do you ever literally beg god/universe/whatever to die? i dont even do it consciously, it happens in my dreams too now

>>81598951 (OP)
Yeah I used to often but gave up when I never died. god/universe/whatever is such a sadistic dickhead

I say out loud to myself "kill me god" at least 50 times a day

>>81598951 (OP)
When I was around 10 years old I started to pray to God for death. When that didn't work I prayed to Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Virgin Mary, I even asked St. Paul to deliver me to the pearly gates a few times.
I stopped when I was around 14-15 and my younger brother died in a car accident.

>>81598951 (OP)
Yes.
Although it makes me ashamed of myself.
I beg God for forgiveness for wanting to die. Sometimes I feel too ashamed to even talk to him.
But I haye myself so much. I am tired of being alone. I should just die.

>>81598951 (OP)
Everyday of my life. I'm not even begging anymore, I'm demanding death. I've been drinking daily for 4 years now and somehow I haven't died yet.

>>81598951 (OP)
not religious but i have literally got on my knees and prayed not to wake up the next day before
if there is a god, he's a fucking asshole

When "you" die, another being will experience consciousness. "You" will not be that being, but its consciousness will be inhabited by an experient that will sense the world around them just as you do right now. There is death, but there is no end to life.

>>81599150
>filename
Where's Asuka?

>>81599284
thats not fair at all

>>81598951 (OP)
Its become like an actual literal verbal tic and I have to be very fucking careful not to let it get too loud when other people are capable of hearing it.

>Dear God of Life, I pray to thee and request:
>GO AWAY! LET ME DIE
Unhinged

>>81598951 (OP)
yes everyday when im in bed i repeat a few times "please please please dont let me wake up tomorrow" before i attempt to sleep . unfortunately no one ever answers to my pledges

>>81599338
i have actually done this
ill sometimes curl up in a ball next to my bed and sob while begging whatever creature forced me into existence to kill me or take me away

>>81599359
How is the God of Life supposed to grant a request for death? It's something that you bring upon yourself for leaving life.

>>81598951 (OP)
>>81599327
Started doing it recently
Get the fuck out of my house

>>81598951 (OP)
only a handful of times in my life, one of which was last saturday
>what happened
nothing ever happened

>>81598951 (OP)
Constantly, and if not to give me a miracle to get out of the circumstances causing me so much pain. He never hears my prayers.