going to some music venue this Saturday. Going to have fun(I like dancing) and attempt to meet emo chicks. Most likely going to fail at that second part but fuck it.
Still need to fix or get replacement copies for WaW and MW3.
Fuck, I hope the dip shits don't send my buddy to that middle eastern shit all and keep his ass in Asia.
Ate a pizza. Life is good atm.

>>81582690
>do you just not want to waste your time with such person?
why would i waste my time on a woman who only cares what the numbers in my bank account are?

>>81582690
>glass
I'm drinking out of a trash starbucks cup, maybe a glass would be better
I've never been convinced of the secondary stimuli of things like whiskey stones or designer glasses but whatever
Just trying not to die today tonight whatever

>>81582700
spends a lot of time on phone with face getting redder each minute and cocktails progressing very slowly
alright s-sorry for the wait.
>Just going through the motions.
every day's quite similar, yeah
>Getting told I can't/shouldn't do what other people do.
hmm.. why is that? people can be quite unfair in their judgement, its not always best to adhere
>Going to some music venue this Saturday
oh great, would love to go to one, one day..
>Going to have fun(I like dancing) and attempt to meet emo chicks. Most likely going to fail at that second part but fuck it
yea, when you dont have expectations, you cant fail
>fix or get replacement copies for WaW and MW3
disks? havent touched these for like a decade, but i guess its for console and they lasted longer there
>hope the dip shits don't send my buddy to that middle eastern shit all and keep his ass in Asia
hmm, whats this about? tell me more
>>81582725
>why would i waste my time on a woman who only cares what the numbers in my bank account are?
true that.. i was thinking that if you make your position concrete and she still stays, she might not just be there for a chance at money
>>81582780
>Just trying not to die today tonight whatever
anything weighing you down and making it harder?

Mentally I'm at my lowest. I miss my ex more than anything in this world but a part of me knows our story is at an end, it's not the happy ending either of us wanted.

I'll take a buttery nipple please.

>>81582690
>in what sense are you lonely?
In all the senses
how did you get to this point?
Living in a city where I know no one, I'm planning on leaving tho. It's just tough to do everything yourself, not have people to talk to, no romance.

>>81582874
>alright s-sorry for the wait.
It's all good, my friend
>why is that? people can be quite unfair in their judgement, its not always best to adhere
Friend says in order to get a gf I got to do this this and this when his broke ass didn't and he no only has a gf but she's moving in with him. And my whole family is telling me not to dye my hair when everyone else in the family does.
>oh great, would love to go to one, one day..
Just type in local music venues into a search engine and see what pops up, man.
>yea, when you dont have expectations, you cant fail
Last time I went there I got some niggas to put me on their tab for partying HARD. My legs and feet hurt for a week afterwards.
>disks?
Yeah. Friend gave me his old ps3. Bought those two from GameStop before I switched over to a retro video game store that has INFINITELY SUPERIOR QUALITY CONTROL.
>hmm, whats this about? tell me more
Other buddy of mine is in the army cause he wanted to be ranger. Got stationed in Asia. And with everything going on in the Middle East I hope they keep my friend in his relatively peaceful station in Asia. Like, the mofo is like a brother to me and had me over for new years with his family during his short break before getting shipped to Asia. He says he just wants to finish his contract and GTFO afterwards. I miss my friend. I miss going to the range with him.

>>81582927
>miss my ex more than anything in this world but a part of me knows our story is at an end, it's not the happy ending either of us wanted.
breakups are the love's price and it is pretty damn expensive. its best if you dont have any way to see them anymore
>I'll take a buttery nipple please.
coming right up
>>81582929
>Living in a city where I know no one, I'm planning on leaving tho. It's just tough to do everything yourself, not have people to talk to, no romance
well, here can be a nice replacement for real life interactions for a while, even if its a poisonous one.
try not to get too stuck in solitude, because getting out gets only harder with time.
you think the new place will be different?

>>81582874
>harder
Accumulation of pains both physical and mental leaves me a wreck of a human with far too much insight into things that matter to very few
Afflicted by my circumstances and surroundings, seemingly every inch of gained ground comes at immense cost only to be lost instantly as a method of torturing my mind
I'm just fucked up and a bum

>>81582970
>in order to get a gf I got to do this this and this
yeah often i feel like attractive people literally dont comprehend reality
>my whole family is telling me not to dye my hair when everyone else in the family does
hmm, dye could be damaging long term, what colours from/to? why does your family do it and why do you want to?
>local music venues into a search engine and see what pops up
nah i live in a very remote place, there is nothing here, i wanted to go to eu where i could do that but that went to shit, oh well..
>Last time I went there I got some niggas to put me on their tab for partying HARD. My legs and feet hurt for a week afterwards.
ive never gone to a party, wonder how easy the shyness is to overcome.
>retro video game store
used to see these so much as a kid, even bootleg ones on every corner. def miss their vibe
>And with everything going on in the Middle East I hope they keep my friend in his relatively peaceful station in Asia
should be fine, the strikes on Iran were very much for intimidations sake, like there doesnt seem to be much chance for further escalation.

>>81583017
>wreck of a human with far too much insight into things that matter to very few
that resonates so hard, anonie..
>seemingly every inch of gained ground comes at immense cost only to be lost instantly as a method of torturing my mind
that, too.
the torture is probably mostly generated by your own mind, but that doesn't make it any less suffocating.
>I'm just fucked up and a bum
i guess try not to ever compare yourself to others if that makes you feel inferior. we all have our own fate, and any comparisons are just meaningless ego boost for the luckier among us

>>81580703 (OP)
I celebrate 6 months of sobriety tomorrow. I've given up entirely on the idea of a future romantic relationship. Because it seems like no matter how far I progress in my recovery, no matter how much I improve myself and my own spiritual growth, no matter how much I continue to fortify and solidify my morals, values, and spiritual assets of character, I'll still never be "good enough" for societal's standards because a semi-attractive, hopefully self-respecting female nowadays is very likely going to expect me to have a few certain physical/aesthetic/materialistic assets that "attract her" otherwise all of my own personal growth isn't going to mean jack shit to her. I'd like to believe that I can be good enough by just simply being okay in my own skin without having to live up to someone else's expectations of perfection when I've been taught the whole point to living the way I do is to grow along spiritual lines - because there is no such thing as perfection. Only progress. And if my own personal progress isn't good enough for someone that expects me to have materialistic/physical/aesthetic assets to "back up" my hard-earned spiritual assets, then I want nothing to do with that person.

I'm the one that posted the /done/ thread by the way. I'd much rather focus on myself, my sobriety, my recovery, and my spiritual growth as opposed to working towards someone else's expectations of me - especially when it comes to the notion of a possible/future relationship.

>>81583073
I'm beyond the point of seeing any kind of thread of fate between myself and others' paths. I am separate and always have been.
What was once human is now degraded into filth and nothingness and the human sight of the world will soon be obscured for all history.
I feel some mourning over this, even if it's not my sight being obscured.
Without a baseline, everything drifts off into that worthless blackness of solipsism and though I am jettisoned from the rotting consensus of other of the last so-called humans, survival doesn't matter much in light of such a loss.

>>81583030
>yeah often i feel like attractive people literally dont comprehend reality
That's the thing though, we're both average and he's crippled. I literally have to pick him up in front of his GF half the time and take care of him when he gets sick. I guess a "I don't give a fuck" dare devil attitude gets you far. And no he didn't recommend doing outlandish shit. His advice to me was to get a "cooler job".
>could be damaging long term, what colours from/to?
I have black hair and want led to dye it red or white. I thought wash off dyes existed and don't damage hair?
>why does your family do it and why do you want to?
Mom, step mom, aunts, grandmas do it cause they are getting old. Half sister cause half sister.
>eu
Europe?
>wonder how easy the shyness is to overcome.
Nah I was stilll a shy peace of shit. Just that one time the band's hype man liked that I could keep up and stood out I was the only one wearing white(baseball jersey). Still have no idea how to talk to chicks.
>used to see these so much as a kid, even bootleg ones on every corner. def miss their vibe
Well, the perk of having coworkers pay you in cash is buying most of the stuff you missed out on since when you're family gives up a handy me down red ring of death x box and nothing else. At least the psp lasted me 17 years before degradation.
>like there doesnt seem to be much chance for further escalation.
That's what I'm hoping for. Family are doomers(even compared to my ass). Like first time this shit happen back in 2018 I think when in Syria and Iraq us bases got hit and family was like ANON WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING SO YOU WON'T GET DRAFTED and I'm confused/annoyed the whole time. Then they were like MEH US SHOULD JOIN THE EURO WAR for some dumb fuck reason. And yesterday family went back to "anon we are concerned for you". Like in my head all I can think is BITCHES GIVE ME MONEY FOR COLLEGE THEN. Had to drop out since I couldn't keep up with the payments and other personal issues.

>>81583130
>I celebrate 6 months of sobriety tomorrow
i guess i shouldn't suggest anything alcoholic, then.. orange juice?
anyway, glad for you, that shit almost pulled me in as well a while ago
>given up entirely on the idea of a future romantic relationship
lot of us will have to find happiness elsewhere, the competition is just stupidly fierce
>that I can be good enough by just simply being okay in my own skin without having to live up to someone else's expectations of perfection
thats ofcourse possible, do you often spend time in places where there is plenty of women around?
>if my own personal progress isn't good enough for someone that expects me to have materialistic/physical/aesthetic assets to "back up" my hard-earned spiritual assets, then I want nothing to do with that person.
if everyone had a mindset like this, maybe relations would just be easier for everyone, many bend over backwards for the tiniest chances

>>81580703 (OP)
My hypervigilance got way worse and now I rarely get more than 6 hours of sleep a night. Up late again right now.

I'll take an old fashioned on the rocks, how are you doing tonight barkeep?

Im so sick of nightlife being dead or shitty from the god damn chink flu. Its been five fucking years. Nightlife has been getting better, but damn. Nowhere close to what it was.

>>81583188
>beyond the point of seeing any kind of thread of fate between myself and others' paths. I am separate and always have been
we dont see only the things that havent happened in past, but future ones are always uncertain
>What was once human is now degraded into filth and nothingness and the human sight of the world will soon be obscured for all history.
>I feel some mourning over this, even if it's not my sight being obscured
is this about others, or is this about you? im getting somewhat lost...
>Without a baseline, everything drifts off into that worthless blackness of solipsism and though I am jettisoned from the rotting consensus of other of the last so-called humans
i could never comprehend solipsistic ideas, they feel so limiting and narrow... there is so much beyond the border of our ego
>survival doesn't matter much in light of such a loss
survival and procreation, forced upon us by nature and not to be questioned. ive always felt that its quite a burden.
>>81583192
>we're both average and he's crippled. I literally have to pick him up in front of his GF half the time and take care of him when he gets sick. I guess a "I don't give a fuck" dare devil attitude gets you far.
could also be a unicorn "pity gf"? i think he is quite lucky.
>I have black hair and want led to dye it red or white. I thought wash off dyes existed and don't damage hair?
havent researched it much, perhaps
>Mom, step mom, aunts, grandmas do it cause they are getting old. Half sister cause half sister.
well i see why then, they are all female. not to say you shouldnt do it, but gender expectations and stuff.
gf could be harder to get also.
>Europe?
yeah, id visit italy for my fav metal band concert
>Nah I was stilll a shy peace of shit.
ur stories definitely dont read shy, but i guess shyness is a scale huh
>Family are doomers
its the news, they are made for people to be constantly in fear while in reality nothing ever fucking happens

>>81580703 (OP)
Can you give me some coffee? I don't drink and even if i did I can't fuck with no alcohol right now, I'm clear, the world seems brighter and despise the current bleak state of affairs I have faith, I have hope, I'll plant some shit on my garden again

Stay strong anons, it's an oddworld not an evil one

>>81583220
>hypervigilance
anything in particular that makes you worry?
>now I rarely get more than 6 hours of sleep a night. Up late again right now.
ever tried melatonin? helped my friend a lot
>I'll take an old fashioned on the rocks
sure, one sec
>how are you doing tonight barkeep?
im not quiiite the bartender and im not sure what happened to him.
i just saw an empty bar and... i guess im the barkeep now.
anyway this dead thread just looked like a decent opportunity to push my fear and practice interacting with all kinds of people, im severely isolated.
also it might help anons that need someone to listen i guess. win-win.
>>81583265
>Im so sick of nightlife being dead or shitty from the god damn chink flu. Its been five fucking years. Nightlife has been getting better, but damn. Nowhere close to what it was.
id imagine it would fully recover by now, maybe some just got used to lockdown and never returned, huh.

>>81583306
>could also be a unicorn "pity gf"? i think he is quite lucky.
I don't think it's pity. I hope it ain't out of pity for his sake. His gf tried to get me a gf, isn't really working out.
>well i see why then, they are all female. not to say you shouldnt do it, but gender expectations and stuff.
>gf could be harder to get also.
I was planning on only having my hair temporarily dyed for one night.
>yeah, id visit italy for my fav metal band concert
Man I ALWAYS wanted to go to Italy. Didn't really know they had metal bands there. Rich uncle who Italian(one aunt really lucked out) goes there often.
>ur stories definitely dont read shy, but i guess shyness is a scale huh
Mood swings I guess. Sometimes I can be the coolest dude beating up some asshole stealing shit(I didn't know he was stealing, dude just called be a bitch/dog in Spanish and I'm a self hating Spanish guy) friend's party and a few hours later revert back to being a nerd/weird ass scary quiet guy who can't speak to the opposite sex of my own age. Also have a hard time asking my friends to come to my birthdays. Never really liked my birthdays. And every time I try making new friends and I call back their numbers they just ghost me. Also I don't like the attention I get when I walk the family dog in public. Especially the one lady who keeps trying to get my dog to breed her dog. Feels awkward.
Think most of this stems from an old friend I used to have going full schizo(she was a cutter prior to the lockdowns) during Covid lockdown and ghosting me(and later the friends I still have). Where ever she is, I hope she's doing better. Also she tried to ask out crippled friends but he "no way, fag"ed her.
1/2

>>81583413
>its the news, they are made for people to be constantly in fear while in reality nothing ever fucking happens
I just stopped paying attention to the news myself cause having your stepdad imply you're everything wrong with the world for over 8 years and the weather men fucking up the ONE JOB they have turns you off of it. Like, I still think I'm a good person.
2/2

>>81583357
>some coffee
hmm, ill do my favourite one
>the world seems brighter
was it dark before? what made you change your view?
>I have faith, I have hope, I'll plant some shit on my garden again
would love to have one and find weirdest cool plants to put there
>Stay strong anons
definitely do that, anons^^
>>81583413
>hope it ain't out of pity for his sake.
i see, but even if so, its not necessarily a bad thing for him. but yea who knows anyway
>ALWAYS wanted to go to Italy. Didn't really know they had metal bands there.
some of the best experimental death metal stuff i know is from there
>Sometimes I can be the coolest dude
same, but i felt that only on drugs lol
>dude just called be a bitch/dog in Spanish and I'm a self hating Spanish guy
why so? did /pol get to you?
>revert back to being a nerd/weird ass scary quiet guy who can't speak to the opposite sex
maybe its just with women?
>Never really liked my birthdays
same, just always treated them as if they dont exist
>they just ghost me
shit that happens even irl?
>the one lady who keeps trying to get my dog to breed her dog
what the fuck lmao
>old friend I used to have going full schizo
feel like im that kinda friend to people, never ghosted people tho atleast
>she tried to ask out crippled friend
that might be a good proof his gf is not for pity, i guess
>still think I'm a good person
as long as you genuinely try to be, without ever lying to yourself

wonder what server hoster i could do 4chan captcha through once direct connection to sys.4chan.org here in russia no longer works, already having "Connection error" so often

>>81583515
>its not necessarily a bad thing for him. but yea who knows anyway
Yeah, he did join the army willingly so he knows the job hazards.
>some of the best experimental death metal stuff i know is from there
Any recommendations?
>why so? did /pol get to you?
Nah, I remember him clearly calling me perro and perra(dog and bitch) and his at the time gf was made a Oreo cake and I was the only one eating it. Plus me and him were drunk. Surprisingly I only been to pol once and didn't care for it, very boring board.
>maybe its just with women?
Kind of
>shit that happens even irl?
To me at least.
>what the fuck lmao
Happened to me twice. Don't remember of it was the same lady cause one time it was in the middle of the night and I kept trying to keep my distance since my dog does like strangers people and the guy with her who I initially thought was another buddy of mine clearly was totally different guy.
>feel like im that kinda friend to people, never ghosted people tho atleast
You seem normal to me.
>that might be a good proof his gf is not for pity, i guess
Alt chicks just like him I guess. Must feel nice being wanted by chicks our own age and not cougars.
>as long as you genuinely try to be, without ever lying to yourself
Yeah
What is the land of the Russ like?

IM SICK
With the FLU
Gimme some hot mulled wine with ACV and lots of cinnamon and cloves!

>>81583654
>Any recommendations?
hmm, for italian stuff from the top of my head i love
Adnauseam - if you are as much into experimental shit as i am, my fav thing ever
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dDX_mdFNRco
Ephel Duath - more jazzy, weird yet simpler?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6QQdmBN2Zbg
Fleshgod Apocalypse - more normal, still nasty
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=frmZbSII87Q
>him clearly calling me perro and perra(dog and bitch) and his at the time gf was made a Oreo cake and I was the only one eating it.
sounds very random, like was his motivation the cake lol?
>You seem normal to me.
its cos u dont know me enough
>What is the land of the Russ like?
totally shit, id leave if i had a reason to care to be in a better place
>Happened to me twice. Don't remember of it was the same lady cause one time it was in the middle of the night and I kept trying to keep my distance since my dog does like strangers people
doesnt sound as weird now i think
>>81583753
>IM SICK
>With the FLU
did you have a fever dream yet? love me those. they almost make me like being sick
>Gimme some hot mulled wine with ACV and lots of cinnamon and cloves!
sure anonie, but watch out, its really hot. dont get your tongue burnt!

Holy shit it's about to be july already. Half the year wasted spinning my wheels. Fucking kill me

>>81580703 (OP)
i'll take some raspberry iced tea please
just worried about the future. specifically, if i'll make it in my aspiring career. i want to make my parents proud

>>81583885
>spinning my wheels
what do u mean by that?
>>81583915
>i'll take some raspberry iced tea please
coming right up, anonie
>if i'll make it in my aspiring career
whats the career? how u doing at it rn?
make sure not to get burnt out, it can be pretty subtle

>>81583952
>whats the career?
AI Engineering. i just find it interesting
>how u doing at it rn?
alright. it's overwhelming but i'll pull through. sucks for me that math plays a major role and i've always been weak with it

I don't care about pokeman scalpers and pedo catchers youtube stop fucking showing me this shit Jesus christ.

>>81580703 (OP)
whisky on the rocks for me, if only i could afford the whole bottle haha

June has not been kind to me, genuinely think I went insane a week ago
life has been a blur, all I do is sit in my room, do what's asked of me by my family and friends, and the rest of the day I just rot away

>>81580703 (OP)
A short blog post:

A sub 5 university cafeteria worker clowned me today in front of everyone for asking a simple, valid question, just to make his low-tier becky coworker laugh. I mog him in every way, his opinion means nothing, but somehow this still bothered me a bit. Like bro, why not just be nice, you're short ugly and getting old, you have zero chances with her anyway.

Thank you for reading my blog.

>>81583835
Thanks for the music
>sounds very random, like was his motivation the cake lol?
I think he was just a dick
>totally shit, id leave if i had a reason to care to be in a better place
Italy sounds nice. The pursuit of happiness is universal my friend.

Recently passed ten years since my mother died. It was so unexpected that it basically ruined the rest of my life.
Everyone who loved me is dead. My dad, 20 years ago this September. My grandpa, two years ago.
I'm now in my late 30s and literally just waiting to die, but wishing that I could at least get some unpaid sex in the mean-time. TFW still incel as fuck.

i'll just have whatever beer's on tap

next week marks 4 years since my dad passed
i went to his grave a few hours ago, cleaned it up a bit, said a few prayers
once i got home, cleaned up my house a bit and found his old passport back when he was in his 20's, and then found some photos of him in his early-40's

then it hit me, i don't remember what he sounded like
i have his photos, i have memories of him, but i don't remember how he spoke, what he talked about, i don't remember his voice... i think i'm going insane, bros

Bros...My GF has a breeding fetish and she rings me dry every time I meet up with her. I just want to cuddle, not feel like a dairy cow...