Real narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, is characterized by fragile self esteem and low empathy. I've had this one antisocial family member, and after doing a bit of research, I'm certain he's a narcissist.

He's always creeped me out, and he really freaked me the fuck out several years ago, so I stayed out of touch with him for several years, aside from less than half a dozen instances in the past couple years and he hasn't changed one bit, to my dismay. I guess it's permanent. He can seem like a normal person, but he seemingly randomly gets really nasty and will try to antagonize you and hurt your feelings, and he will demand all your attention and emotional energy. He will lecture you for hours unless you're very careful and try to end the conversation, but this can enrage him, and you can see this in his face, and he will accuse you of being an asshole motherfucker and make nasty comments. When something is going wrong in his life, he will try to make you feel so sad for him and get you to do so many things for him, but when something is going wrong in your life, he will dismiss it, and there will be a nasty tone in his voice like, "Who the fuck do you think you are?" He will bring up things you did when you were a little kid or little insignificant shit from years ago, and no matter what you say, he will bring you down for it and tell you your apology is insufficient, he wants you to grovel and apologize to him like he's a king. He also wants me to talk to him much more formally than I talk with anyone else when most people would talk very casually with such a family member. Over the years, I had to learn to choose my words with him very carefully. I cannot talk to him like a normal human being, because he could randomly get enraged or go on a half hour bullshit rant where he tries to emotionally drain me. This man could easily destroy me as a human being if I let him, so I avoid him.

>>81597474 (OP)
I had an uncle like this but he was so self-destructive that he died in his early fifties from poor health and isolation. I sort of just learned to enjoy what aspects I could of who they were but I, and almost everyone, definitely did everything they could to minimize interaction with him. He reminded me of what the worst kind of 4chan user would be like. Had a high amount of intelligence obviously but was so socially fucked that he would never be avle to utilize it in any meaningful way. It was actually a sad thing to witness. Was completely reliant in my grandmother for everything and treated her like shit whenever he was around her. Always talked about how life was over for him but at the same time tore everyone around him down. I have tried but it is still difficult for me to wrap my head around that kind of neural set of behaviors. It is extremely bizarre. Maybe it is similar to how cucks try to destroy their own lives. Maybe it is out of their control. No idea. Every interaction with them was as exhausting as you describe though. Carefully curating every word as to not cause a complete sperg out. It was an interesting challenge though because I could see glimpses of a valuable human being whenever I could keep him on the right track. He would just always tear down whatever good behavior he did a second later though. My grandmother saw it his whole life. Even as a child. She was certain that there was literally nothing that could be done to change him. Some people are just mentally completely incongruent with the rest of humanity.

>>81597620
Sorry for the typos. Mobile fag slamming the keyboard too fast.

>>81597620
The guy in OP is my uncle, too. For years, he would always want me to refer to him by the title uncle, and would get pissed if I didn't. He always wanted for me to talk to him so formally. Once again, I have likely only talked to him less than six times throughout the past couple years, and prior to that, the last time I was somewhat regularly in contact with him was in 2019. I seriously avoid interacting with him, as I know he will likely say something nasty to antagonize me for seemingly no reason or speak in a nasty tone to me. He's always so angry. My dad, his biological dad, still interacts with him somewhat regularly, and it sometimes stresses me out. My uncle is also a loser and never gets anything done.