Being suicidal for so long, has made me apathetic to everything. I don't care about anything anymore, just hoping I will get isekai'd into a better life. I hope I die soon

>>81713297 (OP)
What makes your life unbearable?

>>81713297 (OP)
I am sorry you are feeling that way. When did the apathy start? Apathy is really bad, it can make people push away others that care and make fun things dull causing the sadness to be worse.

>>81713297 (OP)
If you had a near death experience you wouldn't feel this way.

>>81713351
Its not like its unbearable, just that its not worth it. Like a game I've gotten sick of, but can't quit as there's no save feature. I just want to start a new one, this is incredibly boring. I'm not happy, excited or sad, just sleepy and bored. I still have to go to work, eat, chores and whatever else to live.

Just too much work, I don't like it so why continue working for nothing? I just want to start a new life, or go to sleep forever.
>>81713451
Not sad, also I've already "pushed" away everyone from around me. I just don't like talking or being around anyone, its annoying. So I left my friends and family behind, its been years since I've had anyone. Apathy slowly set in over the years, life was such a struggle so I had to cope somehow. My cope became "I'm suicidal so nothing really matters, I can do anything I want now, yay. I mean if things go bad I'll just kill myself like I was planning before"
>>81713455
I see, maybe I do russian roulette? I don't think it will make me happy, but whatever. Its a win win

>>81713297 (OP)
i get how you feel im also starting to feel more and more apathethic towards things. although, in a way it has made life more bearable: things that once hurt me or gave me insane anxiety now dont matter to me as much since im gonna die in a few years anyway. if you also find yourself feeling that way, then i suggest you spend everything you got left and do whatever it is you wanna do or that you couldn't do in the past before you kick the bucket.

>>81713528
Is there any creative endeavor you enjoy, i.e., model painting, drawing, or studying a particular discipline?

>>81713528
suicide sounds good in theory however there is a high chance u might end up getting paralyzed, disabled, or get a fucked up face, odds of being mutilated from suicide is higher than actually dying in a suicide, or if one wants to they can die painfully but i dont think anyone wants that, anyways hope it gets better for u anon, it will not but nonetheless, ignorantly hope

>>81713528
>I just want to start a new one, this is incredibly boring.
How would things be different, and how would you make different choices? Sensation seeking cannot bring about permanent amusement.
>also I've already "pushed" away everyone from around me. I just don't like talking or being around anyone, its annoying.
This is something you should resolve, being alone makes everything way worse. Having to do things around others can feel like a chore, but then when you actually them it doesn't feel so bad. Kinda like worrying about an easy test as a kid, the worry and build up to it is way worse than the thing itself.

>>81713672
Hollow point .44 Magnum round to the dome in the middle of a forest seems quite dangerous.