>graduated high school in may 2024
>since then i've gotten a driver's license and a car with the help of my mom and dad
>was planning to start college next month after neeting for a year (applied for two jobs but never heard back)
>got into an argument last night over something stupid with my dad, i think i forgot to take my medicine
>comes into my room 2 hours later and says he's going to send me to a halfway house for people with autism (which i do indeed have)
what the fuck do i do
i want to fucking die so bad ive already been to a mental hospital once for something equally stupid

>>81770176 (OP)
It's over nigga kek

>>81770176 (OP)
my mom would always threaten to send me to her church's rehab for "computer addiction" but she never actually did

You're a legal adult, right? Don't go, and get out of your home environment.
>I think maybe I forgot to take my meds and said something dumb blah blah
Maybe. You'll never know if it's that or if you're just being gaslit until you're on your own. As it is, it sounds like
>there exists a narrative of your credibility being worthless in your own house because you've been put in the silly box before
>just calling into question what you even said or did is a thing in your house
>you can be held to account in this house for things you don't even remember saying or doing
>you're being threatened to be at once cut-off and traumatized
>you felt it necessary to say "with the help of mom and dad" for shit done presumably in your early 20's, an age when people get help from their parents (not so bad on its own desu, but in-context I wonder)
>you see yourself as helpless and dependent on them as though you were a literal child and not a high school graduate
>you have autism, your dad knows you have autism, and he's willing to weaponize that against you (yes, that's what that was)
>your dad has a "people with autism" category in his head, a category you fall into, and it's not exactly flattering
>you felt it necessary to justify 2 years of not going to college, or basically you felt it necessary to justify not going STRAIGHT to college out of high school
>you felt it necessary to explain 2 job apps that didn't pan out
>there exists a "your medicine"
I don't know you and I don't know why you were hospitalized previously, or what last night's supposed argument was about, so maybe I'm hyping the schizo thoughts, now, but...
Have you considered that maybe you're being manipulated and gaslit to made dependent? It sounds to me like they're using hospitalization as a punitive measure for things you did to "misbehave" or upset them personally. .
Or who knows? Maybe you are a mental incompetent, but it's important to filter for variables. Maybe you're more capable than you think.

>>81770385
interesting
>>81770556
i have nowhere to go though, i have no friends irl and no connections at all.
>Maybe. You'll never know if it's that or if you're just being gaslit until you're on your own.
i did actually forget to take them, i know i did. but my parents get very angry whenever i forget. even if i'm behaving and getting along, if they check my pillbox and the pills are there they will go ballistic. it's weird.

and regarding the other stuff you said, i don't know if i'm being manipulated or not. my sister is a few years older (22, im 19) and she seems to be doing fine. but she's NT. my dad always makes sure to say "we treat both of you the same" and i just don't know if that's true. he denied i had autism even after being diagnosed, and now he's rolling with it because it's convenient.
i am quite helpless, i can barely make food on my own. i don't know how to cook because as a teenager i was told i wasn't allowed to use the stove or oven. they said it was too dangerous. and now they get mad at me for having a bmi of 17, yet they refuse to buy me good food except a pack of ensures every now and then.
i dont know what to do anymore. i cut off all my online friends because i literally dont have anything to talk about with them
also my IQ was measured to be dead average when i got diagnosed with autism, im not smart but not that dumb

>>81770855
You are not incapable of succeeding. You are incapable of being normal. You will only find the things you're good at in an environment where it's not a matter of "allowed" whether you're even able to use the kitchen. (Food control is fucking classic, by the way; all the shit about not eating in your room or "meal time" or not being allowed to cook is just food-policing wherein you can't eat unsupervised, *regardless* of the multifaceted reasons given like pests or spills or being together with the family. Seriously, the common element is just that you can't eat unsupervised, right? Figure it out.)
You might be really good at a job, or in a college course, or in some other setting, and if you're good enough at one thing you don't need to be able to "take care of yourself" domestically because you can just buy shit to make up the difference. Don't gaslight yourself because of dumb shit like your room being in disarray or not being good domestically. As you get older and enter more people's rooms, you will find that basically nobody has their shit together, we're all faking it, and everyone is self-conscious and insecure and embarassed over it. You're likely not even more of a fuckup than the average person, at least as concerns the stuff you're given the most flak for.
If you continue like this, you will be made dependent, but they'll probably still drop you the instant you're too old for it to be cute anymore. They're clearly thinking of a way to engineer that scenario (you gone) already.
Obviously you can't just take off, but I'd suggest you start thinking of ways to build yourself up until you can, and notice how they fight you on it despite ostensibly being exhausted with you depending on them.
Good luck.

>>81770176 (OP)
nigga get off 4chan
reading the rest, maybe you need this place but be careful and think for youself
trust yourself first because ultimately only you are looking out for you
>>81770855
your dad doesn't want you around and the other anon is right that hanging around is bad news
you're not so incapable that you can't even make food - there are people with down's syndrome working in kitchens
you've been taught that you can't make food and denied access to the tools for learning but you could do it
eat nuts - they are healthy and calorie dense
try to eat fruits, if you can afford them, and carrots are cheap and good
i'd tell you basic recipes but you wont be allowed to implement them anyway

which segues into what is most important: get out of that house
get a job
it doesn't matter what the job is just get a job
idk where you are and it does make a huge difference here but you should at least be able to work at amazon
if you have no transport, then figure out public transport routes and amazon accomodates this usually or heck get a damn taxi provided it is economical
you need to be independent or your parents will keep you around to beat on you and suck the life out of you and that means getting a job
literally nothing else matters 5% of this

you can do laundry, you can wash yourself, and you can buy things so you can survive and you can easily live healthily on a diet of nothing but nuts, bread, fruit, dark chocolate, carrots, and yoghurt
iq is pretty meaningless past a point but think of it this way: if you are average then 50% of people are stupider than you
are 50% of people useless and unable to live alone?

>>81770176 (OP)
your father sounds like a niggerbrain, too dumb to argue against an anime autist so he physically threatens his son to prove that he is correct.

Might be good for you, my sister lived in a halfway house but it was after rehab for heroin. I wish there was something like that for me but I'm just a nothing loser man

>>81770176 (OP)
can someone explain what a "halfway house" is it sounds terrifying

im back i took a walk
>>81771024
>You are not incapable of succeeding. You are incapable of being normal. You will only find the things you're good at in...
i agree with that. there are some things im somewhat competent at, mainly working with computers and tinkering with cell phone firmware. hell, my college major (i dont know if ill even go now) is information technology. but the problem is that i just don't see myself doing well in that field. it's so saturated and filled with overseas labor (im american) that it seems pointless, especially since im only planning on getting an associate degree. i have a passion for farming/agriculture as well but it's a similar situation, very hard to get into.
>If you continue like this, you will be made dependent, but they'll probably still drop you the instant you're too old for it to be cute anymore. They're clearly thinking of a way to engineer that scenario (you gone) already.
Obviously you can't just take off, but I'd suggest you start thinking of ways to build yourself up until you can, and notice how they fight you on it despite ostensibly being exhausted with you depending on them.
Good luck.
they've been threatening to kick me out even before i graduated high school. one time i asked my dad why he's so tough on me (even said i could be out doing crack and committing crimes instead) and he said some bullshit along the lines of "i want you to have a better childhood than i did". but that dream is dead to him, because i'm autistic. he has tourette's tbf but they're different.
i don't know what to do, i have no connections, i offer nothing to anyone. the closest friend i had in high school moved two hours away.
do i just say fuck it and leave? i mean, that seems viable now. i don't know how to survive though, im the exact opposite of a homeless person.
>>81771042
is it one of those things where pondering it until its too late (instead of putting things into action) will fuck me over? i can barely even order food by myself

>>81771149
he is, whenever i argue with him he just says "no its not" when i (once in a blue moon) have a good point against him. nothing makes him think.

also its worth mentioning he works like 70 hours a week, i barely even see him most of the time since i go to sleep to avoid him. i respect him for that but still
>>81771259
i'm not cut out for that though, i'm autistic. i have no street smarts at all. even mental hospitals are awful, cant imagine being in a random house

>>81771468
there is always work in IT as long as people use networks and computers there will need to be people who install and maintain them
right now, however, you just need a job: any job
agriculture is much harder to get into in any decent way
>do i just say fuck it and leave?
how much money do you actually have?
just leaving is very sink or swim
>i don't know how to survive
you literally just need a job and the ability to take deliveries or get to a supermarket
>is it one of those things where pondering it until its too late will fuck me over?
yes the longer you wait the worse it becomes
right now you are like 20 and people will cut you a lot of slack which they will not afford you at 30
none of this is as hard as you think it is
the hardest part is getting a job but doing it and keeping it will almost certainly be much easier
being alive and adulting yourself is seriously really really easy and you are entirely capable of doing it
>i can barely even order food by myself
why?
which part of the process can you not do?
you could download an app, navigate the menus, add stuff, type in your address, click order, and enter your card details so why can you barely do this?
these days you don't even have to take a delivery because they will just leave it on your doorstep since everyone is such a retard they aren't even capable of not being in their underwear for ten minutes
you've learned (been trained) to be helpless and dependent so you can be controlled and only you can break out of that

have you ever watched welcome to the nhk? if you have, remind yourself what happens at the end satou is cut off and has to choose between starving and getting a job so he finds work as a traffic officer granted that is in japan where the institutions which facilitate that are easier and more apparent but it's still something you are capable of
nobody is coming
you have to be the one who actions change or it will eventually be too late

>>81771468
You remind me of myself ten years ago. You are not incapable. Get that out of your head. You don't need to entertain anybody else's mythos about your autism.