having to choose between being insufferably lonely or being gut wrenchingly obsessed with someone to the point of going through all stages of grief when when it inevitably falls apart or (sometimes) when they are just too busy to talk to me for a day feels like my own personal hell that no one else understands

what i would give to function normally or, at the very least, meet someone who is able to handle me without trying to warp the dynamic into something for their own personal gain (getting a high from having an influence over me, taking my retarded clinginess as flirting, etc)

fuck my stupid ass puppygirl life
FUCK

>>81737295 (OP)
>puppygirl
You are a tranny doe.

i'm the embodiment of this image every time i post here, sry

>>81737303
shoo, nigger

>>81737326
But you are one? My ai says you are a man.

>>81737295 (OP)
i find myself attracted to people like that but i know they're not good for me, lol
being clung to is something i appreciate but sometimes i just need some time to myself and that kinda fucks things up with these people, so...

and besides, nowadays i work so i only have time to spare usually from 4-5 pm to 11
for clingy people that's not enough anymore, so i'm screwed, lol
i hate how most people i find myself attracted to are not good for me in one way or another

>>81737411
i think everyone likes the feeling of being so desperately wanted, but a lot of people i've met (with some exceptions) tend to just abuse that until my attachment breaks entirely.

i think i'm a bit more understanding when it comes to my FP going to work or needing to run errands, but if they are mia for an entire day it feels like they died and i'm left to mourn until they come back, which is unbelievably hindering to my daily life if i have things to do that day and can't stop crying over not getting a text LOL .. yikes

>>81737449
Do you think it'd help if I warn you in advance of being MIA for an entire day or more? To be honest, it shouldn't really happen, but it's in case somehow I don't have internet access. I feel I'd still try to send at least one message even if I'm extremely tired.

>>81737411
>everyone likes the feeling of being so desperately wanted
i don't think that really applies to me, it's more so that i've been mostly ignored growing up so i crave companionship, and some wires in my brain must be crossed
>a lot of people i've met (with some exceptions) tend to just abuse that
then i really, really hope you find more people who don't
please stay safe out there, aye? it really sucks being vulnerable in that sense, people who exploit others in any way, especially like that, fucking disgust me

>if they are mia for an entire day it feels like they died
ah yeah, i think i get that
i used to be like that but then i just... changed, i guess
in a situation like that, would a good morning keep you from breaking down like that?

>>81737497
whoops, turns out i linked my own post, meant for >>81737449

>>81737492
communication is the biggest thing for me, but i'm not going to lie and say that i'm 100% perfect and understanding. i'm a really jealous person so, for example, if you told me you're going to hangout with another friend, i'd likely be upset until you got back. i don't try to voice that as much since i'm aware it's unfair and unrealistic to expect my FP to only have me :')

but yes something as easy as just saying "hey, i'm going to be gone for a bit" and maybe an estimate of when you'll return rly rly goes such a long way

>>81737521
Where are you from op and do you have a fp atm?

>>81737497
you're probably one of the nicest ppl i've met on here LOL ?? thank you so much, and i'm glad things got even a lil easier for you when it comes to missing people in that sense

>in a situation like that, would a good morning keep you from breaking down like that?
i'd be pretty content with just texting on and off, i'd be okay. a good morning msg would help, but if there's silence for the rest of the day, i'd def start to slip and wonder if someone is mad at me or ignoring me or with someone else, idk just spiraling in general i guess if things aren't made obnoxiously clear for me so there's no gaps to overthink

sry for late reply, captchas r the hardest thing in the world to me FOR SOME REASON LOL

>>81737561
usa! i don't have a fp right now (and hopefully for not anytime soon again, but i do miss that void being filled). i met someone from here ironically enough, it lasted for a week :/ probably one of the fastest fps to come and go, but just a really complicated situation as a whole i guess

>>81737605
what the hell is an FP and an FPS

>>81737587
>nicest
i wish... people tell me that but i just consider it being respectful, which makes me wonder what kind of horrors you (and others) must be dealing with over here
still got a long way to go though, all things considered
my problem is caring too much too easily and too fast, which doesn't put me in a much better situation

>a good morning msg would help, but if there's silence for the rest of the day, i'd def start to slip
yeah that's fair
i also overthink things a lot but i've grown used to piping myself down and not "rely" on anyone if i can help it
i don't know if that's the best thing to do but it helps me at least

still, again, i hope you find someone who adapts to you just right
not gonna lie i can feel the pull, but that tends to raise alarm bells in my head due to, well, you already know

>captchas r the hardest thing in the world to me FOR SOME REASON LOL
don't worry about that, they've been getting worse with time
just make sure you don't browse in an anonymous tab, reserve one browser for it and you get to keep the cookies
with that the captchas will get easier with time

>>81737605
>usa
Ah well good luck then. I hope he didn't ghost you and you both left in good terms.

>>81737655
SORRY, fp is a term to describe the "attachment" person for people with bpd.

"As a result, FPs become the person's main source of support and comfort. However, according to a 2022 data mining study, the intensity of the relationship often seems to cause further problems, resulting in dependency, fear of rejection, or eventually, the breakdown of the relationship."

the word "favorite" is kind of confusing in that sense since someone with bpd is much more likely to split / have turmoil with their attachment person, but that's just the term for it so idk

"It is important to note that BPD-FP relationships are not deliberate. They develop spontaneously, and those with BPD often report that it feels out of their control.

Additionally, not everyone with BPD has this type of relationship, and FP-like relationships can occur with other types of personality disorders."

>>81737660
>that tends to raise alarm bells in my head
PLEASEEEE look out for yourself first LOL, esp if you already have a lot on your plate. i think a lot of people have good intentions and try to help in whatever way they can, but it's a big handful and is pretty much the equivalent of having to babysit majority of your day.

of course, that varies from person to person because i think a lot of people also handle their condition a lot better than i do so maybe it's just about finding someone who's better at coping with such things rather than avoiding those types of ppl as a whole ? if that makes sense lol. but at least from personal experience, yeah it's a lot for both parties.

>>81737720
huh that's interesting, I never knew much about BPD girls

>>81737662
i wasn't super great towards the end so i'm not really sure how he feels, but i have no ill will against him at least. i miss him, but just not something that's viable which isn't his fault i don't think, i'm not really sure someone who can handle clinginess and lashing out without a reaction even exists.

if i was on the receiving end of being expected to spend all my time with someone and have them get upset with me over something small, i'd be too drained to continue. so i don't blame anyone. it's just lonely

>>81737295 (OP)
>fuck my stupid ass puppygirl life
How do I get a puppygirl gf?

>>81737749
>look out for yourself first
i can tell you the exact same thing, take good care of yourself
>esp if you already have a lot on your plate.
kind of, i mean i don't have a lot on my plate right now, i have my troubles but i can power through them
it's just that a lot of the time, i can give what these kinds of people want, but not enough of it
>maybe it's just about finding someone who's better at coping with such things rather than avoiding those types of ppl as a whole ?
maybe so, but yeah, compatibility issues
i would have no issues with that if not for the fact a lot of those tend to do a LOT of harm when these needs aren't being met, you know?
i may be dense as fuck but i can tell when i'm being played or controlled and when that happens... well, i can say a lot of stinging words that i don't really mean, just to hurt the other person, and things quickly turn ugly

so it's more like, we both become a threat to each other's sanity
it is a lot indeed, but things go down a lot more intensely than with other people
i think that's why i feel the pull so strongly with those, but i keep away because the fallout is usually just as intense

>>81737812
if you're talking abt finding them, unironically the easiest place for me to find other puppygirls is through twitter or steam groups LOL .. i think steam helps find games in common too so you have something to talk about !!

>>81737841
What do puppygirl gfs want in a guy? Do I have to be a tall nerdy Chad?

>>81737303
fpbp, fuck off to your containment board >>>/lgbt/

>>81737830
>we both become a threat to each other's sanity
yeah ): i'm definitely no stranger to having fallouts like that, i think only a minority of my past fps have i actually kept on good terms. most of the time something happens and i am very easy to rile up so it just snowballs into something massive. or i figure out they've been just using me for an ego boost basically or etc. idk, it gets super complicated with so many emotions involved from both ends, it feels kind of impossible to maintain a healthy dynamic like that sometimes ):

>>81737880
i can't really speak for the "community" or whatever tf u wanna call it as a whole because i am a bit too esoteric for my own wellbeing,, like not in a "omg im not like other girls" way but in a "i literally cant relate to anyone this makes it so hard to find just ONE person to really connect with" type of way, it's pretty frustrating.

BUT, i think a big misconception r9k has as a whole is caring about how they look or their bodies or whatever. i can put money on if you are sweet, funny, attentive, actually take time out of your day to make a nice gesture, a girl won't give a fuck what u look like. basic grooming is obvious, but if you're short or overweight or whatever other "flaw" i promise it doesn't hinder ur ability to get a gf. ALSO, not sure if you've seen the amount of boards on here talking about wanting a pathetic greasy man to ,, lovingly,, abuse, i promise u are FINE LOL

i think puppygirls in specific, talking from my pov, really like to be pampered (not in a material way, but in a praise and compliments way. as if she's the most precious thing on earth lol.) i think a majority of puppygirls find dominance attractive too so i guess just ..... giving a guiding caregiver role in general

>>81737948
>it feels kind of impossible to maintain a healthy dynamic like that sometimes ):
yeah indeed, these kinds of fallouts really put a strain on my mental state too so i avoid them like the plague
but you know what really fucks with me? is how both sides are usually too proud to admit they both fucked up, because in my experience, it's not something one-sided either, the other person's reaction plays a role in that snowball

over time i learned to not be as proud as that and apologize for the sake of maintaining the friendship, but i don't think i could take much of it if the other person didn't also have that same attitude
it'd be akin to gaslighting myself, you know?
and that's a really difficult attitude to have as well, so things aren't looking bright, lol

but then again...
>i figure out they've been just using me for an ego boost basically or etc.
how can you tell?

>>81737295 (OP)
heyy me too and yeah it sucks

>>81737521
>if you told me you're going to hangout with another friend
Kek, can't believe I have to say that these days, it's a realistic prospect. He does have a wife though so I don't always hang out with just him. I would love to bring le gf with me though.
>but yes something as easy as just saying "hey, i'm going to be gone for a bit" and maybe an estimate of when you'll return rly rly goes such a long way
I'd always try to know how your day is. I'm also obsessive so I'd always want to know and care even from afar.

>>81737295 (OP)
>being gut wrenchingly obsessed with someone to the point of going through all stages of grief when when it inevitably falls apart or (sometimes) when they are just too busy to talk to me for a day
What if I'm like this and I'm just a guy

>>578458
>how can you tell?
they are usually stupid enough to do EXACTLY what i asked them not to do within a few days or even hours. i had a fp before who, when i realized i was attached, i put some boundaries and etc in place so it'd be 100% clear what would upset me and what he could expect. he was VERY understanding, but within the fucking hour he instantly told me he was actually going to go play with another girl and "joked" that he was replacing me and abruptly left call. i am fine w jokes of pretty much anything even when it has to do with my brain being all messed up and shit, but HE WENT THROUGH WITH IT LOL?? then i was obviously upset and he said he was busy so i just blocked him. i guess he realized there would be no one there for him 24/7 anymore and no one practically waiting at his feet begging to have his attention, so i bet that felt pretty lonely. he tried to come back a few times saying he cut her off, but the problem was never that he had other friends, but the way he INSTANTLY did it after we just talked abt boundaries LOL

i put the wrong tag i'm stupid. ARGSGDFHHH
>>81738040 is for uuu ^

>>81738081
i hope you're doing well regardless !! <3 i'm here if you needed to vent or anything!

>>81738133
close your eyes and be blissfully unaware of any mental illness signs ^_^ you are just a guy!

>>81738193
it's fine i'm kinda over it like being alone isn't that bad what i really wish was that i had a stable career instead of gig work
i've basically accepted that i'm forever alone

>>81738182
man what the fuck, that's just genuinely being a piece of shit
i'm sorry that happened to you, like what the fuck goes through people's minds to do that kind of shit?
i guess these people never really suffered through loneliness, because only those who did can really value when someone else gives them the time of day

goddammit.
again, please stay safe out there, ok?
you seem sweet so you don't deserve that kind of treatment

and hey, if we bump into each other around here, all the better
you're nice to talk to so i appreciate you talking to me today
how have you been today, by the way?

>>81737605
where in the usa are you from and what are your interests in someone that makes you want to cling?

>>81737841
Any specific kinds of steam groups or twitter types?

>>81738253
>you seem sweet
i try to be friendly to strangers, but i'm not too pleasant to the people i've been attached to sometimes ): i don't want to try to put off a facade of being "omg oh so innocent angel!!" or whatever the fuck lol ,, a lot of relationships have been burned because of me and me alone

>you're nice to talk to so i appreciate you talking to me today
I AM SO HAPPY I POSTED TODAY !! usually, it's the typical people rage baiting and vent type posts attract them like moths to a flame, but i got super lucky today so i'm grateful to have gotten to talk to you in such perfect timing ! thank you, too!

>how have you been today, by the way?
sooo bored.. i'm trying to fast for 3 days (though not sure if i'll get that far) so i've just been rly low energy so far. i usually like to play fps games and stuff, but no will power to play those rn so i'm just talking to the strangers on my computer LOL

>>81737295 (OP)
>insufferably lonely
>wrenchingly obsessed with someone
Sounds like you need to fix your mental state. Those aren't the only two options.

>>81738300
i'm east coast !! (sorry abt being vague, i am insanely paranoid LOL)

i don't get to choose who i cling to so i'm sure you can imagine the few times i've been unfortunately attached to someone who isn't good for me or i have 0 things in common with, etc. it most commonly happens with me for me, but i've had it happens with a handful of girls though men seems to be more instant and girls tends to be within a few months. i think i cling to men easier because of daddy issues (insert funny joke about that here) . .. . lol

but it can happen for no apparent reasons even if i don't actually feel that close with that person. it's happened with coworkers before who i have maybe talked to a total of like 2 times in my life. so i just watch them like a stalker and cry if i see them talking to someone else, even though we aren't even friends. it makes no sense to me

>>81738319
there's LOADS of kink groups on steam, i think that'd be the easiest to start? but i wouldn't recommend that if you're looking for a genuine relationship outside of just lewdness. twitter has an abundance of cutesy type accounts that use tags like petplay/petre or wahtever T.T i don't rly know all that much

>>81738368
true ! but i'm unable to afford my medications and therapist anymore so i am raw dogging this shit i suppose

>>81738353
>i don't want to try to put off a facade
yeah i know, everyone has their flaws
but it's good that you recognize yours, gives you (and anyone else who might interact with you often) a chance to work around them

>I AM SO HAPPY I POSTED TODAY !!
ahem... cute.
>such perfect timing
really? what makes you think that?

>fast for 3 days
oh god, why
do you have to go to the doctor or something? fasting for that long is terrible for your health, go eat something pronto
even just a simple scrambled egg sandwich will do

>fps games
like which ones?
i usually play singleplayer or coop stuff, but out of the fps ones i've been meaning to play doom the dark ages
just gotta put my desk together and hook it up to my ethernet and power socket so i can install my PC on it
by tomorrow i think i'll finally be able to enjoy my PC again, it's been fucking months

>>81738471
>really? what makes you think that?
i guess just that only 1 person has come to be an asshat so far lol, and that we met! if it were any other time, maybe this convo never would've happened :c

>fasting for that long is terrible for your health
I HEARD THE OPPOSITE?? i heard fasting for 3 days specifically is supposed to help your health in all kinds of ways like immune system boost, metabolism, gut health, healing, etc
i'm trying to get a bit more fit before a con i'm going to comes up :)

>like which ones?
mainly apex and overwatch right now, but i've tried a big portion of the more popular ones. honestly, i've been wasting my life away playing blue archive since it came to pc so .. degen gacha player now i guess.

>it's been fucking months
WHY HAVEN'T U HAD IT FOR SO LONG? i think i'd lose my mind without my pc, it's pretty much what my life revolves around unfortunately LOL .

>>81738553
>if it were any other time, maybe this convo never would've happened :c
i suppose, i'll give you that one, lol
but i thought maybe something had happened or something, i dunno

>I HEARD THE OPPOSITE??
food has more than just calories, it has vitamins, proteins, etc.
if you're trying to get fit then go easy on carbs, or cut them off altogether
shredded cauliflower is a good alternative to rice, zucchini is good to replace noodles too (zoodles), that or just don't eat any carbs
body first burns carbs, then fat, then muscle for energy
you don't want to get to the muscle level because you'll be severely underfed by then, but low carb means you'll be burning fat
if you wanna fast, at least keep up the vitamin intake through supplements

>apex and overwatch
ah those, i shy away from competitive or gacha games nowadays
instead i like to hook myself up to other equally addictive games, like factorio, oxygen not included, etc.
but i want to do another core keeper playthrough next, i played through neon white and katana zero recently, enjoyed both quite a lot
try to go easy on the gachas, aye? you can easily waste a lot of your life away on those

>WHY HAVEN'T U HAD IT FOR SO LONG?
i moved to a new city recently for my new job, so i haven't had the chance
now i'm stabilizing over here and bought a new desk, so now i'll be getting to it again
for now i've been on my laptop which isn't all that, but it's been saving my ass so far

anyway, thank you again for talking to me today, anon
please stay safe out there, aye?
i'll be going now cause i have a trip back home to make over this night
if you ever want a chat, there's a throwaway email i made where you can reach out, and i'll reply when i can deadbatteries598 at proton (dot) me
have a great night