>only evil hateful thoughts in my mind
>everyone i know still loves me and likes me and enjoys being around me
how and why

>>81643916 (OP)
You're not a sub5 male

>>81643916 (OP)
Same, there is a rage inside of me and it slips out sometimes, and yet still I receive nothing but love.
>>81643922
I don't know about OP, but I'm a 5 at the very most, there's no way that's the reason.

>>81643916 (OP)
I love Moomins very much
You're fortunate to have nice people in your life, you should let their kindness influence you

>>81643916 (OP)
i feel the same anon. i try to tell to myself that the thoughts are not me, but rather some other entity in my brain. besides, actions are more important than thoughts. if you still act with kindness towards others even though you have awful thoughts then you're not a bad person

>>81644011
Not OP, but what if you take genuine pleasure in people's suffering? What if you have to hide a smile while comforting them?

>>81644027
>what if you take genuine pleasure in people's suffering?
like i said anon, as long as you're not the one causing the hurting i dont think you're a bad person. if you do like when others are suffering (although i doubt you REALLY do because then you'd seek to cause it aswell) but still comfort them with a smile, it means there's still good in you. it just needs help to come out and overtake the bad.
i dont know you anon, but i will assume that you dont enjoy the suffering itself, but rather that the person suffering is experiencing the same pain you've felt for so long and perhaps feel like "its fair". its how i feel sometimes.