I am nearing 21 and have not been to college nor have a job nor any skills or talents. I can not drive also. I missed the last few months of high school due to a psychotic event though I did graduate. I could have gone to some decent schools but I fucked that up each time because I would just fall apart all over again. And to be honest I dont really care about college even though I know it is important I just do not care to take test and interact with insufferable people. Last year I tried going to cosmetology school because I thought going for a trade might be good but got kicked out so it just ended up being a waste of money. Aside from that for the past few years I have done nothing but scrool and wank off. I have become utterly depraved and in the process waste a lot of time and money and I have lost my personality numerous times and lack a drive to live. I feel so fucked up and I do not know what to do. I feel embarrassed by myself because I am a destructive nobody. I contemplate suicide but I know that will not be an escape but nor does living in obscurity feel good either.

Go study and don't be a creep so you don't get kicked out, simple

>>81661589
>study
I do not enjoy that I hate that

>>81660935 (OP)
>do you live with your parents?
And if so what's the rules. Or are they giving out unconditional love and you can stay as long as you want?

>>81660935 (OP)
how/why do you have a 'psychotic event' at 18-19

>>81661742
They just think I am depressed and want me to do something but I do not have the energy
>>81661755
I thought I was being gangstalked and people died because of me and they were going to kill me. Then I just became empty inside.

>>81661779
ever done drugs or other weird substances

>>81661779
Try getting a job first, before committing to college. It's a lot of money and they're are just asking you to do literally anything, so a part time low stress job would be ideal. Try a fast food place that's usually easy. Think Arby's, Wendy's, hardys, pizza places, ect.

>>81661793
Not when that happened

>>81661843
it's pretty extraordinary having something like that happen that young and without substance abuse
maybe physical/psychological abuse?
nonetheless I'm not qualified to give you advice on this
and those who are would probably try to troon you out or insitutionalize you lol
my point is if you can figure out how that happened it may have the same root cause as your other issues

>>81660935 (OP)
This is what happens when a guy doesn't have a strong male role model in his life. You need a father figure.

>>81661896
Perhaps you are right
>>81661920
I am too old for that

>>81660935 (OP)
You seem like a slightly edgy non-conformist type with a melancholic personality making you lean towards passivity.
Your melancholic passivity is a symptom of a lack of sexual energy, meaning you lack intrinsic motivation. The solution is to seek excitement that comes from danger (I mean real danger not roller coasters).

>>81661939
>I am too old for that
MFer I was 23 when I started getting my shit in order.

>>81660935 (OP)
I am 24 and honestly I think one of my regrets is not learning to drive earlier
if anything, if you can do just one thing, learn how to drive

>>81661843
please quit all that until you're at least 25
they irreversibly nuke your developing brain
you don't want that kind of debuff for the rest of your life

>>81660935 (OP)
I'm 28 never even had the opportunity to own a motor vehicle much less drive one.
I'm saving up to get a set of wheels soon though. Walking to and from work in busy roads isn't ideal.

>>81662175
it's fun, it has its highs
but many little lows, from traffic to gas prices to unexpected repair bills
it's one of the last, however neutered and regulated, forms of agency and freedom you can still experience in hellworld
no wonder they're pushing hard to take it away too

>>81662112
and you got a father figure at 23?

>>81662095
You're retarded. Psychoanalysis was a mistake

nearing 19 and i actually missed the last couple of yrs of hs to stay cooped up inside my room, my parents and family have pestered me about going back to skewl for far too long, i don't have any interest in life or people or anything, you could hand me a new life where i'm a rich chad from a 1st world country and i'd only take it so i could ruin it for a bit of fun.
actually listening to eurodance atm and i'm getting so emotional, just thinking about things would be like in a perfect universe, i'll just pretend i'm not alive.

>>81664291
>i don't have any interest in life or people or anything
Same
>just thinking about things would be like in a perfect universe
I do that often

I feel I am just waiting to die

start making music about it

And what do you want from me?