Good day Anon.

Would you like to share something? we would listen to you and we care.

>>81587799 (OP)
hi vent anon, i just woke up again. hellooo
i had very bad nightmares last night. how are you doing?

>>81587799 (OP)
it is... 1.30am in my country
i've been "ruminating" of sorts and i feel like it's finally clicked

I NEED to get my shit together, anons
theres no two ways about it - I NEED to fix my life, ain't no one there to fix it for me
My mom doesn't care for me, my siblings treat me like a retard, my friends only use me - and i've decided to be the "worse" man and just say fuck 'em
I've made up my mind to live my life on the 7 deadly sins
>the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long
and i'm fucking burning now, man

>>81587821
im alright thank you for asking sweet anon. but what happened? why did you have a nightmare and what was it about? would you like to talk about it?

>>81587873
then why you dont anon? what happened? is there something you need or are you struggling with something? Anon sometimes we need to sit down and observe our life and our choices a bit. Whats blocking you from fixing it? I would really want to know.

>>81587799 (OP)
Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for last time, I don't know if you remember me but I was the one that sabotaged my own relationship. I just wanted to give you the update that all is well and to thank you for your kind words. They really made me feel a lot less stressed about it

>>81588241
>im alright thank you for asking sweet anon. but what happened? why did you have a nightmare and what was it about? would you like to talk about it?
i don't really remember what the nightmare was like, but i remember it was about me not making a choice. it's been a recurring theme in my life, i always chicken out whenever i have to make a choice, and then i'm unhappy because of it. it happened again, not too long ago. does this happen to you too, vent anon?

>>81588241
June has not been my month, anon
i had to move back in and now i remember why i moved out, i genuinely think i went insane sometime ago - my mind is such a fucking blur

>>81588279
ofc I remember you anon. Like other anons here I remember them by their stories or kind words or the images they share. Anon I always knew that everything would be alright for you and told you its overthinking. Im so glad you two are okay now. I told you he really loves you and you do too just from your own words and story I could tell much. To know that I genuinely helped in a way is all what I need to hear. We have nobody but our own to help and reach to. I genuinely wish you everything beautiful anon. please always fight your anxiety and dont forget to tell him again and everyday how much you love him and he means to you. Much love Anon.

>>81587799 (OP)
My nephew is ill. He was vomiting and has diarrhea. Unfortunately, despite the little contact I have with him he managed to pass it to me and I awoke last night around midnight to vomit then I spent the rest of night and early morning vomiting every hour or so. I had to call out of work and I do not have any PTO left so I will not be paid for today. The vomiting lasted several days for my nephew.
Currently I have been able to get some chicken soup and water to sit in my stomach so I hope I do not throw up tonight.

>>81588298
No honestly. Do you regret a moment in life anon? a moment you left someone hanging or a fight you didnt help in? sometimes our subconscious does not heal from certain moments in life. please know its all so far past you anon. We need to heal and overcome this. if you hold anything in your heart and mind let it go away in peace...its okay anon.

>>81588339
its okay anon. June will end soon and a new month will start. A new sun will always rise anon. you are not stuck here forever. you will be free once again and everything will be good again. know that very well anon. dont stress yourself and dont worry. promise me anon? you can fix everything and you have much time left and everything will be good. I promise you from my side.

>>81588461
even if you did. everything will be alright anon. im glad you work and have a job and worried about your job. you seem like an honest person anon. please dont worry and take this day to relax. do you have any vitamins or medications? dont forget to also eat healthy bacteria. I wish you sweet recovery anon.

>>81588488
>Do you regret a moment in life anon?
i regret many, many things. and yeah, they are things that happened in the past, but whose consequences can be felt up to this day. i can let go, but my subconscious doesn't want to. quite the predicament... i am surprised (and glad) you have never gone through this

>>81587799 (OP)
i hate the person who keeps saying she wants a white bf then insults everyone calling them shit skin or something im ethnic and it is really demoralizing but im happy she doesnt have a bf and never will with her 1% standards

>>81588488
i promise you :)
thanks for having this sorta thread, reminds me of those Alice threads way back when on /b/
have you ever heard of him/her/them?

>>81588561
I went through it anon but it didnt stuck with me as much as you it seems. please dont let it anon. you were always kind and sweet anon and i can tell you are sensitive as well so please dont carry too much in your heart. Anon I wish I can help you somehow but I dont know what to do. Im afraid to bore you with my talk but i genuinely wish you good anon. you need many things i cannot do over the Internet. Love understanding therapy and to know its okay to make mistakes and you need to forgive yourself and let go.

Sweet anon
to be finally at peace
is worth every fight you must take.

>>81588647
anon focus on yourself and your and your life. Maybe if you tried to find love and improved yourself leaving people and their weird problems here forgotten your life would be much better anon. I genuinely wish you find true love beyond this place.

>>81588647
It would be disheartening to see brown women here have such hatred for their men if I didn't already experience it IRL. They claim their men are all self hating and have inferiority complexes then they act disgusting towards you IRL, on the internet, while lambasting strangers with praise entirely because they are a different race. At this point it's just another meh reason to hate living.
Have some faith that is just westernized brainrotted women though. I work with some hispanic women and though I only work with them, they seem much better than most brown women. Their only fault is eating and drinking a lot of sugar and carbs so they get fat.
Much better than the women in my family, the girls I knew growing up, and naturally infinitely better than women on the internet. They have a real job, most are in long term relationships with a hispanic man and half have at least 1 kid.

>>81588714
Thank you much anon for listening to me. it means much and I truly only wish you the best.

and no I dont know Alice. Mind telling me?

>>81588728
>I went through it anon but it didnt stuck with me as much as you it seems. please dont let it anon.
everything sticks with me. people around me, their feelings, those who i talk to on r9k, my mistakes, insecurities... i am made of glue. i dont know how to change it, but for some reason i think being like this is not as bad as i thought. i like absorbing things like a sponge so others do not have to deal with them
>Anon I wish I can help you somehow but I dont know what to do. Im afraid to bore you with my talk but i genuinely wish you good anon. you need many things i cannot do over the Internet.
you don't bore me! it's the opposite, i think i might be too dense and boring for you. thank you for thinking about helping me, if you were here i'd probably ask you for a hug.
what have you done today, vent anon? or are you working today?

>>81588728
i did find love but it just brings me back to elementary school whenever i got made fun of for being ethnic and this sense of just being unwelcome that i am receiving here
>>81588745
i think it is just some self hating girl and im using guerilla warfare tactics to make her leave i have a scandinavian gf but as i said it brings back bad memories

>>81588747
pic related
>same format as you
>vent threads
>cooking threads
>just your usual chatroom where everyone knows everyone
its probably been like 10+ years, wonder where dude's been

>>81588914
I would hug you too anon. please dont let everything sticks to you even if it was your nature. some people woukd throw nothing but negativity at you anon. you need to only glue what matters.

I would love to be your friend sweet anon. I have thought about posting my Discord before so please if you want to be friends or anyone here wants to then please add me on Discord. My tag is : luxsol

and yes im going through the day with you all here. and im glad i could share my day with all of you friends here.

>>81588944
you are welcomed here anon. you can think of us and me as your friends and I do think the same. please dont feel that way. you are welcomed.

>>81588986
10 years is a long time anon. I hope the nice Alice poster is fine. The image you sent do bring back fading memories. I think I remember him. He was one of the nicest souls on this website. He had a cute idea and his threads were many. I think I do remember him. I am glad you reminded me of the sweet poster.

>>81589617
we need more nice posters like you and him, man

>>81589636
I appreciate you anon. dont worry im here now and we are sharing this beautiful moment. I love you much anon and I wish you good.

>>81588518
I don't have any medication, I do not like taking medication. It's hard to relax. I worked last Saturday so I would have extra money then I get sick and miss today so I didn't make any extra money, might lose money if I don't work tomorrow.
I overworked myself Saturday to get the day over with and didn't work out at home because I was so sore. Didn't work yesterday because I wanted one day where I could lower my expectations for myself and just do nothing. Then I get sick can't eat and dead tired so no lifting. I'm looking in the mirror and it's like my efforts these past months to gain weight and build muscle are just gone byebye all that work, all that effort flushed away haha you'll always be thin and weak stupid. That's it I try and try and try and I just fail over and over and over again.
This nonsense takes it toll on my mind and I have trouble relaxing. I'm sorry I went on a negative bend there.
>i wish you a sweet recovery
Thank you. You are too kind. I feel a bit better being able to organize my thoughts like this and converse with you, thank you.

>>81589857
Its okay kind anon. thank you for letting it all out. I read it and im glad you are such a hardworking anon. please dont push yourself too much nor take everything slowly. Balance your stuff and you will find much happiness in balance.

Thank you for sharing with us anon. I appreciate you much. once you make a full recovery do tell us! we wish you good health anon.