Anon

please tell me what worries you today.

I would listen to you.

>>81691433 (OP)
he seemed impressed by the way you came fashionable

>>81691433 (OP)
Whenever something nice happens--that rare time it happens--I get this tiny, insignificant spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, things might be alright in the end. But then something goes bad, even something small, and that spark of hope gets snuffed out and the black hole grows larger and hungrier. I don't know how to mentally keep myself alive, because I sure am not in my head; if someone would read or look in my mind they'd probably find a corpse.

>>81691433 (OP)
im bored and wish i had r9k friends to play games with and they were happy to see me when i come online and feel like part of a group

In a moment of extreme distress I over drank and ruined things with people to the point I'll never see them again. It's my fault, I am just so worried about them and wanted them to actually hear me and acknowledge me like they used to. Not an excuse for what I did, but it's the reason. I cannot help others when I have been pushed to the point I cannot help myself, I can only harm.

>>81691433 (OP)
money, work, homelessness, and destitution as well as the increasing price of healthy living
arteriosclerosis and organ fibrosis
heavy metals in my brain
ageing
in that order

>>81691442
:)

>>81691486
I see no corpse anon. I see just a depressed gloomy soul. Anon good things cant always happen nor bad things. Please dont carry negativity within your mind and soul. anon please have faith in a good future and work for it. what do you think will happen to you next year dear anon?

>>81691497
be picky with your friends anon. a good r9k friend is rare to find. many r9k users are not good friends. do you have discord anon? try searching in nice comfy gaming servers. dont limit yourself to r9k. with a month or two...you can call someone a friend from there.

>>81691497
in my personal experience, r9k people don't really want to make friends, they just want to receive attention (and not give any in return) so it's really hard to form a bond

>>81691486
There is no life. There is only death.
We can only hope that the universe will experience some sort of wipe out event, so that nothing is left of us.
I don't want death. I want nothing.

>>81691433 (OP)
Another day and still no gf to smell panties from, i might kms soon if i cant satiate this need

>>81691500
then take a time to rest and help yourself my dearest. no need to stack your worries at your situation. Fight alcoholism and take some time to return to your mental balance. i wish you good anon.

>>81691509
lets focus on the first 3. anon can you use job apps and apply to any available position? start slowly and work your way up. if you cant and you are a neet try to get your neet money from the government. another solution is to do freelance work.

>>81691571
there is life. there is hope. there is light. you can be as negative as you want anon. you can lock yourself in your room and burn your life away. another will come pass you stepping on your ashe head facing the sun walking the path you could never walk.

>>81691611
show your good qualities anon. groom yourself and take care of yourself a little and try dating apps or social clubs or bars. There is someone for you. You wont find miss universe waiting for you anon. but you can find someone as average or weird as you who would share your fetish.

>>81691540
>I see just a depressed gloomy soul.
I am, that has basically been my nature since I was kid.
>anon please have faith in a good future and work for it.
But I'm exhausted...
>what do you think will happen to you next year dear anon?
I don't really know, anything can happen, and it's a "glass half-empty/half-full" type of perspective.
>>81691571
I still think death is where tormented souls find peace. But death of the universe...I don't know why would I want that? The universe is beautiful as is chaotic and unforgiving.

>>81691433 (OP)
I'm worried that a sea monkey like me will never be with someone.

>>81691670
anon please dont listen to depressed souls too. There is always hope. universe is beautiful and chaotic. there is always a chance a dice roll you can take. Dont give up on life in your 20s anon. at least promise me to keep going till 40 or so and see how things worked for you. all what you have to do anon is just fight a bit. get an okay job try just try to find love and take care of yourself. i promise you anon. the dice will eventually give you a good roll. i love you anon. please be well.

>>81691685
are you the last of your race anon? everyone here has 0 positive thinking. why do you all think the worst situation ever? anon ofc you wont find a Russian model waiting for u outside your house. but there is someone waiting for you somewhere. just help yourself a little bit anon.

>>81691632
4 Billion years of needless suffering!

That's what the sun did. Still sun-niggers like you will defend it.

>>81691729
its sad how you think anon. but for now. go outside and gaze above you. behold a beauty that you would never understand.

I have no friends and I isolated myself for many years. I actually wanted to be completly alone, like a hermit. I don't even have any social media accounts. I did a lot of healing and even enjoyed the solitude quite a bit. I wouldn't say I found my complete happiness, but I am somewhat happy. I am much more balanced person now, enjoying the little things in life. But now I want to step out of my cave again, to be creative, to express myself and maybe find some nice people to share my life with.

So I want to create new social media accounts, but I don't really know what I should name myself. I don't want to use my old online name anymore, because I changed a lot. I need something new, to start new life. It seems a bit silly as a name shouldn't matter that much, but it kinda matters to me. I don't know why I am struggling so much with it. I learned much about myself, but at the same time I feel I don't really have an identity.

Maybe I am overthinking it, but I need to get my name right first or else I can't step out into the world again. I've thinking about it a week now to come up with a good name, but nothing made me "thats it!". It's like am too much into habit living alone and it prevents me to commit something that gets me out of my comfort zone, BUT THAT IS WHAT I WANT......if I don't have to come up with a stupid name....

>>81691784
You know what? You are right. I'll just strap on my happy-helmet, climb into a happy-cannon and shoot myself into the happy-land where happiness grows on happies!

I should take better care of my appearance, talk to people, learn what they have to say. I'm sure they are nice fellows if you only get to know them, you know? Or I could just look at a tree and just be amazed at its beauty. Enjoy a good work-out, cook a delicious meal! Watch my favorite film or anime! Learn a skill! Find a fun and satisfying project! Play a musical instrument! There are so many ways to find joy in life and all I needed was someone like you to enlighten me about the power of positive thinking and changing one's perspective! Hurray! Hurray at life! Life is good! Life is what you make of it!

>>81691879
what about xXxPUSSYSLAYER69xXx

>>81691879
Then please let me help you anon. what anime characters do you like anon? we can try to see your personality and aspects. also please dont worry and overthinking so much. everything will be fine. lets get you a cool name now.

>>81691894
good job anon! hope you keep this up!

>>81691929
Thank you for your encouragement <3
The best way I could describe myself is with the mbti INFP.

I don't have a specific anime character that I like, but I tell you which anime I love the most:
- Shoujo Kakumei Utena
- Mawaru Penguindrum
- Tenshi no Tamago
- Ginga Tetsudou no Yoru

>>81691632
job apps are a meme
neetbux, which i don't get, are a pittance and preclude investing
you offering freelance work? let me just skip on down to the guild hall and take out a job
oh wait
i occasionally work and i have some money but i could easily see myself as homeless in a few years and i'm, ironically, far too mentally ill to navigate the institutions of neetbux - functionally all socialist projects do not exist to me outside of taxation because i will never be able to use them

>>81691433 (OP)
I'm old, and i made a lot of bad calls through the years. I work a dead end shit job which drains me of all my energy.
I'm struggling to improve my life but it is difficult. My other options are eventual homelesness or suicide so i'm putting all my chips on scraping by for now.
I don't have many friends, and i have a hard time making new ones. I've also been mostly alone my whole life so i don't know how people usually connect with others enough to become friends or anything else. I would have loved to experience a long term relationship once.
I just keep on going forward because that's all i can do, i try and fail and it hurts the entire time and it never works.
I'm not looking for answers, just needed to vent.

>>81691433 (OP)
I'm at a very weird spot in my life ventanon, self destruction is a core part of what makes me me these days, and my soul tells me both that I should engage deeper wit the stuff I do that damages me, and the other part begs me to stop and do something now before my time runs out, I don't know what is that something, I need true love, and I know I will never find it so i'm vexed

this pit's bottomless!! D:

>>81692007
>i made a lot of bad calls
I wonder what those bad calls were

>>81692076
Dropping out, missing chances, lazying around, not putting in enough effort, not seeing things through. I could keep going.

>>81692002
Thank you too sweet anon. you are like me btw INFP <3 anon you seem to have a beautiful romantic sensitive soul from your mbti and animes you like. its really amazing to find someone like you in such a sad place. please anon take much care of yourself and dont overthink stuff again. promise me to take care of a soul such as yourself. nevertheless...anon would a feminine name work for you or a sweet name? or something with emotional depth? sorry for the late response but i really hope im not too late. i have so much love for you anon so please again...promise that you take much care!

>>81692006
anon i promise you everything can be fixed. can we please first take action regarding your mental health? please talk with me anon and tell me if there is something we can do. to achieve dreams anon we need a good mind first. anon can you do therapy or self therapy at least? or stress relief ... anything anon. please tell.

>>81692007
i understand anon. and im not going to give you answers. i just want you to know that i read and listened to you. and i pray for a beautiful tomorrow for you. we love you anon.

>>81691433 (OP)
Im thinking now, logically suicide is the correct option, I was born ugly, short, stupid, depressed, forgetful. I cant re roll these stats because my doctor said the mental is genetic, so shouldnt the only course of action be to kill myself? It makes sense when I think about it, die now and spare myself a life of bullshit, or die later having suffered.

Curious what your thoughts are?

>>81691433 (OP)
Well, Anon...if you really want to know watch this:
https://rumble.com/v63dzx5-final-warning-dont-get-fooled-again-dr-mike-yeadon-toxicologist-immunologis.html

>>81693035
literally all of my problems would be fixed if i had a stable job which paid me 1.5x my living expenses net or if someone gave me like $300k
i dream of not being homeless, having a shower, and cooking tomatoes at age 80 that is the level of my ambition
i don't need therapy or navel gazing crap i need someone to show me how to get money from the world

>>81691914
Fellow yardigan anoy

>>81691433 (OP)
https://youtu.be/LvGk6vGfGRc

>>81692042
my sweet anon. true love cannot come to you in this state. love yourself anon unconditionally like i love you and your family. love yourself anon and then search for true love. falling into hols and pits is a part of every adventure and no hole is endless. anon...what if what you looking for is within you...what you missing is just finding an embrace within yourself. Be the love you need and others will follow your lead. i cannot describe to you how much i wish you good anon. i love you much anon. please take care.

>>81693075
can you at least hold till you are 40 anon. why call for something so early in life. wait a bit. maybe there is something for you? maybe you will eventually find a lover? maybe a better job? maybe a new hobby? maybe someone will come looking for you? nobody surrenders a war this early anon. i promise you suicide is painful and you will die in agony...at least die old around your family or kids or a lover or at least after a small achievement in life. please dont let dark thoughts control you anon.

>>81693079
were you the above poster? nevertheless how is your life Mike? any updates on your ex? hope everything is well Mike.

>>81693090
what is this anon?

>>81693114
thank you for the cute pic anon. you have a cute taste. if only you could see how you could use your beautiful side on yourself and mind. you wont be homeless anon and there is always hope. work and work hard anon...i know nobody likes working but you have to. life is too beautiful to not fight for. other anons here seek the unknown the beyond the darkness they cannot phantom. dont lose hope my dear anon. i pray for you. i love you anon....

>>81693130
what is this video anon?

>>81693035
Wow really an INFP too? Thats wonderful to meet someone like that here. Don't worry, I will take care of myself, but overthinking is sometimes not avoidable. It's just who I am. I hope you will take care of yourself too. I hope you are well and I find it very kind of you that you try to help others here. You deserve to be treated with love too <3

For the name, I'm not sure. I like something more symbolic. Like the juxtaposition of two words e.g. Shakespear. It's hard to guess if you don't really know the person. It's ok if you have nothing in mind. I surely find a good name for myself. But you made me feel better about it, so I thank you for that and for all the lovely care.

>>81693532
Maybe things could get better, but almost every human agrees life just get tougher as the years go on, I don't want to stay around for that. Life isn't even special it's something random thing that comes and goes. So all that's going to happen is I will get older, things will get worse, I will lose family, I will age, I will lose what little brain I already had, I can barely deal with this shitty body now when I'm in my peak, when I'm older and when isolation is more common for my age bracket I cannot imagine dealing with that. I know I'm too cowardly to kill myself now but I know that it's in my best interest to get into an quick life ending accident soon. Thanks for letting me rant, maybe I'll give two hail marys and a praise jesus.

>>81693634
none of that garbage matters - all that matters is convincing people to give you money in exchange for whatever
being good at things is completely secondary to being social and a good salesman and no matter how hard you try to be self sufficient you inevitably need money because all the resources were claimed long ago
i would love to work more but i do not have that luxury for there is no work for me to even do and i see no avenues to gain more
i literally cannot even go into the woods, build a cabin, and farm potatoes - i have no choice there than to wither and rot in public and shame if i should run out of money

>>81693532
>Were you the above poster?
My posts have the trip "Mike !!s1jEdTQxfFE" and have to have the "!!s1jEdTQxfFE" after "Mike" to show the correct trip password is entered.

I wrote
>Curious what your thoughts are?
Any other posts are not mine

Life is good. I'm about to take the boat out on the lake and swim.

There's more going on with the ex than she is being honest about. I added her on social on Wednesday but she did not accept it.

>>81693714
Your posts made me so happy anon. thank you much. talking and exchanging with sweet anons like you mean the world to me. Anon please if you would like. would you please add me on my Discord : luxsol. i understand if you dont want to or have your reasons but i would love to have a friend like you. thank you nevertheless <3.

anon what do you think of Sunspear? or Novabloom? im sure there is a beautiful name for you anon!

>>81693782
things wont be always bad anon. please dont do anything bad to yourself anon. i wish you well..

>>81693791
may you find finance and good income anon.

>>81693817
im glad you are doing okay Mike. im sorry thibgs didnt work with her. maybe you should let it go Mike or you should try one last time. i dont know the whole situation...but i know there is always something better for you Mike. nevertheless you are here and fine. thank you Mike.

>>81693532
>what you missing is just finding an embrace within yourself
there's nothing good within myself anon, if you were to actually know me you'll see that i'm just filth, i'm too dumb and too reckless most of times, but as always I appreciate the attention. So I'm sure that the "something" I strive to find is not actually within me

>>81694580
even so...I still think you are not what you say anon and i wish you well. please be well :((

>>81691433 (OP)
please take care of yourself, anon
there is nothing worrying me currently save for your mental health, once again

don't let the darkness swallow you, ok?
how have you been this past week, taking care?

>>81694929
I am anon and I think I remember you!
i was just applying a bit of skincare anon and chilling. wbu anon? anything new? i also want to buy some clothes online and maybe a steam game too.

thank you for your kindness sweet anon. you were always nice. much love anon. i admire you sweet anon.

>>81695021
>skincare
huh, interesting, what kind of skincare?
max i'll do is rub my face with an exfoliating sponge i use for the rest of my body as well, mostly for the blackheads on my nose but also for the pimples that come around here and there

>clothes
going out somewhere? or just ones to stay at home with?
>steam game
which one? i bought katana zero and subnautica below zero recently myself

>anything new?
aye, a bit too much to tell, if i'm completely honest
but to sum it all up, i'm this close to establishing a solid foothold on this new city i moved to 2 months ago
by next week i'll be somewhat financially stable

>i admire you
if anyone's worthy of admiration here it's you
i don't think i could serve as a support for so many people at once like you do over here, that's incredibly exhausting and impressive

>>81695107
for my skin i do some moisturiser and I spray a bit of rose water and aloe vera gel too. its important to take just a bit of care of your body and fave anon.

and for clothes a weird mix between alternative stuff and sports. I wear sport clothes for home and for hangouts mostly alternative or very formal.

problem a role playing game! my favourite genre anon is games like BG3!

i hope you survive and mange well in this new city anon! please try to make new friends or see your contacts. i wish i could help somehow sweet anon. ik how hard it is to be somewhere alone.

thank you anon. knowing people like you appreciate it is all what I need. i hope my words or my feelings reach anons here. i wish them all well. you too anon. wish i could be your friend. much love anon.

>>81695178
>moisturiser and I spray a bit of rose water
ah yeah, i used to rub some rose water on a cotton ball when i went sleep back when i was a teenager, good stuff
i should go back to doing that but i usually forget

>sport clothes for home
are they comfy? that's all that matters for staying at home, really
>alternative
i am completely clueless on fashion so you'll have to give me an example

>games like BG3!
rpgs can be really nice, and bg3 is a really good game too
it reminds me a lot of how dragon age used to be, back in origins
wish i knew more titles like those but none come to mind right now... hmm. maybe someone else can pop up and give us suggestions?

>try to make new friends or see your contacts.
aye, my mom and my friend have been keeping my sanity in check these days
not easy for me to make friends though since i'm a massive cunt to befriend, but i've been making colleagues here and there
it helps
>i wish i could help somehow
that's fine, i'll be ok, thank you for caring

>i hope my words or my feelings reach anons here.
they do, even if you didn't try
our words and actions are like droplets on a still lake, they propagate far and wide in ways we can never expect

>wish i could be your friend.
as someone said recently around these parts, it takes time
and again i'm a huge cunt to make friends with, despite outward appearances
still waters run deep and all that, but i'm sure we'll keep bumping on each other here and there
that should count, right?

>>81695276
then im glad I reminded you anon. please take much care of your beauty!

I guess yea! and they feel comfortable if i want to leave home with them on a hurry.

alternative clothes are just a fashion thing. mostly for parties anon or funny hangouts with friends.

hmmmm bg3 and dragon age and Persona 5 too. also i liked the witcher 3 game.

Thank you too anon for coming here. you seem to have a supportive mom. im glad you do. its nice to have a mom like that. do you miss home anon? or is the new city way better?

then im glad they do. thank you sweet anon.

ofc anon. this memory you give to me i keep within my mind and heart. fragments i collect forever. they keep me going and help me remember. to know that we share this beautiful moment here in this place in this time is beautiful anon. im not depressed or lonely anon...i just appreciate people like you and good people in this world. I genuinely pray for you and them happiness and blessings in this life.

thank you sweet anonymous.

>>81691433 (OP)
modernity has crushed my spirit in ways i can't even begin to explain. i have no reason to go on, but i do anyway. sometimes i feel a rage towards everyone as if i'm burning, but even that's momentary
if only you knew

>>81695422
its not peoples fault anon. please take time to reflect and chill anon. relief your stress and anger. dont hold it my anon. it wont do you good. if you got go burn...then do it for your future and sake.

>>81695379
>please take much care of your beauty!
lol, i don't have much to care for anyway (if at all), i just try not to look horrid
back then i did that mostly for the pimples since they were a lot worse, but nowadays i forget because i get a few pimples here and there only

>and they feel comfortable if i want to leave home with them on a hurry.
those are great yeah, clothes you can also leave home with
i always try to buy clothes like that
>just a fashion thing.
i still don't get what they might even look like, lol

>Persona 5
>the witcher 3
those are nice too, last persona i played was p4 so i haven't played 5 yet
the witcher is a nice series as well, and so is god of war
i also quite enjoyed horizon zero dawn, nothing remarkable but it was pretty nice
if you're into 2d ones maybe hollow knight or ender lilies might spark your interest
the last tomb raider trilogy was another one i enjoyed
lots for you to pick from

>do you miss home
not really, i thought i would but not really
home is here now
>is the new city way better?
in terms of public safety, for sure
i like it better here for a lot of reasons, but i'm still going back there to visit here and there

>im not depressed or lonely anon...
you sound like it, despite that
at least one of these two, or if you're not right now, you have been in the past
people like us only learn to appreciate others' time and effort when we've been isolated for long enough
i find your attitude very admirable, but i know one must sacrifice quite a lot to acquire it

here's wishing you all the best as well, anon
never forget to take care of yourself too, i know we can forget sometimes

>>81695452
see you in hell

>>81695422
and as for you anon, well...
it's like i told some folks before, life is like a really bitter cake with small sweet chocolate drops
most of it tastes like crap and will usually make you want to puke unless you truly enjoy such bitterness, but the sweet drops of chocolate taste so damn good that it keeps you coming back for more

we can all make dream bubbles around ourselves, the world may be garbage but we can surround ourselves, our environments, with things we enjoy and help us forget the storm outside
will the bubble burst? it will, several times, but everytime you can make it a bit more durable than before, eventually it'll get to a point where it'll take a catastrophe to burst it
and then, not even something like that will be enough

you want a reason to go on? hook yourself to the possibility that shit might get better, but you'll have to try and sacrifice things for the sake of improvement
nothing good in life comes easy, but none of that shit is impossible
especially not for you

tl;dr life sucks, but i believe in you and i believe you can make it suck a bit less around yourself
at least, enough for you to not give much of a fuck about how shit everything else may be

>>81695480
so sweet of you anon as always. Thank you. Yes i indeed lost so much but i had to reach for help and i got it. sometimes you have to ask for help anon. nobody can win a battle alone. I love your emotional intelligence anon. i know how many people here are genuinely intelligent or funny but still trapped. What started as an ironic culture became something unironic and toxic. i hope people realise this one day. nevertheless anon...thank you so much. Thank you for your time your words and your sweet presence.

>>81695505
i pray we both meet in heaven. i wish you well anon and I hope you do okay.

I'm not going to go into details, but my brother is a moron who just publicly embarrassed the entire family by doing something really dumb. It hasn't gone viral yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

Okay that's all. Thanks for listening to my TED talk.

>>81695566
the joke is that we are in hell right now, anon, and it never ends
what did i do to deserve this?

>>81695586
it happens anon. try to fix or talk with him. some families even fight and it gets bad. it happens everywhere anon please dont worry and try to work something with him. i wish you and your family happiness anon.

>>81695608
you didnt do nothing anon. its your perspective. im not rich anon nor healthy nor living the best. but i still pray and hope for a better tomorrow. a tomorrow where i can eat what i want and buy the stuff i like and pray in peace. never give up anon....always fight for your tomorrow.

may our "hell" be a heaven anon.

>>81695629
there is, and has never been, anything to fight for. i pray for the torture to end, but it never does
if only i could forget

>>81695566
>i had to reach for help and i got it.
and i'm glad you did
my case was somewhat more complicated, i was the one stopping myself from accepting help, but i managed to claw my way out of that hell, thankfully
but i respect much more those who have the courage to ask for help than those with enough willpower to climb out of hell on their own
as a sign of respect, for this one post, i shall put up one of my old trips

>i know how many people here are genuinely intelligent or funny but still trapped.
that's true, but i still believe in their potential
they can do a lot of great things if they put their minds to it, but we all seem to hang onto our own chains for some reason
it's hard to let go of them, that or sometimes they're entangled so terribly...
but i still have faith, i always will

>i hope people realise this one day.
i think a lot already do, but it won't make their troubles disappear
a lot of them just need an escape valve, and while chatting to someone (e.g. you or me) may help, a lot just... don't want that
a lot are simply angry and want to let that out

>Thank you for your time
more like, thank (You) for talking to me today
i appreciate it, really

>>81695586
and as for you, well...
you're in luck, people have terrible short term memory usually, so just delete whatever it is he posted and pretend nothing happened
give it a few months and it'll be fine

>>81695642
you have to pray and work anon. please dont just stand still. a beautiful tomorrow will always wait you...but you have to work for it anon. what issues do you have? mostcan be solved with money...get a job anon and escape your hell. i wish you well anon.

>>81695644
thank you anon. i appreciate it too. its sad but your words speak truth. we still have to reach and help too if we could. thank you for helping some anons here too sweet anonymous. Your faith anon is beautiful as you. you will always carry faith and i will always believe in you anon. take much care anon and sleep well. dont eat anything heavy before bed and dont stay on phone too much. watch a movie or something if you could before 12. wish you a sweet night anon. goodnight.

goodnight anons. much love to everyone. please take care all.

>>81695683
have a great night as well, anon
i'll be going to sleep in a little bit as i wake up early for work anyway, so i won't stay up until 12 either way, lol
currently 11:22 here so i'm already pretty late to wake up at 7...

anyway, again, have a great night
sweet dreams, for both of us

>>81695683
>mostcan be solved with money...get a job anon and escape your hell
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA, i'm going insane

>>81694461
Frustrating when all it would take is one phone call to put things straight.

>>81691433 (OP)
parents are starting to pressure me more about marriage, arranged marriage specifically.

Frankly speaking, I don't want it. I haven't seen a single happy man married and it's not like I want kinds anyway.

Also working full-time feels like I'm speedrunning life. Like, it feels I started my job just a few months ago but it's been 3 fucking years holy shit.

hey anon, long time no see

i know we just started July but it's coming up for me :)
things are going to get better, they always do

>>81695609
Uhh, there isn't any working it out. It's somewhat big in FB right now. Also, he wasn't the one who posted it. There's already news stations asking for more info. Thankfully, the one I just watched didn't have anything on it, and I'm searching other news sites about it. None so far. Phew.

>>81695644
Short term memory nationwide: yes. Local level? No. There are events here that happened two decades ago that people remember. Also, it was posted by someone else. There isn't any taking it down.