>promise multiple people i wont kill myself
>probably will anyways one day
have you ever made promises you cant keep /r9k/?

>>81698019 (OP)
stop making gay threads and just do it. kill yourself loser

>>81698035
fpbp
post original

>>81698035
ill do it eventually i swear but im scared
im sorry for making this thread i wont make another

>>81698019 (OP)
How can sea monkey liike me make a promise to anyone when I'm alone in this world

>>81698019 (OP)
well at least you have people around that would care to even hear you promise that

>>81698050
stop letting faggots fold you like a lawn chair, he didn't even say anything, if you're going to get demoralized into inaction make them put actual effort in beyond saying hurr kys

>>81698051
im sry u feel alone, i hope u find some ppl to make it better.
>>81698053
im always demoralized and depressed, i do genuinely think roping is the only answer for me and i am a loser so their post is right. i shouldnt burden ppl on the internet with my mental illness either

>>81698070
he deserves to be burdened because he's spiritually a nigger, maybe even physically one too

>>81698019 (OP)
I'm in a similar boat I suppose.
Life keeps trudging on. I want out. I want to be done.
My one friend would be devastated if I killed myself. There will be a day when that won't be enough, but it isn't today.

>>81698092
well you dont deserve to be burdened then
>>81698165
>My one friend would be devastated if I killed myself. There will be a day when that won't be enough, but it isn't today
i rly relate to this. id have already done it if it werent for my best friend. hes in a bad place too tho so i think im going to lose him eventually and thatll be the trigger to end it

>>81698019 (OP)
yes, i promised her we would hang out and be nice friends
she is dead now

>promised multiple people that I will kill myself
>have to follow through with it now
fuck

>>81698019 (OP)
The people you're talking to probably want to kill themselves too. sorry that you want to kill yourself but life fucking sucks I guess. don't tell people because it's just awkward and wind up some poor desperate souls heart. or do I guess, whatever keeps you alive. I don't fucking know

>>81698019 (OP)
i never promised anything. all ive ever said is i wouldnt do it in the near future. if these retards say they didnt see it coming im haunting them until they die.

>>81698225
>I'd have done it if it weren't for my best friend
Yeah. Same here.
My childhood bestfriend killed himself when I was 16. I didn't understand why for a few years. I was really angry at him for a long time, but now?
I already own the rifle.
Why do you think you're going to lose your best friend anon? Why do you want to kill yourself?

>>81698234
oh... im so sry anon. idk what else to say:(
do you wanna talk about her? ill listen for whatever little its worth :(
>>81698242
why did u tell ppl ud do it? and theyd prob be relieved if u didnt
>>81698281
ik, thats why i try to be nice to everyone. everyone here is probably broken like me in some way
>>81698287
i hope u dont end up doing it n find a way out of whatever dragged you down to this level of pain
>>81698304
>My childhood bestfriend killed himself when I was 16. I didn't understand why for a few years. I was really angry at him for a long time, but now?
gosh i cant imagine going thru that in hs, im sry.
>Why do you think you're going to lose your best friend anon?
hes very mentally ill, like me. he has talked about wanting to die before and even how he wanted to die with me.
>Why do you want to kill yourself?
i am adhd and might as well be useless, im also reliant on meds i really hate which really compound all my mental problems. hbu?

>>81698327
It's a weird feeling knowing you were the last person to talk to someone.
>he's mentally ill...wanted to die with me
That sounds like he wants to live to me. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he just feels alone, and wants company. Not uncommon.
Mostly because he wanted to be WITH you.
Have you considered talking about that with him? Maybe it'd help. If he brings it up first, of course. I wouldn't just spring that on him.
>meds
Ah, gotcha. Yeah. Med related issues are the worst. I have some secondhand experience with them.
What do the meds do? Just space you out? Could you get a prescription change?
I'd like to believe that you're not as useless as you think you are.
>hbu
who knows
no mental illness or anything. Not depressed; I was out and about today. I had lunch with my mom.
Just can't help but want to blow my brains out.

>>81698436
>It's a weird feeling knowing you were the last person to talk to someone
i can only imagine:(
>Have you considered talking about that with him? Maybe it'd help. If he brings it up first, of course. I wouldn't just spring that on him.
weve had quite a few talks about it, most of our relationship has been built on mutual despair and mental illness
>Ah, gotcha. Yeah. Med related issues are the worst. I have some secondhand experience with them.
i see:(
>What do the meds do? Just space you out? Could you get a prescription change?
they do alot of things, they mostly make me tired and emotional but one of them caused body changes that make me feel terrible. not much hope for prescription changes
>no mental illness or anything. Not depressed; I was out and about today. I had lunch with my mom.
Just can't help but want to blow my brains out.
are u anhedonic?

>>81698050
>but im scared
then just don't do it like everyone else here

>>81698019 (OP)
Yeah, there are some promises I have made people that get harder to fulfill as time goes on. None of those people are around anymore either. I promised to be nice to people, and have been for over a decade... It's hard because people keep taking advantage of me or ruining the small amounts of happiness I find in my life.

Then there's what you promised, that promise I already tried to break once and recently have been so worked up I almost broke again. The last time I almost broke it they abandoned me completely because I had a mental breakdown and now I know eventually I will break that promise to them. I don't see a point when they aren't around anymore.

>>81698535
>I see
Yeah.
I've seen both the effects of taking, and NOT taking necessary meds.
>tired and emotional
I see. Just tired after you take them? would it be possible to take them either really early in the day to deal with the fatigue early on, or late in the evening?
>body changes
Oh? What happened?
>relationship built on mutual despair
Maybe that's how it started and developed.
It doesn't have to stay that. You can shift it to mutual interests instead.
My current best friend I met talking about hair, and for a while they were just someone I talked about hair with. Now they're the closest person to me, and we talk about everything.
They're the person that I've promised to. I've promised them that I'd always be there for them to rely on. I might break that promise eventually, but who knows.
>are you anhedonic
No. I feel joy. One guy at work calls me 'silver-lining' because I just seem happy. I'd say I'm a fairly expressive and emotional person.
I don't have any mental issues so far I know. No autism, adhd, schizophrenia, nor depression.
I'm probably just lonely or something. Who knows.

>>81698624
im glad you keep that niceness promise. even if its hard... i think theres some value intrinsic to it. but im not a smart person, so idk. i hope you get rewarded for it.
>>81698706
>I see. Just tired after you take them? would it be possible to take them either really early in the day to deal with the fatigue early on, or late in the evening?
ive tried adjusting when i take them, doesnt make much of a difference unfortunately:(
>Oh? What happened?
very bad gyno among other things
>It doesn't have to stay that. You can shift it to mutual interests instead.
ive tried to do that and been somewhat successful, but shared pain is still the thing we share most
>My current best friend I met talking about hair, and for a while they were just someone I talked about hair with. Now they're the closest person to me, and we talk about everything.
hair?
>They're the person that I've promised to. I've promised them that I'd always be there for them to rely on. I might break that promise eventually, but who knows.
i see, thats nice. i hope you two can stay around n be there for eachother for a long time
>I don't have any mental issues so far I know. No autism, adhd, schizophrenia, nor depression.
i see... have u talked to anyone about your suicidal thoughts? maybe theres something a doc could diagnose n treat?

>>81698754
Unfortunately I have only been punished for it. Especially recently where multiple people have said things about me that weren't truthful to someone close to me, which stoked quite a number of problems down the line. I still am keeping that promise, but I hope there is some sort of justice for people causing so much harm with callously saying things without thinking about what they're saying and the potential conflicts it'd cause others. The second promise I dunno how I will keep, I am mentally destroyed now and just rot in bed.

>>81698774
I suppose the flip side is if someone had so little trust for me that f.u.d. made them anxious about me all the time, then did they ever really care about me in the first place? I don't know what to think anymore, life is a shitshow.

>>81698774
im sry:( it sucks how people talk behind eachothers backs and just make life worse for others for no reason. i hope theres some justice too for you

>>81698754
>doesn't make a difference
That's a bummer. I don't know much about adhd meds, so I can't really offer any advice.
>very bad gyno
Ah, I see. Not an uncommon problem, if it makes you feel better.
>I've tried that and been somewhat successful
Then that means you can eventually shift it. If that's what you want. There's nothing wrong with your relationship founding over shared pain.
>hair?
yeah. We have similar hair types, and we talked because we have similar issues managing it.
Long curly hair man. It's a pain.
>be there for each other for a long time
yeah.
>have you talked to anybody?
Nope. Just my friends on good ol' 4chan. Nobody can know.
It doesn't really affect my daily life. No big deal.
>a doc
No. Getting meds and/or 'treatment' would, quire frankly, be a royal pain. If I were put on meds I would kill myself immediately. I am not interested in the unfeeling.

>>81698924
>Then that means you can eventually shift it. If that's what you want. There's nothing wrong with your relationship founding over shared pain.
i hope.
>yeah. We have similar hair types, and we talked because we have similar issues managing it.
its kinda funny, my friendship started over hair misery too, and a shared solution haha
>Nope. Just my friends on good ol' 4chan. Nobody can know.
i understand:( i dont tell anyone irl about my suicidality or most of my depressive issues

>>81698953
>started over hair misery too
hah, funny coincidence. Yeah, we met in a hair thread here on r9k a few years ago.
It's 6 AM here. so I'm mostly banking they won't see it; they'd probably know it's me, and cannot know that I want to kill myself.
Nice talking with you anon. I wish you all the best
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3qJQvpJrWg

>>81698993
nice talking to you and likewise:)

>>81698019 (OP)
>probably will anyways one day
dont do that, you'll make me sad :(