Anon
please tell us what worries you.

we listen and care anon.

I worry that she has an idealized version of me in her head. And im afraid of her finding out the real me isnt all that great

>>81613279 (OP)
I have a silly deadline for an eng lit diploma and I'm notorious for procrastinating and haven't studied at all in like 6 months so I'm rusty.

I'm also getting married in December and the finances are really bad plus I hate a big part of my fiances family.

>>81613279 (OP)
hey, we talked about Alice in the last thread
>worries
i dont have anymore worries, i've accepted my lot in life so now i'm just cruising through and doing whatever the fuck i want

i have no wants nor desires and instead of being miserable about it, i've decided to have fun with it and just... enjoy the ride till the day Death comes knocking

>>81613279 (OP)
i do not deserve to be alive. my thoughts are too much. im selfish. im hateful. i cant live with others happily. im deceiving everyone who likes me. i dont want to hurt them but i know i will. i dont want to hurt anyone so im going to die before it happens.

>>81613279 (OP)
You study for 6 years post high-school in a field you do not even enjoy (bachelors and masters) just to end up at a job that pays shit and is boring. Furthermore all Ok jobs require experience, but so does the entry level ones. Not only that, but the housing market is horrific, meaning I will likely have to rent for the better part of my life. I know 0 women besides my sister, and none of my guy friends have any female friends, and so the prospect of me meeting a woman "naturally", without cold-approaching or using dating apps is practically 0. Also, getting my own assets like actually buy a house requires two incomes, visa vi I have to get married. Marriage however usually ends in divorce and a total ruination of everything you have built. Stagnant wages, rising property prices -- ALWAYS.

Dating is a fucking nightmare, and I just cannot.. I really CAN NOT do "all the things" pretending to care about her trivial garbage and just buying her dinners and so on. Why am I expected to, by women, simultaniously be very masculine whilst also being "emotionally mature" (this is just bullshit garbage) and pay for everything even though we are supposed to be "equal" nowadays. Why even bother??! Its just a hassle and I'm tuning out. I don't think its worth it -- any of it..

>>81613279 (OP)
I'm working myself to exhaustion every day for barely enough money to survive.
I don't want to live like this anymore. I'm sick of constantly bleeding money just to continue existing. But there aren't any other options.

>>81613371
You too seem to have an idealized version of her anon. Your post is ironic in a way. Dont worry anon and show her how much you love her. Its what truly matters.

>>81613403
worries will past but you need to study anon. its important to try to work things for you. I wish you a beautiful marriage anon and Im genuinely happy for you. its wholesome to see this once in a while.

>>81613404
I remember you anon you were sweet. but why the sad approach to life. please talk to me more and tell me why do you think like that. anon your post made me sad a bit. please have hope and remember that life is not all doom. sad moments comeband go. im sure you can at least do something you like or change your life a bit. maybe finding love? getting a good job? money will help you buy what you like. Death is coming yes but why call it faster anon. please have hope my kind anon.

>>81613618
anon this is not you speaking. this is your depression. please seek help if needed. you speak so much sorrow upon yourself. you are not all of that anon. why hate yourself so much? anon please know that even if i was a random stranger you meet. I still care about you. so please try helping yourself. I wish you well anon.

>>81613873
Anon I understand what you said and I dont want to debate you on it. but can you please try a different approach? does your sister like you anon? is there something in life you like? sone hobbies or interest? anon some things are not worth it to you but maybe you can find peace in other things. try something new anon or busy yourself with something. Anon I wish you happiness from the bottom of my heart. please dont lose your cool over things you cannot control or didnt try. anon there is always another door to open.

>>81613953
im sorry anon. life needs much money and governments want to buy more weapons. anon this is a solution but it will need a bit of work. anon please try learning something new. something that can get you money. there has to be something. im not saying anything hard or requires big money. maybe you will find luck in trading crypto or drawing or streaming or writing? there is a market anon and you can learn to have something of your own. I wish you good anon.

I just want to find a man who both I and my parents like who I can have children with. I doubt I will ever feel love again after my first love.

>>81613279 (OP)
Everything is stressful these days
Running out of time ahead of my big move
Struggling with moving out of my apartment
Everything costs so much money
I'm really in a pretty bad place right now

My parents do not want me edating again but where else can I find someone like me?

>>81614313
>please have hope my kind anon
ah sorry, you misinterpreted my post

i'm not saying i just wanna wither away and wait for Death to come
he will come yes, that is inevitable - but in the meantime i'm just gonna do whatever i want and whatever seems... fun
i personally dont have any wants nor desires but i know other people have them, and i'm going to give the people what they want

i bought a few skincare products, i've started jogging and lifting, i've started eating healthier and snacking on fruits/nuts
like, i don't WANT to do any of this but this is what the people desire so I'll just put on my custome and show them my performance :>

>>81613279 (OP)
>please tell us what worries you.
i'm too scared of death or getting hurt to take hrt and troon out

I only worry I'm not accepting of my position in life enough. I want to accept that there's no point in trying to find acceptance or love in this world so I can be free and enjoy my solitude like I did in the past.

>>81614447
Anon you will. please dont lose hope. try to take care of yourself and present yourself through social gatherings and apps. Make yourself there for a good man to find you. many men would love to have someone who cares about them and listens to them. know that you attract what you present and seek. so please help yourself and seek. dont lose hope and have faith. you are still very young anon.

>>81614472
im sorry anon. please dont think too much. it will pass. everyone must feel sorrow and hardships in his life at one point. life is all ups and downs dont lose hope. you will eventually pass these minor issues and be happy once again. find solutions anon and fight for yourself. never give up.

>>81614482
anon try social clubs or bars? you dont have to find someone like you anon. you have to find someone who likes you and you like him back. most successful relationships are unique not copy and paste. anon i wish you to find true genuine love.

>>81614498
skincare and sports are very cute. thank you for taking care of yourself kind anon. I hope you at least enjoy your performance. maybe you might enjoy it yourself too? I wish you do anon.

>>81614539
anon if HRT will make you happy then please take it. find your true self and dont listen to hateful people or stress yourself anon. if the journey would make you happier then its worth fighting for. dont give up on yourself and your happiness because of fear anon.

>>81614583
you are what you make of yourself anon. if you want to be alone then be. but know that you are still young and you can change many outcomes with work and time. effort pays.

>>81614891
>maybe you might enjoy it yourself too? I wish you do anon.
i'm not counting on it, but you never know huh?

thank you for your time, Sol :>

>>81614891
I definitely want to be alone, it's simply the issue of getting rid of my longing. I have to admit I've been feeling a physical sense of loneliness for a long time, there's a part of me that wants to be with someone, but even more than that I would rather be safe. So I would prefer to kill this part of myself and be alone rather than potentially invite drama into my life.

>>81614807
My parents do not let me go on dating apps as a 24 year old hag or bars for that matter. I miss my e boyfriend so much even if everyone tells me he is an emotionally abusive and that the girl he supposedly cheated on me with is just his alt account

>>81613279 (OP)
please take care of yourself out there, anon
rest assured i'm cheering for you and i believe in you, but don't burn yourself out, aye?
stay safe and hydrated, posture check too

>>81613279 (OP)
met a girl online and we grew close pretty quick, probably too quickly. we would chat, vc and play games alot. she would sometimes flirt with me, and not until recently i started doing so back to her. but now shes being very distant... taking a long time to reply, and never asking me to play games anymore.

i worry she got satisfied with having "won me over" and is done with me now

>>81614891
>anon if HRT will make you happy then please take it.
i'm just too scared to do it

>>81614915
thank you too kind anon. thank you for being here i hope to meet you always. i wish you everything good from the bottom of my heart.

>>81614924
you wont make it alone anon. please be reasonable with yourself. i only wish you to change and try to fix stuff for the sake of...you. to be completely alone and lose your desires to touch and be touched is losing a part of your humanity and what makes you human anon.

>>81614935
dont limit your experience and space anon. your parents dont have to block you from going to social clubs at least. you need to build your own life. but you seem unstable in a way anon. why would you accept someone back who cheated on you. why do you still live with your parents and let them control you. why are you unstable in your thoughts. there are many questions but you dont want them answered anon.

What if I'm in the wrong place, with the wrong person?
Is the fact I worry about that immediately a sign that I am? Is the reality that if not for her, I would have nobody? Why can't I want a future? I want to give her a life she deserves, but I find myself resenting her because I don't want that life.

>>81615120
I know I am unstable and autistic. My parents see me as a baby normies see me as a freak. I let him come back and break no contact for a day with me because he was more than just a boyfriend he was my only friend and he still abandoned me. Everyone always leaves except for my parents.

>>81615004
very kind post of you anon. you remind me of someone. thank you kind anon. may you find someone with your kindness. Please tell me if there is something you wish happening this year. I would like to make a short prayer for you if you would like and please. nevertheless. much love to you anon.

>>81615046
anon these online things come with many issues. would you try something irl anon? can you? dont limit yourself to online dating or friend making. it opens the door to many issues. sometimes we need to see and touch the person we friend or love to build real connections.

>>81615097
have courage dear anon. people fought hard for their beliefs and got hurt bad and even almost killed. its a fight worth having because after every war there is a big victory with rewards and joy. your future self needs you to fight now anon. please dont fear anything. have courage for a better tomorrow.

>>81615120
I don't care about losing my humanity in the first place. I always felt like it was holding me back anyways.

>>81615187
>would you try something irl anon? can you?
i have a hard time finding people i get along with irl. im not opposed to the idea. i do go drinking at bars and clubs with normie friends now and then, but i dont have any interests in the women there (not that they would give me any attention regardless)

i just wish there was an easier way to get in touch with reserved nerdy girls, and for now the internet seem like the best place for that

>>81615155
anon i dont usually say this. but it seems i cannot help or understand someone who doesnt know what he is or what he wants. anon you need to have a long inner dialogue with yourself in a moment of clarity under a beautiful moon and ask yourself all these questions. figure things anon and come back to us. we have answers for you anon but please find the question.

>>81615168
no not everyone anon. and please dont look down upon yourself. we are here to listen to you to everyone and not judge each other. anon please answer me honestly. did you ever try to build yourself emotionally mentally and socially before finding love? love cannot be built in a broken house anon. you need to make a nice room for it. anon nobody would love you if you dont love yourself and help yourself first. cringy it sounds but has much wisdom to it. please stand up for yourself now before you reach 30 or so. you have much much time but its dangerous to not move now. find a job anon find a flat to rent learn to groom yourself and seek inner peace or therapy. help yourself and a true lover will always show.

>>81615285
im only afraid you will regret this later anon. you can be whatever you want. but know it wont be good for you anon nor your mental health. please anon. change your ways and think good about all of this.

>>81615326
I don't really have anything to regret in the first place, I'm in my 30s. People have always been an impenetrable barrier, even in situations that seem good, I feel a rift, I know I don't belong with others. It's something I've known for a long time. More than anything else, I want freedom and relief.

>>81615296
I wish you to find what you seek anon. maybe there is different approaches you can take. its all what I want you to try. if not. then I wish you luck.

>>81615433
I want freedom and relief for you too anon. I wish you could find it without much pain and suffering and I pray you do.

>>81615187
>you remind me of someone.
well i've been here for a while now, was also a former tripfag just like you, but nowadays i have no need of such reminders

>Please tell me if there is something you wish happening this year.
then i wish for the safety and wellbeing of you and every other anon in this cesspool
anything else i can think of, i'm already on the road to getting it

much love to you as well, and once again, take good care of yourself

in the end you are my only friend

>>81613279 (OP)
I dont know. I just finished all of my countrys version of college matriculation exams and I dont really feel that happy or relieved, just empty. I realised that without all of the stress, because i dont know what they are like in other countries but theyre made into an enourmous deal in ours, i dont really have anything of value in my life. I tried playing video games, something which i havent done in years, and it just felt tiresome rather than enjoyable. Even indulgent foods just taste bland and tastless. I dont really have any friends whose company i enjoy to any degree. It seems like everyone else is going on holidays or to parties or to other occasions and i am just left at home with nothing to do. And I guess I am angry that my social isolation is not as a result of me not having friends but of not having any friends who i would rather be with than just being alone. Meanwhile the people who i would love to be with and spend time with want nothing to do with me and are fine with their company. I guess i will just lounge around for the next 2 months before university.

>>81613279 (OP)
I'm scared to feel empty again and I know I will but soon, but for now i'm chilling, just living by and not with a sad expression on my face

>>81613279 (OP)
>I'm 21 this November, work at a law firm practising in property law and do university studies at the same time, I will be a qualified lawyer in 4 years

The firm I work for is pretty shit as of late, there's been 24 people leave out of a firm of just over 80 since last Christmas, mostly because it's managed by the bosses son and the stress has caused people to have breakdowns.

The bosses son is a weird guy, openly talks about how women try to fuck him when he has a wife and kids at home, very immature guy and unprofessional to be around - constantly makes people feel uneasy.

Whilst I've been at the firm/in the area i am in for the last 9 or so months and i'm getting the hang of it, my fear is that because my scholarship is reliant on government funding on account of the fact that I work at a firm and work full time, if it all goes wrong with my firm - then i'd have to go through the hassle of finding another firm to take me on.

For reference, a firm I applied for only accepted 2 out of 300 applicants, so it's an extremely competitive positions, mostly because you get paid to get a university degree with no debt.

I work my ass off, to the point of exhaustion, mostly caused by dealing with very difficult and stupid people.

This week is my first time off in 6 months, and I went on a date today, and noticed that I don't have that spark I had before I started this job.

I feel happy one day and like hell the next. Chronic alcoholism and health condition, doctor says I won't make it long. Coffee helps but weed makes me diddly depressed and near death and alcohol doesn't hit the spot anymore. I am weirded out by my roommate to the extreme without weed. I hate dadmate and need narcotics to ease the pain of my health problems and his retarded bullshit. So many illegal narcotics as well, but I got nothing now but legal pot and enabled med junkies just ruin society, on quaaludes and shit and yet as a united states citizen, I know I will need meds I cannot afford from a medic not a psych and insurance does not cover. I want to ease into treatment but am denied for drug seeking behavior. Hospitals are full of people that hurt me on sight and help retards with sex so I can't go there for meds. Hospitals and hospice make me lick ass with no help. I have to seize when faced with it all and everything, I have a rapist and need help. Help. I need a better mom and dad but I am just retarded.

>>81615721
Thank you much sweet anon. I pray the same for you. I will go to bed now knowing someone out here is like you. Few nice anons make for the whole bad ones here. Please take much care of yourself anon too. May whoever in charge of our lives help us through. I wish you the whole world anon and more.

Since you didnt request anything for yourself. Then I pray for you to find a kind soul like yourself in your daily life to help you and be with you.

much much love to you anon and please take much much care.

>>81615726
you are my friend too anon. there are many friends to have. hope we both have many many friends my anon friend.

>>81615187
>got hurt bad and even almost killed.
yeah that's scary and not even the worst thing that could happen