my relations with others are shit because I will unconsciously be wringing as much dopamine out of my interactions with others at their expense and at the expense of the longterm health of the relation as a whole

and if I can't wring any more dopamine out of interacting with them, or if I perceive some tiny slight that bruises my ego, I will cut them off and continue elsewhere

that is why I am essentially as "annoying" as I was when I was 14. I hate people like myself, and admire the virtuous and innocent, even magnanimous, even though I realize that being a good person is a privilege.

"you're born to this shit. you are what you are"

how are you wringing out dopamine? do you talk too much or do you insult them or do you take things too far? what do you do that ruins the relationship?