>be me
>1397 rapid on chess.com
>Take a break for about a week
>Lose many games in streak when start again
>1300 rapid
> Dw I'll get there it's just me being rusty
> Loose another 100 elo
>1192 chess.com rapid
> Suddenly playing worst chess of my life
> Self harm myself regularly after losing games
> Punch walls, cuts the hands from teeth, use cans to scrape muscle and skin from arms abdomen
> Realize I'm so trashy i won't ever reach 1800+ elo on chess.com
>Keep doing the self harm
> I'm so fucking tired of myself fuck this game ughh fuck this faggot game
What to do anons

>>81697987 (OP)
even tyler1 reached gm or some shit, really shows that being good at chess isnt that crazy.

>>81697987 (OP)
You just suck at chess. I also suck at chess

>>81697987 (OP)
play against bots n00b

>>81697987 (OP)
try playing chess with real people

>>81698036
U mean play against you that's not satisfactory at all

>>81698045
Garbage solution kys, they are real people on chess.com bitchboy

>>81698024
Gay take

>>81698024
Tyler1 is not a grandmaster in chess lol it's a very pompous thing where you have to be born into the intelligence agencies to do that

>>81698134
Yeah he watches too much of levy's gay thumbnails he should be skinned alive

>>81697987 (OP)
instead of sperging out on yourself, go back over the matches and try to understand where your blunders were. put them into a chess engine like stockfish or something idk. i don't play chess really, but it's similar when it comes to any sort of competition. the route to improvement is in realizing and shoring up your shortcomings.

>>81697987 (OP)
I don't think that chess is generally a great game to invest a lot of time into if you're more of an ADHD autist. You gotta be more like the kind of autist who would memorize pi to 10,000 places. You can get past beginner levels off of creativity and heuristics, but once you become even halfway decent it very quickly becomes less about heuristics and game theory, and is just about memorizing as many openings and board positions as possible.

Poker or RTS games, although there is still some amount of just objectively correct play within these games, are way less solved and you can gain more of an advantage by just having a hyperactive brain. I also think that chess' reputation as le most intense and complex strategy game of all time is extremely unfounded. And I say this as someone who still does genuinely enjoy and respect chess as a game.

Rant aside, you need to chill anon. Whatever is making you self harm for real definitely isn't the chess losses.

>>81698134
bro come on why do i have to research for you, grow the fuck up.