Anonymous
7/8/2025, 3:40:20 AM No.81750813
how do i cope with these feelings? i often feel like i am not even a real person. i am not even myself. i am simply a vessel, a personality, an idea. there is nothing genuine within me, but just i am a character on a stage that makes decisions purely based off impulse and how it would make others perceive me.
its such an awful feeling. its like theres a hollow space inside of your chest and stomach that nothing could ever remedy. this rotten part of my soul can never be fixed. and you are completely disconnected from any type of meaningful connection. you feel like the worst, most useless, wretched, disgusting human that has existed, and ever could exist. it would have been better for you to be a piece of scum at the bottom of the ocean. everyone who even looks at you can tell that you are a pathetic mess of a human and they snicker in their mind. they know im fake. they know something about me that i dont. you long for a different life, and to be a different person. its such a low feeling, you can feel it so deeply in every single part of your body, and every single nerve, every neuron, every cell. its in your bones. you could close your eyes and feel yourself physically sinking into the floor and the world closing up around you
throughout my life, i have always driven people away do to my impulsive nature. when i am in the different mindset and i dont really care what i am saying. no matter how many fresh starts i always end up alone.
however, after these intense feelings pass once again i often feel completely stoic, like i dont have the capacity to feel anything at all. cant smile, cant cry, cant hurt.
and after all that, there are times where i feel extremely energetic, and positive about life. like maybe will work out for me after all. everythings funny, nothing has any emotional weight. im extremely talkative when i feel like this.
i also cut myself often if that helps you understand me better.
how do i go on? i think one day when im low ill break.
its such an awful feeling. its like theres a hollow space inside of your chest and stomach that nothing could ever remedy. this rotten part of my soul can never be fixed. and you are completely disconnected from any type of meaningful connection. you feel like the worst, most useless, wretched, disgusting human that has existed, and ever could exist. it would have been better for you to be a piece of scum at the bottom of the ocean. everyone who even looks at you can tell that you are a pathetic mess of a human and they snicker in their mind. they know im fake. they know something about me that i dont. you long for a different life, and to be a different person. its such a low feeling, you can feel it so deeply in every single part of your body, and every single nerve, every neuron, every cell. its in your bones. you could close your eyes and feel yourself physically sinking into the floor and the world closing up around you
throughout my life, i have always driven people away do to my impulsive nature. when i am in the different mindset and i dont really care what i am saying. no matter how many fresh starts i always end up alone.
however, after these intense feelings pass once again i often feel completely stoic, like i dont have the capacity to feel anything at all. cant smile, cant cry, cant hurt.
and after all that, there are times where i feel extremely energetic, and positive about life. like maybe will work out for me after all. everythings funny, nothing has any emotional weight. im extremely talkative when i feel like this.
i also cut myself often if that helps you understand me better.
how do i go on? i think one day when im low ill break.
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